The Magic of Old
by EllieK-21
Summary: Severus Snape met his match when he was a student but lost her shortly before graduation. She returns after over a decade, things change. This story goes back and forth between present day and when Snape and the Marauders where in school. SS-OFC story
1. Chapter One: The Boy At My Left

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Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 

NO! And all this time I thought I owned Harry Potter!

**ATTENTION:** This story is AU (Alternate Universe)! It does NOT follow canon to the letter! Events, dates, storylines have been modified (in other words: canon buggery). This is a fantasy, and should be read as such. THIS STORY IS BEING RE-WRITTEN. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

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**Chapter 1 : The Boy at My Left**

When I was small, I would sit alone in the darkness of my perpetual thoughts and wonder if I would ever leave that place. My life was a room in a basement of stone walls, stone floors, and a water stained ceiling. There were books, which were alphabetically assigned to the shelves, containing words by the millions. None of which could clarify or articulate the anguish I experienced. It was all part of the show, the great secret that was my life. Forever I was type cast in a recurring role that placed me center stage in harms way. I wanted to pull the great velvet curtains in a grand finale. It was not to be.

There were a few years when I was happy, though. That was before the running began and before the lies were told. The best years of my life were spent with _him_.

One day he was there.

From across the room his eyes met mine.

oooooooo

I decided it was time to finish the magical journey that had started the day I began my education outside of The Guardians' house. I kept thinking, "The castle hasn't changed in all these years, but have I?"

I was arriving hours late, as was my usual habit. Nerves were clawing in the pit of my stomach as they churned acid and caused my head to spin.

_What am I thinking, returning to this place? Have I gone mad?_

The doors of the Great Hall were in my hands now. _Should I open them?_

I backed away from the doors and began to pace, my steps matching the furious thumping in my chest. I pulled the cloak from my head, straightened up, and drew air slowly into my lungs.

_I am no longer running._

At his request, I met with my former headmaster two weeks ago in a pub outside of Cordoba, Spain. He and I had not spoken for nearly fourteen years but when I looked into his kindly eyes I felt like a child again. Albus Dumbledore was the wisest wizard I had ever known. When he asked me return with him I could not resist. It was a chance I thought I had missed.

I had been a student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry once before. I was a member of Gryffindor House. That was before the running began. It was the race against myself that I could never seem to win.

"Just open the doors," I whispered softly, willing my hands to move. I could hear him addressing the students at the end of the feast.

"Before you leave for your dorms I have an announcement to make. We are adding a new course of study this year which I hope many of you will consider," said Dumbledore. "The Magic of Muggles will be taught by a returning student to Hogwarts who, in addition to her teaching duties, will be working toward her graduation." That is when the doors to the Great Hall groaned loudly and swung open. All heads turned to see me. "Ah, Miss Kinsington, so good to see you again," he said. I wanted to die just at that moment. Fearing I would pass out, I began to walk forward. "I hope your journey was pleasant. Students, I present to you Miss Ellie Kinsington."

I hurriedly swept through the hall and rounded the staff table at such speed that I must have appeared to be running away from some unseen assailant. That wasn't far from the truth. To my horror, the only vacant seat was next to Potions Master Severus Snape.

"Now that Miss Kinsington has taken her due place, I think it is appropriate to begin another year," the Headmaster sang out. "Prefects, please escort your fellow house members to their new homes. This will be a most wonderful year."

Even as Dumbledore's words of warmth filled the air, the icy hate emanating from my left pierced my skin. I dare not look at him and knew he wouldn't waste a look on me. Luckily, Snape did me the favor of leaving immediately following the feast. He rose from his seat to my left and swept out the door behind us. I lingered at the table paralyzed by the memory of my own commencement feast…

* * *

I was ten when I was accepted to Hogwarts. This was surprising since the normal age of acceptance was eleven. I think Dumbledore always knew, though I never told him, what horrors waited for me at home. I had never been to any school before because The Guardians chose to educate me at home in the same little room where I slept and played and grew. They knew all along. They must have because they weren't at all shocked as they packed my things. 

"Magical? This is fantasy? There are no such things as witches!" I said aloud to them as they packed my bags. Visions of cackling green hags in pointed black hats with long, warty noses filled my head then."I am already ugly enough.Do I really have to turn the color of old pickles?"

They put me on the train before I could fathom that this was the first time I had been in public during daylight. I was so nervous. After my arrival in Hogsmeade and crossing the lake with a gentle giant of man called Hagrid, I thought I had seen everything. Then Professor McGonagall called me to the front to be sorted by the old raggedy hat. When the hat spoke I jumped and threw it off my head.

"How did it do that?" I screamed. _I must be crazy! Hats can't talk!_ I heard laughing and jeering from the students that filled the hall.

Dumbledore turned his warm, sparkling eyes on me and then spoke, "My dear child, let's have another try, shall we? The Sorting Hat will need to concentrate, so wait patiently while it does. Here now." He put it back on my head.

The hat was not pleased at my having hurled it to the ground. In retaliation it bloody well took its time. It finally began thinking out loud, "Hufflepuff…I think not. Although it could be the answer… Ravenclaw… Closer yet …very, very clever indeed, aren't you…it's just that Slytherin seems more your style…cunning, ambitious yet…Gryffindor, courage and bravery are there…but where to put you? Oh my, that must be it! A first for sure here at Hogwarts… well, I think I will have to decide for you then…so it's GRYFFINDOR!" shouted the hat.

I was horrified to find all eyes on me. I walked weakly to the Gryffindor table and took a seat at the end, facing toward the Ravenclaw and Slytherin tables. Gradually, the students seated nearest welcomed me and then the feast began.

_One night here and already I am an outcast among weirdoes._

That is when I saw him: a pale Slytherin boy with dark hair and eyes was staring at me inquisitively. A feeling like hot bubbles began to brew in my stomach. I couldn't break away from his eyes and I didn't want to…

* * *

I shook the memories out of my head and stood up. I exited the hall through the teacher's door and walked alone down the dark corridor which would eventually lead to my rooms. Thankfully I made it to my place without further drama. Professor Saturn had lived here when I was a student. I was pleased. It was rather nice with an excellent view of the grounds. Without further ado I prepared for bed. 

_You are home again, Ellie. Just tell yourself you're home._ This is what I was advising myself to do, even though I wasn't yet convinced of it._ Where exactly is home anyway? Enough debating for now. Time for sleep._

As usual, dreams did little to comfort me. When your life is filled with madness you can't really hope for visions of sugarplums dancing in your dreams.

* * *

When I woke early the next morning I felt drained, but forced myself to get up. "Merlin's Beard, do I need a coffee," I muttered. 

_Good old Hogwarts._

There was a pot of rich smelling coffee, complete with creams and sugars of different varieties, on the table near the patio doors.

_How I do love house elves._

I toasted as I pored myself a magnificent cup of liquid energy, "Here's to me and my bold endeavors." Why was it that no matter how I tried, I could never brew coffee as good as this?

_So, what do non-Muggle teachers wear these days?_ I contemplated while looking at my clothing, which had been neatly hung in my closet by those dear little house elves. I wasn't about to give up being stylish just because I was a bloody old school marm! I was dead set against being the last to arrive yet again, so I showered and dressed quickly. I grabbed my leather bag and proceeded hurriedly out the door for breakfast.

"So, Miss Kinsington," began McGonagall, "are you prepared for a very busy day? I believe you have two classes to teach along with one to take yourself today. Are you quite ready?" she finished as she handed me my schedule.

"Well, Professor, I do believe I have waited quite long enough to finish my magical schooling. I must say, it was a very interesting extended holiday," I answered with a nervous grin. I had left Hogwarts in the middle of the last term of my sixth year. "I know I am ready to teach because that is at least one lesson I followed to completion."

If ever I had finished anything it was college for sure. I had a bachelor's degree in education and a master's degree in chemistry from Harvard University in America. Muggle school was rather easy for me as opposed to my magical endeavors that I had long since abandoned. I had been content to blend in among the hundreds of faces at a major Muggle university.

She smiled gently at me and said, "Yes, dear, I suppose you are right. Quite an impressive résumé I have heard tell."

It was easy to speak to her face to face since the chair between us, meant for Snape, was empty. Much to my relief he did not turn up for breakfast that day. I looked down at the Gryffindor table and saw a familiar face. "That's him, isn't it? I would know him anywhere!" I said to McGonagall. Harry Potter looked strikingly similar to his father at that age. James was a year ahead of me and we had been good friends during the later years at Hogwarts.

"Oh, yes," McGonagall replied, "this is his second year."

_The same age exactly as when I met his dad!_

"I'll see you at lunch. I am off to teach my very first class," I said excitedly.

* * *

"Hello everyone. My name is Ellie Kinsington and I will be teaching you all a great variety of things. It may be easier just to begin and soon you will all get a feel of it. Let's have a go then, shall we? I would like you all to take out your wands and set them on the desk in front of you. Just think for a moment. What you do if you had no wand at all? What if there were no magic? Who would you be and what would you do? Imagine…the world is what it is: natural and wondrous. There is light from the sun, water from the lakes and streams that connect to the vast seas, air from the tumbling breezes, earth from rock and soil of mountains; Life and its magic from everywhere." 

"Uhm, Miss Kinsington," interrupted Hermione Granger, hand raised high.

"Miss Granger, I believe? Go on," I said patiently. I knew she would be the first to speak and it made me grin.

"If there's no magic then we wouldn't be here, would we?" she asked incredulously.

"Wouldn't we?" I asked. "Aren't there are billions of people without magic all around us? They exist as do we. Why do you think that is?"

"I really…don't know…but well…" Hermione was visibly flustered.

"No one really knows, Miss Granger. There are things in life that defy explanation, and it is those things that keep us yearning to know more. You are all witches and wizards with the ability to perform spells and incantations. That would bewilder the most learned minds in the Muggle world. But what are you without your wands and spells? In all of you there is a power waiting to be released. But how does it get out? Anyone?" I asked.

"Our wands," answered Harry Potter, "We let it out with our wands."

"Yes, Mr. Potter, exactly! And they are all unique to the wizard they choose, right? They have their own magic inside as well. The most common magical elements for the wands that lie before you are heartstrings of dragons, unicorn tails or horn dust, hairs of the Veela, and many other things, including your own Phoenix feather, Mr. Potter. The point to all this is that there is a connection between all magical beings. When these forces are combined, they are able to release great wonders." I paused and saw the light of interest on their faces.

"Some beings can release this magic on their own, yet others cannot. Think about it for next time. All of you study your wands and see if you can find its connection to you. I am not requiring a report but you will all be asked to share your findings with me on our next meeting." Time passed quickly and before I knew it, the class was over. Many of them were beginning to see it. I knew Harry was one of them.

* * *

Lunch time passed quickly without the presence of Snape. 

_He is purposefully avoiding me. I know it! This is going to make it all the worse when I do see him._

This welcome isolation would not last forever.

_Potions next. I think my heart will pop out of my chest anytime now._ The dread was unbearable and wished I had not returned to this place._ What am I doing? I must be mad! This punishment will undoubtedly last for ever. No matter; you must do this or you will forever run from who you are. You never should have left it like that. But what other choice had there been?_

I entered the Potions classroom ready to repeat my sixth year. The look in his eyes was full of loathing and rich with an anger that only I could understand. I took a place alone in the back, bracing myself for the hurricane of hatred that was in the making. I could hardly breathe as Snape glared at me with those black eyes of his.

"Today we will be brewing a poison so powerful that the very thought of it has been know to kill," roared Snape, never removing his eyes from my own.

"Since most of you are so pathetically inclined to foul up even the simplest of potions, I will be watching closely. In anticipation of your eminent failures, I have prepared mass quantities of antidote and placed a flagon at each of your stations. The instructions," he flicked his wand at the black board, "are on the board. Ingredients," he flicked it again, "in the cupboard. Begin!" He shouted then whipped around and strode to his desk.

_That was rather pleasant really._

I inhaled deeply and began to prepare the potion.

_I'm sure he wants this potion to kill me. Damn, it has been a long time since I've brewed anything other than tea. I have no idea what I am doing. This will be my end I believe. How to begin? Think, Ellie! First add the venom to the water and boil for 1 minute. Then add the sugar…oh, hell! This is bad!_

He reached my desk before I even knew he had risen from his seat.

"And just what in the bloody hell are you doing, Miss Kinsington?" he spat at me. "Have you the foggiest clue of what you are doing?"

"No, Professor Snape. I haven't a clue." I answered honestly with a clever calm that surprised me.

"I was led to believe that you had been educated since your last stint here, Miss Kinsington. Where is it exactly that you earned your degree? At the Institute of Flibbertigibbet and Gobledy-Gook?" he bellowed with a twisted scowl of acidic pleasure. The students snickered around us.

"As a matter of fact," I said loudly feeling my temper rise, "it was Harvard in America."

"Hah! It eludes me how an institution of such Muggle prestige can spit out a girl who I say cannot produce water from a running faucet! You will leave this classroom at once and will not return, until I am satisfied that you are completely versed in Remedial Potions that a _Muggle_ could make by accident!"

"How dare you speak to me in front of_ our_ students as if I am some silly dog who's just wet on your shoes?" I would show him I was not that girl from long ago. "You will speak to me, Professor Snape, with the respect I deserve!"

"You are a student in my class, and will be treated as such, as long as you dare pass through these doors! DETENTION, Miss Kinsington! Starting tonight, immediately following dinner, and then every night thereafter, until you have finished 5 years worth of Potions lesson! OUT! NOW!"

I was furious and tore out of there after flinging him a look of undeniable loathing.

"That's more like it really," I said angrily.

Next time I would not lose my cool. I would not allow him to have the pleasure of seeing my torment each time we meet. In my deepest of secrets I knew I deserved it. He didn't know it was the only way. He never knew it was always for him. No longer angry but very sad, I went to my rooms and wished that for just a moment it would stop. My heart felt the profound burden of this love that I didn't understand and was powerless to stop. I did not go to dinner that night, opting to sit alone in my room crowded by the darkness that was always there. Detention was only the beginning of the penance I would serve in the purgatory of my soul...

* * *

I remembered the first class I ever had with him. 

Professor Flitwick had moved me, from Charms grade one with the Gryffindors, to his second year class with the Slytherins. Apparently I was a natural. Slytherin was the house most loathed and feared by all so I was scared out of my wits as I approached the already full classroom. As in my other Charms class, there were assigned seats. I opened the door and went directly to the Professor.

"Class, we have a new student who will be joining from here on. This is Miss Ellie Kinsington and she is one of my first year students. Let's all make her feel welcome, shall we," he said cheerily. "Now, Miss Kinsington, take a seat, dear. Mr. Snape, please raise your hand. Off you go now, the empty seat next to Mr. Snape."

As I took my seat, Snape glared at me briefly in disgust as the blond boy next to him muttered, "Mudblood Gryffindor slime." Snape and the boy looked at each other knowingly.

_What in the world is a Mudblood? Obviously it's something very nasty._

I was trembling while I thought this but I dare not act like I had overheard them. Trying very hard to focus on the lesson and not make a spectacle of myself, I began to take notes with the quill and parchment before me. It seemed that I knew all the answers to Professor Flitwick's questions. I thought better about raising my hand and opted to write down the answers for myself instead. The boy to my left looked sternly straight ahead during the class. I could swear that he was reading my paper out of the corner of his eye from time to time.

My days progressed as usual and I gradually learned not to care what anyone thought of me, most of the time anyway. The library was more my room than my dorm by now. Off in a corner behind mounds of books I would hide for hours. I was beginning to find that many times spells would work for me without my wand, but I never told anyone. I would casually dismiss these occurrences as flukes. They looked at me sometimes, the other Gryffindors I mean, when they thought I couldn't see them. They were never rude to me; in fact they were rather polite. None of them ever made an effort to approach me in friendship though. I cared very little and truly found solace in my seclusion. It was what I was accustomed to after all.

My Charms class with the Slytherins was above all my favorite, even with the always present coldness and silence. The blond boy, I now knew to be Lucius Malfoy, was constantly hissing to Severus Snape about me. Malfoy would say such flatter things as "hideous child of filth, Muggle born waste, dirty Mudblood loser". He was such a git that it was easy to pay him no mind. Severus never said anything in return to Lucius nor did he ever look at me or speak to me.

It went on that way until the Christmas Holiday. A break from school meant that I would return home to The Guardians for three weeks. My spirits sank as I boarded the train in Hogsmeade Station. I made my way to an empty compartment to begin the short journey back to my private prison. For the duration of the ride, I just stared out the window, hoping the train would never stop. No one joined me and I was glad of it. All the students and I disembarked at platform nine and three quarters to reenter what I now knew to be the Muggle world. The Guardians were waiting for me, standing tall and ominous amid the confusion of happy reunions.

"Good morning, Sir. Good morning, Madam," I said dutifully as I curtsied, never meeting their cold eyes.

I believe I saw Severus Snape look at me with bewilderment as he proceeded out with his parents. Without a word, The Guardians and I left the station and stepped into the large black limousine that waited to deliver us to the mansion…

* * *

_Time for detention._

The office was empty. I stood behind the table and waited for Snape. He entered loudly with a slam of the door. I dare not jump or move at all.

"You will make the first three potions in book one tonight. When you return tomorrow night you will turn in a roll of parchment on each. Do we understand each other, Miss Kinsington?" he said silkily.

"Yes, Professor Snape. I understand quite well."

Those were the only words that passed between us that night. I diligently worked on my task never uttering a sound. I had to admit that I needed to do this because potions had always been difficult for me.

_I wonder if he knows that I need this? Maybe he is simply trying to prove that he is in control?_

When I had finished my potions, I took a flagon of each and presented them to Snape at his desk. Never looking up, he continued to grade his papers as I left. Never looking up, he continued to grade his papers as I left. Back to my second home the library I went to research and write the reports he had demanded of me. Though I was certain I would receive poor markings no matter what I turned in, I wrote exceptionally well thought out reports. When he returned them to me night after next I was genuinely taken aback that he awarded me top marks.

And so it went on like that for weeks. I would make the potions, turn them in, leave to write the reports, and return each night to get my excellent grades, all without a word. My luck would end of course and it did so on a Friday night in mid October. I was attempting to brew an antidote for the venom of a particularly nasty breed of spider called The Curdled Hag. It should have turned a particular shade of bright purple by now, but was instead turning clear as water and smoking as if it were on fire. The fumes were beginning to make me ill so I knew that I had to call attention to it.

"Professor Snape, I really think you ought to have a look at this," I said urgently, "I can't see what I've done. I know this can't be good."

He looked up at me stunned that the silence had been interrupted. "Hmmm," he replied bitterly, coming over to my table. He was quiet for a long time looking at the smoking liquid. It now had begun to ripple in my cauldron. "Which of my instructions did you find unnecessary to follow, Kinsington?" He hissed, turning his dark eyes to mine.

"I assure you, the instructions were followed to the letter, Professor," I snapped. "If I made a mistake I can't say what it was."

"You mean other than returning to this place!" he fired.

"Why don't you read your directions? Maybe there in lies the mistake!" I yelled.

He looked at the board and then to me. I got the impression that he was a bit alarmed by something.

"Step away quickly, Kinsington. NOW GIRL, MOVE!" he yelled.

I had barely taken a step when the cauldron moaned loudly and the fluid within shot fountain like into the air. It spewed out what seemed to be nearly ten times the amount that had been previously there. It then became a thick cloud of smoke that smelled of rancid flesh. I could barely contain my nausea when he shouted, "Reducto a finito," while his wand hand made a wild swoop.

"The dried cat blood…is this the jar you took from?" he asked accusingly. "Well? Answer me, Kinsington!"

"Yes."

"I knew someone has been meddling with my private stock! Potter and his goons I suspect. Prowling around my things, poking around in affairs that need not be messed with! I'll have Potter for this!" He was raving mad. "You've no idea how lucky you've just been." Lifting the jar of dried blood, he examined it. "Cinnamon…pathetic attempt at a replacement. Do you know what happens when cinnamon is added to this?"

"Apparently, something undesirable," I replied.

"Apparently, something undesirable?" he mocked. "That was a potion to remove flesh from Dementors! Had you not moved I would be talking to your smoking, skinless corpse!" He seemed almost pleased with the thought of it.

"Well, glad you were here to save me," I said with a nasty grin and sickly sweet voice.

"Whatever you think you're playing at, Kinsington, you had better think twice! I do not make a habit of cleaning up the messes that fools have created for themselves! I rather enjoy watching the weak writhe in their own self- important chaos!" He nearly forced these words down my throat. "The very sight of you revolts me. I would never have allowed your return and I am at a loss for the logic behind the Headmasters decision to do so. I think you should leave this place before everyone else sees you for what you are. And you know what you are? A spineless, wretched, vile woman!"

I stepped back and instinctively turned my head to one side, holding up my arms to shield my face from the blow I was expecting. He stepped back horrorstricken and said no more. I saw in his eyes for a moment a glimmer of acknowledgment.

Breathing as if I had been nearly drowned, I retreated from the room, slammed the door behind me, and leaned against it shaking terribly.

I ran out of the dungeon and straight outside to the enclosed courtyard, then collapsed to my knees on the cold grass. Unable to cry tears I became dizzy. My head swooned with the memories of the first time I had seen that look in his eyes…

* * *

I do not remember the return journey to the school during my second year Christmas Holiday. All I remember is being in Hagrid's arms. I heard them speaking but could not see them. 

"Poor tiny child. She was near dead by the time I got to er. The Muggle doctors were all shakin' their heads and the nurses were cryin'. Took her then I did. I eard em say that both arms and legs were broke and her skull shattered." He was crying now as he continued, "She tole me she was scared to use magic on em cause she was 'fraid she'd be sent to Azkaban." Now sobbing heartily he addressed the headmaster, "Surely this means we can do summat now Professor Dumbledore.

Dumbledore's voice wasfull of grief and softer than I had ever heard ashe spoke to Hagrid. "It is with the deepest sorrow that I must tell you we cannot. The magic at work here is ancient and unable to be broken by even the most powerful of wizards." I heard his voice crack a little as he said, "Her burden is deeper than any child should ever have. Only time will tell what is to happen. Right now she needs to see Madam Pomfrey urgently. Let us hope this is not the end."

Through my battered and swollen eyes, I caught a glimpse of his shadow from behind a pillar. I passed out and awoke hours later in the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey was delicately washing my tattered face. "There now, sleep dear. It's all right you're safe with us for now."

I sobbed and felt my ribs pinch and tighten. "I promise I'll be good, Madam. Please, no more." I pleaded deliriously to the image of The Guardians I was now seeing. "Sir no! I think it's broken. Please I won't tell I swear, Sir, please. I will never tell."

"Ellie, your head is hurt badly dear. It's only a vision. They're not here," Madam Pomfrey soothed. "Close your eyes and rest now. You must try and sleep."

I closed my eyes but I don't think it was sleep that I went to that night. I dreamed I saw a boy slip an invisibility cloak off his body and then on again. He watched me motionless for hours. His dark eyes saddened by the pitiful broken child he saw before him. I knew, even in my delirium, that a secret of mine had been witnessed by the boy who always sat at my left. I know he too had a secret.

The first day of classes since my stealthy return after Christmas holiday was difficult. My bones were sore but, nevertheless, the fractures had healed. My head remained cloudy even though the physical damage had been repaired. My face and neck had some slight residual purple bruising that I hid with my curly, shoulder-length blond hair. The small faded cuts about my left eye could easily be explained as an injury sustained from running into a door left ajar.

I took my usual seat in double Charms. I was really worn out and could barely focus on the lesson that day. When the questions were posed, I didn't even bother to scribble the answers on the parchment like I usually did. At the end of class I slowly gathered my belongings and put them in my black shoulder bag. I thought everyone had left by now so I was shocked to see him standing there.

"Why don't you raise your hand, Kinsington?" Snape had never spoken to me before in the year and a half I had sat beside him. "You never raise your hand but I see all the right answers on the parchment in front of you."

I was speechless. I had thought him mute before this and I stuttered out, "W-well, I…I think it better that I keep quiet."

He tilted his head and arched a dark eyebrow.

"Nobody likes a know-it-all do they? I don't need to provide the opportunity to hear myself called a Mudblood Gryffindor scum any more than I need the praise of a teacher for giving the right answers. It is enough that I know. No one else need tell me." I raised the bag and slung it carelessly over my shoulder. "Ahmmm," I whimpered as the weight of it on my tender flesh caused my no cry out in pain. I looked away and adjusted the bag, gritting my teeth and drawing in a large breath.

"Are you…quite all right?" he asked sincerely. I hoped he would dare not mention what he had witnessed very late the night I had returned. He did not.

I looked at him not wanting to tell the truth. "I am as I always am," I whispered in a dead voice. With that I left him there in the classroom. I did not turn to see him leave but I knew he followed far behind me on our way to lunch. I sat at the end of the table facing the usual way some how feeling stronger. I met his eyes in the distance. The rest of the year went on as it had before, with him sitting silently to my left as I jotted down the answers…

* * *

It was now only a week until Christmas and my return to Hogwarts was not going as I had hoped. I shook my head slightly, tying to dislodge the thoughts that consumed me. I was sitting at the staff table counting the minutes until dinner ended. 

"That is a spectacular waste of food, Kinsington," said Snape as he watched me pushing the vegetables around my plate.

"I suppose it is, but I'm not hungry tonight." I spoke quietly, nervous to see where this was going next.

"Hmm, you never are these days are you?" He was being so civil that I scarcely believed it.

"No, not really."

"Is there anything…" He stopped himself before I thought he might actually give a damn and spat, "Detention then." He rose and swept out the doors behind us.

"What a way to spend a Friday night," I chortled. To the dungeons I went ready for a lashing. I was surprised to find him sitting in his armchair by the fire when I entered. I began to walk to my work area when he spoke.

"You look as though you could use a drink. Join me, won't you?"

_Did I hear that correctly?_

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"Wine, Kinsington, ever heard of it?" he hissed. "Drink or go; it is of difference to me."

"Red wine? Got anything stronger?" Boy did I need that drink! I poured myself a glass and just before sipping it, I stopped abruptly with the glass at my lips.

"As much as I considered it, Kinsington, I did not want to ruin a particularly good bottle of wine with poison. Afraid that I might try and slip you a mickey?" His lips twisted into a most horrid smirk.

I swallowed it at once and coughed out, "Yes, well the thought did cross my mind." I would not put anything past him. "This is quite good. What year is it?"

"1872, a great year for Wizard's Wine."

"Hm, yes." I took the chair that remained. He was at my left of course, always at my left.

I nearly chugged that first glass waiting eagerly to feel its effect. We didn't talk but sat looking blankly into the fire. As I sipped my second glass slower than I had the last, he posed the first question since I had been back these three and a half months, after a separation of nearly fourteen years.

"Were you in America for long?" Snape had a very accusing tone in his voice when he said this.

"Uhm…six years. I started Harvard just after I turned eighteen." I paused for about a minute and then decided to tell more, though he had not asked. I was a little tipsy from the wine and it was giving me false courage. "After that, I went nearly everywhere. Italy, China, Spain, Russia, Egypt… I could go on all night with the places I've been. Except for college I never stayed in one place for long."

"That does not surprise me," he said bitterly. "Learn anything on your fantastic voyage?"

I could hear the sarcasm but answered none the less, "I learned how to speak every language I encountered which were the easiest things I ever learned." He looked unimpressed and arched his eyebrow. "Magically I learned far more. Some things I can hardly explain. It's everywhere you know…magic I mean. The most ancient places on Earth contain loads of it."

Snape looked more than bored. "Fascinating. You have come to terms with it then?" he asked.

"What do mean? Come to terms with what?"

"I mean, of course, that you are a Sorceress, Ellie."

I don't know if it was the way he said it, or the fact that he had called me by my given name for the first time in fourteen years, that made me go silent. I turned to face the fire again and finished my wine. I got up to pour myself a third glass and realized that I was well on the way to being drunk. He held his glass up to me and I pored him another. I was numb all over, more from shock than the drink, and sat again.

"I am as I always am," I said in a hushed voice which sounded rather haunted even to me.

We sat there drinking the bottle dry without another word as the night progressed. I was very drunk and incontrovertibly sleepy. As my eyelids closed I heard him whisper, "You should go. It is very late." But I had already fallen asleep there in the chair by the fire and he did not wake me. I dreamed a different dream that night. We were young again and I was in his arms.

In sleep I whipsered, "Severus."

I awoke with a start as he replied, "Yes?"

Staggering, I got up from where I had been soundly sleeping for hours. I reached the doors and without turning whispered, "I'm sorry," and slipped out into the hallway, closing the doors quietly behind me.

* * *

A/N: When I wrote this story I had no idea that FanFiction even existed! I was bombarded by images of Severus Snape after re-reading all 5 Harry Potter Books. I decided to do something about it. I had to write it down to get it out of my head. 

One day I was on-line, just researching and trying to find out when book 6 was coming out, when I stumbled across a web site that featured stories written about Snape and H.Granger. Upon further exploration, I discovered there were thousands of stories of all sorts, including stories about Severus Snape and original characters. I thought to myself, "Oh my! This is what I did! I wrote a fan fic!" I was astounded! Please review...this is a long journey.

Graciously,  
EllieK


	2. Chapter Two: The Slytherin and the Gryff...

* * *

**Chapter 2: The Slytherin and the Gryffindor, part one**

Saturday morning dawned bright and cold. This was the last Hogsmeade weekend for students before Christmas and I was scheduled to accompany them. I missed breakfast on purpose, intending to eat at one of the shops in the village. Unfortunately, I knew that Snape had also been scheduled to chaperone this excursion, and I wondered if there would still be any traces of his agreeable mood from last night. When I arrived outside, there was a large group of students eagerly waiting for me. I checked their names with the roster I had been provided, and then set off for a chilly but otherwise nice walk to Hogsmeade. Except for the Slytherins, all the students were really well behaved. I knew I would not be spying on them, as I was sure Snape would take care of that.

"Gorgeous day," I piped cheerily, as I entered the Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer to take the edge off my mild hangover. I sat at the bar sipping that lovely beverage while a familiar voice hissed out to me.

"At it again so soon, Kinsington? Is it Firewhiskey next?"

_Snape. Just what I need. _

"Morning, Professor Snape," I replied without looking at him.

"You were not at breakfast, so I assumed you had taken ill from the wine. It was a rather large bottle." He was using a low voice and I could tell he too had a bit of a hangover.

"Half a bottle of wine on an empty stomach is always an excellent idea, isn't it?" I retorted.

"Hm. Keep it down over there, Wood, this is not a Quidditch Pitch!" he fired angrily at a table containing some Gryffindor 6th years. "Twenty points from Gryffindor!"

"I should take twenty from Slytherin for your spoiling their good time. Unfortunately, my headache agrees with you," I said.

After we had both finished our butterbeers, he stood and prepared to leave asking, "Since you've not yet eaten, perhaps you will join me for lunch." He curled his upper lip in his usual manner.

_Well now, hath hell frozen over? _

Hastily weighing my options I asked, "Isn't it a bit early for lunch? It's only just 10."

"If you're not hungry a simple 'no' will suffice," he spat.

"Where do you suggest we go?" I knew by the look on his face that he had expected me to refuse his offer. I quickly added, "If the invitation still stands?"

"Well, Kinsington, it is a bit dodgy, but the food is more than acceptable at Bindor's Crook. It is directly across from Flourish and Blott's. I haven't much time. I also need to replenish some potion ingredients like...dried cat's blood."

"Dodgy sounds great. I like dodgy," I said with a wink.

I noticed Wood and his friends staring at us as we left. They probably thought Snape would try and kill me or something. So did I.

_Wonder what Snape's up to? I can only hope he has the decency to use Avada Kedavra. _

"Professor, do you think you could slow down a bit? I didn't wear my jogging shoes today," I complained, clutching the stitch in my side from the rushed walk in the freezing air.

"What's the matter, Kinsington? I thought you rather enjoyed running?"

That was a stinger. He meant it to be and did not slow his pace. I kept up even though my lungs were hurting from the December air. Thank gods we were finally there. The heat from the fire immediately thawed my frozen body. We took a table in a corner away from the other sinister patrons.

"Beef stew," he barked at the bar maid, "tea and whatever _she_ wants."

"I'll have the same, please. Lovely manners you've got there, Snape."

"I haven't time for such pleasantries," he snapped.

When the food arrived, I realized that I was truly hungry for the first time in ages. It smelled wonderful.

Snape was glaring at me while he spooned the stew into his mouth.

"You should try and eat the lot of it, Kinsington. You've lost quite a bit of weight."

It was true. I had been feeling depressed, not to mention terribly stressed out. My appetite had suffered a heavy blow. Just this morning, I had to wear a dress with a corset top that I could cinch up tightly, so it wouldn't hang sack-like on my emaciated form.

"I hadn't really noticed," I lied and began to eat the rich stew.

"Your course work has been satisfactory thus far. I will tell you that the reports you hand in are...the best I've seen. You may not be much of a potion maker, but you seem to know how to write." He said this all very fast and matter-of-factly. "You will begin second year lessons immediately. If you keep up, you may be able to finish the third year by the end of the summer. Assuming of course that you do not feel the need to re-circle the globe." He glared at me then.

"I am not going anywhere," I challenged. "You want me to take lessons all summer?"

"I was of the impression that you were serious about finishing your grade schooling! I am a very busy man. I thought that I could afford you several days a week, but if you'd rather squander your time, canoodling about like a silly child, than by all means stop wasting my time!" Anger was beginning to build and he was shouting at me.

"For your information, I do not 'canoodle about'! I am very serious about school and I appreciate your time!" I shouted in reply.

"We shall see," muttered Snape.

We ate without further discussion. I had the sudden urge to grab his greasy neck and squeeze the holy hell out of him! He slammed some money down on the table and managed to say, "I have business to attend. Good day, Miss Kinsington."

_Ass! _"Thanks for lunch," I shouted after him, but he pretended not to hear me. I hoped with all my heart that this was the beginning of a truce. It was much the way it had been years ago I recall...

* * *

I was now in the middle of my third year at Hogwarts and the Christmas Holidays were not far off. Dumbledore addressed us at dinner this night. "Students, as is the annual tradition, there will be a Yule Ball next Saturday evening. The banquet will begin at eight followed by the dance, which is open to all students in their 4th year and above. Younger students may attend if invited by an upper classmen. I expect a good turn out and fun times for all." 

_I have never been to a dance. Surely no one will ask me. _

I hoped secretly that Snape would ask me. We rarely ever said anything to one another, but maybe now things would be different. An excited chill swept up my spine as I fantasized about being in his arms, dancing the whole night through. I prayed each night about it before I went to sleep. Like all those before it, my prayer went unanswered.

_Sod it! _

I decided to do something outrageous. After Charms Friday morning, I did it. I looked at him with a great confidence and began, "Are you planning to attend the ball tomorrow, Mr. Snape?" He just stared at me. "If so, I would gladly like to accompany you," I said boldly.

He belched a malevolent laugh and announced at once, "You must be mad to think a baby Mudblood such as yourself could be considered an acceptable date."

Even though I was deeply hurt, I calmly replied, "I am mad, you know; raving in fact. Maybe next time then?" With that, I forced a wide smile, looked directly into his surprised eyes, and then sauntered off like a runway model. I felt proud no matter that he had refused me.

_One day it will be...I just know it! _

When the Ball approached my next year, I was true to the threat I had made. Once again, I caught him after class the day before the ball.

"Mr. Snape, will you go to the ball with me?" I asked formally. He was intrigued and his black eyes glimmered. "Well?"

He smiled with a fierce wildness about him and got directly in my face. "I thought I expressed myself rather clearly the last time you dared insult me?"

"Can't blame a girl for trying, can you? Later then...perhaps next year?" I breathed this answer all over his face before I slowly stepped away and left.

The next year, which was my fifth at Hogwarts, I asked him again. He refused. I was going with or without him to this one!

The night had arrived and I dressed, nervously examining myself in the long mirror in my dorm. I had chosen to wear a gown of pink silk, the color of a particularly sweet spring sunset. It was long and flowing, with a tightly fitted bodice to enhance the blossoming breasts that, I had only just noticed, were more than ample for a girl of fourteen. My curly, golden hair had grown slightly past my shoulders and I chose to put it up. A single, tiny pink rose behind my right ear was the only accessory that I bothered with. I had to admit to myself that I looked really pretty.

I joined a 6th year red-headed girl, who I had grown to rather like, by the name of Lily Evans. She and I waited in the common room for our friends to arrive. James Potter and his cronies Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, and Sirius Black arrived a few minutes later. We all left together for our evening of dancing. I knew that Severus hated these boys, particularly James and Sirius, and I wanted to really rub it in.

"My, my, Kinsington, don't you look ravishing tonight!" sang out Sirius, in his usual overconfident, flirtatious way. He was quite the Don Juan of Hogwarts. He was a very handsome boy, but I thought him ridiculous. "You will be dancing with me tonight won't you?"

"Thanks, but I don't think so," I replied.

"Oh, playing hard to get, are we? I love a good game! You'll be dancing with me before the music starts. You'll see." He smiled coyly and offered me his arm.

I rolled my eyes and walked on ahead of them, hearing Lily say, "Honestly Sirius, she's way too clever to fall for that. Have a go like that again and I wouldn't be surprised if she slaps you!"

The six of us sat at a small round table in the Great Hall, which was dimly lit by floating candles. All the tables that were normally there were gone. We began to eat and then Lucius Malfoy, accompanied by his usual gang of thugs, and to my delight, Severus Snape, approached the table.

"Mudblood party of six your table is now available!" Lucius called out, impersonating a maître d'. "Well, if it isn't the Muggle magician herself. Tell me again, Kinsington. Just how many others were there in the litter when you popped out your bitch of a mother? Oh, I remember now. The others were accidentally drowned at birth when your parents were attempting to wash you off them." He roared with laughter accompanied by his friends. All of them except Severus.

James, Sirius, and Lupin leapt to their feet brandishing their wands. "Say anything more and you'll never say anything again, you slimy little git!" Sirius threatened, jabbing his wand into Malfoy's neck, "I dare you!"

"So you've gone and found yourself a boyfriend. Or maybe the four of them pass you around for amusement!" Lucius sneered.

"That's it!" screamed Sirius as his raised his wand. At that time, Professor Dumbledore had joined the small crowd now surrounding us.

"That will be quite enough, gentlemen!" said the headmaster. All the boys put away their wands and retreated.

I was dazed by the spectacle of it all. Severus was still nearby when I said to Sirius, "Thanks, Sirius, but my mother isn't worth fighting about."

I retreated to a corner for most of the evening, glad that Severus had not joined them in their attack on me. I had to turn down a surprising number of invitations to dance that night, including the unceasing flirtations from Black. Whatever I was thinking I will never remember. Somehow, I ended up facing the gang of Slytherins yet again, this time on purpose.

"Excuse me, Severus. Would you care to dance?" I looked only at him not the others.

Laughing near hysterically, Malfoy slapped Severus on the back and said in amusement, "Did you hear that, Severus? She wants to dance with you!" Malfoy continued laughing. "You've got some nerve girl! I would almost admire you if you weren't so pathetic!"

"I wasn't asking you for your permission, Malfoy! I think Severus can decide for himself!" I yelled.

"How dare you speak to me!" roared Malfoy.

I had had enough! I lunged forward and slapped him hard across his hideous face.

WHACK!!!

Malfoy drew back his fist and swung forward, but Severus reached out and grabbed his arm. "If you hit her, Lucius, you'll be expelled!"

"It might be worth it! If you ever touch me with your filthy hands again I WILL KILL YOU!" bellowed Malfoy, now beyond reason with rage.

Sirius grabbed me from behind firmly by both arms and said, "You are dancing with me now!" He dragged me to the other side of the room, and I danced with him without even meaning to. "Are you mad, Ellie? What did you want going over there to that lot by yourself?"

All I could say was, "I don't know," for I no longer did.

I was really agonizing about going to Charms. I was sure that Malfoy would make my life miserable after what I did. Malfoy did not attack me; in fact he ignored to me. That terrified more than anything because I knew he was plotting against me.

That same week, Professor Grim, my Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher decided it was time I move on and join his 6th year class. Once again, I would have a class with the Slytherins. The 6th year students were allowed to duel in class as practice. In pairs of two, the students would face off. The winner would go on to the next person. I had never dueled before and was very nervous when I had to face the student that had taken on almost the entire class and won. Lucius Malfoy.

We bowed and took 5 paces each in opposite direction, turned, and began on the count of 3, 2, "_Inverte_" Malfoy shouted. I was knocked off my feet.

"_Stupefy_," I retorted, and he was struck still. I followed with, "_Expelliarmus_," which sent his wand flying.

When my spell had worn off, Snape handed Lucius his wand. He hit me with, "_Arachnia Stinga_." I was stung all over with large, angry whelps.

In unison we cried, "_Petrificus Totalis_!" This caused us both to fly back a good six feet or so.

He was angry now and yelled, "_Expelliarmus_," which sent my wand flying out of my hand, then it landed next to Snape. Then Malfoy did what he should not have done. He sent spells at me when I was disarmed. "_Mobulis Libras_!" Tons of heavy books flew at me from every direction slamming into me, making me scream out in pain. " Serpent Sortia Multiplicus ," he yelled almost immediately. This sent dozens of venomous snakes flying and slithering at me simultaneously.

My rage had taken over. Still wand-less, I yelled words I had never known, " Samuria et in corpus ," making a motion with my hands. Two thin steel swords materialized in my hand. Automatically, I leapt into the air, slicing and beheading the snakes, spinning around ninja-like, and pinning the last two snakes to the platform with my swords. The blades disappeared and I pointed my hand at Malfoy yelling, "_Expelliarmus_!" Blue light emanated from my hand and disarmed him.

The entire class stood astounded, with their eyes unnaturally wide and jaws dropped to the floor. I had just now realized what I had done and jumped down from the platform to retrieve my wand. Snape snatched it up and studied it. Everyone was talking excitedly.

"Give me my wand," I demanded of Snape.

"This isn't a wand!" He snapped it in half and looked terrified. He examined the inside of the pieces then whipped them at me. "There is nothing in there! It is just a stick!"

"No! That was my wand, the one I've always used!" I shrieked in disbelief, as I too saw the truth of his words.

"You're a Sorceress!!! My Lord, you're a Sorceress!!! But you're a Muggle-born?" Snape yelled, terrified at his revelation.

"No, I'm a witch! What are you saying?" I had no idea what he was talking about.

"You can't be!" he said horrified, backing away from me.

I ran from the room, no longer able to breathe or comprehend what they were saying about me.

"Dumbledore!!! Professor Dumbledore!!! What do they mean?"...

* * *

I snapped back to reality when the bar maid came to my table. 

"You look like you are somewhere else, Miss."

"Sorry, I was just thinking." I left straight away.

_Where shall I go? _

I decided on the book store down the street a bit. Other than the owner, I had the store to myself.

"Excuse me, Sir? Where do you keep the really old books about natural magic?"

"It's Tibbs, Miss, and those books are upstairs near the back, opposite the fireplace. Is there anything specific I can help you find?" asked the sweet looking old wizard.

"No, not really. I'm just curious. I'm Ellie Kinsington, Tibbs. I teach at Hogwarts."

"Well, Miss Ellie, mind you watch that last step. It's a bit tricky."

I smiled warmly and replied, "Thanks, Tibbs."

The second floor was dusty, dimly lit, and absolutely jam-packed with books. I mean floor to ceiling! It took an hour just to find anything close to the subject I was searching for. Then it caught my eye. The "Magic of Olde" was a large red book, with thick gold lettering and a black dragon-hide spine. I opened the cover to check the contents.

My face was staring back at me on the first page. I was wearing a crown and my hair was considerably longer, but it was definitely me.

_Is this some sort of enchantment? Does everyone see themselves on this page? _

I ran my hand across the page and the image vanished to reveal the table of contents. It was a book on sorcery written nearly 1500 years ago!

"Excellent," I proclaimed aloud.

I sat cross-legged on the dusty old floor beside the fire, and pulled the book onto my lap. The book was mesmerizing. I simply could not stop looking at it.

"AHHH!" I screamed loudly. "Damn it, Severus! You scared the wits out of me!"

"That is painfully obvious," he said while massaging his ears, a scowl on his lips. "What are you doing up here?"

"Do you mean other than having a heart attack? I was looking for something and I believe I have found it. What are you doing up here?" I snapped.

"Looking for something. I believe I have also been successful." I think he was referring to me. "It is time to escort the students back to the castle. You are late."

"What time is it? I only just sat down."

"It is quarter past four. Hurry and make your purchase! You should have been ready to leave 15 minutes ago." I could hear the annoyance in his voice. I had been reading for over 4 hours and hadn't even noticed.

"Right then." I struggled to get up from the floor since the enormously heavy book was on my lap.

"Allow me to assist." He snatched the book from my lap impatiently. I stood up and stretched a bit. "Will you be moving before sundown, or shall summon a blanket?"

"Ha, ha, very funny. I'll hurry, all right?" We descended the stairs and I went to the counter to pay for the book. "I'll take this one please, Tibbs." I pulled out my money bag, noticing that all I had was Muggle money. "I don't suppose you'll take this?"

"I am afraid I wouldn't know what to do with it, Miss Ellie. You could pay me for it next time if you like. I was a student at Hogwarts myself once. But that was many years ago," Tibbs said kindly.

"That won't be necessary." Snape took out his own money bag and brandished several galleons.

_That's a surprise! _

"Thank you, Professor Snape. Thanks again, Tibbs."

"I hope to see you soon, Miss Ellie. Have a Happy Christmas!" That kindly old man shook my hand, grinning from ear to ear.

Snape practically shoved me out of the store and up the street to the group of students waiting for us.

"I can pay you back as soon as we return. All my wizarding money is in my rooms. Tell me something, what do you see?" I opened the book to the first page where I had seen my royal self earlier and handed it to him.

"The table of contents. What else is there on the first page of a book of this size?" He slammed the book shut and thrust it back to me, seeming quite annoyed.

"Nothing, it's just that earlier I could have sworn that I saw...never mind."

The walk back was considerably colder than the one we had taken earlier. Everyone was moving in haste. The book weighed a good hundred pounds, well actually more like thirty, but none the less it began to slow me down. I needed a break. We were back on school grounds with less than five minutes walking left, but I had to stop. "Go on ahead I just need to catch my breath," I gasped, releasing the book from my arms and letting it fall to the ground.

Snape stopped to look at me and then kept going. I was really dizzy and the ground was beginning to spin before my eyes. I propped myself up against a large rock and tried to breathe regularly. Before I knew it, I was on the ground unconscious. Snow was beginning to fall and the icy flakes on my cheeks were successful in waking me. I sat up a little with my head still swimming.

"Kinsington, what are you doing down there? If you need a nap, I suggest you wait until you get to your rooms." A very testy Snape was standing over me.

_Of all the nerve! Leave me be, you surly bastard! _

"I just got a bit light-headed is all. Go on, I'm fine."

"Hmm, yes. You're in excellent condition." His voice was rich with sarcasm. "_Wingardium Leviosa_." The book lifted up and hovered at his eyelevel. "Are you able to stand?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute." Using the rock, I pried myself from the ground and eventually to my feet. I got up way too fast. "Uhm, maybe not." I sat back down on the rock. He grabbed my left arm firmly and pulled me up again. I grabbed his arm with my right hand to steady myself. "Thanks, I can surely make it now."

_Could he squeeze my arm any harder? _

"Perhaps you should visit Madam Pomfrey before going to dinner," he suggested curtly while we walked slowly toward the castle.

"That won't be necessary, Professor. I think I shall just go to my rooms and lie down. I need to get you your galleons anyway."

_I sure as hell don't want to be indebted to you. _

"Whatever you say." He ushered me to my door and released me.

"_Recipre Incantatem_." At my words, the book was now levitating under my control. I guided it to my table and then went to my dresser to get the money. "Here you are. Thank you for all your help today."

He pocketed the gold and asked, "Aren't you coming to dinner?"

"No. As I said before, I just need to lie down."

"Maybe if you would not neglect your meals so often this would not happen," he accused.

"I appreciated your advice, but I am quite fine, really." Actually, I felt terrible.

"Have it your way then." And with that, he left.

* * *

I awoke sometime around eleven the next morning. I got up and took a quick bath, then changed into my robes for lunch. Snape wasn't there; neither was Dumbledore. I ate half a sandwich and was very full. 

_This is ridiculous. I shall have to procure a whole new wardrobe if this keeps up. _

I forced down a cup of vegetable soup to spite myself.

_To the library it is. _

Reports had to be finished for Snape and I had papers to grade for my own students. All afternoon I labored until my jobs were done. It was seven already.

"I'll be damned if I haven't missed dinner again! What an idiot!" I said out loud.

"Yes, I rather agree," replied a silky voice. "The Headmaster asked me to find you. He thought you might be here." Snape had his arms crossed over his chest, looking like a father who had just discovered his child misbehaving.

"Does he need to see me?"

"He wanted to make sure you that hadn't passed out on the lawn again."

"You told him?" I asked.

"No, he saw me dragging you in last night. He said he has not seen you all day."

"I overslept breakfast and Dumbledore wasn't at lunch," I explained.

"You could use some tea." Snape seemed to be sizing me up. "I was just about to have some myself. You may join me in my office, if you desire."

_Two invitations in less than 48 hours? I really should read the Prophet to see about Hell's weather! _

"Tea is an excellent idea. Let me gather my things. Here," I held out the reports, "you might as well take them now. There's no sense in my carrying them all over the school twice. I need to go to my classroom and put these in my cabinet, and then I'll meet you in your office."

"Do not wait until it is cold!" He snapped. The billowing black robes disappeared from view and I set off to my classroom.

Ten minutes later I was at his office doors, knocking softly.

"Enter."

"Do I smell raspberries?" I asked as I walked to the table to get a cup of tea.

"Your observational skills are astounding," he said dryly. "It is Raspberry tea with chamomile and pepper, to be exact."

"Pepper?"

"Yes, Miss Kinsington, pepper! Perhaps Poppy should check your hearing."

"Charming, aren't you?" I nearly bit my tongue off to keep the insults from flying out of my mouth. "I just find it a bit odd."

"I will not force you to drink it! I brew potions for a living! I think you could trust me to make a simple pot of tea."

_Nothing with you is ever simple, Severus! _

I apprehensively sipped the tea and to my surprise, "Delicious. I don't even need honey or sugar."

He winced at the thought of my adding something to his little masterpiece. "You'll find that not everything has to be sickly sweet to be palatable. Are you going to stand there all nigh, or will you take a seat?"

I flopped down on the floor by the fire and leaned against the chair.

"You seem to enjoy sitting on the ground, Kinsington. Or are you simply saving yourself the trouble of a fall when you pass out again?"

"This is just more relaxing. If it bothers you so profoundly I will get into the chair," I snapped.

"_You_ are what bothers me profoundly, Kinsington. Don't bother to get up!"

"Really? Why did you invite you me here then? You have plenty of opportunities to berate me during the week, or are five days no longer enough?" I fired angrily.

"Professor Dumbledore thought it would be wise to see to it that someone made sure you were well. It is my opinion that you are not, even though you make claims to the contrary."

"Listen, Snape, I have a lot on my mind lately and I just get a little distracted. I have so many responsibilities and very little time. I know you understand because you are constantly working yourself. The holiday next week will do me some good. I just need a few days to catch up and clear my head."

"I should think that _fourteen years_ would have more than ample," he hissed firing those black eyes at me.

"What is it you think I have been doing all these years? Hopping around the world like a tourist, sunning it on the beach and lazing about in five star hotels? If so, then you are gravely mistaken!" I was starting to get worked up and I was feeling very panicky. I got up and walked across the room to get more tea.

"I don't care where it is you've been, or what you've been doing! You will not speak to me about this! How dare you think I would waste my thoughts on you!" His words were so full of hatred.

I felt like dying just then because my heart had been broken for so long.

"You needn't be so cruel, Professor. I already know that you hate me. But you will find that I have loathed myself far longer, and more intensely, than you could ever dream of." My voice sounded devoid of any traces of anger. I sounded more like the ghost of a woman haunted by herself.

I placed the teacup gently down. I spoke very slowly and very deliberately, "I have been alone all my life; every day, every miserable hour. I have searched the world over and over. What for? I have nothing and I don't care anymore. I am drained of it, and I just don't care anymore."

I walked out the door and all the way to my rooms. Tears were long since obsolete and my anguish inexpressible. I changed into a nightgown, brushed my hair, crawled into bed, and hoped never to wake. When I slept, I saw The Guardians waiting for me. I heard the screams of terror echo all around me as I fought for my life.

Severus was not at my left as I ate breakfast the first day of the last week before break. He was not at lunch or dinner either. When I went to his dungeon for my lesson, it was like it was before. I prepared my potions and left to go to the library, never looking or speaking to him. The rest of the week played out; everyday exactly like the one before. The Holiday arrived and I packed my things and set off for London. I just needed to get away. As I stepped into the carriage, I saw him watching from behind a window in the Great Hall.

_I will come back this time. I am not running anymore. _

I wonder if he thought to come after me?

* * *

I came back to the castle on the Hogwarts Express with the of the students. When I got back, I decided to go to Gryffindor tower and see if anyone needed any help settling in. 

"Excuse me, Miss Kinsington, but would you mind if we join you? There isn't anywhere else," asked Hermione politely. The common room was full except for the table at which I was sitting.

"I would love the company," I replied.

"Malfoy has the whole of the library full of his creepy friends and Filch is chasing people out of the hallways, trying to strip search anyone who he thinks looks suspicious," Ron said shaking his head.

"Malfoy is such a prick! Er, um, sorry, Miss Kinsington," Harry apologized.

They were surprised when I laughed. I suppose they were expecting me to take points. "I quite agree, Harry, don't worry. I think you can all call me Ellie since we are not in class. We needn't be so formal."

They definitely looked a little relieved. "Thanks Miss...I mean, Ellie," said Harry.

"No worries. Honeydukes best, anyone? I have loads of it." I offered the chocolate to all, each one taking some.

"Ellie," began Ron, "did you go to school with Harry's mum and dad?"

"Really, Ron, couldn't you swallow first?" Hermione said rolling her eyes.

"Bugger off, Hermione! You sound like my mum!"

I giggled then answered, "Yes, Ron, I did." I looked at Harry, who was looking at me with interest. "I was a year behind them. Your parents were some of the only friends I had at school. I spent most of my time alone."

"You knew Snape then too?" Ron said curling his lips, "Sorry for that."

"Did you know my parents after Hogwarts?" Harry asked hopefully.

"No, Harry, I am sorry to say that I did not. I left in bit of a hurry during my 6th year, which is why I am still a student. I know everything that happened," I said gently to Harry. "I was in America at the time in college."

"You went to Harvard, didn't you? I bet you learned loads!" Hermione said excitedly.

"Yes, but I have learned far more everywhere else." She looked appalled by this. "Books can only take you so far. Sometimes you have to look elsewhere to really learn."

"You see, Hermione, books aren't everything," Ron teased. "So if you're a year younger than Harry's parents, then you're..."

"Ron! That's rude!" Hermione scolded.

"Actually, I am almost two years younger, Ron, because I started Hogwarts when I was ten." They were impressed with this. "I don't mind if you do the math because I am glad not to be a kid anymore." I smiled. "I'm not so old, just you wait."

"You must have been really good then. No one ever gets in that young," said Hermione. "Why ever did you leave, Ellie?"

"Now who's being rude?" asked Ron.

"Things were...different then. But this time, I'm not going anywhere and shall finish what I started." They understood that I intended to go no further with this. "Oh, I forgot. I was supposed to meet with Dumbledore when I got back. I have to go. As long as no one else is around, the lot of you can still call me Ellie, okay?"

"Thanks for sharing your chocolate and all," said Harry.

"Bye," the others chimed.

_They will all know soon enough. _

At dinner that night, Severus looked astonished that I had in fact returned.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" he hissed at me.

"I found it a long time ago." I wonder if he understood that I meant him. "But I can never seem to take hold of it." No more needed to be said. I knew he was livid as he sat at my left in silence. I was overwhelmed again by the memories that flooded my head...

* * *

After running wildly from that horrific dueling scene, I arrived at Dumbledore's office. The staircase opened for me upon my arrival. 

"Good afternoon, Ellie. I have been expecting you. Please have a seat." I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. "Do you know what a Sorceress is, Ellie?" I shook my head no. "First, I must explain that The Guardians are Squibs and not Muggles, as I no doubt think you believe. Do you know what I mean by a Squib?"

I nodded, knowing that Squibs were born of magic but are not magical themselves.

_Why didn't they tell me? _

"Before there where witches and wizards, there were Sorcerers. The very beginning of magic; pure natural magic, neither dark nor good, unfathomable and ancient. You are of that magic, Ellie. You are made of it."

"Professor Dumbledore, what are you trying to say? I don't understand."

"It will be alright. You are a Sorceress, Ellie, not a witch. You do not need a wand for your magic like the other students here. I arranged for Mr. Ollivander to make a special wand for you to use. I thought it would be easier for you that way. I had to let you discover the truth for yourself. I did not intend for you to find out the way you did. Nonetheless, it has happened," he paused, "Let it happen naturally, Ellie, don't fight it. You are more powerful that you can imagine. Within you lies the beginning."

"The beginning of what?" I wept weakly, begging for the key to all of this. "I-It just happened without me even thinking... that light from my hand... the swords out of nowhere. What is this inside me?"

"I cannot tell you, for only you can know. Trust me, it will come to you in due time." That was all he could say to me then. "You should go and get some rest. I will have your dinner sent to your common room. I know you don't want company right now, but I have asked your prefect to walk with you to your room. Lily is waiting for you just outside my office. She is alone and will not pry. Come to me anytime, Ellie, though I may not have what you seek." I nodded 'ok' and got up to go find Lily.

Lily put her arm around my shoulder and smiled at me. "Let's go and have some dinner, Ellie. I know you must be hungry."

She led me back to the Gryffindor common room, which was empty. We ate by the window quietly. "You are special, Ellie. I like you very much and so do James and his friends. If you ever need anything, we will be there for you." I could tell she really meant it. "No one can possibly understand what you are going through, but I know what it's like to have a family who is of no help. I am the only witch in my family, you know. I'm a Muggle-born."

"I am not witch," I whispered quietly and got up to go to bed.

I stayed in my bed the entire weekend. I did not go to classes for two days and I ate in the common room alone.

"There you are, Ellie. I was beginning to worry about you. Thought you might have left," said Lupin, smiling warmly. "Professor Dumbledore thought you should return to your lessons today. I know you don't want to, but you must try."

"Are you afraid of me?" I asked him desperately.

"Not in the least. Tonight you and I should take a walk, just the two of us. I have something to share with you. A secret of my own that only James, Sirius and Peter know about. I think it will help. So, meet me outside near Hagrid's cabin around eight, all right? Don't tell anyone." I nodded as he led me to my charms class. "See you tonight."

I practically crawled into my seat next to Snape while looking down at my parchment and books. That is when Malfoy called to me quietly, "Oy, Ellie!" I did not look up. "Kinsington...hey! Sorry I called you a Mudblood."

I was taken aback and whipped my head to look at him. I could swear he meant it!

Malfoy continued by saying, "The hat was wrong, you know. You should be a Slytherin. We are all purebloods."

_Is he for real? Malfoy? He must be mental!!!_

Severus was looking at me now.

Professor Flitwick asked a question and I wrote the answer on my parchment.

That is when Severus whispered, "Raise your hand, Kinsington, or I will do it for you."

I looked at him to see what was in his eyes. It was respect not fear. I raised my hand and all eyes were on me.

_Well, here goes. _

"Yes, Miss Kinsington. Speak up dear," Professor Flitwick said.

For the first time in all my life I felt strong. Since I had everyone's attention, I stood up to answer.

"The book is wrong, Professor. The spell can indeed be performed."

I walked to the front of the room. There were whispers all about the class. "No one has been successful in performing it because they have not seen it with their own eyes. Wizards are afraid of it, you know, because it is displays such colossal power."

_Should I do it? I know I can... I have no doubts...it is all very clear. _

"Are you quite certain, Miss Kinsington? I have never heard of such," the Professor asked.

"Oh, yes. I can see it." I closed my eyes while raising my hands slowly out in front of me, palms forward. I inhaled deeply and slowly, breathing in the world around me.

"It's everywhere, you know...magic, I mean." I opened my eyes and whispered in an echo, "_infinitum des aqueous_..." The glass within the frames of the mammoth windows vibrated and hummed, shattering into shards by the thousands.

"_Leviosum a me en totalium_..." The shards levitated, seeming to quiver "..._convertite des aqueous_..." I closed my hands and turned my fists in toward myself, hurling them up into the air, then dropping them at once, opening my hands. The shards condensed to liquid and splashed to the floor with a thunderous downpour.

I heard gasps of amazement and continued, "_...aqueous, medeleote... et a me..._" I raised my hands above my head, palms down, and I flung them at the empty window frame. The liquid rose from the ground and, is if instantly frozen, became solid shards again. The pieces flew back to the window frame. It was like watching a puzzle piece by piece but all at once, until the glass was whole again. I lowered my arms. My trance had ended.

"Miraculous!!!" Flitwick gasped, his eyes wide open.

I sighed, looking over my left shoulder to see Severus in his seat. He was blown away; they all were.

"I never would have believed it had I not just seen it! Extraordinary, Ellie! Extraordinary!" Flitwick was speaking as if he had just seen the dead wake. "I am speechless!"

The Slytherins all stood applauded and cheering emphatically.

_I recognize it now; it's all becoming very clear. _

I felt it inside and everywhere all around me. Energy, magic from everywhere!

"Now that's magic!" Malfoy cheered. He looked at Severus then whispered something in his ear. Severus looked at me with pride.

_He saw me! He really saw me!  
_

* * *

It seemed like another lifetime ago. How young I had been. I was now walking to my rooms for the night. I decided to read some more of the old, red book. "There it is again," I said aloud. The contents had been replaced by the image of me again. My picture raised a finger to her lips, as if to hush me. She smiled secretively and turned around, beckoning me with her finger to follow. I watched myself walk away and I saw things appear, as if I was watching a movie. 

I saw the sun rise above the mountains shrouded in a haze of misty clouds. The sun became the moon and the clouds faded to stars. I swept my hand across the page and felt the cold of night. It felt as though I was rising above it all, almost like I was I was looking down on the earth from far beyond. There was a loud knock on my door and the images disappeared to reveal the table of contents. Flabbergasted, I leapt up from the book at once.

"What in the world just happened?" I said quietly screwing up my face in confusion. The loud knock filled the room again.

I opened the door. "Severus."

He looked me in the eyes a long time before speaking. "Now that you have returned we need to set a few things straight," he said coldly, striding into my room.

I closed the door him watching him move to the fire. "Do come in won't you?" I said sarcastically.

"Is there any tea?" he spat, taking a seat on the bench.

"I wasn't expecting to entertain this evening! Let me go and fetch it for you," I fired angrily. He fired his dark eyes at me. I went to brew some tea in the next room and came back in about ten minutes later. "This is all I have at hand. Shall I get you some pepper?"

"That won't be necessary." He took a sip made a face of disgust.

I was annoyed at his silence. "What is it that you want, Severus? I was in the middle of something just now and..."

"Silence!" he flared. He continued to drink. "Why did you come back to Hogwarts? How do you dare show your face to me after all this time?"

"You are asking me this now? You made it rather clear that I was not to speak of it, ever. What do you want me to say? After college..."

"America, Italy, France, Africa! I've heard all about your twelve year odyssey!" he interrupted in a rage. "Before college, the two years _before_ you went to America! That is where the trail runs cold!"

That was a time I dare not speak of, not even myself. I was suddenly very afraid. "No, there was nothing before that! Nothing! I...I...there was nothing!" I screamed in hysteria.

He jumped up ran to me angrily, forcefully grabbing my arms shaking me as he spoke, "WHY DO YOU LIE TO ME?"

"Severus, let go of me! You're hurting me!"

Still holding on to me he continued, "Answer me!"

"NO!" I screamed shrilly, "LET ME GO, NOW! Why are you doing this to me? How can you hate me so?"

"FOR HEANENS SAKE, WOMAN!"

_He's lost his bloody mind! _

He stopped yelling, but did not release me from his vice-grip. He held my arms for what seemed like forever, just glaring at me. . He grabbed my face with one hand, still tightly holding my arm with his other, and kissed me with frenzied, demanding passion. I felt my legs go weak my love for him consumed me.

_Lord in heaven! _

He released my arm and took me into his into his rough embrace. Suddenly, as if realizing what he had done, he shoved me away and stared at me as if I had just slapped him. He shook his head and ran out the door.

Still breathless, I trembled as I stood where he had left me. I hadn't felt his lips on mine in over fourteen years. The man I had loved all my life, and with all my being, had taken me in his embrace after a separation of infinite darkness. I cried the first real tears of my adult life that night. Of all the things for which I had ever prayed, I prayed harder that I could end it all. If I could just feel it slip away, release myself from this torment.

_I can't take it another day like this! Not one more miserable day! _

"It was always you, Severus. It was always you."

I don't remember passing out that night. Hell, I don't remember getting into bed. All I remember is his eyes. I remember seeing his eyes.

* * *


	3. Chapter Three: The Slytherin and the Gry...

* * *

**Chapter 3: The Slytherin and the Gryffindor, Part Two**

I woke slowly that morning, opening my eyes and knowing I was still alive. I just lay there for hours unable to think straight. My mind was vacant, as was my soul. Hours and hours, later I sat bolt upright in bed.

_Shit! I have to teach today!_

Without noticing anything around me I walked to my classroom, dressed in the same clothing I had worn yesterday. "Class has been canceled today. Go about your business," I spoke numbly to my class. The puzzled students left as I sat behind my desk and stared out the window.

"Excuse me, Miss Kinsington, but is anything the matter?" Hermione asked with care.

"It's nothing, Hermione; I just need some time alone. Thank you for asking. Now go on with your friends and have some fun."

"It's odd, you know. This is the second class today that's been cancelled." I looked up at her questioningly. "Professor Snape was particularly vile in potions this morning. He threw the lot of us out in the middle of class."

"Did he? Well perhaps you should report him to the Headmaster. It is about time someone gave him a taste of his own poison." I sounded very wicked and this shocked Hermione.

"Right then, I'll just go to the library and get started on Arithmancy."

When she had gone, I slammed my fist on the desk and exclaimed, "Damn it all to hell!" I went to my room until after dinner, debating on whether or not I should bother to go to my private Potions lesson. I went.

"You're late," he complained.

"So I am." I started working on my potion. "You're out of slugs."

"So I am," he replied.

"What do you suggest that I do then?" I asked angrily.

"Whatever you like, so long as it's not in here!"

"You really are a git, you know that!"

If anger were a color, I would have described it as 'Snape-red'. He yelled, "And you are an insufferable fool!"

"Maybe so, but at least I know it!" I roared.

"You know nothing! Get out now, or I shall physically remove you!"

"I'd like to see you try!" I challenged.

"Would you?" He stood up and pointing his wand at me.

"Don't you point that thing at me! Put it down this instant or I'll take it from you!"

"I would like to see you try!"

I raised my hand and pointed it at him. "Would you?"

He laughed, "What are you going to do, change me into a tea cozy?"

"Don't test me, Severus! I am not child anymore and I'm not afraid of you!"

He lowered his wand and I lowered my hand. "You should be," he said in a voice so evil that I doubted it was his. "Come back tomorrow and there will be slugs. Go on, out with you!"

"If you ever point that wand at me again I'll cram it down your miserable throat!" I shouted and left.

Weeks later I told him I would not be coming to my lesson on Friday night. He did not object. I needed to get out of the castle in a bad way.

On Friday, I dressed in Muggle clothes, which consisted of low sitting black pants and a slutty black top, that showed my stomach, as well as a good deal of my cleavage. I threw on a black cloak and boots and set off for the Hogshead Saloon in Hogsmeade on my broomstick.

_I'm getting completely pissed tonight!_

Upon arrival, I marched directly to the bar and demanded, "If you've got Tequila, I shall take the bottle." I took a long pull off the bottle and slammed down several galleons, saying to the barman, "When this is done, I'll take a beer. Any beer as long as it's cold." I took another tug off the bottle and announced, "Here's to the bottom!"

Several hours and several sheets to the wind later, I noticed I was no longer alone at the bar.

"How long've you been here," I slurred to the Potions Master.

"Long enough to know that the bottle was full when you started."

"How very astute of you." I started on the beer that the barman had just slid to me. "Spying on me, are you?"

"One need not be stealthy to see the spectacle you've made of yourself." Snape looked at the beer in my hand and inquired, "Are you sure you should be drinking that?"

"I am sure that I should not, therefore I am." It made perfect sense to me at the time.

"Charming." He snarled and then took a shot of Firewhiskey. "Another," he barked at the barman.

_Merlin, I haven't been this shit-faced drunk since that keg party in college when I danced on the table at that frat house._

"Thank the Muggles for booze!" I sang out and sipped, or shall I say slopped, my beer. "Why don't you join me, Professor, in a little toast?"

After shooting his drink he retorted, "I believe you are toasted enough for the both us, Kinsington."

"Always so clever. Tut, tut, tut. You should learn to loosen up a bit, Professor." He opened his mouth to say something but I spoke first, "Ah, don't say it…don't even go there."

Snape eyed me from head to toe, looking aghast. "What in the bloody hell have you got on, Kinsington?"

"Why?" I said coyly, standing up and spinning around so he could have a good look, "Do you like it?"

"Every wizard in this bar likes it, Kinsington! Have you come looking for a companion to warm your sheets?"

_Is that jealousy in his voice? You are such an ass, Snape!_

"How dare you!" I yelled offended, "I came here to get drunk and nothing more!"

"Well you have definitely succeeded! Perhaps I should see you home now before you get yourself in trouble. You are in no condition to fly, as you would surely break your neck."

"I should think that you would like that," I snapped.

"Kinsington, you are leaving with me now!"

"I'll do no such thing! Just who in the hell do you think you are? I can take care of myself!"

Every word I said only fueled the fire of his rage. "It is a long walk! It is unsafe for a woman such as you to do it alone. It is well past midnight, and you are well past wasted! Now come on, before you get yourself thrown out!"

"Why the hell do you care?" I asked. "Just bugger off!"

"What you seem to be forgetting is that your behavior is representing Hogwarts! I refuse to allow you to sully my reputation! Now get moving!"

_Oh, please! Your reputation!_

I thought about it for a minute and I agreed to go with him. I staggered out of the bar like a sailor on shore leave. "Compose yourself!" Severus scolded when I nearly caused us both to fall down. I began laughing uncontrollably and straightened up, putting on my cloak. "Left, right, left, right…easy does it," he directed.

We reached the woods and began to climb uphill. This was the most difficult walk I could ever remember. After ten minutes I said, "Hold on there, drill sergeant. I have to stop for a while." I nearly fell as I attempted to sit on a tree stump.

"Really, Kinsington, if you can't hold your drink, you should probably exercise some restraint next time." He seated himself next to me on the large stump.

"We all can't be as sensible as you, Severus."

"You could have had any of those wizards at the bar, you know," he said in dangerous tone.

"Excuse me?"

"You may be rather daft at times, but you are still a very beautiful woman, Kinsington."

I looked at him in drunken amazement.

_Did he just say I was beautiful?_

"Thank you, Severus. I had no idea you thought so."

"Even a blind man could see it," Snape muttered. "I am rather surprised that you aren't married by now with a gaggle of children." He sounded angry.

_How exactly does one respond to a statement like that?_

"Well I'm not, am I?"

Something he said had struck a nerve causing my happy buzz from earlier had to fade. I looked away from him and off into the thick of the woods that surrounded us. We were quiet for a while.

Hesitantly I continued, "I never went looking for anyone. Anyway, I am not the marrying kind really. I am not sure that anyone would want to marry me, even if I were the type." What I told him next, I had never told anyone since I found out. "I can't ever have children. That alone would send most marrying men away."

I looked back at him to gauge his interest. "There was some… unpleasantness, shortly after I left Hogwarts. I have never told anyone, you know. Funny how it's the one thing in my life that I know with certainty." We sat quietly again for a while. "Let's go back now, I'm getting cold." I stood up and waited for him to also rise.

"Yes, it is nearly three in the morning," he agreed somberly.

Snape offered me his arm and together we walked arm and arm back to the castle. He let go of me as we entered the castle.

"If you can manage, come by my office when you 'come to' in the morning. I will give you something for the hangover you will no doubt have."

"You have a potion for that?"

"I have a potion for nearly everything."

"I doubt it will be the morning, but I have a feeling I'll be needing that potion. I really did sauce it up tonight, didn't I?" I knew that when woke I was going to pay.

"That is an understatement," he muttered. "Goodnight, or shall I say good morning?"

"The latter I think. Severus…about what I mentioned earlier…"

"I am discreet." He didn't have to say it. I already knew he would never say a word to anyone. "Maybe at a later date we will discuss it further. If I had known I never would have mentioned…"

"You couldn't have known, Severus. It's all right, really. I know you meant nothing by it."

"Nevertheless, I apologize. I shall See you tomorrow."

"Okay. Goodnight." I wanted so badly to kiss him right then and there. "Sleep well," I added. He nodded and left and I went to bed. I felt like I was getting my best friend back again. We used to talk about everything. I remember when we were students...

* * *

My fifth year at Hogwarts was getting better every day. Since my rather brazen exhibition of power a few weeks earlier, I found myself to be quite popular with the Slytherins. None of them dared insult me for fear of what I might do to them. It was more than that though. Since the revelation that I was not in fact a Muggle-born, they seemed to accept me as one of their own. 

In Charms one day, as we were all practicing advanced summoning charms, Severus asked me, "Would you like some help preparing for your O.W.L.'s? They are most difficult, particularly Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"What sort of help?"

"I could show you the books in the library which I found to be most useful. And of course there are the practical examinations. Even _you_ will need someone to practice with."

"Are they really all that bad?" I asked. "Even Malfoy got top marks."

Snape crossed his arms over his chest and replied, "Whom do you think helped him prepare?"

"Uhm, well okay. But if you try and curse me, I will blast you to smithereens."

"I shall take that into consideration," muttered Snape. "We can begin tomorrow in the library while I am on duty there, from eight until midnight. Come around nine, most students will be in their dorms by then. We shouldn't have many distractions."

That thought greatly appealed to me. "Fifth years have to be back in their dorms by ten."

Snape almost grinned when he remarked, "Oh, I forget sometimes that you are so young."

"I'm not that young, Severus, I am fourteen. That's hardly a baby!" I huffed.

"You're only just fourteen? But it is near the end of the year. Fifth years are usually turning sixteen by now."

"I was ten when I started here, but I thought you knew that?"

"Kinsington, you are full of surprises, aren't you?" There was a rather pronounced look of amusement on his face. "Well, come earlier then and be prepared to work. I have studies of my own to worry about."

"Alright, I'll be ready," I promised.

We studied in the library three hours a night, three times a week, and practiced dueling every Saturday. We generally spent all day together on Saturdays. It wasn't long before our conversations turned to more casual subjects.

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" I asked him.

"No. Do you?"

"No. I always wanted a sister though. Thought she might come in useful from time to time," I answered.

Snape casually asked, "Do you live in London with your parents?"

"The Guardians and I live just outside it in Gregory Arms Square. They own the electronics factory there. Do you know where it is?"

"Yes, I do." His dark eyebrow arched while he cross- examined me, "Why do you refer to them as 'The Guardians'?"

"I always have. Sir and Madam prefer it that way."

"I see. I take it you're not close with them then?"

"Not at all!" I said emphatically. "I hate going back there on holidays. I much prefer it here."

"I agree."

"They're...really dreadful," I continued, "I am surprised they wanted children at all. Most of their business associates think I am just a houseguest or something. They always seem surprised to meet me."

He probed further, "That's a bit odd don't you think?"

"Very odd. I would be quite proud of my children. It's not like I am much of a bother because I am hardly there anyway. I get top marks, I don't cause trouble, and I have manners when I need them. Things will be different when I'm a mum. I shall parade my children about like they are rare treasures!"

"I take it that you want children some day, Kinsington. How many will you have?"

"Oh, at least two. I think being an only child is miserable."

"Do you think they'd be like you? Sorcerers, I mean?" he asked.

"I hope not."

"Why is that?"

"Well, I am something of a freak. I don't want my children to feel that way," I replied.

"You should be proud of what you are. You are the first Sorceress in three hundred years."

"I didn't know. So you mean I am the only one? There aren't any others?"

"You really don't know, do you? Fascinating….you mean all this time at Hogwarts, you really thought you were a witch? You weren't just keeping it a secret?" he asked quite surprised.

"I found out the day of the duel with Malfoy. Apparently my instincts took over when he attacked me with those book and snakes. It was totally an accident, I swear." I raised my right hand and put it over my heart like I was pledging an oath.

"Unbelievable…and that day in charms with the glass, where did you learn that?"

I thought about it for a moment. "I haven't a clue. I had read about it in the book, but when I stood up, I just knew it. It was like someone was whispering in my ear, telling me what to do."

"That is sort of spooky, Kinsington, do you hear voices?"

"No, of course not! It is rather spooky though. Do I… scare you Severus." I raised my arms like a fake Halloween ghost and mocked, "Ooooooooo." I started laughing and rolled over on my side in the grass where we were sitting.

"Oh yes, utterly petrified. You know, Ellie, I have never seen you laugh like that before?"

"You know, Severus, you have never used my first name before." I joked, but it was quite true.

"Hm, yes. You should try smiling more often; it makes your face far more…pleasant."

"Oh thank you, Severus. How very pleasant of you." I was still smiling very broadly.

"Snape, Kinsington! We're going into Hogsmeade! Get off your lazy ends and come with us!" yelled Malfoy from across the way. "Last one there's a Gryffindor!"

"Oh simply hilarious, Malfoy!" I actually thought it was. "Do you want to go?" I asked Severus.

"Are you going?" he asked.

"Sure, why not?" I said.

"Let's go then." He stood up and yelled to the others. "Slow down you imbeciles! There's no since running! We already know who'll be the Gryffindor!"

I laughed again as he took my hands helped me stand. We caught up with the others and headed into town.

We were in the woods, now nearing the town, when Malfoy stopped suddenly. He waved his hands motioning us to stop.

"Shh…Look!" he whispered.

I had no idea what he was looking at, and then suddenly I saw it.

_A dragon!_

It was monstrous; much larger than I thought it would be.

I could hear the fear in Malfoy's voice when he said, "Where did it come from? They aren't supposed to be in this part of the country! I think it sees us! Run!"

We tore out of there at light-speed, heading towards Hogsmeade.

"It's no use! We'll never outrun it!" Malfoy stopped and brandished his wand ordering, "Help me…quickly!" The others took out their wands. "On the count of three yell 'stupefy'. One, Two, Three…_Stupefy_!" they all said as I watched in amazement.

The spell had little effect the dragon was barely stunned. "What do we do?" Yelled Malfoy, scared out of his wits.

_I have an idea!_

I addressed the group, "Listen everyone, stand in a line with your shoulders touching." They just stared at the dragon. "NOW! I ordered. They did as instructed. "When I count to three, everyone point your wands at it its chest and say 'Exodus', got it?"

I ran to the end of the line and grabbed Severus's hand, straightening it palm up, and placed my palm against his. "Three, two, one, '_EXODUS!_'" we all shouted in unison.

Warmth spread through my body, then passed from my hand to Severus, and then to the others. It was like the spell had been magnified ten fold. A blinding blue light shot from all the wands, converged at a focal point in the center, and created one colossal lightening bolt.

ZAP!!!

It hit the dragon square in the chest. The dragon cried out and, poof, it was gone! It had worked!

"We did it!" I squealed jumping up and down and everyone began to cheer.

"Yes, but what exactly did we do?" Severus asked me, still looking a bit astonished.

"We sent it home! That was a banishing charm!" I said.

"That's not what we learned in class," said Malfoy, wanting a further explanation, "Where ever did you learn it?"

I thought about it for a moment but I had no idea. I looked at Severus and he answered for me, "She doesn't know, Malfoy. It's in her blood." He looked back at me proudly. Malfoy and the others found this answer to be quite satisfactory and there were no more questions.

Malfoy offered, "I shall buy you a butterbeer, Kinsington. For saving our…hides! Let's get a move on, before she sends us all home as well!"

"Did you feel it too?" I whispered to Severus.

"Yes, very much so." The way he said it made me wonder if he had meant the surge of warmth from the spell, or the feeling of my hand on his…

* * *

As predicted the night before, I woke up with a massive hangover at noon the next day. I ran to the bathroom cursing myself for being so ambitious with the tequila. I splashed some water on my face and decided to get that potion before it got any worse. Nearly bent in half, I made my way to the dungeons. 

"I hope you've got it handy," I said to him when I entered his office.

"It's right here." He held out a flagon for me to take.

"No, please say no." He was serious. I tilted it back again and felt it ooze down my throat. I closed my eyes and shuddered, "Ugh".

"Maybe you shall think twice before repeating last night's behavior."

I was already feeling a bit less queasy. "Definitely. What the bloody hell is in it that?"

"Do you really want to know?" he asked.

"No. Do you have any coffee?"

I was surprised. He usually didn't drink coffee, and it was late in the day for it. I realized he had made it just for me. "Wonderful." I exclaimed as I sipped the liquid with guilty pleasure. "What sort of condiments did you add to this one?" I asked half joking and half serious.

"I added nothing. It's French Roast, for the world traveler in all of us."

_I'll be damned! He just made a joke!_

"Yes, I feel much better. Thank you very much, Severus."

"You can thank me by never needing it again. It makes the whole of my office reek for hours," he hissed.

"I bet it does, but it tastes much worse than it smells, and that is really saying something." I shuddered again just thinking about it.

"Yes, you are quite right," he muttered.

"You've had it before? Why, Severus Snape, I never!"

"We all have our less than rational moments," he added. "Do you think you could eat now?"

"Surprisingly yes, but I am afraid we've missed lunch."

"You are forgetting where we are. The kitchens are always open. Since it is not too cold outside today, when you've finished your coffee, we'll eat on the patio outside the main kitchen. The house elves will no doubt be accommodating."

_Is it my imagination, or is he suggesting a picnic?_

With a final gulp I announced, "I'm done already."

"You drink everything very fast don't you?" he chastised. "I haven't got all day, you know. Stop lollygagging about."

I chuckled and made my way to the door. I found him very funny today.

It was true, the house elves were very eager to please. We stepped onto the patio through the back kitchen doors, and then seated ourselves at a stone picnic table under a large evergreen vine. Almost immediately we were served by a flock of excited house elves. A large flagon of Butterbeer was placed before us, so I poured us each a glass. Severus had apparently arranged this because the elves had our orders ready.

He had a roast turkey leg and I had..."Filet Mignon, medium rare," he informed as I looked at my plate quizzically.

"My favorite. How did you remember?"

"It is hard to forget when I girl orders a man-sized, bloody steak," he hissed.

"I guess you're right." I was very impressed.

_What is he playing at?_

It was all beginning to feel a bit romantic. Then he spoke.

"You need to put on some weight, Kinsington. I am beginning to see a perfect outline of your skeleton."

_What a way to break the mood._

"I get the picture. Do you have a degree in nutrition, or do you just fancy yourself my personal dietitian?" I snapped.

"Make good use of your flapping jaws and chew," Snape said nastily.

The steak was a perfect medium rare. I ate very fast because it was so delicious and I was ravenous. "It's not going to sprout legs and walk off your plate, you know. You told me once that you had manners when you needed them. I see no evidence of this." He was a bloody record today. That's twice he had remembered details about me.

I swallowed my mouthful. "Pardon me." I straightening up allprim and proper, sticking out my pinky finger as I sipped some pumpkin juice.

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "If this is how you behave on all of your dates, Kinsington, then it's no wonder you haven't any callers," he snapped.

_Did he just call this a date?_

"Well, Professor, I'll have you know that I've never had a proper dinner date in my entire life." It was true, I had never dated once, ever. "But if I ever have one, I'll send you a snap shot of the napkin in my lap!"

He put down his fork and looked at me as if sizing me up. "What do you mean you've never had a date? Do these men you see just ply you with drinks and take you off to roll about in the hay?" he accused me with an irrational tone in his voice.

_Why you mother-_

"Roll about in the hay? Do you take me for some sort of livestock then? And just who in the bloody hell are these men you're going on about?" I was pissed. "You act as if I've got a neon sign about my neck that flashes, 'here ye, here ye! Come one and all! The world famous horizontal gymnast Ellie Kinsington's in town'!"

His lips twitched, threatening a smile. "Settle down, Kinsington. I didn't mean to offend you."

"Yes you did! Why try and deny it now? You're doing such an excellent job." My feelings were badly hurt and I began to frown. I looked away from him, across the grounds and over at the lake.

_Now would be a good time to go and jump in it._

"Seriously, Kinsington," he began, "you have never been on a date?"

"No, Severus I have not." I looked back at him. "There were many things I went looking for all these years, but a man never one of them." I hoped with all my heart that he believed me. "I have always been alone and I am rather good at it."

"Well maybe it's time?"

"Time for what?" I snapped.

"Time you had a proper date."

_Is he going to do what I think he's going to do?_

"Tuesday night, the Ministry of Magic is going to be having a small banguet for its better patrons. Some of the teachers, along with Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black, well she's Narcissa Malfoy now, will be there. Why don't you attend as my…guest?"

"Are you quite serious?" I could tell that he was frighteningly sincere.

_He just asked me out! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!_

"The carriage will be leaving Hogwarts at seven. Do be on time. I know how you do love to dawdle."

"Of course I shall be on time. Perhaps early even."

"_Early_ is not in your vocabulary. I have to meet with the Headmaster in fifteen minutes. I will see you at dinner."

That was the end of it and suddenly I was incredibly optimistic. I remember the first time he asked me out…

* * *

Near the beginning of my 6th year, it was announced that there would be a dance, to celebrate Dumbledore's anniversary of becoming Headmaster, on Saturday, October the fourth. On Friday, October the third, at the end of what I had now dubbed my Slytherin Charms Class, Severus stopped me on my way out. 

"Excuse me, Kinsington, but isn't this normally the time when you ask me to the dance?" he asked.

"Right you are, Severus, I had nearly forgotten." I kept walking.

"Well?"

"Well what?" I asked annoyed.

"Aren't you going to ask me to the dance?"

"No. I have gotten tired of being rejected. I know what the answer is already, as I've asked you three years in a row." I kept on walking. "Besides, I'm not even going to this one. I have grown to rather dislike dances." I walked on leaving him in my wake.

I was fast asleep in bed that night when, at quarter past eleven, I woke with a start.

"Ellie, Ellie, wake up!"

"What is it, Mildred?" I gound the sleep out of my eyes with my fists and squinted to see a terrified second year Gryffindor standing over my bed.

"There's some horrible Slytherin boy just outside the portrait who is demanding to see you!"

"Tell him to go away. I'm sleeping," I moaned.

"He told me he would use the Cruciatus curse on me if I didn't get you at once!"

_Oh second years, so vulnerable. She is quaking in her boots._

"For heaven's sake, Mildred, the Cruciatus Curse is illegal! If he were to use it he'd go straight to Azkaban forever. I doubt anyone needs to see me so badly that they would risk a life-sentence!"

Nevertheless it got my attention. I pulled on my housecoat and went to have a look.

"Really, Malfoy, the Cruciatus Curse? What is so damned important that you would threaten that poor girl with torture in the middle of the night?" I complained.

"I knew that would work." Malfoy beamed happily. "You are coming with me to the library to see Severus right now."

"Am I? Can't it wait until morning?" I huffed.

"You are already up and about. Severus is on duty, or he would have come himself. Come on!"

"At least let me put some clothes on." I looked at my bare feet and worn housecoat.

"There's no time for that now! Come on, before Filch catches us out of bed," he warned.

That did it. I hated Squibs!

"Whatever! Let's just make this quick," I spat as we started walking.

We hurried to the library and met Severus in the tall shelves of books near the back. Malfoy said, rather postman like, "Here you are, Severus. I told you she'd arrive on time," then he left us alone.

"Severus, I know I told you that I would help you study for your N.E.W.T.'s, but I didn't mean tonight!" I said rather annoyed, sure that's what he wanted.

"Let me guess, Malfoy used the old Cruciatus ploy." He grinned evilly.

"So you are familiar with it then? Lovely."

"I didn't send for you to study, Ellie."

"Well then, what is it?" I demanded.

"I wanted to ask you to go to the dance with me tomorrow night."

_Right, and I'm really a man!_

"Oh that's a good one. I enjoy a good joke as much as the next person, but my sense of humor automatically shuts off as soon as I've gone to sleep for the night!" I remarked angrily.

"I'm not joking. I really do want you to go to the dance with me. If you had asked me as you usually do, I would have agreed."

I stared at him with my mouth open.

_I think he's dead serious!_

"Well, will you go with me…please?"

My mouth could hardly form the words, "Uh...yes, I will go with you."

He smiled a little. I had never seen him make a real smile before. "Shall I meet you outside your common room at quarter till eight?" He asked.

"That sounds…fine," I replied, "I guess I'll see you then."

"I look forward to seeing you," he said as I walked away smiling.

For this festive occasion, I had chosen a strapless, black ball gown that flared out at the waste. I wore my long, wavy hair loose. I was very nervous, but I thought I looked rather appealing. At quarter to eight, I stepped out from behind the Fat Lady's portrait to find Severus waiting for me. Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, and Narcissa Black were also there. Severus turned to me and whispered, "You look pretty." Crabbe and Goyle sniggered.

Narcissa addressed me, "Yes, Ellie, you clean up nicely. I hadn't realized your hair had grown so long."

Malfoy was on her arm and said, "I prefer the dress to the housecoat." He was of course referring to last night. Then he said, "Let's go or we shall be late." Severus offered me his arm and I took it.

After suffering some very heavy teasing from James and his lot during dinner, the dance began.

"Would you like to dance?" Severus asked, holding out his hand.

I nodded and I took his hand, getting a very warm sensation, not unlike the day with dragon. We edged our way out on the dance floor, he put his free harm around my waist, and I put mine on his shoulder. We danced every song in a row for two hours.

"It is hot in here," I mentioned.

"Would you like to step outside for a minute?" he offered quietly.

"Fresh air would be perfect." We continued to hold hands as we walked out into the rose garden. The cool fall breeze washed over us. "It feels great out here."

"Are you enjoying yourself…the dance I mean?" he asked.

I smiled at him and replied, "I am having a wonderful time."

"So am I."

"I had no idea you could dance so well. I must say that I am rather impressed, Severus."

"You're not so bad yourself, Kinsington. I am glad you didn't turn down my invitation. I wanted to spend sometime with you that didn't involve studying." We were facing each other now, getting closer and closer. "You really are very beautiful." He leaned over, his face was getting closer and closer.

"Thank you," I whispered breathlessly. Our lips were nearly touching.

"There you two are! We've been looking everywhere for you!" Malfoy yelled and approached. "We are going into the Forest to have a bit of Firewhiskey. Come on, let's go."

Severus and I looked at each other, both of us quite annoyed by Malfoy's first kiss sabotage.

"Did I interrupt something? Why, Severus Snape, you Slytherin devil you!"

Severus blushed and turned his glare to Malfoy. "Go on Malfoy, leave us be!"

"I would, but Ellie has to come. Who else will protect us if some mythical creature comes to call?"

"It's alright, Severus. We can go If you like?" I said.

We both knew the mood had long since died.

"How can we refuse such an invitation, when Malfoy needs a fifteen-year-old girl to scare away the boogeyman?" Severus smiled at me and we walked hand in hand onto the forest.

The Slytherins and the Gryffindor: that would be a catchy title for a children's book…

* * *

Back in the present it was time for our dinner date. Tuesday night arrived. I was determined to show Snape that I could be early if I wanted to. I put on a spaghetti-strapped, black lace dress, pulled back the sides of my hair with black jeweled barrettes, and wore my favorite prized pair of garnet earrings. Since this was an official Ministry of Magic event, I decided on a wispy, but formal, black sheer wizarding robe. It was only six thirty, but I was heading down to the entrance to wait. Just when I had reached my hand out to grasp the door knob to open my bedroom door, there came a knock. 

"Severus, I was just on my way down."

"Hm. Early are we?" He seemed impressed. "I thought we might have a small glass of wine before we go." He emphasized the small part. "Shall we step out on your balcony?" he asked, brandishing a bottle of wine along with two glasses.

It was my turn to be impressed. "Yes, right this way." I ushered him into my rooms and out to the balcony. It was early spring so the air was cool and crisp. The days had not yet begun to lengthen for summer so it was just at sunset. "Thank you," I said when he handed me a glass of white wine, "This is good."

"Yes. Mind you drink it slowly," he said curtly then, "You look rather…enchanting this evening, Kinsington."

_Is that a compliment? He does look serious enough._

"Thank you, Severus. You look rather handsome yourself." He was wearing, what I would describe as, nearly a tuxedo with billowing black robes. I was staring to get nervous so I decided to break the silence. "Is the carriage taking us all the way to the Ministry?"

"No. We will take the carriage to just outside London and then we are apparating." He pondered something for a moment. "Kinsington, do you know how to Apparate?"

"Well, yes…something like it, anyway it has the same results." He looked intrigued at my admission. "Don't worry, you will see what I mean. I really can't explain it very effectively."

"Hm, I'll take your word for it." He had seen me do some very magnificent things that I could never explain. "We should go, it is almost seven."

We left to join our fellow teachers from Hogwarts outside the main entrance.

"Miss Kinsington, I am so glad that you could join us this evening," said Professor Dumbledore brightly. "This will be most enjoyable."

I stepped into the carriage and was joined by Professors Dumbledore, McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout, and Snape. I sat between Snape and Flitwick and was soon engaged in conversation with all of the passengers, except for Severus. He just sat quietly listening to us all.

"Here we are," Dumbledore announced as the carriage halted near a park. "I arranged for a portkey as I did not know if you could apparate, Ellie. There is a Frisbee under the bench, just outside the carriage. Shall we?" We all climbed out the carriage and stood in a circle holding the Frisbee. "On the count of three..." we were pulled as if by invisible hands and appeared inside the entrance hall of the Ministry of Magic.

We made our way via elevator to the 100th floor to the dining hall. It was occupied by about thirty witches and wizards all mingling about. Severus offered me his arm. I was very nervous now. I had never met the Minister of Magic or the other members the Wizengamot. My arm on Severus's, I walked to meet them. We were stopped by a familiar voice midway through our journey.

"Ah, Miss Kinsington, you have indeed returned to Hogwarts. It has been far too long."

"Lucius Malfoy! Yes it has been a long time." I smiled at him. He hadn't changed much, except that he was a bit taller and his white-blonde hair longer. Narcissa was with him of course. "Narcissa, it's nice to see you again."

"Yes it is, Ellie. Where on earth have you been? You gave us all quite a shock with the way you disappeared?" asked Narcissa.

I wasn't really sure how to answer this. I looked to Severus and he seemed a little irritated. "Well, here and there. I did a bit of…traveling."

I was getting anxious because I didn't want to talk about it. Severus was beginning to stiffen-up. I was without the words to go any further.

"Well, I hear tell that you have become quite the popular teacher. A favorite of many of the students. Our son, Draco, speaks very highly of you," Malfoy said grinning slyly.

"I hadn't realized." I hadn't known the students thought of me that way. "Draco is very much like you, Lucius. I knew he was yours just on sight." Oh yes, very much like him indeed. "I am pleased that he enjoys my class. He is an excellent student."

_That was a bit of a lie._

Malfoy smiled and continued, "He talks about you all the time. I think he may have a bit of a crush."

_Now there's a scary thought!_

"Hm," Severus whispered so only I could hear, "like father like son."

_What the hell did he mean by that? Malfoy never had a crush on me, did he? Gods, I hope not!_

"It's time for us to be seated, Lucius," Severus spat. "Do excuse us, won't you?"

"Yes, Lucius, see you soon," I agreed, wishing he hadn't mentioned my running off.

I was beginning to see a foul mood emerge in Severus, when he practically dragged me to our seats. But just when I thought the evening was turning nasty, he pulled out my chair for me. "Thank you, Severus." I was determined to show him that I did in fact have excellent manners.

"Hm," he growled.

I was flooded with question from all directions during the meal. Mr. Fudge, the Minister, was very interested in everything I had to say.

"Miss Kinsington, I am delighted to see that Dumbledore was right about you," Fudge began. "I am honored to have a Sorceress on the faculty at Hogwarts. I am interested to learn more about you. Sorcery is such an elusive art these days."

_I hate it when people talk about me like I am some sort of enigma. I feel like I'm on display in a window front of an antique store._ "Thank you, Minister Fudge." Everyone was watching me with expectation.

_Please don't let him pry any further right now. I bet they want me to be like a Muggle magician and pull a rabbit out of my ass!_

"Being back at Hogwarts has been a wonderful experience. I hope to remain for a very long time." I saw Severus stiffen up again. Malfoy was grinning at me, like he waiting for something.

I said my goodbyes to all, shaking hands and smiling. I was so ready to go. The Hogwarts group made our way back to the carriage via portkey and our journey back to the castle began.

Severus didn't speak the entire way again. When we arrived, he startled me when he asked, "Fancy a walk, Kinsington?"

We walked to the rose garden, neither of us speaking. The roses were just beginning to bloom and the air was thick with their perfume. It was chilly out at this time of night. I rubbed my arms and gave a little shiver.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

"Not terribly." I was hoping he would keep me warm. I smiled at the thought of it.

"Lucius was very pleased to see you. You were quite the entertainment tonight," he remarked bitterly.

"If you say so," I replied. I had a feeling what was coming next, and I didn't like it.

"Running about the world has given you a certain amount of celebrity, Kinsington. Soon you will usurp Potter as the world's most famous magician." He was being a real git.

"That's a bit much don't you think?" I fired angrily at him. "I thought you were going to show me a proper date, not drag me around and insult me. I think I've had enough for one night. I'm going to my rooms."

"Don't be so dramatic, Kinsington." He was calm again. "Come, let's sit over there while you calm down."

"Why should I?"

"Because, I thought you were tired of running away from things." That did it. I was feeling the guilt creep up in the pit of my stomach.

I walked solemnly to the bench beneath the tree and sat down. "You're right Severus. I am very drained of it." My heart was heavy. Maybe tonight I would tell him why. I shivered again, the cold was more pronounced than before. Maybe it wasn't the temperature but instead what I was thinking.

"Put this on." He removed his cloak and wrapped it around my shoulders. "Is that better?"

"Much, thanks," I replied.

"Tell me something," he began, "this unpleasantness you mentioned. When was it exactly?"

I began to shift nervously in my seat. I was without words. It was the subject that I would not even discuss with myself. I had only recently discovered horrific details about my life that shook my very foundation to the core. I didn't answer his question.

"Was it your parents?" he probed.

"Those Squibs were not my parents!" I screamed irrationally.

"What?" A look of genuine surprise was on his face.

"I don't want to talk about this. I can't!" I was shaking fiercely now and my head was spinning. I couldn't sit still and leapt to my feet. He stood up and put his hands on my shoulders. "Don't touch me!" I cried, pulling away from him abruptly. I began to cry uncontrollably and fell to my knees, putting my face in my hands. I almost forgot where I was.

"What did they do to you?" he whispered, more to himself then to me.

He knelt down and pulled me gently up my arms. I was still bawling and shuddering; I simply couldn't stop. I fell into his arms and cried more forcefully. He just held me tightly unable to console me. When he stoked my hair tenderly, I pulled away.

"I'm sorry, Severus. I'm so sorry," I sobbed softly. Then, I turned and ran from him, all the way back to my rooms.

_How can I tell him what I've done?_

"I can't do this anymore!" I screamed, "Please just make it stop!"

When I slept that night, I saw his blood on me. The Guardian's blood was all over me.

* * *


	4. Chapter Four: Written In My Heart

* * *

Warning!!! AU!!!

**Chapter 4: Written in My Heart**

I did not speak to Severus outside my lessons for weeks and did everything I could to avoid him. I never went to meals in the Great Hall. I had practically stopped eating all together. All the optimism I felt had left me, with the familiar hollowness to which I had grown accustomed. The big red book had been showing me things. I was beginning to understand that it was trying to tell me something. I was so spell-bound with that book that I spent nearly every minute of every day and night watching it, reducing sleep to about an hour or so each day.

I hadn't even noticed that spring was in full bloom. It was about seven on, an early April evening, when I got a knock on my door. The books images ceased and I snapped out of my trance. I knew who was at the door, so I stood for a moment before opening it.

"You should be in your lesson now. Why did you not come?" Snape asked.

"I'm busy reading something important. I'll make up the lesson another time," I replied, eager to return to my book.

"Why are you wasting away in this room? You have obligations to fulfill, Miss Kinsington!"

_You're not the boss of me, you overgrown bat!_

I got in his face, my eyes wild and crazed, and pointed my finger at him. "You have no say in my life!" I sounded like a mad scientist on the verge of a breakthrough! "Leave me be! I am busy!"

He looked at me as if I was crazy and remarked, "You've lost your mind, woman!" He stepped back a little. "Get out of your rooms and come with me. You need to see Madam Pomfrey."

I let out a loud, mad giggle and said, "Step away from the door." I was stepping closer to him. "I AM BUSY! VERY, VERY BUSY!" I roared to the air above.

"You are mad, Kinsington, really mad!" He apprehensively reached for my arm, as if he was trying to catch a venomous snake. "Just take it on out," he encouraged very cautiously.

I was beyond rational thought as I drew my arm out of his way, before he could grab me. "Do you want know what makes me mad, Severus? DO YOU?" I taunted, "I'LL NEVER TELL YOU! I'LL NEVER TELL YOU!"

I had really lost it and was feeling faint. When he refused to follow my orders, I went storming out of my rooms down the corridor. I whipped around at him and continued yelling, "I looked everywhere, you know! All the time, it was right here!"

I started to lose my balance and swayed where I stood. "You weren't there..." I fell backward and all went black.

When I came to, he was walking quickly with me in his arms. "Shh. It's all right now," he soothed. I hugged my arms tightly around his neck, pressed my face into his neck, and blacked out again.

I knew I was in the hospital wing, but I did not open my eyes. My eyelids were too heavy. I heard them speak, but it was like a dream.

"She'll recover I think, Headmaster, but she is in a very decrepit state. She is very dehydrated and exhausted. One would think she hadn't eaten or had a drink in weeks." Madam Pomfrey sounded very concerned as she spoke to Dumbledore, "If this continues, she will very certainly...well I dare not speak of it."

"Thank you, Poppy. I understand and know you will take excellent care of her. You found her like this, Severus?" asked Dumbledore.

"She was still conscious when I found her, but she was behaving rather irrationally," informed Severus.

"Do you know anything about this, Severus? Has she told you anything?" asked Dumbledore.

"No," Snape said calmly, "She hasn't spoken a word to me for six weeks. She refuses to leave her rooms."

"I see." After a long pause, Dumbledore spoke, "There was a time when the two of you were very good friends. She doesn't have anyone, you know; not any family, all her school friends long since gone. Perhaps you could...listen to her now. I am afraid that we will lose Miss Kinsington again, this time forever. I would like you to stay with her while I have a word with Poppy in my office. Would you do that for me Severus?"

"Yes, Headmaster, I will wait with her."

"Very good, Severus, very good...Poppy?" I heard their footsteps get softer as they left.

I felt him sit beside me on the bed and his hand brushed my forehead. "Are you awake?" Snape whispered softly. It was difficult but I opened my eyes. "You've given everyone quite a fright."

I reached up and held his hand, that was still stroking my forehead, and he did not resist. "I have so many secrets," I whispered sadly, "How can I tell you? Where do I begin?"

"Wherever you'd like. You do not have to tell me now, you really should rest."

"I haven't rested in nearly fifteen years. I am so tired of running. Why can't it just stop?" I sighed.

"Ellie," he began very seriously, looking deep into my eyes, "they can't hurt you anymore. Whatever they did to you, you can tell me. You must trust me on this."

"You don't know me anymore. I'm not the same as I was, and I can never be her again. I can't even see her anymore," I sobbed.

Snape sighed heavily and insisted, "You need to rest. I won't leave you until you are sleeping, I promise."

"Severus, I had no other choice. I had to do it." I wanted to explain, but I could hardly keep my eyes open. 

"Please, Ellie, stop talking. You are not well, so you must try to sleep now."

"I'll tell you everything. But you must swear to me that you will never speak of it to anyone," I begged.

"All right, I'll listen," he snapped impatiently, "but now you have to sleep."

I closed my eyes as tears ran slowly down my face. I couldn't keep them open any longer. "Goodnight, Severus, I'll tell you everything." With that, I was asleep. They must have given me something. That night, I had no dreams at all.

_oooooooooo_

The morning came and when I woke up, he was there. He helped me to sit and handed me a glass of water. My head was much clearer now. I realized what a show I had put on last night. "What time is it?"

"Early, it will be seven soon," Snape informed.

"I haven't slept that long in ages. Could you help me back to my room?"

"I am not sure that would be wise. Madam Pomfrey is quite insistent that you stay here at least another day."

"I really hate hospitals, Severus. I have spent a good deal of time in them. I would be much more comfortable somewhere else," I emphatically implored.

"Let me speak with her first. Don't move from that bed until I return," he said firmly.

"All right, but the minute you get back, I am out of here."

"We'll see." He was gone for half an hour. He reentered the room with Madam Pomfrey and Professor Dumbledore.

"I must insist that she not be moved, Albus. She needs to be watched in her condition," Poppy commanded.

"I don't want to be here," I whined impatiently. "I would be much more comfortable in my rooms, Madam Pomfrey."

"I would prefer you not to go back to your rooms for a while, Ellie," the Headmaster said. "You seem to have spent plenty of time there by yourself over the last several weeks. You really shouldn't be alone right now because you are very fragile my dear. I hate to sound fatherly, but I agree with Poppy."

I didn't mind him being fatherly because I knew he truly cared for me. However, I would not stay here.

"Please, Professor, I don't have to go back to my rooms, but I will be worse here, believe me. I will sit in the Great Hall all day if need be!" I pleaded with him.

He looked at Severus and then said, "If you had someone to look after you, I would most certainly agree."

"Headmaster, if I might have a word with you in private," requested Snape.

"Of course, Professor Snape. Excuse us for a moment ladies."

They went behind a screen, at the other end of the large room, and came back a few minutes later.

"Poppy, I think it will be alright if we release Miss Kinsington to the capable hands of our Potions Master. He and I have an arrangement, which I find acceptable. That is of course, if Ellie will agree to mind his instructions?" said Dumbledore looking at me.

"As long as I don't have to stay here, I will do anything that he says," I answered.

"Right then. Severus, I want you to keep me posted. Take care, Ellie. I do so enjoy it when you are up and about." He smiled very warmly and then he left with a very agitated Madam Pomfrey.

"What exactly is this arrangement? I'm not going to have to grade all your papers for the rest of the term, am I?" I asked Severus.

He was actually considering it. "We'll see about that. For now, let us focus on getting you out of here."

"Thank gods! I can't stand it another minute. Will you help me stand?" I sat on the edge of the bed. He and I grabbed arms, and he slowly lifted me to my feet. "That's no good. Why don't you use Mobilicorpus? I'll never make it this way?"

"I have a better idea." He bent down and gathered my legs, then he picked me up, cradle like in his arms.

"You can't carry me all the way to the dungeons like this! You'll hurt yourself!" I protested.

Snape grumbled and narrowed his eyes. "I am not saying this to anger you, but you have lost a significant amount of weight this term. Therefore, you weigh little more than one of my first year students. I will not harm myself, Kinsington, just hold on and don't struggle." We were already far down the hall by now, so I did as he said.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him carry me.

"What are you doing in the hall? You should be in class! Ten points from Hufflepuff, Mr. Davies!" he fired at a boy as we passed him.

After a long, brisk walk we had arrive at his office. He carried me to his usual armchair by the fire and placed me in it. "_Accio_," he commanded, which sent a large green blanket flying through the air. He covered me with it and then moved the leather ottoman, lifted my feet onto it, and covered them with the blanket. "Is this acceptable?"

"Wonderful."

"Drink this," he insisted, handing me a teacup, but it wasn't tea.

I didn't know what it was. I tilted my head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "It is a potion to help you regain your strength. Dumbledore asked me to make sure that you drink it several times a day. Don't be silly, Kinsington, drink it!" he snapped impatiently.

"Is there anything foul in this?" I had to ask, "You know, any dried, powdered, or pickled animal parts?"

"Unfortunately, no. It is composed primarily of fruits and herbs. You may add honey to it if you see fit."

He was being very cross with me, but I realized he probably never went to sleep last night. I sipped it and thankfully it wasn't bad. It tasted of cinnamon and mint mostly. "I can give you a sleeping draft if you'd like." He eyed me suspiciously. 

"No, I think I can manage. Don't you have a class to teach?"

"Yes. I shall be next door in my classroom if you need me. I will be stopping in frequently during class to make sure you are behaving yourself. There are some sandwiches next to you on this table. I am off now."

When he left, I ate one of the sandwiches as I sipped my potion. How interesting it was that I was stuck in the dungeons with Snape, unable to do a thing about it. I couldn't have walked out of there on my own if the room were on fire. I fell asleep and when I woke up he had returned.

"Feeling better?" Snape hissed, "I see you have eaten something."

"I am feeling better, but I could seriously do with a bath and a change of clothes. I feel nasty," I cringed.

"Hm. Do you think you could manage it? I wouldn't want you to drown on my watch?" His sarcasm had returned suddenly.

"I'll have a go at it. I think it would be worth the risk. I am beginning to stink."

"How lovely. Here, let me help you." He helped me to stand and walked me into his private rooms that connected to his office.

"I've never been in here before. It is rather nice, Severus. You seem to have good taste." I marveled over how nice and cozy it looked, very neatly kept.

"My taste is questionable at best." I was sure he was referring to me. "I will draw you a bath, but then you are on your own. I do not think it would be suitable for me to...well you know what I mean!"

_Is he blushing?_

I couldn't help but tease, "Aren't you going to join me? Dumbledore did say for you to keep a close watch on me." I tried very hard not to laugh or smile.

He looked at me as if I had just called him a Gryffindor! "You find yourself rather amusing, don't you? It is ready," he snapped as he turned off the taps. "A change of attire has been brought from your rooms by Professor McGonagall. Don't dawdle about in there. Get in, get out. If you encounter any problems, scream." He was being short.

"No problem, I will be just a minute. Go on now, no peeking," I teased.

He curled his lip at me and left me to it.

The water was warm and soothing, but I did as I had promised and did not soak for long, even though I could have. I carefully got out, dried off, and changed into my fresh clothes. Exhaustion began to take over. That bath took a lot of effort.

_oooooooooo_

I was now having trouble with my balance again as I walked toward the office doors. I had to stop and grabbed on to the post of his bed to for support. "Severus," I called out.

He came bursting through the doors, as if expecting to find me bleeding to death.

"I'm all right, don't look so worried. I just can't walk any further alone."

He seemed relieved. "Perhaps this is far enough for now. Get in the bed and lie down for a while."

"Are you sure? I don't want to invade your personal space. Just help me back out to the chair. I was comfortable there," I requested.

"You are being ridiculous, Kinsington! You invaded my personal space long ago. Now do as I say or I will drag you back to see Madam Pomfrey!" he threatened.

"Yes, sir." 

"That is more like it. Up you go." He helped me climb into his bed. "It is time for another potion. I will be right back."

_Who knew that Snape would have such excellent taste in bed linens?_

He came back in watched me finish my cup and then announced, "I am going to the Great Hall for dinner to report to Dumbledore. I expect you to sleep while I am gone. I will not be long."

I fell asleep in no time. I was having a vivid nightmare that seemed all too real. Suddenly I woke up, screaming thrashing about madly. It was dark and I had no recollection of where I was. I continued to scream.

_The Guardians! I'm in my room in the basement and they are coming for me!_

"NO! NO!" I screamed. I felt someone on the bed sitting beside me. Someone was grabbing my arms. Sure it was The Guardians, I screamed, "PLEASE DON'T HURT ME. SIR, I PROMISE I WON'T TELL! SIR, PLEASE YOU'RE HURTING ME!"

"Ellie, stop! It's me, Severus. What are you screaming about? Look...it's only me."

I started to snap out of it, realizing it had only been a nightmare. I was breathing as if I couldn't catch my breath. I was still terrified.

"Ellie, there's no one here but me." I sobbed and he pulled me to him my head against his chest. "Shhhh," he whispered as he stroked my hair. I held him tight. "I'm here, Ellie. I won't let anyone hurt you."

"Severus," I sobbed, "I am so scared. It all seems so real to me. I thought I was home at The Guardians House, and they were coming for me. They won't stop coming for me." I was a mess. "I just can't seem to run fast enough."

He kissed me on the forehead and whispered, "But you did run fast enough, you got away." He kissed my forehead again, this time his lips lingering a little longer than the last. "Would you like me to stay here with you tonight?" he asked quietly, his lips inches from mine.

"Please," I begged quietly, "I don't want to be alone. I can't bear to have that dream again."

"All right, move over just a little."

I did and he got into the bed beside me. I moved back into his arms and laid my head on his shoulder. "Is this alright? Can you sleep like this?" He asked and I nodded 'yes'.

I finally felt safe again. "Yes, I think so. Can you?" I replied and tilted my head to look up at him.

He kissed me softly on the lips as I felt my heart skip a beat. I wished he'd never stop. "I will manage," he whispered, looking deep into my eyes.

This time, I kissed him, our lips barely parting. He did not pull away from me. He returned my kisses sweetly, softly. He stopped and slid his hand across my cheek. I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder, and then he lowered his head to rest on mine. He spoke very quietly, "We can talk about this in the morning."

I drifted off to the most peaceful sleep of my life. This time, I dreamed about the very first time he had kissed me, when I was just a girl...

* * *

After Dumbledore's anniversary dance in my sixth year, Severus and I began to spend even more time together. We had come so close to kissing that night in the rose garden, but had never talked about it. He and I talked about nearly everything else, though. Often we would sneak around the school and its grounds, holding hands, hiding from the other students; particularly my Gryffindor friends and his Slytherin associates.

There had always been a malicious rivalry between our two houses. They simply hated each other! This was blatantly obvious with our separate entourages. Our relationship wasn't a secret by any means, but we did not flaunt our feelings for each other in public. It was just a lot less dramatic that way.

We wanted to spend more time together, away from the library, where we could talk without too much trouble from prying eyes. Beginning in early November, all the 7th years were studying like mad for their NEWTS. Everyone knew that Severus and I were very serious students who had classes together, so no one thought twice about our constantly being in the library. It was rather hard to talk there about anything other than our classes, and we were finding it more and more difficult to be alone during the school week.

One night, buried deep in the stacks of books on Ancient Hexes and The Dark Arts, Severus came up with a covert method of communication.

"I have something for you, Kinsington," Snape said quietly, handing me a box wrapped in slick black paper.

"Are you giving me a present?" I cracked a smile. This was most unexpected. "My birthday isn't for months."

"This isn't a birthday present. Will you open it already?" he snapped impatiently.

"Simmer down, Snape," I mocked in my best impersonation of him.

I was very curious and tore it open. It was a black leather notebook, very much like the one I had for taking notes in Potions. There was a singular, small capitol 'E' branded at the bottom on the spine. I opened it to reveal blank pages. After examination, it appeared quite...ordinary. I looked at him questioningly. "Thanks," I said graciously.

He gave a devilish grin and asked, "Well what do you think?"

"I think this will come in rather handy in potions," I replied sensibly. _Were all his presents so very dull?_ The truth of the matter is, he could have wrapped up a rock in a bit of newspaper and I would have been pleased with it.

"Kinsington, you can be very daft for such a clever girl," he quipped, shaking his head. "Here, take this quill and write something on one of the pages."

"What do you want me to write?" I asked.

"I want you to write national anthem of Czechoslovakia!" he stated curtly, "It's no matter what you write! Just put down your name or something."

"All right!" I took the quill and wrote, 'Ellie Charlotte Kinsington', on the first page. After a moment, my name disappeared. "Where did it go?" I asked surprised.

"Charlotte? I never knew your middle name was Charlotte?" he said with a grin.

"Well you never asked, did you?" I replied, being rather short, "Severus, snap out of it and answer my question!"

He didn't answer. Instead, he handed me a notebook that was identical to mine except, where the 'E' had been, there was an 'S'. He nodded at me to open it. When I did, I saw to my amazement that there, on the first page, exactly in the same place and in my handwriting, was my name. "How did you so that?" I ran my hand across the page and the letters disappeared.

"I enchanted it with a bit of Dark Magic," he silkily. I looked at him worried. "Don't worry, it won't hurt you. You won't sprout red horns or anything. It is a way for us to communicate with each other without anyone finding out. If anyone other than you or I picks it up, it will read nonsense." He was rather pleased with himself.

"Severus, this is ingenious! How did you...I mean, what made you...this is the best present ever!" I was so excited that I was jumping up and down a little.

He rolled his eyes at me. "Kinsington, could you please stop hopping about like a rabbit? People are beginning to stare!"

I put my hand on my chin, staring at him trying to figure something out.

"What?"

"Nothing," I drawled flirtatiously, "It's just that, you're so very clever and handsome. Whatever will I do with you?"

He blushed a little and replied, "You'll write to me...often."

"Yes I will. I shall write in it so frequently that you shall be very tired of me in no time at all," I assured him.

"I doubt that very much." He was suddenly very serious. "Ellie...," he began, taking my hands in his, sending a shiver through my back, "you won't be using this idea to make a journal with anyone else, will you?" He looked a little sad.

"Of course not!" I said reassuringly. "I'm not interested in writing to anyone but you, Severus." I was the one blushing now. "Come on. We only have a short time before the library closes. We need to finish up." I released his hands, not wanting to at all.

"Yes, you're right. We have a lot to go over for tomorrow. When was it again that mortification charms were made illegal?" he asked and then sat back down at our table.

"1427, after they were discovered to cause hysteria by Sir Elwick the-level-headed, during his stay in India on holiday," I answered. We continued on as if nothing had transpired for the rest of the time in the library. We left upon its closing, and went our separate ways to our dorms.

In bed that night, I decided to give the journal a try. "Are you still awake?" I wrote.

"No," he wrote.

"Are you writing in your sleep then?"

"Yes."

"Having a good dream?" I wrote. 

"An excellent one," he replied.

"What is it about?"

"A very, very gorgeous girl."

I blushed and wrote, "Oh, I see. Tell her I said hello, will you?"

"Hello," he wrote.

"So, it's me is it?"

"Always."

I was so overwhelmed by this that I didn't write for at least a minute.

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Always," I wrote.

"Promise?"

"I'm not going anywhere I promise."

"If you go, I will follow you," he replied.

"Promise?" I asked.

"I give you my word. You will never be alone."

"Good, I hate being alone. I have always been alone."

"I know," he replied.

"Severus?"

"Yes?"

"Goodnight," I wrote.

"Yes it is."

"I mean I'm going to sleep now," I replied.

"I know."

"Enjoy that dream you're having. I will see you tomorrow," I wrote.

"Ellie?"

"Yes?"

"I will miss you."

"I know. Goodnight, Severus."

"Goodnight."

I closed the journal and hugged it to my chest. "I am in love with Severus Snape," I said very softly to myself. I closed my eyes and knew that tonight The Guardians would not bother me. As long as he was with me, they never would again.

_oooooooooo_

We wrote back and forth in the journal almost all the time. Finally, we could really talk without anyone bothering us. I had never been so open with anyone and neither had he. I really trusted him. We were talking in the hallway after Charms one day when Sirius, Lupin and James came up behind us.

"Ellie, come on! We're late for lunch!" yelled Sirius. "Hurry up before Snivellus jinxes us all."

"Whatever, Black! You wouldn't know a proper jinx if it bit you on the ass!" I fired at him. I hated it when they called him, 'Snivellus'.

"Well, why don't you show me then, Kinsington?" Black said flirtatiously, "I could do with a good ass-biting from a delicious thing like you." He raised his eyebrows up and down.

Severus was turning red with anger.

"Oh, please," I scolded, "You are such a git!"

"I know, but that's why you love me so." Black held out his arm, in an overly exaggerated way, and bowed deeply. "Shall we, my lady?"

I turned to Severus, knowing full well that he wanted to pull his wand on Black. "I'll see you later," I whispered, moving my eyes to the journal and then back to his. He knew what I meant. I walked away from him to join the boys, pushing Black out of my way.

"I love it when you play hard to get!" Sirius called out at me from behind. He then turned to Severus and walked backwards toward us. "She wants me, she just doesn't know it yet," he said tauntingly to Severus, and then caught up with us.

_oooooooooo_

Later that night, I wrote in my journal but got no response. I thought for sure he was awake. We were both usually up and writing very late into the night.

_I wonder if he took Black seriously today? Surely not! He knows better than that!_

The next day, in Defense the Dark Arts, he wouldn't even look at me. He left before I could catch him and He didn't write in the journal that night either. I was beginning to get very worried that he might never talk to me again. It went on like that the entire week.

One night, in the Gryffindor common room, I overheard a disturbing conversation.

"James, what was that I heard you telling Lupin? Did you do something to Snape the other night?" I asked.

"Look, you know about, Lupin right?" James asked in a whisper.

Lupin told me he was a werewolf a few days after I discovered that I was a Sorceress.

I nodded and James continued, "Well, a few days ago, the one with the full moon, I heard Sirius tell Snape that you wanted to meet him somewhere."

_What!?! Oh no! what did they do?_

"Meet him where, James?" I demanded angrily.

"It's bad, Ellie, really bad." James looked very guilty. "Black said you wanted to meet him in...the Whomping Willow."

"Oh, my gods! He didn't go, did he?" I was panic-stricken!

_I know what goes in that tree! Lupin goes there during the full moon to transform into the werewolf! Lupin is out of his mind when he's a werewolf!_

"Yes, I am sorry to say that he did. But I found out what Black had planned, and I was able to stop Snape, right before Lupin...attacked. Ellie, I swear I didn't know until then! Black could have gotten Snape Killed! I hate Severus but I would never wish him dead!"

"I can't believe this! Why would Sirius do that? Oh, my gods! This explains everything! You three are the most horrible people I have ever met! How could you do this?" I screamed.

"I'm sorry. I had nothing to do with it, I swear!" James insisted.

"I hate you and I will never forgive you!" I ran crying to my room and threw myself on the bed.

_He thinks I betrayed him. How could he have listened to Black?_

I picked up the journal and scribbled madly, "Severus, please write to me. I have to explain. I only just found out. Potter told me everything. I had nothing to do with it. Severus, please, you have to believe me!" I waited for a long time. There was no response. I cried myself to sleep thinking, "I love you, Severus. I would never betray you. You have to believe me."

_oooooooooo_

I awoke that night with a bang, literally. The dorm shook with a loud explosion. BANG!!!! There was screaming and I heard people rushing about out of their beds, and into the common room. I ran to join them. Everyone was in hysterics. The room was full of black smoke and the staircase to the boys' dorm looked charred. I saw that James and Sirius had small, bloody scrapes all over their faces.

"What's going on?" I asked them.

Just then, Professor McGonagall came running in through the portrait. "What's going on here? My gods, who did this?" she directed at the three of us.

"Someone got in our dorm somehow, Professor, while we were all asleep!" informed James.

He was head-boy, so McGonagall took his word for it.

James continued, "I don't know how they did it but we found this." He handed her a piece of cloth from a green and silver scarf.

_Slytherin colors! Oh no, not this! Severus is extremely adept at making all sorts of potions! He is the only one who could have done it. It was far too powerful an explosion for it to have been anyone else!_

"It was Malfoy and Snape, Professor! I saw them running out of the portrait when I heard the explosion," piped a terrified seventh year.

_No! Please don't let this be happening! He will be expelled! I know he will. Severus is already in loads of trouble from quarreling with James, Lupin and Black all the time! Dumbledore warned all four of them that they would be expelled if they so much as looked at each other funny!_

"Potter, Black, and you too Lupin. All of you, to the headmaster's office...now!" yelled McGonagall. "The rest of you stay here until Mr. Filch has made certain that it's safe for you to return to your beds. The three of you, out...now!" She led them out and the portrait closed.

_This isn't right! What will I do without him? And the others too? They can't get expelled! They simply can't! Wait! I know what to do!_

I ran from the room and to Dumbledore's office. I didn't know the password.

_How can I get in?_

Just then, the staircase opened and I went in. I knocked on the door. There was no answer. I listened with my ear to the door.

"I want whoever is responsible for this to come forward, or I shall have to expel you all," Dumbledore said very sternly.

"It wasn't us, it was the Slytherins! They broke in some how! Just ask them!" Sirius shouted.

"Is this true? Mr. Malfoy? Mr. Snape? Did you manage to get in? I believe you, Mr. Snape, know how to make the necessary potion. You are also missing a piece from your scarf," Dumbledore accused. "I'm afraid you will have to pack your things and leave at once, unless someone starts talking!"

I burst in the door. "I did it! I blew up the dorms!" I shouted running up to Dumbledore.

"WHAT?" yelled everyone in unison, as all six heads whipped to the left at me. They knew I was lying, and they were all flabbergasted, Severus especially.

"What's this, Miss Kinsington?" began Dumbledore, "You say you are responsible?"

_Here goes!_

"I am the one who blew up the dorms! None of them had anything to do with it. I was angry at Snape and Malfoy for teasing me all the time, calling me names, and embarrassing me in front of the other students." I continued to lie, "I was also furious with them," pointing my finger at James, Lupin and Sirius, "for what they did the other night at the Whomping Willow."

I took a breath and started again.

"I had enough of it! I brewed the potion and made it look like Snape and Malfoy did it. I took the piece of Snape's scarf during Defense against the Dark arts the other day when we were practicing dueling. I-I planted them in the dorm after I had set the potion. I knew they would accuse the Slytherins because they are always having a go at each other. I thought it would be better if they all just left. Then I wouldn't have to deal with them anymore!"

They all stared at me in total disbelief. No one said a word. Severus looked very frightened for me and also very shocked at my lies.

"Are you quite sure that's the way things happened, Ellie?" asked Dumbledore. I could tell he didn't believe me.

"Yes sir, Professor. That is exactly what happened! I changed my mind as soon as soon as I had done it. I couldn't let any of them take the blame for something that I had done. I am very sorry, but I had to tell the truth," I lied. "I did it. None of them had any idea!"

Dumbledore was quiet for a long time as he looked sternly at each of the boys. "Well then, Miss Kinsington, you alone will suffer the consequences."

"No, Professor, she's covering for us!" I was dumbfounded when I heard Malfoy speak.

"And us as well, Professor," spoke Lupin.

I looked at each one of them, whipping my head from side to side.

"Yes, Headmaster, she didn't do it," insisted Severus.

"We did it!" claimed Black.

"Shut up, the lot of you!" I screamed. "None of you believe me because you are all my friends! I have had the last laugh here! I got you all!" I lied loudly, hoping they would stop and let me take the blame. I made them understand with the look on my face. They all went quiet.

Dumbledore said, "I don't know what's going on here, but all of you are dismissed, except you, Miss Kinsington. All of you back to bed. You are all very lucky that she admitted to what she did. There will be no expulsions this night. Go now, all of you. I need to speak with Ellie alone."

They all hesitated, but filed out the door in a single line. Severus looked at me when he passed. His eyes said it all. He looked as if he might turn around and confess, but I looked him straight in the eyes and pleaded with him to go. He was the last to leave, walking slowly.

"Ellie, you will have to help Mr. Filch repair the damage that has been done. I have a feeling you will be very good at mending the gaps." I knew that he knew the truth, but he didn't say it. "Go back to your room and sleep. I no doubt believe you will want to record this in your journal."

_How does he know about that?_

"Yes sir, Professor. I am very sorry."

"Yes, well see to it that you apologize to all involved. They will no doubt like to hear it."

"Yes sir!" With that, I left.

_oooooooooo_

When I got back to the common room they were waiting for me.

"Ellie, are you ok?" asked Lupin.

"We are really sorry for that trick on Snape," said Black.

"You really saved our asses back there," commented James.

"We will do anything to make this up to you," insisted Black.

"Anything?" I asked. They nodded so I said, "Then be my friends, and let me also be friends with whomever I choose."

"Of course!" they chimed in unison, all looking very ashamed.

"I love you all very much, you know? You've all been like brothers to me, and I would do anything for the lot of you. Just understand that friends are there for each other, no matter what. No matter which house they come from," I lectured them. "I am very tired so I am off to bed. Never mention this to anyone, okay?" They nodded and I went to bed to write in my journal.

_oooooooooo_

I was feeling a bit angry with all the boys.

_Why did they have to be such gits?_ I held the journal a while before opening it.

"Are you there, Severus? Please answer me. I need to explain," I wrote.

"I'm here." I was relieved that he had written back.

"Can we talk?" I asked.

"Definitely. Are you okay?"

"No. Are you?" I asked.

"No," he replied.

"I swear I didn't know what they had planned."

"I know. I'm sorry for everything," he wrote. 

"I'm sorry too. Do you hate me?" I asked.

"I could never hate you. How could you ask me that?"

I wrote in response, "Well, it was just so awful and I missed you terribly."

"I need to see you," he wrote.

"I know. I can't wait until tomorrow."

"I mean now," he replied.

"Now? Where?" I asked.

Snape wrote, "Meet me outside the dungeons by the Potions classroom. Filch never goes down there this late. Wait ten minutes and bring your journal in case you run into trouble."

"Are you sure? All right, I will be there. Severus?"

"Yes?" he asked. 

"Please be careful! If you get caught, well, I don't even want to think about it!"

"I know, I will be. Listen, I know Potter has an invisibility cloak. He owes you enough to let you wear it. Go and get it from him. I can get one as well."

"Good idea. I am on my way," I answered.

"Ellie?"

"Yes?"

"I...will see you soon. Go now."

"Okay." I closed the journal and took it with me.

_oooooooooo_

I snuck up the charred boy's stairs and went to see James. I got inside his bed curtains and gave him a nudge. "James, wake up".

"What? Ellie...what's going on? Is there some kind of trouble?" he asked half asleep.

"No. I need to use your invisibility cloak for a minute. Come on, hurry!" I said quickly.

"What are you going to do?"

"Never you mind. Will you get it? I really need It," I said.

"Yeah, but be careful of Mr. Norris. I think she can smell you through it. Don't get caught, whatever it is that you're doing." He reached into his trunk and handed it to me. "Here, be careful, Ellie, I mean it!"

"Thanks, I will. I will give it back to you in the morning, ok?" I asked.

"Sure. Be quick about it. I'll never forgive myself if you get caught," he warned.

"Right then, I'm off." I wrapped the cloak around me and ran down the doors, through the common room, and out the portrait hole. I looked carefully for Filch and, when I decided it was clear, I scurried down the hall. It was a long walk to the dungeons from Gryffindor tower but I made it in no time.

_oooooooooo_

I realized we were both invisible so I wrote in the journal, "I'm here, where are you?"

"In the corner behind the screen," he wrote. I turned around and saw the screen. I waived my arm behind it and an invisible arm grabbed me and pulled me in. "Shh, it's me," he whispered.

We both took the cloaks off at the same time. "Severus," I whispered and then gave him a huge hug. "I'm so sorry."

"You shouldn't be because I believe you," he whispered in return. "Why did you lie to Dumbledore when you know that I did it?" he asked, seeming very worried.

"I couldn't let you get expelled. I don't want to be at Hogwarts without you! I thought for a moment that you would confess and I got really scared!" I said as I clung to him.

"You could have gotten _yourself_ expelled. I'm not worth it," he said sadly while stroking my hair.

"First of all, this was my first offense. I knew I wouldn't be expelled like the rest of you. I don't think Dumbledore believes me anyway. He seems to know everything but he let me take the blame. It's not that bad," I assured him. "Further more, you are very worth it. I can't bear the thought of being without you. Please don't be angry with me." I pulled back just a little and looked up at him.

"Ellie," he whispered, "I'm not angry with you, not even a little. I can't believe you did that for me! And Malfoy, he can't believe it either. I've never seen him admit to anything ever!"

"I was really surprised that he spoke up when he did. I thought for sure he'd be relieved and let me take the blame," I said. "What's gotten into him?"

"You," he replied with a tiny grin, "You have a way with people. You're just so very...good." He was looking at me deeply now and continued, "You are too good for Potter, Lupin and Black and...me."

"I'm not too good for anyone. Potter and especially Black can be real jerks, but they have also been very good friends to me when I have needed them. Lupin is much more mild mannered than them. They mean a lot to me. I hate that you lot are always at each other's throats."

He looked a little sad by what I had said. "Oh, I see." He looked jealous and sad all at once.

"Severus, it's not like that!" I assured, knowing what he was thinking. "They are like_ brothers_ to me. Very protective and idiotic brothers, but nothing more. Look at me, Severus," I requested gently, "I feel very differently about you."

"Oh? How is it that you feel for me?" he asked very shyly.

I leaned forward and kissed him once, very slowly on his lips. I pulled back a little to see his reaction. Then he pulled me back and kissed me. I felt my breath slip away. He was so very passionate and gentle. It had been so long since that night at the dance, when we had almost kissed, and we hadn't the nerve to try since. Our embrace tightened and our kisses become hungrier. I thought my heart would explode! We both needed to stop and catch our breath, so we pulled away a little and looked at each other.

I smiled bashfully and whispered, "Do you understand now?"

He pulled me close and kissed my forehead tenderly. "Yes, I see now. I will never doubt you again, I promise," he said seriously, barely above a whisper. "I will never ignore you or leave you alone again. I'm really sorry."

"I know, Severus. I don't want to pretend anymore. I don't care if the whole world sees us," I said. "I am tired of having so many secrets."

"No more secrets," he promised. "I only care what you think and no one else matters." He tilted my chin up to his and we kissed again. "Don't ever leave me. I couldn't bear it," he pleaded.

"I'll never leave you, Severus, not ever," I whispered gently as he held me close. We held on to each other for a long time.

"We should go back to our dorms. Filch will be making his rounds soon," he advised.

I looked at him and frowned. He could read my mind and whispered, "I don't want to either, but we have both been in a lot of trouble tonight." I agreed with a nod. He kissed me once more and then put the cloak around me leaving my head out. "We can go to Hogsmeade tomorrow, it's Saturday. Meet me around 10 okay, just outside the entrance to the castle."

I smiled happily. "That's only five hours, but it seems like forever." I kissed his cheek. "I'll be there, Goodnight."

"See you soon. I miss you already," he said as he kissed my hand. "Hurry now, I think he's coming." He pulled the cloak over my head and then put his on. We both rushed back to our dorms.

When I got back to bed, I tucked James's cloak under my pillow and looked at my journal.

_Should I open it?_

I opened it to find he had already written, "You should be sleeping."

I giggled and replied, "I am."

"Having a good dream?"

"The best ever," I wrote.

"Really, tell me quickly what it's about."

"You Severus, it will always be you."

"Promise?"

"With all my heart..." I closed the diary and dreamed of him...

TO BE CONTINUED...

* * *

A/N I hope that wasn't too sappy, but it makes me smile. Please review! 


	5. Chapter Five: My Little Secret

* * *

**

Chapter 5: My Little Secret

**

When I woke up in Snape's bedroom in the morning, he was lying there beside me and we were on our sides facing each other. He was the very first thing my eyes saw that day as I smiled sleepily at him.

"Did I wake you?" he asked.

"No," I responded quietly, "I was just having the most amazing dream."

"You talk in your sleep you know," he relayed. "How are you feeling?"

_I wonder what I said? Does he know I was dreaming about our first kiss?_

I wasn't about to ask him, so I replied, "Rested. Is it late?"

"Hm," he hummed sizing me up, "It's early. I think we can make it to breakfast. You should get up."

"All right." I sat slowly and began to stretch. I wanted to stay in bed with him all day just as we were. "Did I keep you up all night?"

"No, I slept rather well, actually," he replied, getting out of the bed. "I will bring your potion to breakfast and you can drink it then. Try standing a bit."

I slid my feet carefully to the floor and steadied myself before taking my hands off the bed. I seemed much stronger than I had yesterday but I was still a little weak. "Whew," I sighed, "I never knew it could be so exhausting to get out of bed."

"Do you think you can manage?" he asked stiffly.

"I think so. The Great Hall seems very far, so I will have to walk slowly. If you want, you can go ahead. I know you hate it when I 'dawdle about'.

"As true as that may be, I think it better if you do not try it alone. I would hate to discover you sprawled out on the ground with students trampling over you, like some sort of human doormat," he spat. _So much for a truce, eh Sev?_

"What a lovely mental image," I voiced, walking slowly through his office.

We made our way slowly through the corridor and up the dungeon steps. I nearly fell backward on the last step, but he stopped my fall.

"Watch it!" he snapped. "Here, take my arm," he demanded.

I took his arm and grumbled angrily, "It's not as if I meant to do it! Do you think I'm enjoying being coddled about as if I'm some little child?"

"Kinsington, I suggest that you conserve your available energy for walking, and keep your flapping jaws shut!"

I bit my tongue to keep the insults from spewing out of my mouth. We finally made it to the back entrance of the hall and I let go of his arm. He opened the door for me and watched as I entered and took my seat. He nodded at Dumbledore before taking his seat to my left.

"Ellie, dear, I see that Professor Snape has taken excellent care of you. I am so glad to see that you have returned to us." Dumbledore smiled very warmly at me, then at Severus.

"Thank you, Professor Dumbledore, I am glad to be back. Professor Snape was quite accommodating." I smiled pleasantly at Severus. "I am sorry that I made such a spectacle of myself. I assure you that it will not happen again."

"Ah, not at all, Ellie, not at all. Everyone needs to go-around-the-bend now and then. I find it rather therapeutic myself, every thirty years or so." Dumbledore's eyes gleamed behind his half moon spectacles.

I laughed a little.

_He is such a wonderful old man._

Severus pulled a vial out of his robes and held it at me. "See that you drink this," he said sternly.

I took it, thanked him graciously, and poured it into my empty goblet. I made certain to eat as much as possible, because I knew everyone in the room was watching me closely. I looked over at the Gryffindor table and smiled at Harry and his friends. "I'm okay," I mouthed at them. They looked relieved then went on about their meals. When it was over, and I had eaten enough for two grown men, I prepared to leave and go about my day as normal. Severus caught me outside the door.

"We shall have a discussion tonight during your lesson, as we both have a great many things to discuss." Snape was being so formal. "Try not to overexert yourself today. You are still rather weak."

I nodded and we went on our separate ways. I couldn't forget that we had kissed last night.

_Does he regret kissing me? Will he ever do it again?_

I hoped that, once I had had my say, he would not hate me. He had to understand. He had to know that it was the only way.

_

oooooooooo

_

I was nervous all day and could barely concentrate. It was time for me to go to him and tell him everything that had happened all those years ago after I had disappeared. I didn't know how I was going to do it, but the time had come when I had to try. I opened the door and went to him and before I could say a word, he handed me a cup of potion.

"This first, then we shall begin," he commanded. I drank it all down and then he asked, "Would you like to sit by the fire, or would you prefer to talk outside in the garden?"

"I don't know…let's start in the garden."

"Fine, wear this." He held out one of his cloaks for me to wear. "Ready?"

"No, but I will try." We walked out of the castle and into the garden. We stood under a tree that had a bench and I closed my eyes and said all at once, "What I am about to tell you, I suspect you already know, parts of it at least. Try not to stop me because I have to get it out. Once I've started, I will have to finish. Are you sure you want to hear this?" I opened my eyes.

"Not really, but I won't stop you." He stopped talking and I understood that he wanted me to begin.

"When I was little, I never understood why The Guardians hated me so. It all began when I could barely walk. They kept me hidden in the basement for most of my life and I had my schooling there also. Hogwarts was the first time I had ever been with other children. Sir and Madam were very strict, so much so, that I wasn't allowed to speak without their permission."

I paused and took a breath. "They would punish me severely for the very smallest infraction. I remember once I forgot to put my books back on the shelf in alphabetical order. That was the way they demanded it be kept at all times. I was four; that was the first time it happened. Sir used one of the books to hit me in the head and he sent me across the room." I winced as I thought of it.

"That was the easiest he ever went on me. It got far worse after that. Sometimes I wouldn't do anything at all. Sir would beat me with anything he could find. After the really bad beatings, the ones where I had broken bones, Madam would hire a private doctor to tend to me. Madam never laid a hand on me, but she never did anything to stop him." I was beginning to pace and wring my hands.

"It got so bad that my nose would bleed nearly all the time, even if I hadn't been hit that day. Occasionally I would have to be taken to the hospital. Understand that at the time, I had no idea what Muggles were. I thought we were all just ordinary people. I know now that I saw only Muggle doctors and Muggle hospitals." I paused and thought about how to say what I had to next.

"I got used to the pain and the beatings, but when I was nine…Sir started…touching me inappropriately. I was so scared! I didn't understand what he was doing and, if I tried to fight him, he would beat me unconscious. Madam didn't care what he did to me. The Guardians were supposed to be my mum and dad, so I thought I had to obey them, no matter what!" I became weak and sat limply on the bench. Severus sat next to me but did not say a word.

"When I came to Hogwarts, and found out that I had all these powers, it didn't make any sense," I continued. "Why hadn't I been able to fight them? I could do the most amazing things, but I could never fight them. When I was in Egypt a few summers ago, I came across some old documents on sorcery."

I paused for a very long time. I was shaking now. I looked at him as if I was shocked by the words coming out of my mouth. "Did you know that a Sorceress is _powerless_ against Squibs that are related by blood?" I asked rhetorically.

Severus looked at me in amazement and remarked, "_Powerless_? I never knew."

I said very hauntingly, "Oh…but they knew…The Guardians knew all those years! They never said a word! When I found out that day in class that I was a Sorceress, I thought I was finally safe! They couldn't hurt me anymore! Not after what I had done to Malfoy!" I stood up again and began pacing.

"But I was wrong! I didn't understand it! I tried to fight him but nothing happened!" Severus came to me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

"Ellie," he whispered, "you were only a child. It was not your fault."

"No! I was a Sorceress! I should have been able to fight them! I didn't know that I couldn't!" I shook my head and continued, "The Guardians held me prisoner for years and I could do nothing! I hated myself for letting Sir touch me, but I stopped fighting because it was just easier that way. I gave up trying to defend myself and just let it happen!" I was feeling very weak and ill all of the sudden.

"Oh gods! I just couldn't run away from them." I started to get dizzy. "I think I'm going to be sick." He took me in his arms and did not let me fall. "Please, just make them stop! I can't run from them anymore!" I sobbed as he held me.

"Stop now," Snape directed calmly, "Don't say anymore. You are still very weak. You need to come back inside and lie down." I couldn't look at him. I was inconsolable at this point.

"No!" I cried. "That's not all of it!"

"You can tell me later. You have to stop and come inside with me now," he said a little firmer, trying to get me to walk. "Come on, we shall have some tea and give you a moment to collect your thoughts; just take a break for a while," he cajoled. "It is going to take more than one night for you to tell me everything."

I made no response. How could he ever look at me the way he used to when we were young, and our love strong? He always thought I was so perfect and pure. I was soiled and vacant inside; not even a shadow of the girl he had loved. I did not fight Snape as he guided me into the castle and to his office. I walked trance-like to the ottoman and sat down staring at the fire.

"Just a minute, I am going to prepare the tea," he informed. I have no recollection of him handing me the teacup or of his sitting down beside me. "I always knew that things were very disagreeable at home for you. I had no idea just how bad it really was. Why did you not tell me this when we were in school?

"How could I? I never wanted to look in your eyes and see pity. The way you used to look at me, Severus, as if I was really someone special...I didn't want you to know that you were wrong."

He looked at me sternly, and then shook his head. "You have no idea how amazing you are." He placed his hand on top of mine.

"Don't say that! I haven't told you everything yet. You won't even look at me when I have finished telling you what I've done," I stressed.

"I think you have had more than enough of this tonight. Why don't you go to bed and rest? It will be easier for you to tell me this later."

"I can't sleep, Severus."

"You can, and you will," he ordered.

"Please, just leave me be. I will go back to my rooms in a minute."

"No, you will not! You will stay here with me tonight. I do not think it is wise for you to be alone in your current state of mind, woman."

"No. I have bothered you for long enough."

"You will do as I say, or I shall make you," he threatened, but not to forcefully.

"I would like to see you try," I spat.

"As you wish, Kinsington."

He swept me up in his arms and carried me to bed. I was so astonished by his actions that I didn't fight it.

_He's so strong! Those black robes of his don't do him justice._

"_Retracto_," he spelled and the covers peeled back. He placed me in his bed, so that my head and shoulders were propped up on several pillows. He went to his dresser, removed a black, silk night shirt and came back to me.

"Kinsington, I am going to go to my office for a minute and, when I return, I expect you to have changed into this. It will be more comfortable than that dress you are wearing. I will bring you your potion and you will drink it. You will do as I say, or suffer the consequences." He was instructing as if I was one of his students. I couldn't help but give a small laugh and he seemed pleased. "Hm, now you have precisely five minutes before I return, so I suggest you make haste." He turned on his heels and retreated to his office, closing the doors behind him.

I marveled at his composure. He always could get me to do things for my own good, no matter how I tried to protest. The night shirt, which would hang just past his hips, was long enough to fall just below mid-thigh on me. I had never worn his clothes before and I must say I rather enjoyed it.

_oooooooooo_

I had just repositioned myself on the bed when he returned. Even though I had been recently emaciated, I was still a very shapely woman. My legs were long and lean and smooth. I wondered if he would notice? Since our school days, I had grown slightly taller and had gotten curvier in all the right places and my long, wavy, golden hair had grown to just past the middle of my back. It softly cascaded down my back and shoulders in soft, silky curls.

His eyes traveled from my head to my toes, drinking me in. He realized I had caught him looking at me, as I sipped my cup with a smirk. He turned around quickly to look at the fire across the room.

"I see that you have followed my instruction, Kinsington." He turned back to me. He reached down past my feet and drew the blankets up to cover me, stopping at my waist. "I am pleased to see that you seem to be more…relaxed."

I was grinning now as I looked in his eyes. "Yes, Professor, your instructions were carried out to the letter." I sipped my potion and continued, "Thank you for taking control of the situation."

"Hm, yes. I can get another blanket from the wardrobe, if you so desire."

_Why don't you keep me warm, Snape?_

"I am quite all right, thank you. This potion tastes different from the others. Is it?" I asked, just realizing that it was sweeter than before.

"I have added some honey to it for I know that you always preferred your beverages to be sweet. I am rather surprised that you never added it yourself."

"That is very thoughtful of you, Severus. It tastes much better," I thanked.

"Would you like something to eat? Dinner was a long time ago."

"I'm not all that hungry. I can make it until morning, thanks," I respectfully declined.

He grinned mysteriously and then inquired, "Not even for…a bit of…chocolate?"

He had my attention now! Chocolate was my weakness. I absolutely adored it!

"Oh you wouldn't tease me, now would you, Professor?" I pretended to be horrified at the thought of it. "You know how I feel about chocolate!"

"When have you ever known me to tease, Kinsington?" he posed.

He knew full well that he had many times before. He then picked up a small silver platter that was covered by a dark green table linen. "If you're not hungry then…" he uncovered the platter to reveal a dozen, tiny, bite-sized chocolate cupcakes, "I shall have to dispose of these."

"Are those…chocolate cupcakes?" I asked, now leaning forward off the pillows with great curiosity.

"How very astute you are, Kinsington. Chocolate cupcakes, filled with chocolate cream, with chocolate icing, and chocolate…dilly's."

"Dilly's?" I asked half laughing.

"You know, these little tiny pieces of whatever that are speckled on top?" he said flustered.

I laughed and replied, "I believe they are called 'sprinkles', Professor."

"How very descriptive. Anyway, since you are not hungry…" He withdrew the plate and made as if to cover them up.

"You will give them to me now!" I demanded.

"Manners, Kinsington, where are your manners?" he admonished, shaking his head.

"Please?" I begged, clasping my hands together like a child asking for permission. "I really want them."

He relented and held the platter to me so that I could take one and I greedily went to grab the platter itself. Snape continued shaking his head so I let go of it and took two cupcakes, smiling excitedly. I so loved chocolate! I could have crammed them in my mouth, but decided instead to act like a lady and nibble them.

"See that you do not make a mess of the sheets! The house elves will think I have gone mad eating in bed," he hissed as he put the platter back on his table. "Are they to your liking?"

"What sort of a question is that? They are delicious!" I said emphatically. "Thank you for spoiling me so."

He raised his eyebrow and gave me a nasty scowl. "I am simply trying to fatten you up a bit. Now, if you are quite finished, it is time for bed."

"Are you coming?" I asked, hoping he would join me again.

"Is that what you want?"

I nodded 'yes' rather shyly, trying not to blush. "Right." He extinguished all the torches and made his way to the bed. He hesitated a moment, but then took off his robes. He looked at me again and then removed his shirt. The years had been good to him, very good indeed. He was surprisingly firm and chiseled. He sat on the bed and removed his boots, then climbed under the covers with me.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked.

Although I was a bit hot and bothered, which made me uncomfortable in a way, I whispered, "Yes, Severus. Are you?"

"Mostly." I hoped he was uncomfortable in the same way that I was. We faced each other as we had this morning. We just stared into each other's eyes. I wanted to spring myself upon him, but thought better of it.

"I still cannot believe how incredibly beautiful you are," he whispered. "I am always amazed when I look at you. Every single time."

I felt myself flush with heat. "Severus," I whispered breathlessly.

I nervously reached out to touch his face. He held my hand to his face and closed his eyes and then he drew my hand to his lips and kissed it delicately, then each of my fingers in turn. I let out a small shivering gasp. He opened his eyes, and I could see how badly he wanted me. He pulled me to him and I went limp in his embrace as he showered my face with gentle kisses.

"Are you all right?" he asked hoarsely.

"I can't believe how it feels to be in your arms again. I never thought I would ever see you again. I haven't been all right." A single tear slowly started down my cheek. He kissed it away. "I am so sorry, Severus, I never wanted to leave you."

He traced his hand around my face and down my neck. "Do not cry anymore. I hate to see it," he paused and kissed my cheek. "If only you had told me, I would never have thought any less of you. You were everything to me." Snape looked so sad and lost just like me. "Everything," he whispered as he slowly brushed his lips on mine.

Kissing now, our lips parted and our tongues met. "Ellie," he moaned, pressing himself to me as our kisses became more heated.

I was consumed with him when I felt his hand slide cautiously under my night shirt to caress my breasts. He started to undo the first two buttons of the night shirt, while I ran my hands through his long dark hair, all the while kissing him passionately. He left my lips to kiss his way down my neck and chest. No one had ever touched me like this before, and I was beginning to feel the rest of the word fade away, aware only of him and his touch. I took hold of his waist and pulled his hips to me. I could feel his excitement was as great as mine.

I felt as if I were on fire with want for him! A moan escaped my lips. We ceased our kissing and panted breathlessly, staring into each other's eyes. Our eye contact did not break as he slid his hand down my stomach, and grasped the hip of my panties. We kissed as he peeled them off me slowly, while I began unbuttoning his pants. In the distance, I thought I heard a faint knocking, but he didn't seem to hear it and, so I dismissed it. Then he stopped suddenly, now aware of a definite pounding from his office door. We pulled away from each other and listened to the sound that was now more pronounced.

"Something must be going on. Let me go and see about it." He rose quickly from the bed and re-buttoned his pants while walking to his wardrobe. He threw on a shirt and went into his office, closing the door behind him. I re-buttoned the night shirt and sat very quietly. I knew that we should not be discovered in this manner.

A moment late, he rushed back into the room. "Hermione Granger has been found petrified near the library," he informed, a look of great concern was in his eyes. "The Headmaster has called me to the hospital wing." He put on his usual flowing black robes and then sat on the bed beside me as he put on his boots. "Potter and Weasley are with her now."

"My gods, Severus! This is getting out of control!" I was astounded.

"I fear that you are indeed correct. The heir of Slytherin must be found immediately." He looked at me gravely. "I must go at once. I shall return when I am able, but I haven't any idea when that might be."

"I'm going back to my rooms and then to Gryffindor tower. McGonagall will no doubt need my help in looking after the children," I said and began to rise. " Severus, this is terrible!" I was scared to death. "If anything should happen to any of these children…I won't even think of it.

"Nothing will happen," he assured, reading my thoughts. "I will see to that." He left nearly running.

I ripped off the night shirt and threw my clothes back on in a terrible hurry. I tore out of the dungeons, sprinting back to my rooms, hurled the doors open, and changed into my school robes. Then I ran to the portrait of the Fat Lady and spat out, "lions and broomsticks." She opened to reveal the hole to the common room and climbed in quickly. When I entered the common room, the students were all there.

I addressed all of them, "What are you all doing out of bed?"

"We can't sleep," informed Seamus Finnegan. "What if the heir of Slytherin comes in here?"

"That's rubbish," I stated. "Well, since you are all awake, let's have some fun, shall we?"

I walked to the middle of them.

"Come everyone, sit down in a circle and gather close to your friends. We'll have a snack and talk a bit." I motioned them to sit. They found places with their friends and did so.

"Everyone, hold out your hands now, come on." I smiled at them and chimed, "_Pumpkin juice_," waving my hand in around the room. Goblets began to appear in their hands. I heard 'oo's' and 'aah's' from the children. They had never seen me use my magic before.

"Now, place your cups on the ground beside you and think of your favorite snack. Hold out your hands again." I bellowed, "_Fancies for the fans_," and treats began to appear of all sorts. "Now that is much better." I smiled very pleased with myself, looking at their happy amazed faces.

"Miss Kinsington, how did you do that without your wand?" asked Neville Longbottom, marveling at the chocolate frogs in his hand.

"Ah, yes. I don't have a wand Neville." I smiled secretively. "I am a Sorceress." I paused while the children talked among them selves excitedly. "I don't need a wand for my magic."

"Does Professor Dumbledore know?" asked Seamus.

"Of course he knows, Seamus, all the teachers do because most of them were my teachers when I was a student at Hogwarts. I was a Gryffindor too, you know?" I smiled proudly and continued, "I knew many of your parents at school. I was particularly good friend with James Potter, Harry's dad. I even knew Professor Snape, can you believe that?" They all seemed very interested.

"Did you know my mum and dad?" Neville timidly asked.

"Yes I did. Alice was a several years ahead of me but I recall that she was excellent in Arithmancy and your dad was the best in Herbology. He could make even the most stubborn plants grow to the size of a small house." Neville looked very proud. "And your dad, Alicia… he once brewed a sleeping draft so perfect and powerful, that the entire Potions class slept for hours, until Dumbledore himself had to wake us."

Everyone was giggling so I kept on going. "Let's not forget your mum, Wood. She once summoned the whole contents of an ice cream parlor all the way from Hogsmeade during a Halloween feast. She was the most popular girl in the castle that night. Dumbledore was delighted to have a gallon of rum raisin all to himself."

I laughed loudly with the rest of them. We were having quite a time as I went around the room, telling secrets about their parents' school days. We had all nearly forgotten why we were there, when the portrait opened to let in Harry, Ron, and Professor McGonagall. The room became quiet again as all eyes turned to watch the three enter.

"Miss Kinsington, what brings you here at such a late hour?" asked McGonagall in surprise.

"Oh, uhm...just chatting with the students," I replied innocently.

She turned to the students and said, "It is time to return to your beds! Come on now."

"I am going to stay in the common room tonight, Minerva." She nodded approvingly. "It had been ages since I had the honor of staying in Gryffindor tower."

I turned to face the students and said, "You heard the Professor. Now, all of you, to bed. I shall take care of the mess. Go on now." And just to make them all at ease, I jokingly said, "_Abracadabra_," and the empty plates and cups vanished. They giggled and began to make their ways to their dorms. I turned to Professor McGonagall and exclaimed, "I love it here."

"I can see that. So they all know I take it?" she asked, referring to my being a Sorceress. I smiled and nodded. We are all to meet with the Headmaster after breakfast to discuss what is to be done next." She was very serious all of the sudden. "If we can't control thins, Hogwarts may close."

"Hogwarts can't close!" I exclaimed.

"Let us pray that it does not come to be," she replied. "I shall see you in the morning. Goodnight, Ellie." She left and I took a seat by the fire.

I wondered if Snape was doing the same thing in the Slytherin common room at this very moment. I knew he was. I imagined what would have happened between us had this not occurred. He would have made love to me for the very first time, after all these years of waiting. I would wait for eternity for him. I had loved him for nearly twenty years, and I would love him for a hundred more. As I sat by the fire, I remembered the first time we had told each other of our love, so many years ago…

* * *

It was my sixth Christmas since I had come to Hogwarts. This year, I was allowed to remain at the castle while The Guardians were in Romania on business, which meant that I would finally have a Christmas that wouldn't involve a near death experience. Sir had been getting bolder when he would come to me in the night and I knew it was only a matter of time until he would have his way with me. It sickened me to think that he would take from me the only thing I could give to the man I loved.

Someday, I wanted to be with Severus, and I dreamed that I would be his wife and the mother of his children. If Sir succeeded in ruining me, I would not be good enough for Severus, and would run far away where he could never find me. I would never be able to look Severus in the eyes again. But I would not dwell on this now. I was to be with him for the entire holiday.

As I watched the students leave the castle on their way to Hogsmeade on Christmas Eve, I started to feel happy. Christmas was in the air and for the very first time I was full of its cheer. I made my way to the Great Hall for dinner. I was pleasantly surprised that the house tables had been moved aside and a single, small table had been placed in its center. It was festively decorated with table linens of red and green, with snow falling from the enchanted ceiling that never quite fell all the way down. I was joined by Dumbledore, several of the teachers, a few odd first and second year students and, of course, Severus.

We waited for the teachers to be seated, then Severus and I took our seats at the end of the table next to each other. We exchanged a fleeting glimpse at one another and I cracked a grin.

"Happy Christmas to all," pronounced Dumbledore happily and the food appeared.

How delicious it all looked! I had ham and roast potatoes, in a rich cheese sauce, and Severus had fried chicken and corn pudding. When the desserts appeared my eyes became wide. So many to choose from! Cookies, cakes, pies, and puddings; it was all a bit overwhelming. I sat and stared unable to make a decision. I felt a nudge from my left and saw Severus put a chocolate fudge cookie, and a sliver of triple chocolate tart, on my plate. How well he knew me. Chocolate was my biggest weakness. He grinned slyly at the look of delight on my face as I smiled, and took a large bite out of the cookie.

"I hope that you all enjoy your stay at the castle this Christmas. We are delighted to have you all as our guests," said Dumbledore. "Miss Kinsington, Mr. Snape, I have a favor to ask of you." We looked at each other and then back to Dumbledore.

"The tree near the main entrance is in desperate need of decoration. It is looking very sad indeed. Since you are the oldest students here on holiday, I would like it very much if the two of you could manage to make it look a bit more festive. Mr. Filch has informed me that there are several boxes of ornaments in a closet room in the dungeons. It is rather dangerous down there, and I am afraid the younger students are not as prepared to deal with it, as are the two of you. Would you please consider it?" finished Dumbledore.

"I will agree to it, if Miss Kinsington finds it to be satisfactory," said Severus very formally.

"Yes Mr. Snape, I believe that would be quite all right," I agreed.

"Delightful," Dumbledore replied, "you may begin this evening after dinner."

We nodded in agreement and everyone left the room he and I walked together.

"I have never decorated a Christmas tree before," I squealed.

"Really? Well it is all a bit tedious if you ask me."

"Why did you agree to it then? You could have said no."

"Don't you know?" he asked matter-of-factly.

"Why don't you tell me?"

He stopped and turned to face me. "Because, this means we have an excuse to be together, all alone, while everyone else is in their dorms."

I turned pink and smiled shyly. "Oh, I see. You want me all alone, do you?"

He stepped closer and took my hands. "Why else would I have agreed to stay at the castle this Christmas? You are here, and I promised to never leave you alone, remember?"

"How could I forget? Come on, let's go see what surprises the old Squib has for us in the dungeons." I pulled him along holding his hand.

When we got there he stopped abruptly at the door. "What's wrong?" I asked.

He looked up and I saw the mistletoe hanging above the arch of the door, then he leaned forward and kissed me sweetly on the lips. "I always wanted to try that," he mentioned and then kissed me again. "I think I should open the door, lest a boggart jump out and attack you," he offered valiantly. He opened the door, peeked, inside, and then pulled me in quickly behind him, giving a little wink as he shut the door behind us. He hugged me and kissed my cheek. "This place is a disaster. Don't go opening anything that looks suspicious without showing it to me first."

The room was full of all sorts of wonders. There was an old cauldron that had a huge crack on one side, but was hot to the touch. Severus was busy looking at an old broomstick that had hair where the bristles should be. "I've found one I think," I called out as I came across a box marked 'holiday moons and stars'. Always the cautious one, Snape made his way to me to examine the box.

"Let me have a look." He pulled out his wand and intoned, "_Revealo_." The box opened and tiny glimmering moons and star ornaments appeared. "How very gaudy," he hissed with a look of distaste on his face. I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head. "What about that one there?" He pointed to a box of similar size in the corner. "_Revealo_," he said again, while pointing his wand and walking over to it. "Now that is more like it."

I came to meet him and to look inside the box which was stuffed full of small, realistic-looking snake ornaments. "What?" he asked.

"It's adorable the way you love such hideous creatures as if they were a bunch of fluffy kittens," I teased. "You are so cute." I grinned girlishly as he looked at me, seeming offended and embarrassed at the same time. I wrapped my arms around his waist and smiled up at him. "Don't be cross with me. I'm only teasing."

He took my face in his hands and whispered, "You're evil," and kissed me sweetly. "Let's get started searching again before the dust gets any thicker in here." After a quick peck on the lips we started opening boxes again. It took us hours to find them all in the disarray, but we finally had them neatly stacked by the door. "_Locomotor boxes_," Snape chimed and the boxes hovered, waiting to follow us out. "It's stuck," he complained as he pulled on the door, "I can't-get-it-open."

"Maybe it's just locked. Here, let me try. _Alohomora_!" I said. He tried it again but it didn't budge. "Put the boxes down and we'll try it together."

He did and we chimed, "_Alohomora_." It still wouldn't budge.

"We're trapped in here, I think."

Not sounding at all worried Severus said, "It would appear so. Well, I can't Apparate in the castle, and I haven't a key or a blasting stick or anything, so…you are stuck with me."

"I can think of no one else I would rather be trapped in a filthy, smelly, crowded old closet with." I joked, but it was very true. "Well, there are loads of things to look at in here. We can entertain ourselves with that."

"I can think of better ways to entertain you than that," he retorted smugly with a grin.

"Really?" I challenged, backing off a bit. He leaned forward to kiss me but I backed up giggling and took off play running about the room. "You'll never catch me! I'm far too clever for the likes of you!" I yelled in a singsong play voice.

"When I catch you, I'll…I'll… you better run!" he threatened, trying to sound all mean, but I could see he was greatly amused. He chased me around tables and cauldrons in an overly dramatic way, always letting me escape. Finally, I gave up and let him catch me in a corner near a very large mirror. "I have you now! Prepare to meet your fate, Kinsington!"

I laughed heartily and pretended to struggle. He stopped playing and looked a little worried. He let go of my wrists, which he had pinned over my head against the wall. He then took me slowly into his arms and kissed my lips firmly. I hugged him a little tighter to me. "I didn't hurt your wrists did I?" He sounded concerned.

"No, I was just playing! Don't be silly, Severus, I'm not that fragile. I can take Malfoy, can't I?"

"Hm, yes you can." He looked impressed at this memory. "I have never seen anything like it since. I am fairly certain that he had to change his shorts that day." A silly smile appeared on his face at the thought of Malfoy wetting himself. He released me from our embrace and took my hand, guiding me out of the corner.

He stopped and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He tilted his head, looked at me, and then looked back at his reflection. He stood there for a good while then said, "Here, have a look." He stepped away from the mirror and I stood where he had been.

"What?" I saw my reflection, but it was different: I was older. My hair was much longer and I was wearing a crown. Severus appeared beside me. He too was older. Then four, lovely, black-haired children with beautiful blue eyes appeared between us.

_Is this showing me the future? I hope so._

I stared at it for a long time before turning to Severus. "Is it showing us the future?" I asked him, inwardly very hopeful that it was.

"Not exactly. This is the Mirror of Erised. I read that it shows your innermost hearts desires," he said thoughtfully. "Let's go and sit down over there. We will be here for some time." He walked me over to a clear area by a small window. "_Scourgify_" He magically cleaning a spot on the floor. He sat down and beckoned me to do the same. He took off his robes and used it like a blanket to cover us.

"Severus, what did you see in the mirror?" I wondered if it had shown him the same thing.

"Nothing I didn't know already," he admitted tenderly. I laid my head on his shoulder and he kissed my forehead. "I saw you, both of us, actually. We were together."

"So did I! We were older," I whispered. I tilted my head up to see into his eyes. He looked very serious. "Are you okay? You look sort of sad."

"What you saw in the mirror…what do you think about that?" He seemed a little worried that I might say something awful.

I looked into his eyes and put my hand on his cheek. "That is all I want. I want to be with you always."

"You don't have to say that." He snapped.

"I'm not just saying it, Severus, I really mean it." I felt myself blush and my heart skipped a beat.

"Since the day I first saw you, I have wanted to be with you. I'm sorry that I was so mean to you and I promise that I didn't mean it. I was so stupid," he hissed.

"I didn't care that you were mean to me," I assured him.

"Ellie, I…I love you."

_He loves me!!!_

My heart leapt at these words. I had wanted to tell him for so long and now I could.

"And I love you too, Severus." I was nearly crying overcome with emotion.

_How can I be so lucky?_

I wasn't alone and I wasn't afraid! The Guardians be damned! I kissed him as if it was the first time I had I seen daylight as tears began to run down my face.

He stopped kissing me and asked, "What is it? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, I'm happier than I have been in all my life," I whispered.

He wiped the tears from my face tenderly with his hand, kissing my cheeks after each wipe. "You deserve to be happy. I will spend every day, for the rest of my life, making certain that you are. I will love you forever."

"Promise?" I asked hopefully.

"Oh, yes. I promise." We kissed each other slowly and deeply. "Ellie Kinsington, I will love you till the day I die."

We fell asleep together in each other's arms that night. On Christmas morning the door was no longer stuck. I always thought Dumbledore had something to do with it…

TO BE CONTINUED...

* * *

A/N: 

I want to thank those of you again who have encouraged me with your reviews.

ATTENTION: REVIEWS WANTED!!!!!!!!!!


	6. Chapter Six: It Was All A Lie

* * *

**

Chapter 6: It Was All a Lie

**

It was early morning and all was quiet in Gryffindor tower and when the students began to arrive in the common room, I was greeted with zest. Everyone wanted to talk to me about my being a Sorceress and thank me for staying with them last night. I went to breakfast walking with Harry and Ron.

"Ellie, do you know what's going on? I mean, do you have any idea who the heir of Slytherin might be?" Harry asked.

"We thought it was Malfoy at first but, er...he...um, checked out," said Ron, looking shiftily at Harry.

"I could have told you it wasn't Malfoy. His dad went here, you know, so it would have happened then too. I swear that I have no idea who it is," I assured them.

"Well then, I guess that rules out Snape too," Harry muttered, sounding disappointed. "I wish Hermione were here. We could really use her right now."

"She will be back very soon, I promise. I know you two are, shall we say, detectives of sorts, but if you go looking for trouble be ready for it. Your parents would have killed me if I let anything happen to you, Harry! And yours too, Ron!" I warned. "Never let your guard down. Promise me."

"I promise," said Harry.

"Me too," repeated Ron.

"Now, go stuff yourselves silly and have a good time causing mischief." I winked. "I will see you both later." As they started to walk away I said covertly, "Oh, and give Filch a bit of hell for me, would you. Mind Mrs. Norris though, she can smell you through the cloak." They laughed, looking a little shocked, and went to their table.

After breakfast and the meeting with Dumbledore, I went back to my rooms to get some sleep. I had been up all night and I didn't have to teach today. I had just nodded off when I got a knock on my door. I was so tired and I didn't want to get up, so I yelled, "Come on in. It's not locked."

"Do you think it wise to sleep with an open door, Kinsington? Any sort of evil could just walk right in," he snapped in a rather foul way.

"Any sort of evil just did!" I snapped back. "I am exhausted! I am closing my eyes now."

"Agitated are you? Well I will make this brief. You will not have a lesson tonight because I have an errand to perform for the headmaster. If you desire, you may turn in the reports before you make the potions tomorrow," he dictated. "I have something I need to return to you." He held up a pair of black lace panties. "I found these under my pillow this morning."

I turned dark crimson and covered my eyes with my hands. I was so embarrassed! I had torn out of there in such a fright that I had forgotten he had removed them. "Just throw them...over there...somewhere." I was mortified!

"Hm, yes well, I must go. Longbottom is in my next class and if I don't hurry, there will be no class left to teach. Sleep well." He turned on his heels and strode out of the room, locking the door behind him.

"That went well," I sighed, "I must have left my brain under his pillow as well."

I was kicking myself for my forgetfulness. How very formal he had been. He must have realized that he made a mistake last night almost making love to me. I let out a huge sigh as I fell back onto the pillows.

_I told him horrible things about myself last night and he had time to let it all sink in. He thinks I'm dirty and used. Maybe I shouldn't have told him? If he thinks that badly of me now, just wait until I tell him the really bad parts. I had only scratched the surface._

I forced myself to stop thinking and get some sleep. Eventually, I drifted off...

_ooooo_ **Dream sequence** _ooooo_

...I was with the baby boy with dark hair and green eyes...we were side by side as a green light enveloped us. Screams filled the air and the baby was gone...I was alone in the basement; all was quiet and dark...I heard footsteps and a familiar voice. SIR.

"You thought you were clever, didn't you wretch? Madam is gone forever now. She can't help you anymore," he laughed maniacally. "You lusty little whore. Oh you'll taste so sweet." He pounded my face with his fist.

"Scream all you like, no one can hear you." He hit me again and ripped my blouse. "Try to run, I'll find you! You'll pay for making me wait!" He threw me to the stone floor and kicked me again and again in the side and head.

He pressed his knee to my throat and twisted it, grinding me into the rough, cold floor. I couldn't breathe! Blood was spewing out of my mouth and nose as I tried to breathe. He threw a dirty rag at me. "Clean yourself up, bitch! Make yourself nice and pretty for me. You're gonna love it, you know? Just wait till I get back!" I heard his footsteps; the thuds growing softer and softer as he climbed the steps.

I gasped for breath and tried to pull myself up. "AHHH!" I cried. My body was terribly wrong. My right eye was swollen shut and my head was spinning. I dragged my body across the floor, ripping my skin on the sharp stones.

_I'm not stopping._

I reached the first stair. I pulled and dragged myself up for what had to be hours. I slid a few steps down and cried out in agony. I sobbed weakly as I made my way back to the top then I forced the door open and crawled into the kitchen, leaving a trail of blood behind me.

Sir came running and kicked me in my stomach and ribs, then grabbed me by the hair, dragged me over to the table, and slammed me down on it. I screamed out in pain again and then spit blood in his eyes. Sir slapped me and I fell back. He pulled my head up by the hair and slammed it into the table, again and again. One hand squeezed my throat. With the other, he reached up my skirt and ripped off my underwear.

"NO!" I choked out with all my might.

He laughed and proclaimed, "You're gonna love it! I can tell you want it." Letting go of my neck, Sir pulled down his pants and forced himself into me. I blacked out.

My eyes came slowly back into focus. I had a knife. I knew what to do...

_oooooooooo_

"NOOOOOOOO!" I screamed, waking myself up. I looked all around, panting for breath.

_It was only a nightmare. I am safe in my bed at Hogwarts._

I got out of bed, shaking a little, and made my way to the bench by the fire. I was drenched in sweat and shivering.

_How can I tell Severus what I did? And what about what Sir did to me?_

I felt filthy so I rose to take a bath and made the water extra hot and used a lot of soap and perfumes. The water stung my skin as I stepped into it . If I had a scouring pad, I would have used it. I scrubbed furiously at my skin, causing it to turn red and blotchy. For a moment, I thought that I was covered in blood, and shook my head at the thought of it. I sat in the bath, hugging my legs to my chest, rocking back and forth, until the water was cold.

When I dried myself off and put on a nightgown, I went out on the balcony. I thought I saw him walking in the shadows toward the castle as I looked away and out over the rose garden.

_I love it here. I won't let my past push me out again. I willnot leave him unless he asked me to. I have a long way to go, but I've traveled far, and I'm closer to home than ever before. I will not run anymore._

It was nearly morning now and the air was full of roses and the sky was pink as well. Daylight was on its way and soon I would feel warm again.

* * *

Spring fell to summer and, before I knew it, June was here. Harry had killed the basilisk, destroying Tom Riddle. Severus had gone back to his old habits, never mentioning that night almost two months ago. We didn't see each other, outside my lessons or meals, and we spoke of nothing but work. The students would be leaving for summer holiday soon, and I thought maybe I would also. I was starting to believe that Severus would never talk to me again, that I would never tell him what I needed to. Then he approached me on my way to the Great Hall.

"May I have a moment of your time?" Snape asked.

"How may I help you, Professor?" I asked a bit uneasily.

"You and I have unfinished business, Kinsington," he began. I felt as though I might cry, but did not show it. "Would you join me for dinner in Hogsmeade?"

"When?" I asked.

_Please don't say now._

"Immediately. I have arranged transportation there, but we shall have to walk back when we have finished." He was being very cold and I wanted to turn and run back to my rooms, crying like a schoolgirl.

"Fine," I replied reluctantly.

We walked at breakneck speed to a small carriage outside. I got in, plopped down, and stared angrily out the window. I was practically pouting and, when I realized it, I pulled myself together immediately.

As the carriage pulled away he spoke, "Where would you like to go?"

"Wherever is fine by me," I snapped.

"The Three Broomsticks it is then," he decided. "I can see that you are in a delightful mood, Kinsington. What's got your panties in a wad?"

_Oh no he didn't! Son of a bitch! Is he joking, or is he simply trying to infuriate me?_

"You ass!" I snapped.

"That was a bad choice of words; a simple mistake, I assure you." I could swear he was trying not to smile.

"I'm not stupid, SSeverussss," I said, hissing his name, making it sound long and snake-like.

"I never said that you were. Are you finished preparing your examinations?" He was playing it cool.

"Yes I have." I was holding my temper best I could manage. "What about you?"

"Nearly, I have finished grading your early examination, Kinsington. Would you like to know you results now, or would you rather wait until Monday?"

"If I got anything less than top marks you should look over it again!"

"Of course you did. I am an excellent teacher," he muttered.

"That may be, but you could do with an attitude adjustment, Professor."

"Hm...maybe I am not alone in that," he mumbled. "We have arrived. Shall we?"

I climbed out of the carriage and walked haughtily into the bar, allowing the doors to nearly hit him in his face. I took a seat at a table in the corner and he joined me. He scowled at me and I smiled facetiously back at him. What a pair we made; Snide and Bitchy, Bitchy and Snide. I could see us now clearly on stage at a Muggle comedy review: He with his club and me with my hammer; beating the bejeezus out of one another, with a giant cane around our waists, dragging us off the stage.

"I'll have a shot of Firewhiskey with a beer chaser," I ordered angrily when the barmaid approached. "He'll have a shot of piss with a vinegar chaser!"

"As tempting as that sounds, I think a bottle of red wine will suffice," he corrected disdainfully, shooting me a look of reproach.

The barmaid nodded and scurried away, probably out of fear that I might ask her to bring me his head on a platter next. She wasn't far off with that one. She returned in a flash, placed the bottle and glasses on the table, and looked at us timidly for our order.

"I think we need a bit of time, Madam Crawford," Severus instructed. She nodded, looking much relieved as she left us.

"I think we need more than just a bit of time. A few days should do it," I snorted.

He poured himself a glass and then began to pour mine, but I snatched the bottle out of his hand. I took a large, sloppy sip from the bottle and wiped my mouth with my hand. "How engaging, Kinsington," he criticized. I took another swig and then poured myself a glass, relinquishing the bottle to him at last. "Now that we have that settled, on to more important matters."

"What brings us here tonight, Professor?" I asked calmly, trying to get a grip on my temper.

"I am afraid we will have to begin your third year lessons next term. This summer I will be leaving to tend to matters of a top secret nature," he began. "I will return shortly before the commencement of the school year. I assume that you will be here when I return?"

"I do plan to teach again next year, if that's what you're asking."

_Did he just say that he was leaving?_

"I didn't know you were leaving," I replied, this time sounding a little sad.

Snape replied, "I only just found out this morning," his voice not sounding as harsh. "I set out in one week, the same day the students leave for holiday. I cannot inform you of any details, so do not bother asking."

"Oh, I see." I looked down at the table.

"I have a word of warning for you: stay away from Lucius Malfoy! I know the two of you were friendly during school, but things have changed over the years. I cannot tell you how just now, but trust me. Stay away from Lucius Malfoy."

"I trust you, Severus, and I will avoid him." He seemed unconvinced. "I will, I promise. Is this anything to do with him being a...you know?" I had heard that Lucius and Severus had been Death Eaters around the time when Lily and James had been murdered.

"You know about that then?" he asked, eyeing me to see what else I knew. "Yes, it has everything to do with it. I did not realize that you knew anything about those times."

"I heard about Lily and James when I was away at college." I felt very sad thinking about how my friends had died at Voldemort's hands. I hadn't been there for them, or my other friends, and that was still a fresh wound. I teared up a little. "Let's not talk about this." I was choking back my tears and took a large drink of wine finishing the glass, hoping to dull the ache in my chest.

Severus poured me another. "I know they were your friends and I am truly sorry." He knew I couldn't take this line of conversation anymore. "We should order dinner. I am having roast beef." I was far off thinking about Harry, and how much he looked like James. "Ellie...Ellie?" I snapped out of it. "What would you like?"

"Uhm...how's the fish and chips here?" I asked.

"I've had it many times. I think you will enjoy it."

"Then that's what I'll have, please. I think I would also like an iced tea with dinner. I wouldn't want to make a spectacle out of myself again, now would I?"

"Excellent choice." He called the barmaid over and placed our order. "Can we speak rationally now?"

I smiled weakly and replied, "Of course. I'm sorry for being so...bitchy."

"Yes, well you are not alone. I have been rather snide myself." I let out a giggle, remembering the Muggle comedy review. "What?"

"Nothing, really, it's nothing." I stopped giggling. "I am glad that things have gone back to normal at the castle. Can you believe Harry Potter?"

He cringed a little at the name, but did not turn foul again. "No, nevertheless I am glad it is over. You Gryffindors have a real hero complex, don't you? Always saving the castle from giant reptilian creatures. I wonder if that dragon ever knew what hit him?" he pondered.

I laughed. "I guess it's in our blood, Severus. Saving the castle from giant Slytherins, I mean reptiles." He seemed rather amused. I laughed again as dinner arrived.

"Good to see you smiling again. I was beginning to think you had forgotten how," he hissed.

"Sometimes it isn't easy, but I seem to manage now and again." We began to eat.

"If you are a good girl and eat all your dinner, I may buy you some fudge on our way out of Hogsmeade," he divulged with a smile.

He actually smiled! It was quick, but he actually smiled!

"Now you're talking!" I thought of how lovely a block of rich, velvety fudge would be. "You really do know how to get my attention, don't you?"

"Haven't I always?" he purred in that sexy, silky voice of his.

True to his word, we stopped into Honeydukes on our way out of town. He rolled his eyes as he paid for my fudge. I was truly a very big kid in a candy store. We began our walk back to the castle in silence, since my mouth was full of fudge.

"Thanks, that was marvelous!" I announced with great enthusiasm. I was almost theatrical. "Severus, do you remember that time when we came in here after the dance with Malfoy?"

"Yes, how could I forget?" He scowled a little, remembering how we had been sabotaged in our attempt at a first kiss.

"Do you remember how Lucius kept pushing me out in front of him, mumbling something about, 'better let her go first, I think I heard something'?" I started laughing at the thought of six foot, two hundred pound Malfoy pushing a five foot seven, hundred and twenty pound fifteen-year-old girl in front of him like a shield.

Snape responded, "Yes, courageous that one. He should have paid you a galleon a day for services rendered." He shook his head. "As I recall, he ingested so much Firewhiskey, that you had to conjure a bucket of water, after he caught the bosom of Narcissa's dress on fire."

I laughed so hard that I had to stop walking.

He continued, "Then, to top it all off, you had to slap him about the face when he began sobbing about how much he'd miss her breasts, now that he had burned them off."

Tears were streaming down my cheeks and I was doubled over in fits of laughter.

Snape grinned and finished, "I thought you would never convince him that he had only gotten the dress, and not what lie underneath."

That was it! I fell to the ground and continued on about my spell. I gasped for breath, giggling a little more, and wiped my eyes and cheeks.

"Gods, that was funny! I haven't laughed so hard since, I can't remember when." I got up and straightened my clothing and we began walking again. "We had some good times, didn't we?"

"Yes, very good times indeed."

He seemed a bit more serious than before. I felt his hand brush mine. A moment later, he took my hand in his. We interlaced our fingers, little by little. I looked at him and then turned back to face ahead. The castle was just up ahead now. "Would you like to talk about...anything else tonight?" He slowed our pace a little as he waited for an answer.

"I think maybe we should. We need to do this before you leave for the summer."

"I am coming back," he said seriously, and he pulled me to a stop.

"I don't want you to go, but I won't ask you not to. I won't ask you why or what or where. You have your reasons, as I had mine," I said solemnly.

"I will explain everything to you when I return. Now, I think you should finish telling me what you must. Where do you want to go?" he asked.

I asked, "How about my rooms?"

He agreed and we proceed back to the castle, and all the way to my rooms. We went in and sat, facing each other, on the bench before the fire. He continued to hold my hand. I sighed and began to feel a great fear.

"What you told me before explained a great many things, however it does not explain why you ran away and never came back." He was a little stern which caused me to wriggle in my seat. "Make me understand why I should forgive you after all these years."

"I am not asking for your forgiveness. I cannot ask you to do what I cannot do myself," I began. "In order for you to understand, I am going to have to bring you back to a place neither one of us wants to go." He stiffened up bracing himself for what was next. "Back to that day in March, you know the one that I mean. Remember the letter?..."

* * *

In my sixth year, things had been wonderful between the two of us since Christmas in the closet. I was full of bliss and I could tell he was too. It was on a Monday, during the first week of March, that my life would be forever changed. We were writing back and forth in our journals during breakfast, peeking up at each other from across the room. Owl post has just started circling about, but I never received a letter in my whole time at school, so I paid them no mind.

"Don't be worried about that now! We have plenty of time to study for your N.E.W.T.s," I wrote and gazed over at him, rolling my eyes.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me! I'll have to teach you a lesson! I think you might like it, though," he wrote.

"I bet I will. I love it when they have chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast! I'm going to try and steal the last one from Remus. Hold on."

"You are so very predictable, Kinsington. Since you are going over there anyway, put a stinging hex on Black for me, would you?" I saw an evil little grin appear on his lips.

"Do your own nasty deeds, you loathsome, slimy, Slytherin prat!" I wrote.

"I love it when you talk dirty to me," he replied.

"Yes, well..." I had just received an owl. I stared at the yellow envelope, unable to believe my eyes. It was addressed, 'Miss E.C.Kinsington, Great Hall, Hogwarts', in red ink. I turned it over. It had the Ministry of Magic seal on it.

_What in the blazes would they want with me?_

I looked up and saw Severus looking at me with great interest.

"What is that?" he wrote.

I mouthed, "I don't know," at him then looked back at the letter.

_I have a really bad feeling about this._

Timidly, not at all tearing the paper, I opened it. Two separate letters fell out on the table. One looked very formal on expensive oatmeal parchment; the other looked like a page torn hastily out of a notepad. I picked up the former and began to read...

'Dear Miss Kinsington, it is with deepest regret that we inform you...'

I jumped up from my seat, and drew in a breath so loud, that James and his friends turned to look at me. I shook my head in disbelief. "No!" I gasped.

I read the other letter... It was from Sir! I ran up to the staff table and flung the letters at Dumbledore. "You have to help me!" I pleaded loudly. "I can't...won't...you have to help me!"

Dumbledore rose slowly to his feet. I have never seen him look so sad before. "Ellie, I am afraid that I cannot," he said, looking suddenly weak and pitiful.

"No!" I shook my head. "No! I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!"

I was getting hysterical. Dumbledore said nothing more. I snatched the letters out of his hands. "I don't believe you," I whispered. I ran from the Great Hall, leaving all my books and the journal behind at the table.

I ran and ran and ran. I went into my dorm in Gryffindor tower. I ran wildly about the room, gathering my belongings, and hurling them into a large, red and gold Quidditch bag. I had to go. I had to go at once.

I sprinted out of the dorm, out of the tower, out of the castle, and into the Enchanted Forrest behind Hagrid's cabin. There was no one in sight.

_Where do I go? How do I find my way through here? No one must see me. I can't let them stop me!_

It is all a bit foggy to me now. For hours and hours, I wandered in circles until it was night.

_He will try and follow me. I have to make him understand that he can't. He must never follow me!_

I put my bag under a tree and set off back to the castle. I made it to the rose garden, then fell to my knees, and began sobbing hysterically. I think it was a few minutes later when...

"Ellie! My gods!" I heard his voice cry out to me. "I have been trying to find you since breakfast. Where have you been? What's going on?" He sounded sick with worry. "Ellie..." he approached me and I bolted to my feet, flinging myself around his neck.

I sobbed into his chest, clinging to him for dear life. "I love you, Severus...please understand that I love you!"

"I know, I know," he soothed as he pressed my head to his chest with his hand. "Please tell me what's going on. Why are you so frightened?"

I shook, gasping for air, and slowly pulled away from him. My eyes were wild, crazed. I pulled the letters out of my robes and handed them to him. "I have to go. Listen to me, I have to go!"

"What?" He read the letters quickly, his eyes open in disbelief.

'Dear Miss Kinsington,

It is with deepest regret that we inform you of your mother, Madam Cherise Reynard Kinsington's, untimely death. Your father, Sir Randolph Lloyd Kinsington III, has requested your immediate presence. You will henceforth be returned to him and your studies, at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, put on hold, until such a time he deems appropriate. You will leave by carriage immediately following breakfast tomorrow and will be met by a representative of the Ministry of Magic, who will escort to your destination.

Benevolently,  
Willis Linney,  
Ministry of Magic, Magistrate to Domestic Affairs'

"But, Ellie..."

Severus read the other letter. It contained only four words: 'Your time has come'.

"I'm coming with you," he said.

"NO! You must not follow me! Not now, not ever!" I screamed.

"I don't understand. I won't let you go through this alone! I won't let anyone hurt you. Ellie...," he said desperately.

"You don't know what you're saying! You can't protect me, no one can! I have to go away and you must promise never to look for me!" I pleaded.

_Please! Sir will Kill you! I won't stand for it!_

"Stop it!" he begged. "I will never leave you! We can go right now. I will keep you safe always. No one will ever touch you! I love you, Ellie! Let's run away together!"

He loved me so much. I could hear it in his voice, see it in his eyes, feel it emanating from his very being. What I said to him next, I said for his safety. A part of me died as my mouth formed the words. The very biggest part of my heart died.

I looked away from him and said in a calm cold dead voice, "I have never loved you. It was all a big joke!" I turned to face him, harnessing every bit of power I had in me, to finish the lie that would ruin my life. I looked him sharply in the eye.

"You are a fool, Snape! You actually believed that_ I _could love someone like_ you_? I loathe you."

He took a step back, his face twisted in agony and disbelief. "You are nothing to me! Nothing! I never want to see your disgusting face again! I HATE YOU, SEVERUS SNAPE! I HATE YOU!"

I ran so fast into the forest that I was nearly flying. I could not bear to see the look on his face, when I tore out his heart and mine as well. I was numb as I picked up my bag that night. No more tears could be shed. I was alone and I would be forever. I don't know how long it took, and I don't know how I did it, but I made my way through the trees, until there were no more. I went into hiding, place to place here and there, stumbling through the world in a trance...

* * *

I began to shake, as I recounted that day's events, on the bench by the fire. I felt as I had so many years ago: like no time at all had passed. But he was there, before my eyes, and I had to continue to make him understand that I had no other choice.

"Severus, I had no other choice," I whispered, begging him to understand. "I hid like a criminal for several months after I left the castle. I was beginning to think that I had escaped, and that he would never find me. When I saw him approach me in a store in Japan, I couldn't believe my eyes. I was frozen still! I couldn't move or speak. I just let him take me," I paused and stood up, released his hand, and walked over to the window.

"Sir brought me home, to my room in the basement." I then told him exactly as it occurred, like the dream I had had so many times.

When I got to the part when I blacked out I explained, "He raped me. I don't know how I got it, but I remember seeing it in my hand. It was long and sharp, like a sword. I fell to the floor and Sir was nowhere to be seen. I was badly injured so I couldn't make it out the door. Sir came at me again while I was crawling across the floor. When he got me back on the table, he pressed himself on top of me...I used the knife...to cut him.

I continued describing the scene, "I impaled him with it, again and again and again. I couldn't stop stabbing him! It was all over me...I was drenched in his blood! I could see the meat of his neck gaping out at me...he was nearly decapitated. I dropped the knife, and smeared my bloody hands all over my face, trying to wipe it off. I was covered in it."

I was not able to look Severus in the eyes. "It comes in flashes from there...I wandered around that house for days, never seeming to be able to find a door. The next clear memory that I have is waking up in a Muggle hospital, with policemen all around. My hands and legs were bound to the bed. When I had healed slightly, enough to move anyway, I used my magic to free myself and I began to run for my life. I was a fugitive from Muggle law for almost a year. Everywhere I went, they seemed to follow."

"One day, a wizard Apparated before me and told me that the Muggles were no longer searching for me. He said that Dumbledore had told the Ministry everything, and that memories had been altered. I thought for weeks that he had lied to me, so I kept running. When I finally accepted that it was true, I decided to forget that I had ever known magic." Severus listened patiently.

"America was my next stop. I lied and manipulated, so that I could begin again as a Muggle. Everyone thought that I was just like them. They hadn't any clue. It was just too easy. I drank heavily and did all sorts of foul intoxicants to help me forget who I really was. After college, I realized that I had no idea who I was anymore.

"Gradually, I allowed myself to remember, and set off around the world, searching. Searching for anything that could make sense. In the most ancient of places, I found clues and hints about myself and sorcery. I learned about the magic that had bound me to the Squibs, and I had a revelation. Those Squibs were not my parents." I couldn't continue and sat on the bench again.

"Unbelievable," gasped Severus.

"The Guardians were not my parents. My real parents were a wizard named Andreaus and a witch named Emmeline Kinsington. Sir was my father's brother and Madam his sister." I looked at Severus. He was blown away. "The Guardians stole me from them shortly before my second birthday."

Without saying a word, Severus wrapped his arms around me. The shock of it all was very apparent in both of us. "Ellie, how do you know all this?"

"My brother told me," I informed and began to weep in his arms.

"You see, when I was in Egypt, I became aware that I was being followed. He looked so much like me that I knew him before he uttered a word. I had seen his face before. He had been sent to kill me," I cried.

"He was under the Imperius Curse. He had been ever since the Squibs took me, that night when I was a child. He told me everything while he pointed the wand at me. I could tell that he was trying so hard to break the spell. He didn't want to kill me. When he said the words of the curse, he turned the wand on himself."

I sobbed harder and began to wish that I had died instead. Severus held me close. "His name was Julian, and he was my older brother by six years." I looked through my tear filled eyes at Severus. "I held him in my arms as he died. It didn't happen all at once. He told me that he had always loved me, and that he was so, so sorry." I was inconsolable at this point. For along time I cried in his arms both of us silent.

"For a long time after you left that night, I didn't really believe you. Over time, I began to accept that what you had told me was true," Severus said solemnly. "I never thought I would see you again. I became very bitter and withdrawn. You betrayed me and ripped my heart from my chest."

I was feeling very ashamed and walked away from him, to face the window again.

_I knew he would never forgive me._

He came up behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders. "But I was wrong. Until just now, I never knew a thing." Severus turned me gently around, to make me face him. "You lied to me that night. You really did love me after all, didn't you?" he asked, just realizing the truth for himself.

"Yes, Severus, I lied to you." Tears began to fall on my cheeks again. "I had to make it so you wouldn't come after me. You couldn't have stopped him. The magic was too powerful for anyone to break. It was an accident and a miracle that I found that knife. Magic had nothing to do with what I did to break my imprisonment. A brutal, vicious act of savagery ended it all. I murdered him I am still covered in his blood."

"No," he whispered, his face drawing closer to mine, "you set yourself free. He won't hurt you anymore."

"Severus, I died before I killed him. I died the night I told you the lies. It was always you," I sobbed. "He ruined me, turned me into something less. I couldn't find you because I was too ashamed."

"I should have gone after you. I should have known you were lying. Don't ever be ashamed, because you are perfect, and I will never see you as anything less." I heard the love in his voice like it was the first time when we were young. It was in his eyes, and in his voice, and it was surrounding me. His lips brushed across mine slowly and again. "Ellie," he whispered as he began to kiss me tenderly.

He picked me up and carried me to my bed. He placed me down and lay on top of me, kissing me passionately and stroking my hair. I loved the way the weight of his body felt on mine; the way he encircled me. He whispered, "Ellie, there is nothing I want more than to make love to you right now, but I cannot."

As he looked at me with those dark, heartrending eyes, I thought for sure I knew why he had said that. He slid down me a little to lay his head on my chest.

"Severus, I know I'm filthy. I'm so sorry that I let him touch me, but there was never anyone else. I have never been with a man...not ever, other than him."

_How could he ever want to lay his hands on me after I had been so pathetically weak?_

He buried his face between my breasts and then looked up at me. "Is that what you think?" He looked hurt and explained, "No, Ellie, that is not it at all." He slid back up, his face now even with mine. "I do not want to hurt you, or make you think that I am anything like him. He mutilated you; forced himself on you. You did not give him anything; he took it all from you.

"I should have protected you. If you had told me what was going on, I would have killed him. I know you felt that it was impossible, but I would have killed him, or fought to the death trying to save you." He caressed my face, rubbing his cheek on mine. "You needed me and I broke my promise not come after you. I believed that you hated me when I should have known better."

"Oh, Severus. You don't know what it took to lie to you, to make you understand. I had to make you see. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you because of him. I had to protect you, even if that meant telling the man that I loved since I was child, that he meant nothing to me, when really he was my very existence," I wept. "You could never hurt me, Severus. I know that, I always have. I want you to make love me... I want to be with you."

I put my hand on the back of his head and twirled my fingers in his hair. I pulled his head down and pressed his lips to mine, kissing him deeply. He did not resist me as our tongues entwined with hunger and adoration. I wrapped my leg around him, lifted his robes to rub my hands on his skin, and pressed my hips into his.

He rose to his knees, while sitting on top of me, and began to remove his clothing. When his chest was bare, he leaned over me, while I moved my hands over his chest and up to his shoulders, then down his arms and back again. He felt so wonderful; so firm and smooth all at once.

Severus unbuttoned my shirt and sat me up to slide it off me. I gasped as he kissed my neck and started to pull off my skirt. As he did this, I unbuttoned his pants and slid my hand inside to touch him. He finished what I had started and threw his pants to the floor, along with my clothes. There was nothing between now except our underwear, as he lay back down on me and resumed kissing me, wildly. He rolled over and pulled me on top of him.

"Pull back the blankets," he growled hungrily.

I rose to sit on top of him, pulled off my camisole, and then grabbed the top of the blankets to expose the sheets beside us. He drank me in. Snape ran his fingers up my stomach and over my breasts, like he had never seen a woman before. I just sat there, on top of him, and watched his face, feeling his touch as my heart exploded and fever spread throughout my body.

"You are so magnificent," he whispered breathlessly, seeming truly amazed by the curves of my hips, and the soft fullness of my breasts.

My nipples stiffened at his touch. I pressed myself down, to feel my skin on his own; my chest to his. He flipped me over, rolling me onto the sheets. He was once again on top. He moved his hand down the small of my stomach and under my panties. I felt his hardness through the silk of his boxers as I moved my hand down to him. I moaned as his fingers gently stroked my aching wetness. He expertly removed my underwear, and then I returned the favor. There was nothing between us now except our breath.

"Are you all right?" he asked sweetly, his eyes burning into mine.

"Severus, I have never been so sure of anything in all my life."

I had loved him for twenty years. We had waited so long, and I needed him now; all of him. I parted his lips with my tongue and made him understand. I never knew it could be like this. After all these years, I never imagined it could be like this. It was if the entire world disappeared and there was only the two of us.

He put himself inside me slowly and I cried out softly in ecstasy as he moaned and thrust himself deeper. The pleasure and agony of it was so overwhelming. His breath was hot on my face, which sent chills up my back, as he made love to me.

"Ellie, I need you," he moaned in my ear as we continued our frenzied movements.

I never wanted it to end. We couldn't control ourselves any longer. We became wild, our tension building, grinding into each other, writhing and moaning, until we had reached the end. We were covered in sweat and heaved for breath, as he collapsed down on me, and pressed his face in the crook of my neck, kissing it repeatedly.

He rolled over on his back, over to my left, and turned his head to me. I turned my head to look at him, our chests moving up and down rapidly. A tired smile played on my lips as we looked into each others eyes. We were beyond words, yet we said everything without a sound. Our breathing returned to normal after a long while.

We snuggled up together again, gently kissing. "I think I can sleep forever like this," I sighed. I was completely at ease and ridiculously exhausted.

"I hope that you will," he whispered. "I have never been so tired in all my life."

"Well you did have a bit of a workout," I giggled. "So did I, for that matter. Tomorrow is Saturday, so we can sleep in. No one ever comes to my door until after lunch." I knew this would have to be a secret. "You aren't going to go back to your rooms, are you?"

"I couldn't walk that far if I had too. I don't, do I? You're not throwing me out, are you?" he asked.

"No, of course not! I just don't want to get us in trouble," I replied.

Snape scowled and replied, "Hm...well we have plenty of experience with trouble."

How right he was. We had made it through some difficult events and relentless taunting for years at school. We had kept our relationship a secret before, and under more stressful circumstances. We were grown now, and it was more for the benefit of the children, than ourselves or the teachers. Dumbledore probably knew about it anyway. He always seemed to know. As soon as I closed my eyes and felt his heartbeat pounding rhythmically in my ear, I fell into a wonderful, nightmare-free sleep for the first time in ages.

* * *

When I woke up in the morning, I was on my side with Severus wrapped around me. I was so warm and comfortable. "Uhm," I yawned. I stretched slightly and squeezed his arms.

"I was wondering when you would wake. You looked so peaceful that I dare not disturb you." He nuzzled his nose on my cheek as he spoke. "I take it you slept well?" he asked.

"Oh yeah, did you?" I turned to peck him on the lips.

"I was oblivious to all." I started to wiggle my way out of his arms "Where are you going?" he asked.

"Ladies room," I said casually.

"Hm, well make it quick. What are you trying to hide? Don't do that!" He was referring to my behavior as I tried to cover myself with one of the blankets when I stood.

"Severus...I'm just a little...shy. I don't generally walk about nude in front of people. Now leave me be, I'll just be a minute." I was blushing now and felt a little self conscious as I made my way to the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I had a silly grin that I couldn't wipe off my face. When I opened the door, he was waiting for me just outside. Severus snatched the blanket from me and threw it back on the bed. I threw my hands up to cover my breasts and then changed my mind and covered my...other areas.

"What on earth are you trying to do? It's freezing in here!" I complained, now red all over.

He grinned smugly. "Yes, I can see that," he remarked, looking me up and down. "I shall keep you adequately warm if you return to the bed at once."

"You first! I shall want to get a good look, since you've already one." I was going to enjoy this. He was simply, for lack of a better word, delicious. I followed him back to bed and crawled in. He pulled me to him and kissed my cheeks, then my lips. "Not bad, Severus. Not bad at all," I teased.

"So this is how you look in the morning: All fresh and giggly, your hair all curly and twisted," he teased.

"Curly and twisted? I think you had something to do with that," I scolded.

"I know," he whispered. "So tell me, Kinsington, are you as ravenously hungry as I am? Or is it my mind playing tricks on me?"

"Let us not skip lunch, or we might have Potter and his cronies breaking down the door, to see that you are still alive! Your students seem to adore you, Kinsington. Have you been stealing the potions from your lessons?"

"You're just jealous, because you act like a fucking prick and make all your students hate you!" I scolded. "My students like me because I am interesting, not because I cast spells on them or enchant them with potions! They know about my being a Sorceress since that night Hermione was petrified. I did a few parlor tricks and spilled the beans about some of the things their parents used to do in school. They all seemed to take it rather well. Much better than I did when I found out...or shall I say freaked out," I admitted.

"Well it is about time! It is not as if you have a scarlet 'S' branded on your chest! I have never understood why you always seemed to think of yourself as cursed. I think your abilities are astounding," he said firmly.

"I know that now, but it took years for me to admit it and learn how to let it happen. You know that book I'm always reading...the one you bought for me in Hogsmeade?"

"You mean the one where the table of contents is so very enthralling?"

"That's the one. I know that you see the table of contents, but that is not what I see." He cocked his eyebrow.

"It shows me things. When I open the book, I see myself, only I am different. It is hard to explain but I see images that play out a kind of...story. I see the beginnings of sorcery and how magic evolves. I see the planet and how life emerged from nothing. I learn how it is that pure magic passes down and leaves some, like Squibs, unable to use it. I know it sounds crazy, but it seems very familiar to me," I tried to explain.

"That sounds like Dark Magic. Why is it that you are the only one who can see this?" He sounded very concerned.

"As I interpret it, the book was created by Sorcerers long ago. I don't know if I can see it because I am a Sorceress, or if others can see it also. I haven't shown it to anyone except you and that was very brief. Maybe you can see it too, Severus. Or maybe you will see something else. I don't know. But if I am correct about it being a book of sorcery, then it is neither good nor evil, just pure natural magic," I surmised.

"That does not mean that it isn't dangerous. I shall examine it and see what happens. You were in a terrible state when you were left alone with the book for long periods of time, remember? Evil can come from unexpected places, even ourselves," he warned.

"I shall exercise caution, I promise." He held me a little tighter and we began to kiss. "I shall miss you very much this summer. Be very careful, I want you to promise me," I pleaded.

"I will do everything in my power to return to you in one piece." He became more serious and said. "As much as you may want to, you will not be able to contact me. You must not send any owls or ask any questions as to the nature of my whereabouts, or my mission. I will return and tell you everything."

I felt sad but tried to be strong. "I will do anything you ask of me."

He understood and kissed me as his reply. "It is nearly time for lunch. I shall return to my rooms and prepare myself for the day. I will see you there." He reluctantly got up and began to dress and I made my way to take a bath. "I have never had so much trouble getting out of bed in all my life." As he stood by the door, we shared one last look, and then he left.

I decided to pamper myself with a bit of a soak in bubbles. Leaning back in the tub, I remembered how it used to be before Severus and I had been so close. A time when he and his friends had treated me differently...

TO BE CONTINUED...

* * *


	7. Chapter Seven: June

* * *

**Chapter 7: June**

It was the beginning of my third year at Hogwarts and everything seemed to be going wrong for me these days. My possessions, especially my schoolwork, were turning up in odd places throughout the castle. I simply could not fathom how I had misplaced my essay. I had been working on it for two weeks.

"Professor Binns, I promise, I just had it!"

"Unfortunately, Miss Kinsington, you do not have it now," replied the ghost. "I cannot accept late work unless you have a note from Madam Pomfrey."

Class ended and I made my way to dinner, hoping my luck would change soon. Malfoy was laughing loudly at the Slytherin table and pointing over at me. A large group had formed around him, with Snape not looking nearly as pleased as the others. I got the impression Malfoy was somehow responsible for my recent bad fortune. Dark eyes looked up to meet mine across the room, speaking volumes. I turned away fighting off tears.

James Potter and Sirius Black had entered, late as always, but instead of sitting in their usual places, they sat next to me.

"Shove over a bit, Kinsy," said Sirius jovially.

Black sat down beside me and Potter sat across from him.

"What do you want?" I asked.

_No one ever sits with me!_

"I found this near the lake this afternoon." James pulled out a mess of water-logged parchment from his robes.

"My essay!" I exclaimed.

"Any idea how it got out there, Kinsington?" Potter asked.

"I have!" Black replied, nodding at Malfoy and his lot.

"Why would they bother? They're not even in my History of Magic class?" I asked.

"They don't need a reason to be nasty. I bet you anything they did it," James answered.

"Who cares? It was just a stupid essay," I stated. " Next time, I'll be more careful."

"What are you looking at?" Black yelled across the room at Snape. Severus shot him a look of pure loathing before turning back to his meal. "Old Snivilly sure seems interested in our conversation. I'd like to wipe that oily scowl off his face with a jinx or two!"

"Leave him alone!" I warned. "He sits next to me in charms and never bothers me!"

"Well, he bothers me! I hate that little prat," flared Black.

"Here, Here!" agreed Potter. "Listen, Ellie, I'd watch out for those Slytherins If I were you. They really hate Muggle-borns."

"Thanks, but I don't need help from the two of you." I got up and left the room.

_They didn't care about me. All they wanted was another excuse to pick on Snape._

Saturday, I decided to start on my next History of Magic essay. I was sitting on the lawn by the lake, writing furiously, when I heard a familiar voice.

"That won't do you any good, Mudblood," cackled Lucius Malfoy as he took my book and threw it in the lake. "Half-breeds like you should not be allowed to read about real Wizardry. Isn't that right, Snape?"

"If you ask me, they should be used as slave labor. Even house elves are more intelligent," hissed Snape.

"You aren't fit to breathe this air with us, Kinsington, much less share classes. Why don't you go for a swim and get your book? GET IN!" ordered Malfoy. "Why don't you help her, Severus? She isn't bright enough to figure it out for herself."

"_Wingardium Leviosa_," Snape bellowed. I began to float as he guided me over the water with Malfoy laughing and egging him on. " Finite Incantatem ," he said, and I fell into the lake head first. "Get the book, or we'll try it again Muggle. I said get the book!"

"You're taking too long! Move it!" yelled Malfoy. When I had barely reached the shore, Malfoy grabbed me by the hair and dragged me back to the grass. He released me roughly. "She can't even follow simple instructions. Not fit for slave labor, is she?"

I was drenched and my head was sore from being dragged, but I was not going to show them. I stood up and began to walk away.

"_Impediamenta_," bellowed Snape, causing me to be struck still. They both faced me and laughed. "I like her better this way, Malfoy. Mudbloods are better seen and not heard." Snape used one finger to push me over and I fell like a tree onto the ground. They roared with laughter. The spell began to wear off and I slowly stood up again and began to walk back to the castle. They followed me and I walked faster. Snape yelled, "Not so fast!"

I was getting tired of this. They jumped in front of me and Malfoy grabbed my arms. I spat in his face. "You little bitch!" he yelled, wiping the spit from his face. He pushed me down to the ground and stood over me with his wand pointed directly in my face. "I am going to make you pay for that!"

Just then I heard a voice yell, "_Expelliarmus_!" It was Lupin. He and Peter came running as Malfoy's wand flew from his hand.

"Back off, Malfoy! You too, Snivillus!" Lupin demanded and they backed off a little. "She's half your size, let her alone!" He held his free hand out to me and helped me up. "Ellie, are you okay? You are soaking wet?"

"I'm fine, Remus, really. They didn't hurt me."

"Let's get you back inside and into some dry robes. Are you sure you aren't hurt?" he asked with brotherly affection.

I gave Lupin a weak smile and replied, "No, I'm just wet. Let's go in now, okay?"

"James and Sirius aren't going to like this," commented Lupin. "They would have jinxed them both."

Lupin was always the even-tempered one of the bunch. I looked at Peter; he was always the quiet weird one. I never liked him for some reason; I could just never put my finger on it. The three of us walked back to Gryffindor tower. When James and Sirius saw me, they questioned Lupin. I could hear them angrily discussing the Slytherins as I climbed the stairs. I hoped that they wouldn't make a big deal of it. They used any excuse they could find to pick fights…

* * *

"Good old school days," I muttered. 

The bath was turning cool and I had to hurry to make it to lunch on time. I dressed quickly and set off for the Great Hall. Late as usual, I was the last to arrive. I took my seat and immediately began to put everything in sight on my plate. I noticed that Severus was eating more than usual too. We peeked at each other, knowing the reason for our voracious appetites. I had to force myself not to tease him or smile.

When lunch was over, Snape asked me, "What do you have planned for the day?"

"Well, I have a lot of reading to do. I thought I might take my book to the library and barricade myself in among the stacks."

"Hm, that book again?" That lovely scowl returned to his dark face. "I have much to do myself today, so why don't you bring your book to my office and we shall work together?"

I knew how he felt about the book. I was also sure he wanted to keep close watch on me.

"I'll meet you there in a half an hour. I want to talk to Harry for a bit."

His face twisted in a sour grimace at the mention of Harry's name. "Potter?" he hissed. "Well if you insist, but do not forget and wind up hiding in your room all day." I leered at him and then went about my business.

After a brief chat with Harry, Ron, and Hermione, I grabbed my book and went to the dungeons to meet Snape.

He was at his desk, scowling over his student's exams. He didn't look up but said, "The quality of work is revolting. This is not worthy of a mark. It shall instead be framed and hung in my classroom as an example of pure idiocy, for when I am feeling like a good laugh." He slung the paper aside and started on the next.

"Glad to see you are pleasant as ever. May I make some tea? I will be very quiet of course."

"No you may not," he said, continuing to read, "There is some already." He was drawing thick, red lines on the paper. "Pour me some as well, will you? And add a nip of scotch. These examinations apparently require an altered perception to interpret."

I knew he loved his job, and even though he seemed to hate them all, I knew he found his students entertaining.

I poured him a cup, omitting the scotch, and brought it to him. Snape dropped the papers and looked at me. "What?" I asked as he stared.

He narrowed his eyes and remarked, "Perhaps you should teach writing. The students would benefit from your expertise."

_He just gave me a compliment!_

"Thanks," I blurted out as I sipped my tea. "Well, off to my book then." I smiled and prepared to cuddle up in the chair with my book.

"Miss Kinsington!" Snape yelled nastily. Then he softened and said, "Wait a moment." He stood up, took the cup from my hand, and placed it on his desk. He slowly put his arms around me and kissed me sweetly. "There, now you may be on your way," he casually remarked , taking his seat and resuming his work.

I was smiling happily when I walked to the chair by the fire. I looked over at him before I opened the book. Snape looked up at me, grinning a little.

_This tea is excellent! Hm...Oranges, cinnamon, and..._

"Dandelion. No pepper this time." He finished my sentence and answered my question all at once.

I just shook my head and opened the big red book. It was behaving like a regular book, so I decided to treat it as such. I turned the page and began to read:

"Sorcery is the beginning; before the beginning and after the end…" it began. "Death reverses and life progresses; backward then forward, then backward to the future of the past to live again…"

_Well, that explains it._

...You once what you were, and shall be again. Older than younger, but younger than old. To the wind, to the sun, to the earth, to the waters: moons and the stars will be all that one sees. If you look very close, you'll see nothing at all. If you look very far, you'll see something that you are. If you look in between you'll see danger and peace. If you don't look at all, you'll hear screaming and laughing, fighting and loving, killing and living. Follow the lines, but mind you stay clear. Evil is goodness and goodness is fear…"

_What the hell kind of hibbledy-gibbledy, mumbo jumbo is this? Not quite poetry or even a riddle. Circle talk, really. _

After an hour or so of reading on and on like this, the books pages flew shut, and the familiar face was looking back at me.

"Severus, it's like I said before. The book is showing me things, or rather, I think _I'm_ showing me things," I tried to explain.

"I'm coming over there to have a look. Try not to make any sudden movements. I want to see this." He strode quickly over to me, while I sat as still as I could. He looked over my shoulder. She, or I, was still there, and I waited to see his reaction. "What do you see?"

"You can't see it?" I asked, beginning to wonder if I was hallucinating. "It looks like me; the way I saw myself in the mirror that night when we were kids. You really don't see it?"

"The way you were in the mirror?" He looked lost. "Are you alone?"

"Yes, it's always me. It's like I'm trying to tell myself something, but it's not exactly...well, I can't explain it."

He still looked like he was deep in thought and almost…worried. "The book appears to be blank. I cannot even see the table of contents anymore. Close it, will you, just for a while?" he asked.

I did as he requested. "What's wrong, Severus? Is there something else on your mind?" I could tell that there was.

"I was just thinking about the mirror and something you told me last night. May I ask you some questions, even if they are difficult ones?"

"I know I gave you a lot of information. Some of it was a bit cryptic. Go on," I encouraged him. He sat on the ottoman and took my hands in his.

"Did your brother tell you everything about the night you were taken from your parents?" he asked gently.

"He told me everything that he knew," I replied sadly. "I didn't tell you all the details. My parents were killed that night. My brother was under the Imperius Curse, remember? Well, my brother mentioned that he was forced to use the killing curse on our parents. He said something about Death Eaters and Squibs. He lived for a minute or so after turning the wand on himself. There wasn't much time for details."

Snape nodded and asked, "Was he a Sorcerer like you?"

"No, but he was a very powerful wizard. He was able to successfully use the killing curse at age eight," I replied.

"I'm sorry to ask you these things, but…"

"Don't be. I want you to know everything." I squeezed his hands reassuringly. "My brother was used to carryout the wishes of The Guardians, who were very bitter that they were Squibs. They wanted me for some reason that even he did not know," I continued.

"It is important that we find out why that is, Ellie. It doesn't seem to make sense, does it?" he pondered.

"No, it doesn't. I haven't been able to figure it out yet. I think it has something to do with Squibs and how they relate to Sorcerers, and definitely something to do with revenge of sorts on my parents," I surmised.

"One day we'll know, but I am thankful that you are all right. I am sorry that I cannot answer these questions for you," he soothed and kissed my hands. "The next question is of a very private nature, so you don't have to answer, all right?"

"Go ahead, Severus."

"How do you know that you canot have…children? Are you certain?" He was trying very hard to put it delicately.

"After the…rape…before I escaped the Muggles in the hospital, a doctor told me. The brutality caused severe trauma and I nearly bled to death. It was like my insides were turned to jelly. The Muggles tried to repair the damage, but it was too severe. When I returned to the wizarding world, I went to countless healers and they confirmed what the Muggle doctors had said: It was a miracle that I had survived and children would never be a possibility."

I began to tear-up. "That night in the mirror you weren't the only one I saw with me. I saw my children. If I had known it would be the only time I would see them, I would have looked longer." I was crying a little now. "Sorry, Severus, it just really hurts."

He moved to me and embraced me. "I know you always wanted children, Kinsington. It isn't fair that he took that from you as well. If he were still alive today, I would make him pay dearly."

"I have accepted it, but I will never forgive him. I have to go on with my life. That is the one thing I wouldn't let him take." I wasn't crying any more and I straightened up. "Thank you for your tact and understanding, but I don't ever want to talk about that particular issue, ever again," I said sternly.

"I will never speak of it. Thank you for telling me. I know it was impossibly difficultfor you," he replied.

"Do you want to ask me anything else?"

"Not at the moment. But I would like very much to kiss you right now," he whispered.

I leaned into him and we kissed for a long while. I was happier than I had been since we were together in our youth. It seemed unreal but truly amazing that this was happening. The burden that had weighed so heavily on my thoughts and my heart was lifting away to reveal a girl that I had all but forgotten.

"Shall we go to dinner?" he asked.

"Yes, an excellent idea, Professor." We stood and embraced and then made our way to the Hall for the meal.

"Miss Kinsington, would you do me the honor of joining me for dinner Monday night?" he asked formally.

"Why yes, Professor, that sounds most agreeable. Where shall you take me?" I played formal as well.

"There is a quiet restaurant just inside Diagon Alley called Antonita's. I have never dined there, but I hear tell that it is rather good, authentic Italian. If this is to your liking, I shall arrive at you quarters you up at seven thirty to secort you," Snape crooned silkily.

_This is going to be our first real romantic date, all alone!_

"I would be honored to accompany you, Professor," I confirmed when we got to the door.

Now we had to pretend that everything was normal so that no one would know about us. During the meal, we talked only with the other teachers, as was our usual behavior. When our charade was over, I returned to my rooms for the rest of the night.

I took another bath, changed into my nightdress, and then decided to make myself some hot chocolate. As I drank my chocolaty beverage, I looked at my clothes wondering what I should wear on my date. After I had finished, I went out on to the balcony and sat for hours, enjoying the warm, sweet air, as I gazed over the rose garden and the grounds. What a magnificent day it had been. I wanted so badly to go to Severus, but decided not.

I got in bed around eleven, which was early for me these days, and fell asleep in no time at all. I dreamed of him and the life that might have been.

"Who's there?" I called out as I woke up, startled; suddenly aware that I was not alone. I only saw a shadow and gasped loudly.

"It is me," answered the most wonderful voice of all. My Potions Master slid into bed with me. I fell into his arms and he showered my face and lips with his kisses. "I was waiting for you to come to me, but then I decided to take matters into my own hands. Do you mind?" he asked, continuing to kiss me and sliding his hands over my breasts.

"I was wondering what took you so long," I moaned.

_I'm not in the mood to be gentle tonight, my Slytherin sex god!_

I forced him on his back and climbed on top. He looked very pleased as I began to rip off his clothes.

"NO!" I scolded him when he tried to help me. "You will do as I say tonight, Professor!" Snape growled at me in frustration, which made me giggle devilishly. "I'll show you who's the boss now, Snape!"

He put his hands behind his head and watched in amusement as I feverishly continued. When we were both naked, I pressed my breasts on his chest, and began to kiss and bite his neck. Severus let out a low, guttural moan. I moved my hips in small circles, teasing and torturing him.

"Oh, Professor," I grunted.

My dark lover replied, "Yes, Miss Kinsington," before grabbing my hips, and bucking into me. "You are mine to do with as I please."

"Gods, Severus," I groaned.

I could feel his hot, lusty breath on my ear. I reached back and twisted my fingers in his long, black hair, pulling his lips to my neck.

When it was over, Severus held me like that; my back pressed to him firmly. "Good lord, Kinsington, you never cease to amaze me."

My lips could not move to form a proper reply. Instead, I just mumbled something like, "Blimey."

* * *

I made sure to wake him early. That way, he could go back to his rooms in time for a meeting with Professor McGonagall about the end of year arrangements. 

I hated it when he left, and could not sleep again without him. I decided to get up early and go to Hogsmeade, for breakfast with professor Flitwick, who always did this on Sundays.

After breakfast, I went to a dress store to buy a new one for my date, since I had decided that I had nothing to wear. I found a lovely red one that was backless and quite sophisticated. I would make him drool I thought to myself. I had lunch in Hogsmeade also, and decided to invite Tibbs, to thank him for always being so warm and friendly. He was such a sweet old man: rather grandfatherly I thought. After kissing him on his dear old cheek, I made my way back to Hogwarts to see what Snape was up to.

He was yelling at the Weasley twins for setting off dungbombs in the hallway when I found him.

"You will each receive a deduction of twenty points!" Snape spat at them. "Don't laugh, Mr. Weasley! You find this is amusing, do you? We will see how amusing it is when your parents discover that you are barely passing! I have seen trolls who possess more intellectual abilities than the two of you combined!"

The twins saw me approach. "Good afternoon, Miss Kinsington!" George said happily.

"Hello, Miss Kinsington! How are you?" asked Fred.

"Better than the two of you, I imagine," I uttered, smiling as Snape turned his glare on me. "Dungbombs again? I would have thought you two would have gotten more creative than that by now."

They held in their laughs but couldn't keep their smiles hidden. "Do not encourage them! I would think that you, of all people, Miss Kinsington, would realize the dangers of such an explosion!" Snape fired at me. "I suppose next you shall be instructing me not to take points from your hallowed house of Gryffindor!"

"Absolutely not." Fred and George looked disappointed. "You are entitled to discipline the students any way you see fit, Professor Snape," I assured as he leered at me.

"Get back to your dorms, before I have you in detention for the rest of the week!" he fired at Fred and George.

They wasted no time in running off, and sang out happily as they passed me, "See you Miss Kinsington!" I waved them off and Snape turned to me with a scowl.

I thought he was going to let me have it, but he just growled out, "I am pleased that you did not interfere."

"I wouldn't dream of it." And I wouldn't, not for something so mild.

"Did you enjoy your visit to Hogsmeade?"

"How do you know where I've been all day?" I asked.

"I've had you followed," he snapped. He then pointed to the package from the dress shop that I had forgotten I was carrying.

"Oh, right," I shook my head, "Yes. I had a nice time."

Snape was wearing his trademark scowl. "Did you?" he asked nastily.

Ignoring his foul mood I told him, "I have something for you ." I reached into my robes and pulled out a set of three, top-notch, black ostrich quills which I had purchased in Flourish and Blott's. I had noticed him cursing his quill lately, as it had seen better days. "Oh, and I found a tea that I haven't seen in ages. It was quite popular in India. It is very robust ,and I thought you might like to give it a try and maybe give it your own Potions Master's touch." I handed him the box of tea.

He looked surprised and his scowl faded a little. "Thank you. You shouldn't have."

I rolled my eyes and replied, "Oh please, Severus! It's only tea, and that quill of yours was beginning to give me a headache! I have never heard you use such language!"

_Except for last night in bed._

"I have heard you use far worse, Kinsington! You could make a sailor blush," he chided.

_How true._

I agreed and put my dress box on a shelf behind his desk. I heard a rich baritone voice say,"_Imperturbable_." I turned to see him run his wand across the door as he made this sound-proofing charm. I was just about to ask him why, when he grabbed me and flung me on his desk.

"Why Professor, are you trying to tell me something?"

A mischievous grin appeared on his lips just before he began madly kissing me. I grabbed his hair firmly and wrapped my legs around his waist as he stood there. We got rowdy and tore into each other. When we had finished, his desk was in total disarray. I laughed as I straightened my dress and helped him reorganize it. He lifted the charm and began to brew the tea I purchased for him. I came up behind him and nibbled his ear while wrapping my arms around him.

"That was most unexpected. I shall have to buy you quills more often," I joked.

"Oh, yes that's what did it," he hissed, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "There is nothing like a proper quill to make me destroy my desk."

"So, what do you think you shall add the tea?" I asked. "I can't wait to see what you come up with."

He tasted the tea and remarked, "Not bad. Your taste is rather good, Kinsington...perhaps some spearmint?" He sipped it again after he had added it, and stated, "Perfection," in a very self-praising way.

He brought us both a cup and then offered, "Why don't you stay in my rooms tonight? We are far less likely to be discovered here."

I was surprised he would take such a risk on a school night. I was also very surprised at the way he had asked, as if he really wanted me to do it. Being a Gryffindor had only added to my stubborn nature. I would not go soft so easily.

"What makes you so sure that I want to spend the night with you?" I asked nonchalantly. "Perhaps I am otherwise engaged."

"It was not a request," he hissed.

"Fine!" I snapped, but quickly added in a gentler tone, "But I get the right side of the bed." He was, of course, always at my left.

"As long as you are with me, you can sleep on whatever part of me…I mean bed, that you like! I seem to sleep more soundly with you there, even though you talk incessantly," he spat.

"I do no such thing!" I pretended to sound offended and he gave me a chastising look. "So, anyway, did McGonagall say whether or not I need to escort the students to Hogsmeade on Friday?"

"She did indeed. She will not be able to make it due to a prior engagement," he informed and I nodded. "Dinner time? Oh hell, we're late," he muttered as he looked at the clock. "You go on ahead. I will follow in a few minutes."

"Right, then." I stood and handed him my empty cup. "See you soon." I pecked him on the cheek and went to the door. "Perhaps we should rearrange the carpet in your bedroom when we get back? It looks ridiculously neat and tidy." I winked and left.

Later in bed that night, after making love on the rug, and against the wall, and precariously close to the fire, we fell exhausted into each other's arms. "Goodnight, Severus," I whispered as I kissed him on his lips.

"Hm, do not run off without waking me first. I hate reaching out for you, only to find the pillows," he mumbled sleepily. Again we slept entwined, never once daring to part.

He woke me with a kiss, earlier than I would have liked, so I pouted as I started to dress. "I need a coffee," I whined. "The sun isn't even out yet."

He wore only a towel around his waist as he went to take a shower. "Perhaps a shower would do the trick? Stop simpering and fooling with those clothes and join me!" he ordered.

"I can't get in there with you! We'll never make it out in time!" I grumbled.

"Do shut up, Kinsington! We have plenty of time, and I swear I will be a perfect gentleman. Now come! The air is cold and the water is hot."

"Bugger off! And since when have you ever been a gentleman?"

"Kin-sing-ton," he growled.

"All right! But if you try anything, I'll slap you and leave immediately," I huffed.

It was wonderful having someone to wash my back. I wanted to jump him, but restrained myself.

"See now, all better," he proclaimed, turning so I could wash his back now. As I lathered him up I smiled to myself and thought how good he felt all slippery and foamy. "What do you think you're doing?" he asked when I kissed at his neck. "Kinsington, you had better stop, or I'll take you right here and now!"

"I know, I just can't help myself," I giggled sweetly. "Here, it's time to rinse off."

"You are just so sexy," he declared as he let his hands wander, "You little tease."

We controlled ourselves and finished up. I was shocked to see fresh clothes of mine in his wardrobe when I went into the bedroom.

"I told you not leave your door unlocked," he scolded. "Now get dressed and be gone with you."

I kissed him and then did as he said; although it was difficult with him pawing at me and grabbing my butt.

The day was a very busy one. Neither of us saw each other until seven thirty, when he arrived at my doors. He presented me with a gorgeous bouquet of flowers before he entered.

"Are those…red Lilies? I thought Lilies were only white?" They were the exact color of my dress.

"They are indeed, and no, only Muggle Lilies are all white. Wizard's Lilies are also red," he informed.

"I love them! No one has ever brought me flowers before; and my favorite color too!" I was impressed.

"I know," he responded, seeming pleased with himself. "Might I say that you look breathtaking, Ellie. I am honored to be your escort this evening." He held his arm for me to take it.

I blushed at his compliment and took his arm. "Thank you, Severus. What should I do with these?"

"Bring them of course. They will look excellent at our table. Shall we?" We walked out the door and into the hallway.

"Won't someone see us?" I asked, rather concerned.

"Perhaps, but there is a Portkey just over here." He pointed to a sconce that had no torch. We reached it and he said, "Ladies first." Five seconds later, we were in Diagon Alley, just outside the restaurant.

_How romantic!_

He opened the door for me and we met a lovely witch who directed us to our table. It was on the top floor, which was dimly lit by candles, with soft Italian opera playing in the background. We sat by the window overlooking a Muggle park. We held hands across the table and I started to feel butterflies in my stomach.

_This was our first real date!_

A witch brought us a bucket of ice with a bottle of champagne and two crystal flutes. She popped the cork, poured our glasses, and then left us with the menus.

He raised his glass. "I shall propose a toast," he said debonairly.

"What shall we toast, Severus?" I raised my glass.

"To Gilderoy Lockhart: may his wallet be as empty as his head!" he toasted.

"I'll drink to that," I agreed as we clicked our glasses together. "You really are an old romantic, aren't you?" I asked sarcastically.

He grunted and asked, "So, is this a proper date?"

"So far."

"What would you recommend? You are the one who spent time in Italy." This was the first time he had mentioned my travels and not been rude.

"It is hard to go wrong with Italian. Anything that sounds good probably will be," I assured.

"I shall allow you to order for us, but be forewarned: If I do not like mine, I will eat yours instead."

_I've got something for you to eat alright!_

When the witch returned for our order, I spoke with her in Italian and asked several questions about the way things were prepared, and the specialties of the house. I ordered our food and thanked her graciously.

"How many languages do you speak, Kinsington? That was quite impressive, and dare I say…sexy." He looked a little turned on.

"All of them. I just can somehow, it seems natural. I don't even realize it, it just happens," I honestly answered.

"A Gryffindor to rival the insufferable know-it-all Granger herself," he spat.

"Codger!" I retorted.

"Remarkable. You truly are brilliant, not to mention the most stunning woman I have ever laid eyes on."

"Severus, don't play with me." I blushed and looked shyly at the table.

He took my hands again and assured, "I would never joke about something like that. How can you not know? You never did seem to, and that bewilders me. Everything about you is so real and yet... fantastical. You bewitch me, Kinsington."

_Gods, I love this man! He seems to pierce directly into the heart of me with only a glance. Nasty bugger!_

The room was suddenly very hot and it didn't help that he was kissing my fingers.

"So what did you order us, anyway?"

I snapped out of the daydream to answer him. "Well, for you I got the house special, cheese and lobster ravioli with tomato cream sauce. For myself, I ordered the chicken and shrimp fettuccini in garlic basil wine sauce. I think we shall both be rather pleased. The chef is from Tuscany, and they know their stuff, let me tell you."

"Hm," he grunted in approval. We chatted about my times in Italy until it arrived. "Perhaps you will get the chance to show me around some of these places you've been. You make it seem fascinating."

"I would love to." I tried my food. "Oh, divine," I proclaimed, "This is exactly the right amount of basil. How do you like yours?"

"Quite possibly the best food I've ever tasted," he stated. "Would you like to try some?"

"Yes I would, it looks yummy." I was preparing to take my fork and get some of his pasta, but he shook his head. Instead, he took his own fork and fed it to me. "Uhm, that's good."

"Have a little more," he encouraged and fed me again. I knew he was enjoying this.

After an hour or so, the witch came back to clear our plates and ask about dessert.

"Oh no, I couldn't possibly eat anything else," I lied.

_That Tira Misu looks so good! I can taste it already!_

"Don't be ridiculous!" he barked at me. "She'll have that," he said, pointing at the tray, "with two forks!"

He could read my mind, even without using his Legilimancy.

After we had fed that to each other and prepared to leave, the song came on that we had shared our first dance to, years ago. I hesitated a moment and looked at him to see if he remembered. He pulled me to the center of the room and began to dance with me, in front of everyone!

"I remember how pretty you were when this song last played," he said. I looked at him with wide eyes. "Oh yes, I remember." He pulled me closer and kissed me sweetly. "That was for Malfoy," he said and kissed me again, "And_ that_ was for me."

_This is way too good to be true! At any moment, I will wake up and I would be alone, somewhere far from here._

As the song ended people began to applaud. I laughed and buried my head in his chest.

"Mind your business!" Severus yelled at our audience.

We made our way out to the street below, holding hands as we walked slowly.

"Severus, you are one hell of a date. Thank you so much, I had the best time," I said as we returned to the Portkey.

"It was tolerable," he hissed.

_Translation: I had a wonderfull time too._

We were back in the corridor near my rooms. "Where do you think you're going?"

"To my rooms, of course," I stated impatiently.

"Need I remind you of our agreement? You are coming with me," he said firmly.

We crept to the dungeons to stay together, yet again. We made love very slowly and passionately that night. The perfect end to a perfect date. Every night that week I stayed with him and prayed he would return from his trip unharmed.

* * *

Thursday afternoon, after I had made Harry, Ron and Hermione promise to write to me over the holiday, I was surprised to see another student waiting for me. It was Draco Malfoy and his snobby little grin. 

"Miss Kinsington, my father has asked me to give this to you." He handed me an envelope with the Malfoy family crest in black wax. "It is an invitation to my welcome home party that I have every year. I asked him to invite you." Draco smiled haughtily. "I do hope you can make it. Father and mother are both dying to see you. He's told me an awful lot about you from when you were in school together."

_Oh, I bet he has! I bet he omitted the part about my being his dragon shield!_

"Well, Draco, I am honored that you invited me. When is it?" I was intrigued.

"This Friday, tomorrow night. You can ride on the train with me if you like! Then you can ride with me and my father to our manor." He seemed very keen on the idea.

_Maybe this little git does have a bit of a crush?_

"Thank you, Draco, that sounds like fun." _Yeah, loads of fun_ "I will, however, need to check my appointments book, to make sure that Professor Dumbledore doesn't need me here at the castle," I replied graciously.

"Of course. Well I have things to do, so I'm going now, but do try and make it, Miss Kinsington," he emplored hopefully.

"I shall let you know by breakfast tomorrow. Oh, and, Draco, do thank your father for me, would you?"

_I wonder if Lucius is up to something? I can't wait to tell Snape! _

When I was sure the students were asleep, I made the familiar, secretive journey to see Severus. He was already in his bedroom when I got there.

"You'll never guess what I got today," I blurted out.

"An invitation to the Malfoy's end of term party tomorrow night," Snape said casually.

"How do you know everything before I can tell you?"

He was finishing my sentences and answering my questions before I asked him more and more lately.

"I received one last year. I thought you might also be receiving one this year," he explained. "I went last time, but I hadn't planned on it this year, until now."

"Why is that, prey tell?"

"There is now way I am letting you go without me! Lucius may be up to something." He sounded suspicious.

"Well, Draco invited me to go on the train with him. He was very eager for me to say yes."

"He's a bit young for you isn't he?" he teased. "If you were my teacher, I suppose I too would be smitten. Why don't you go on the train? You can keep an eye on Darco and I will arrive ahead of time to gauge the atmosphere. I shall accompany Lucius to pick you up at the station. Do not go with him if I am not there. Make up and excuse, and meet me at the Leaky Cauldron. I don't think Malfoy would try anything around Draco. I am also sure he will let me come with him to get you, but let us not take any unnecessary risks."

"Lovely. The train ride will be so very…long. I will try and keep his mouth full of candy so he won't… try and do whatever." I rolled my eyes.

"Hm…well, at least you know how to deal with the young Malfoy men," he teased.

"Ha, ha very amusing, Severus!" I pouted.

He wrapped his arms around me from behind and started kissing and nibbling on my neck. "Let's get in bed and I'll show you how a real man works, Kinsington."

"Where will you find him, this real man?" I teased.

He turned me around and kissed me. "Not on the Hogwarts Express, I assure you." I gave him a play slap to the chest, and pulled him into the bed on top of me.

* * *

The students were all over the place the next morning after breakfast. It was like refereeing a Quidditch match of gargantuan proportion. When we arrived in Hogsmeade and got the students on the train, it was a huge relief. Draco helped me with my bag and proudly escorted me to his compartment with Crabbe and Goyle. Hermione looked at me as if to say she was very sorry and I looked at her, wishing I could join her instead. At least this way, Harry and the others could enjoy their last moments together, while I kept the Slytherins occupied. 

As I had predicted, it was a very long ride, but Draco had such enthusiasm that I was somewhat amused. I hated to admit it, but I was actually looking forward to seeing Lucius and Narcissa. When we got off the train I was glad to see that Severus was waiting with Lucius. I wasn't sure what kind of excuse I was going to make if he hadn't been there.

"Miss Kinsington, thank you for coming. We are going to have an excellent time, aren't we son," Lucius Malfoy said. Snape took my bag and also one of Draco's. "Our driver is waiting, shall we?" The car looked eerily like the one that The Guardians had, when they would pick me up from the station. "Would you care for a drink?" asked Lucius.

"It is a bit early, Lucius," I replied, looking at Severus who was taking a drink now. Severus looked at me as if to say, 'go ahead, it's not poison.' I relented and took a martini. "I suppose the end of school is a good occasion." I smiled. Draco grinned happily up at me.

"It has been far too long, Ellie," Lucius began. "Severus has assured me that you will be staying on at Hogwarts. I am quite pleased to hear it."

"I love it really. I can't believe how much better it is the second time around," I replied.

"When will you be finished and become a certified Professor?"

"At the end of next year, I think. You'll have to ask Severus though. It's Potions that is really holding me back."

Lucius grinned at Snape and remarked, "Is that right?" The grimace on Snape's face was priceless. "I am sure you two can reach some sort of agreement?" Lucius drawled slyly.

"She will be finished in a reasonable amount of time, Malfoy," Snape said begrudgingly.

With a chuckle, Lucius stated, "I'm sure. So, Draco tells me that you are quite proficient at playing the Muggle piano. When did you learn to play?"

"Oh, he exaggerates I, assure you." I looked at Draco. "I try to give my students examples of all sorts of culture. The piano is just one way I do this." I really was very good though. I could probably have made a living of it.

"Father, she really is amazing and she can sing as well!"

_Shut up, Draco!_

Lucius said rather seductively, "Well, we have a piano at the manor. Perhaps you will indulge us this evening."

_Bloody fabulous! Can't I ever just go somewhere and not be put on display?_

"Oh, I don't know," I looked at Severus, "We'll see how it goes."

I finished my drink and refused a refill. After nearly an hour of conversation, we arrived at the Malfoy's manor.

"Ellie, darling, fabulous to see you. I do believe you get prettier every time I see you," said Narcissa snobbily. "Draco, please show Miss Kinsington to our finest guest suite, so she can put down her things."

"Nice to see you as well, Narcissa. Thank you, Draco," I said as he took my bag and showed me to the suite. When he had placed my bag in a chair we returned to the parlor to have a snack.

I sat next to Severus on the couch, but not too close.

"Our guests will be arriving around six, so please, eat something. Dinner won't be served until seven," instructed Narcissa. "Draco, please allow Miss Kinsington some room to move! You are smothering her!" she scolded.

Draco pouted, moving from the couch to a seat closer to Lucius. I smiled at him sweetly, reassuring him that it was fine.

"I see you still have a fondness for chocolate. Some things never change," observed Malfoy.

"Yes, and others do," I muttered. "You have a lovely home. Was it your parents', Lucius?"

"No, but we didn't live far from here," he replied. "It is about time Severus brought you here. We were beginning to think he was keeping you all to himself."

Severus and I shifted nervously, but hid our uneasiness as best we could.

_Did Snape tell him about us?_

"Miss Kinsington has been very busy with her studies and her teaching dities," spat Snape.

"Oh, I know what's been keeping her _busy_," Malfoy retorted smugly to Snape. Draco was intrigued.

"Do you?" challenged Snape. He looked at Draco and then at Lucius, giving him a look of reproach for discussing this in front of his student.

"Lucius, are Gregory and Vincent bringing their parents?" I changed the subject before things got nasty.

"Yes, of course. Draco, I think it is time for you to unpack and get your things in order for your friends. Go on now," he directed. Draco sighed but did as he was told.

We chatted about our old school days and of my travels until just after five. I was relived to go to my room and change. I wore a long black skirt and a fitted white blouse. I put my hair into a loose, French knot. I looked nice, but very conservative, and joined Severus just outside my door. He looked annoyed. Malfoy was testing his patience.

"When this is over, you are coming with me back to the castle," Snape demanded in a very possessive way. "Lucius will try to make you stay, but since he is convinced that you and I are seeing one another, he will not protest."

I agreed and we joined the other guests, who were beginning to arrive. I always seemed to be the subject of great interest at social occasions. I was beginning to get used to it by now. During dinner I sat to the right of Snape and to the left of Draco.

"Miss Kinsington, would you show us that thing you did in class? Crabbe and Goyle haven't seen it yet!" begged Draco.

"Well, Draco, I don't think your parents would like me to blast out their windows in the middle of dinner," I said, hoping not to be treated as a party clown, but Lucius insisted. "All right, but that is it. No more tricks."

Yet again, I did the magnificent spell like I had in charms long ago. Upon its completion I received thunderous applause. Snape just shook his head and continued to drink heavily.

Draco cornered me and pleaded with me to play a song.

"Please Miss Kinsington, you said you would play for us," he whined.

Lucius and Narcissa insisted. Everyone followed me into the drawing room where I was pleased to find a gorgeous grand piano. I sat at the bench and then asked Draco for a request.

"I think you should do the one by that French impressionist Muggle," Draco requested.

"Do you mean Debussy?" Draco nodded. "Well, he is my favorite. I think Claire de Lune…"

I took a deep breath, trying not to vomit, and began to play. I always closed my eyes and let my mind wander while playing. I loved music. When I had finished I looked at Severus, who was utterly amazed, and I felt a bit more at ease. Everyone applauded then Lucius stated that I must play another. Everyone seemed to agree with him, so I gave in.

I took a deep breath, trying not to vomit, and began to play. I always closed my eyes and let my mind wander while playing. I loved music. When I had finished I looked at Severus, who was utterly amazed, and I felt a bit more at ease. Everyone applauded then Lucius stated that I must play another. Everyone seemed to agree with him, so I gave in.

_Draco, you little shit!_

When I had finished singing and playing, some of the witches were a bit weepy. I was too. It is a very sad, but beautiful song, and I tended to get carried away with the music. "I think that is quite enough. Thank you all very much for your kind applause." I took a gracious bow and then went to Severus.

Holding a toothy, fake smile, I hissed at Severus, "Get me the hell out of here, now!"

"You missed your calling, Kinsington. You should have been a performer, not a teacher," he quipped nastily.

"Shove it, Snape!"

We made our rounds, thanking our hosts and saying farewells, and then made our way to the door.

"How very enchanting you are, Miss Kinsington," Lucius crooned, kissing my hand. "You and Severus will have to return again soon, when only the four of us can get together." Then he whispered in my ear, "Unless of course, you would like it to be just the two of us?"

_What!?!_

What? "Uhm…yes well…" I stammered. Snape sneered and shook Lucius's hand, then we left.

"Oh, I never thought it would end," I complained once we had walked down the street again.

"Well it could have been far worse," he began, taking my hand in his. "What other tricks do you have in your bag, Kinsington? And where did you learn to sing and play like that?"

"In the basement," I replied. "The Guardians left me alone most of the time, so I learned how to play to keep my mind off things. It was the only noise that wouldn't send them after me with fists flailing," I answered honestly.

Arrogantly he asked, "Is there anything you can't do?"

"I can't turn back time," I muttered. He rubbed my arms then hugged me to him, kissing me softly. "Severus, did you hear what Malfoy said to me in there?"

"No, but I have a very good idea," he hissed angrily. "Do you want to Apparate to the grounds, or shall we take that infernal night bus?"

"Do you even have to ask?" He nodded and then we disapparated and appeared at Hogwarts' front gates. The students had left for the summer and the staff had gone to bed when we arrived, so he came to my rooms with me.

We sat on the balcony. That is when it finally hit me: that this was our last night together for the rest of the summer. I tried to be strong, but he knew something was wrong.

"Try not to worry. I know it will be difficult, but try to remember that it is only for a short time," he comforted.

"I will miss you terribly though," I admitted. "I was away from you for so long, and I just can't imagine being alone again. I do have many things to keep me busy though. I can begin to study for my Charms N.E.W.T.s. Professor Flitwick thinks that I will be ready by August. Then there's always the Weasley's, who have invited me to come and visit. I only hope that Malfoy doesn't ask me to come while you are gone."

"If it is unavoidable, or will look too suspicious, then go. But use caution," he warned. "There are things that you don't know about me, Ellie; things that happened when you were away. I doubt you will be pleased when I tell you. When I return, I hope you will forgive me and allow me to explain." He looked sullen.

"There is nothing you could tell me that would make me leave, Severus. I know, more than anyone, what can happen when your world is turned inside out," I assured him.

"Do not run off again!" Snape demanded.

I moved to sit in his lap and kissed his cheek.

"I will never run away again. How could I, when you are here? I learned my lesson once and I will not repeat my mistakes," I said with tears in my eyes.

He kissed me then buried his face in my neck. I just ran my fingers through his hair and held him. After a while, he looked into my eyes and said that we should try and sleep. I didn't want to. I wanted to be with him as long as possible. However, we did go in and lay in each others arms.

I pressed my lips to his and touched his face with my hand. "Ellie," he whispered and we began to make love. We held close together staring into each other's eyes, until we could not will them open anymore.

He woke me early the day he left. We stayed in bed while I cried in his arms. I kissed him goodbye ,but couldn't say it. I watched from my window as he walked into the forest. Only then could I say, "I love you, Severus."

I looked to my left and he wasn't there. I pleaded with the gods that he would return.

_With all that I am, please keep him safe._

And so began the summer that I was alone; like my whole life, before the day I saw his eyes.

TO BE CONTINUED....

* * *


	8. Chapter Eight: Werewolves and Murderers ...

* * *

**

Chapter 8: Werewolves and Murderers and Snapes, Oh My!

**

June had never been my favorite time of year. When I was young June meant returning to The Guardians. When I grew older June meant that it was time to go to another city and start the search for answers all over again. June was a time of pain and mourning. I had been raped in June. I left my college friends in June. My brother had killed himself in June. Last June was when I decided to find records about my real parents. That meant returning to the home I been taken from as a baby. This June Severus had left me.

I decided that for the rest of June I would leave the castle because I needed a change to keep my mind off Severus. I stayed in Hogsmeade to help Tibbs reorganize his second floor. This plan worked only fairly well, but it did help. Tibbs and I had fun searching through all the books. I enjoyed cooking again. It was nice to have a full kitchen at my disposal, so I made all my old favorites and tried them out on my dear new friend.

When July arrived I went back to the castle and buried myself in Charms with Professor Flitwick. He loved getting me to try spells that he could not seem to make work. At the end of July I took my N.E.W.T.s exam for Charms and received top marks. I knew he wouldn't write, but I waited eagerly to see if Snape would send me an owl at breakfast each morning. Then, in mid August I did receive an owl. It was a copy of the Daily Prophet. I nearly spat out my tea as I read the headlines.

"Sirius Black Escapes Azkaban!" I exclaimed.

When I heard about the Potter's death, I had also heard that their best friend, one of mine as well, had betrayed them. Black had turned them over to Lord Voldemort. I had trouble believing this. Sirius was a scamp, but he loved James like a brother. I thought he would have died rather than do something like that. Something was missing from the story as far as I was concerned. Everyone was afraid that Sirius would go looking for Harry now, to do him in as well. I was conflicted. Did Black really do this, or was he set up?

Professor Dumbledore was very worried and expressed his concerns for Harry's safety. Plans were being made for Harry's protection, which included allowing Dementors to roam the grounds at Hogwarts. I hated Dementors! Dumbledore told us not to trust them or let them anywhere near the castle itself.

"Ellie, I do not believe that Sirius knows of your return. However, I know he was your friend long ago, which means he may try and contact you. Please, notify me at once if he does," Dumbledore strongly advised.

"Of course, Headmaster," I assured him.

"I have found a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I feel this could help the situation. However, it will also increase the likelihood that Black will try and return to the castle," he explained.

"May I ask who it is?" I was very curious.

With a sparkle in his eyes Dumbledore replied, "Remus Lupin."

"Lupin!" I was thrilled, but concerned for many reasons. "Is he...safe? You know, the monthly thing and all?" I asked.

"There is a potion for that now. It is very difficult to brew, but is very effective. I believe our Potions Master will be able to make it for him."

I was excited at the mere reference of Snape.

Dumbledore continued, "Professor Lupin will arrive with the students on the train. I know you two will have a wonderful catching up."

"Where does one begin?" I asked rhetorically. "Professor, may I ask you something?"

"Of course, Miss Kinsington."

"Well, remember that night in your office after the explosion in Gryffindor tower?" I asked timidly.

The Headmaster nodded and said, "Oh yes, that was a momentous occasion."

_The old bloke actually looks happy!_

"You knew I wasn't being truthful. Why did you let me take the blame?"

"There are some things more liberating than the truth, my dear. You see, you sacrificed yourself for your friends. Those friends were divided by a strong barrier. You were friends among enemies. When you made that sacrifice, both sides wanted to take the blame so that you would not be harmed. I have never seen anything like it in all my years. An act of such selflessness deserves rewarding," he explained.

_Only Dumbledore could think of it that way._

I finally understood after all my years of wondering.

"Thank you, Headmaster, that means a lot to me." And it did.

We chatted about my progress in my studies then we parted ways near my rooms.

_Remus Lupin returns to Hogwarts. Severus is going to hate this! I wonder if Sirius will contact me? I need to ask him what happened that day. I won't believe he did it until I hear it with my own ears. I never cared that he killed Peter. He must have had his reasons, like I had had mine. I always hated Peter...I could just never put my finger on it._

Two days before school was to start and my old friend Lupin was to return, I was talking to the teachers at dinner. Suddenly, the doors burst open and the Potions Master entered.

"Welcome back, Professor Snape. I am glad to see you have returned to us," beamed Dumbledore.

"Yes, Headmaster," Snape replied. "I shall meet with you in your office when you have finished supper." He did not even look at me.

"Very well, Severus. Again, welcome back," answered Dumbledore.

Snape turned on his heels and swept out the doors. I wanted so much to follow him, but thought I had better wait for him to call on me. I wondered why he hadn't looked at me. I went to my rooms, hoping he would come but he never did.

He wasn't at breakfast, lunch, or dinner the next day either. That night I went to his office to see what was going on. My knock went unanswered. He never came that night either. It wasn't until the commencement feast that I saw him again.

He pulled me aside before I went in and hissed, "I suppose you have heard about Black?" The way he said Black's name spoke volumes. I nodded. "And of course there's the werewolf Lupin. I expressed my opinions on the matter with Dumbledore." Snape was not at all pleased. "Has your dear friend Black contacted you?" he accused, his hateful eyes boring into me. I was shocked at the manner in which he was acting toward me. It was like nothing had changed.

"No, Severus, I haven't heard a word," I answered coldly.

"Well, I presume you will. Do not hide your little boyfriend from me, Kinsington! Sirius Black will be returned to Azkaban!" he spat.

He retreated from my sight and left me standing in the hallway. My head was spinning from our conversation, so I just stood there for a while. When I took my seat he did not talk with me.

There had been an incident on the train. Apparently, a Dementor had attacked Harry and Lupin had been there to help. I saw my friend enter the hall and I was happy again.

"Remus!" I screamed. I threw my hands around his neck and kissed him on the cheek.

"Kinsington! My gods! I can't believe it!" exclaimed Lupin as we hugged happily. "We were all so terribly worried! Thank gods, you are all right!"

"I'm sorry, I really am. I will explain it all later. For now, I am just so glad you're here! I can't believe we are both teachers now!" I took his arm and escorted him to the staff table. "Can you believe how much Harry looks like James? And he's really a great Wizard. Oh, Remus!" I finally released him and he took his seat to my right. Once again I was between the enemies, just like old times.

"Professor Snape, good to see you again," Lupin called out warmly.

"Hm," Snape growled. "Yes...we are so lucky that you have graced us with your presence," he said acidly.

Snape looked furious and shot me a look of hate. This was going to be a difficult time.

"I see he hasn't changed much," whispered Lupin, "What was that look for?"

"Don't ask. I haven't a clue," I lied.

I ignored Severus, since he was obviously not going to talk to me. I turned my attention to Lupin and asked, "Have you been well?" He looked tired and his robes were quite shabby.

"Not bad for a werewolf," he whispered. "I am looking forward to this year. I am looking forward to getting to know Harry." He smiled and looked over at the Gryffindor table, where all of them were looking back at us. "So, you came back last year? If I had known I would have paid you a visit."

I replied, "Well, we have plenty of time to catch up now."

We chatted excitedly about Harry and his friends for the rest of the meal. Snape practically ran out, but not without throwing us a look that could kill. "Well, Lupin, you should get settled in. If you need anything, my rooms are on the third floor where Professor Saturn used to live." I patted him on the back and went to my rooms.

Yet again, Severus did not come to me.

_This is fucking ridiculous!_

I marched to the dungeons to have it out with him.

"Excuse me, but do you have some sort of problem?" I asked as he opened the door.

"Don't be so indiscreet!" he hissed letting me enter.

"I haven't seen you in months, Severus! I thought we had reached an understanding?" I softened and leaned to kiss him but he stepped away looking disgusted.

"I have changed my mind about things. I would like you to leave me now," he demanded coldly.

I was totally unprepared for this reaction. "What? But, Severus, I..."

"Are you deaf woman? I asked you to leave!"

"No!" I yelled defiantly.

"Surely you do not think I was serious last year? I had my fun with you and now I am bored!" He glared at me evilly. I slapped his face and he grinned back at me. "Feel better? Now go!"

I couldn't speak another word. I slammed the door behind me as I left.

_Did he just use me to get revenge for what I did? It seemed so real, surely it had been. I am such a fool! How could I have thought it would be that easy?  
_

* * *

Over the next several weeks, I heard nothing from Snape outside our lessons. I spent hours with Lupin and was truly glad to have my old friend again. We were in Lupin's office one night when we decided to have a conversation that I had been avoiding for years. 

"Lupin, I heard about Lily and James when I was in college. I was horrified and I am so sorry that I wasn't around for you when you needed a friend." My lips began to tremble as I tried to fight the tears.

"It was really bad times all around, Ellie," Lupin explained gently. "The terror of Voldemort's reign was incomprehensible. Entire wizarding families were being picked off, one by one. When James and Lily..." He was now very upset, and I was crying. "When it happened, and I had heard that Sirius had betrayed the Fidelius Charm...it was just too much."

"Are you sure it was Sirius? I have never really been able to believe it. It just seems too terrible and... convenient," I sobbed.

"I don't know, Ellie, I just don't know. I have always had my doubts. I have tried to understand, to make sense of it all. Now that he's escaped from Azkaban, we have to keep our eyes and ears open. We won't allow anything to happen to Harry," Lupin declared.

"I miss them all so much." I began to cry harder so Lupin hugged me to comfort me.

"Lupin, I have prepared your potion," spat Snape.

His loud voice startled us, causing us to jump. "Oh now, do not stop on account of me!" Snape hissed. "See that you drink this, Lupin! I did not brew it for my own enjoyment. It is time consuming and I have better things to do!" roared Snape as he glared at me angrily.

"Thank you very much, Severus. I do appreciate it," Lupin replied.

"Do go on! Don't let me ruin your little rendezvous!" Snape bellowed and then slammed the door.

Walking in to find me in Lupin's arms had given Snape the wrong impression.

"Uh...what in the blazes was that about?" querried Lupin. There was a look of utter confusion on his face.

"He's jealous, I think," I responded.

"Are the two of you...I mean, again?" He was astounded.

"I thought so, but who knows now," I said in exasperation. "He hasn't spoken to me since June, really."

"What do you want Ellie?"

"What I've wanted all my life, Remus: Him."

_There. I said it._

"I always knew you loved him, Ellie. We all did. I hope you know what you're in for."

"No, but I'm going to find out right now. See you tomorrow, Lupin."

I knew Remus understood, so I left to chase after Snape.

I pounded on his office door until my hands were sore. Finally, the greasy git opened it.

"Grown tired of your hairy little friend already?" he accused.

"Severus, please let me come in," I begged.

"I am busy!" he snapped. "I do not want to hear anything about it! Do you understand, Kinsington?"

My temper was getting the better of me when I finally asked, "Why are you treating me like this?"

He stared at me sternly for a while, and then moved away from the door to allow me to enter. "I don't know what you think I was doing up there, but we were talking about Lily and James, Severus. We were both upset and we were hugging because we are friends. Nothing else."

"A likely story! Why should I believe you?"

"Oh, I don't know! Maybe because I am fucking in love with you!" I yelled, not even realizing what I had said.

He gaped at me in surprise. That got his attention. We hadn't mentioned that in fifteen years.

I continued to yell at him, "I am tired of playing these ridiculous games! I don't know what to do to make you trust me! If you don't want me, then tell me! But I want you to know that I love you, Severus! I always have and I always will! It will never change!"

I was panting from my rampage but kept going. "If that isn't how you feel, then tell me and I will leave you alone forever! I can't take this anymore! It's tearing me apart!"

I ran from the room and cried all the way back to mine. I had laid it all out for him. He knew how I felt and now it was up to him. I couldn't stop crying all night. I just lay there in bed and sobbed my broken heart out.

_oooooooooo_

Hours later, I could feel his presence in my rooms.

"Kinsington...may I come in for a moment?"

I didn't answer. I just turned to face the other way and kept on crying. He came in anyway.

"I have something I would like to discuss with you."

"I have nothing more to say to you," I sobbed.

He sat beside me on the bed, placing his hand on my arm. "I have been very angry since I returned," he began. "When I saw the two of you, I thought the worst. I have not been completely fair to you. I never thought that I could never forgive you when you left me that night, Ellie. When you came back, it all changed."

I stopped crying a little and turned to him to listen.

"I wish I could, because then it wouldn't hurt so much. But I can't hate you," I whispered as I sat up.

"This is no good, Ellie. It just isn't working."

I was scared to death. _Is he going to ask me to leave him?_ "What isn't working?" I asked, not wanting to hear him break my heart.

"All this sneaking around, hiding our feelings from everyone. We are too old to be acting like teenagers," he replied seriously.

"I want you to marry me," he whispered.

"What?" I exclaimed in total shock. _Did he really just say that?_ "Are you out of your fucking mind!" I yelled.

He did not seem to notice my ranting, and continued, "Ellie Charlotte Kinsington, I am madly in love with you. Will you be my wife?"

My mouth and eyes were wide open and I couldn't make a sound. He pulled something out of his robes. It was a small, red leather box. He opened it to reveal a magnificent diamond ring. He took it out of the box and took my hand in his, holding the ring just at my finger. He grinned, "Will you marry me, Ellie?"

I didn't know how to answer that.

_Two hours ago, he had acted like he hated me, and now...what the hell? _

I just stared at him and then at the ring.

Patiently, Severus explained, "I had planned to ask you as soon as I returned. Instead, I decided to act like a jealous idiot for a while."

"Well, you were very good at it!" I replied. "I thought you were never going to speak to me again. This is the last thing that I expected!"

"_You_ are last thing I ever expected, Ellie. I was a fool to let you leave me once. I shall ask you again, will you marry me?"

"No. Now get the hell out of my rooms!"

"Will you stop blubbering!" he snapped. "Now give me a reasonable reply!"

"A reasonable reply?" I yelled. "Why the hell should I marry a prick like you?"

"Because you love me."

"So!" I snapped.

"Damnit, Kinsington! Why must you always be so bloody dramatic? Now, say you will marry me!"

"You know I will!" I cried angrily as he slid the ring on my finger. "I love you, you surly bastard!

"And I love you, you annoying little wench!"

"Finally, you admit it!"

"Do shut up!" he snapped.

I rolled my eyes before he planted a kiss on my lips.

"Is it too soon to ask when we might complete this transaction?" he asked smoothly.

After a fit of laughter from hearing him describe our wedding like a business merger, I replied, "Oh please! I wanted to do this ages ago! When can we do it?"

This pleased Severus.

"I am glad to see your enthusiasm, Kinsington." He squeezed me gently. "I will have to speak with Professor Dumbledore and let him know of our intentions. I thought that he could perform the ceremony. If you want a proper Wizard's Fidelius wedding, that is."

"I have never heard of that before. Fidelius...is that anything to do with the charm?" I asked.

"In many ways yes. It is an ancient ceremony that is very uncommon nowadays. I think Dumbledore can explain it better than I. Would you like to see him with me in the morning?" he asked with interest.

"I can't wait to ask Dumbledore about it. I'm going to be your wife!" I smiled excitedly, bouncing up and down on the bed.

"That sounds very odd," he mumbled. "Come here!" He grabbed me and pulled me on top of him. He slid his hand across my face and brushed his lips on mine.

"I love you." As he said this, I wrapped my leg around his and lifted his shirt. He smiled a devilish grin as I moved my hands into his pants. "Are you trying to do what I think you're trying to do?" he whispered hungrily, sliding his hands up the back of my dress and grabbing my bottom.

I nodded flirtatiously and began to remove his pants. "_Imperturbable_," he spelled, so that no one would hear us. I complimented him on his idea and then proceed to remove his shirt and underwear. "Now allow me," he said and returned the favor. He kissed his way over my breasts and stomach, licking at my eager flesh.

That night we were a bit loud. If had he not performed the charm, we surely would have woken the entire floor.

* * *

In the morning I woke up with a smile. I held up my left hand to gaze at the ring. 

_Can this really be happening? It seems more like a dream. If it is, I hope I never wake._

I thought he was still asleep, so I continued to hold my hand in the air and grin about the ring.

"Well, Kinsington, I take it that you like the ring?" Snape muttered in a low growl.

"Oh, I thought you were sleeping," I chuckled. "This is exactly what I wanted to the very last detail. How well you know me."

I was no expert, but it looked to me like a flawless 5-carat, emerald-cut diamond. It had emerald-cut side stones and princess-cut diamonds all around the platinum band. "Do you have a fortune stashed away that I don't know about?" I jokingly asked.

"Hm, something like that," he mumbled. Snape looked at me and arched his eyebrow. "I know you are not marrying me for my money."

"No, I am marrying you because you are such a kind fellow," I replied sarcastically.

"Hm...I might as well tell you that I inherited a small fortune from both sides of my family," he admitted. "I am the last of the Snapes, so I got it all."

"I was only joking! I don't care about money, but I won't complain about it either."

"Well, Kinsington, everything I have is yours," he said with a kiss.

"Then I shall take you and a large block of Honeydukes best. That is all I want," I replied sensibly.

"You're going to need that chocolate, seeing as how we missed breakfast."

"What? Well, we had better get moving. I have to teach today in...fifteen minutes!" I sat up quickly.

"Well, I will see you at lunch." He kissed me quickly. "Do not harm yourself staring at that ring all day. I wouldn't want to find that you've run into a wall and knocked yourself silly," he hissed as he threw on his clothes.

"Right, well I'll try."

I walked him to my door to give him one more kiss. "Lupin!" I exclaimed, startled to find Remus at my door in mid-knock.

"Ellie, I was worried when you missed breakfast. Are you alr..." He had noticed I was not alone. I started giggling. "Oh, uhm...hello, Professor Snape."

"Lupin," he hissed. "Miss Kinsington and I were just ...talking about...oh hell! She is fine!"

Trying not to laugh, Remus said, "I can see that."

Severus turned to me then planted a dramatic kiss on my lips. "See you later, Miss Kinsington." He sneered at Lupin and strode out the door.

"That was disgusting!" Lupin teased as we both had a good laugh. "Unless I am much mistaken, Snape just marked his territory!"

"You have no idea." I raised my hand and twiddled my fingers to show off the ring.

Lupin's jaw hit the floor. "No!"

"Yes!"

"Congratulations!" he exclaimed and gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek. "I thought he was going to challenge me to a duel last night!"

"At it again so soon?" Severus asked calmly as he came back to the room. "I forgot something." His wand was on my bed.

"Don't get the wrong idea! I wasn't trying to..." began Lupin. He thought maybe they would have that duel after all.

Severus rolled his eyes. "Lupin, you really should learn to relax!" he grumbled, putting his wand in his robes. "For some reason, the woman I love seems to value your friendship. It makes no sense to me really, but I trust her."

"Good, I was hoping I wouldn't die today," Remus muttered. "Not before I teach my next class."

"I will save that for another time," Severus replied. I had to laugh and so did Lupin. "Let us go before anymore of your little friends come to manhandle you."

_oooooooooo_

Hermione approached me secretively after class. "Miss Kinsington, I couldn't help but notice that very large diamond ring on your finger. Are you...engaged?" she whispered.

I had a little smirk. "You are far too observant, Hermione. Can you keep a secret for a while?" I asked quietly. She looked excited and nodded 'yes' with great enthusiasm. "Well, yes. I am," I giggled.

"Uhm, well...who...who is it?" she asked.

"You won't believe me if I tell you," I teased. "Oh, all right, but don't tell anyone...unless you think you can trust Ron and Harry. Everyone will know soon, but not just yet. Ok, it's...Professor...Snape."

"What?" she gasped, "Are you joking? I thought you two hated each other?"

"Well actually no, we don't at all. Did you know that we were together during school?"

"Really? Did Harry's dad and your other friends know?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yes, all my friends knew and they gave me quite a bit of hell over it for a while. You see, I was a little advanced in certain subjects so I joined the Slytherins for Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts. That was not easy, with me being a younger Gryffindor and all. Eventually, they accepted me and I had friends from both houses, especially Professor Snape." I smiled dreamily.

"Harry and Ron are going to flip when I tell them! Oh, don't worry, we can trust them," she assured.

"I know. I don't ever want you to keep secrets from your best friends. That can cause a lot of stress. I ought to know," I replied. "We both have a lot to tell our friends," I said with a wink.

She ran on ahead and I followed behind.

Severus hissed out as I took my seat, "You told them, didn't you?"

"Only Hermione. I am sure she is telling Harry and Ron right now," I whispered. "You aren't upset with me, are you?"

"Hm," he grunted. He looked over at the Gryffindor threesome, who were making faces of shock at Hermione. "They aren't going to believe her, you know?" he said calmly.

"They will eventually." I smile and waved as Harry and Ron whipped around to look at me. "Hello, Lupin!" I sang out as he sat next to me. I looked at Severus who rolled his eyes and then started eating again.

"Does anyone know yet?" Lupin asked quietly.

"Only you and Hermione...and now Harry and Ron." I nodded at them again. They were all still chatting and peeking over at me now and again. "Thank you for not criticizing and being a true friend."

"I think it is wonderful, really. I can't believe he finally got up the courage to do it," Lupin said.

"Potter, go back to your seat!" snapped Snape.

"What is it Harry?" I asked.

"Er...is it true, what Hermione just said?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, Potter! Now mind your business and take your seat!" spat Snape.

I laughed and nodded my head.

"Er... right...sorry, Professor," Harry sputtered and ran back to his seat.

Severus shot me an angry look and I just smiled back at him.

"I suppose you will want Potter and his little friends to attend?" he asked. "Hm, well if they must," he relented.

When lunch was over, Severus turned to me and asked, "Would you like to speak with the Headmaster now? I have an hour until my next class."

"Now? Yes, that sounds wonderful!" I exclaimed.

Snape turned to Dumbledore. "Excuse me, Headmaster. Miss Kinsington and I would like to have a word with you...in private."

We walked quietly to his office and took seats across from him at his desk. "How may I help you?" Albus asked with a smile.

Snape looked at me and began. "Miss Kinsington and I are planning to be married."

"Oh, most excellent! Congratulations, both of you. Yes indeed," Dumbledore said happily. "I was wondering when this day would come." Severus and I looked at each other in surprise. "When is the blessed occasion?"

"We had hoped that you would perform the ceremony, Albus. We decided on the Wizard's Fidelius ceremony," informed Severus.

"I would be delighted. I think that is a wise decision." Dumbledore and Snape exchanged knowing glances. "I am very glad you are willing to do it. It is a very powerful ceremony and not everyone is capable of such trust. Ellie, do you understand what it entails?" asked Dumbledore.

"Not completely, sir. I know it is rare and involves the Fidelius ritual," I added.

"Yes, a very complex and binding version of it. When two married people share this bond, it essentially makes them each other's secret keepers. It is impenetrable and essential when faced with danger," he warned. "I know Severus has much to tell you yet, and I know you will understand why he has asked for this. The two of you have been through a great deal together and will no doubt make it through the most horrible and desperate of times...as well as the very good, of course. I have great faith in the two of you. I always have."

"Yes, Headmaster, I do as well. I would not ask her if thought otherwise, because this situation could potentially will be very dangerous for the both of us," Severus said gravely.

I looked at him quizzically. He took my hand and continued, "There are things that I cannot tell you until after we are married. Do you trust me, Ellie?"

"Absolutely, Severus. I trust you with my life," I assured him.

"When would you like to have the ceremony?" asked Dumbledore.

"As soon as possible, Sir," I said.

"I think two weeks from tomorrow I am available. Is that too soon?" he asked.

"Ellie?" Severus asked. I said that is was not. "Yes, Headmaster, I think we shall be ready."

"Wonderful. We shall discuss the details later after the two of you have had some time to talk things over. This is most exciting," Dumbledore pronounced.

"Thank you so much, Professor Dumbledore. We shall see you at dinner," I declared.

We left the office and walked down the corridor. "Are you all right, Severus?"

"I just can not believe it," he said and pulled me aside to kiss me. "Two weeks until you are mine forever."

I squealed happily and hopped up and down. "I can't wait!"

"We can talk in my office after dinner. Right now, we have to go back to teaching," Snape said. I kissed him quickly.

"I love you, see you soon!" I squealed as I walked away, almost skipping.

I had to tell someone so I stopped by Lupin's class and peeked in the door. "Excuse me, Professor Lupin, might I have a word?" I winked at Harry.

"Of course. Class, would you excuse me while I have a word with Miss Kinsington? Miss Granger, could you take over for a moment?" he asked and she agreed. Lupin came out into the hallway.

"Remus, we talked to Dumbledore and two weeks from tomorrow we are getting married!" I exclaimed.

"Ellie, that's great! I am so happy for you!"

"I have a favor to ask of you."

"Anything, Ellie, what is it?"

"I don't have any family you know and you have always been like a brother to me so...I was wondering if you would...give me away?" I asked a little teary eyed.

"I would be absolutely honored to do it. Thank you for asking me," he said, giving me a hug.

"Thank you, Remus. It means a lot to me."

We heard Neville yelling in the classroom. Lupin said quickly, "See you later," and ran back in to his class.

After dinner that night I met Severus in his office. He sat in his chair by the fire and I sat facing him on the ottoman. I told him about Remus and he did not object because he knew it was important to me.

"Gryffindors and Slytherins united again... I think we shall be the first to attempt such a marriage in centuries," he pondered. "If any duels should occcur on our wedding day, which side will you join?" he asked silkily.

"Neither! We will kill the lot of them and get the hell out of there!" I proclaimed. "You don't think that will happen, do you?"

"Not with Dumbledore there," he assured me.

"So whom shall we invite? Do you want it to be just us and the teachers? That would be fine with me, as long as you are there," I insisted.

"I am relieved that you do not want to do this in front of the entire school. As much as I detest being social, I would marry you in front of the entire Ministry of Magic during a world conference," he admitted. "Are you sure a small ceremony is what you want?"

"Absolutely! This is something for just you and me." I leaned to kiss him.

"You need to understand that this means...you cannot back out."

"Severus! You aren't having second thoughts are you?"

After giving me an evil glare he replied, "I was merely afraid that you had come to your senses."

I rolled my eyes and gave him a peck on the cheek. "I need to go to my classroom for a while."

"Why don't you bring a change of clothes when you return? In fact, you can bring the lot of them," he said.

"You are very eager to get me moved in, aren't you?"

"You have no idea," he mumbled as I left.

Two hours later I came back in his office. "I am going to Hogsmeade tomorrow and you are not to follow me," I demanded.

"Secrets already, Kinsington?" he hissed. "Well soon there won't be any. Are you ready for bed?"

"Yes, it has been a very long day. Wonderful, but very long."

* * *

I could hardly eat breakfast the next day due to my excitement. Severus was feeling rather unlike himself. He was holding my hand under the table. He had never done that before but only McGonagall and Lupin could tell. 

Lupin nudged me and whispered in my ear, "Ellie, did you give him some kind of potion or something? He seems almost...happy."

I laughed a little and replied, "No, but I can't believe it either."

"Next Saturday you shall accompany me to Diagon Alley. We need to decide on our...wedding rings," Severus said covertly.

"Good Lord, Professor Snape! Eager to possess her, aren't you!" exclaimed Lupin.

"Shut up Lupin! I believe I was addressing Miss Kinsington!" he hissed.

"The two of you need to learn to coexist before too long!" I snapped.

"Whatever for?" snapped Snape.

"I will not choose between my husband and my friends, Severus."

"You are mine, not his!"

"Really? And all these years I thought I belonged to myself," I huffed.

Remus choked on his coffee as he stifled a laugh. Snape looked like an angry toddler who just had his favorite toy taken away from him.

"Hm," he growled.

"You know how much I love you," I crooned sweetly to the man at my left. He softened a bit but the scowl remained on his face. "Slytherins," I muttered under my breath to Lupin who winked knowingly. "Now if you boys will excuse me, I have a class to teach."

The rest of the week sped by and before I knew it, Severus and I were on our way to Diagon Alley. We decided on a ring that looked like the band of my engagement ring for me; a platinum eternity band with princess cut diamonds all around. For Severus, we chose a thick platinum band with three large, channel-set emerald-cut diamonds. He put our rings in his robes and we Apparated back to the school's gates. For the rest of the day he helped me move more of my things into his rooms. I insisted that he leave some things until after the wedding because I would be spending the night before it there.

"It will be the only day you ever stay without me, do you understand?" he commanded.

"Yes sir, Professor! You are going to be stuck with me forever."

"You make it sound so pleasant, Kinsington."

"It was your idea," I teased.

He looked evil and adorable all at once. "I shall have you, woman," he hissed.

* * *


	9. Chapter Nine: En Fidelio Eternam

* * *

**Chapter 9: En Fidelio Eternam**

No one ever said that love was easy. No one ever said Snape was either! Now, imagine trying to combine those two ingredients. It was now two days before our wedding. Hogwarts was full of students and teachers alike who were all more than wary of my decision to wed the dreaded snarky Potions Master. I had a few on my side though.

Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Lupin all understood the depth of our feelings for one another. They had watched us grow and fall in love, twice. As far as the students, only Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy seemed enthusiastic. Harry and Ron were considering flooing St. Mungo's about the situation and made no attempt to hide their less than happy feelings.

After my class with the aforementioned students, the Gryffindor threesome approached me at my desk.

"Ellie, please say that you really aren't going through with this," the redheaded boy pleaded.

"Why would you want to marry that greasy git?" asked Harry. "If he gave you a love potion, Hermione can brew the antidote."

A very desperate Hermione voiced, "I'm sorry, Ellie, they won't listen to me!"

There was a ridiculous grin on my face. I had expected this. After all, I had heard it all before for many years. "I assure you, there was no potion, boys. Look, I love that jerk and he loves me in return. I know you may find it hard to believe, but your dad would have been glad about this, Harry."

"I doubt that!" Harry stated loudly. "My dad hated Snape!"

"Sort of, but not as much as you might think. I think you dislike Draco more than your dad disliked Snape," I replied.

"That doesn't say much," muttered Ron.

I giggled, "You're right, my mistake."

"I just don't get it," protested Harry.

"You will when you're older…maybe." _Maybe not._

"But..." Ron tried to say.

"Ah! No more of this. I need to get to the library," I interrupted. "I will see you all at dinner."

I dismissed the three and had a good chuckle at Snape's expense, before setting off to find the dark man himself. I had lied about the library, but I had to get out of there somehow. I had only made it halfway down the dungeon steps before I heard the telltale sound of Snape.

The charming sound of his baritone voice cursing out, "Fucking-dunderheaded-inept-useless-brats," was followed by the shrill sound of shattering glass.

_Hum...I wonder what in the hell..._

"Hello down there!" I called out.

Warm as ever, he replied, "What do _you_ want?"

Severus Snape, Potions Master extraordinaire, was standing in a pile of milk-white mess, holding the remains of what appeared to be a flask of some sort. The man looked positively murderous. Cautiously, I approached the fiancé.

"Professor, what in the blazes..." I started to ask.

"Sabotage!" he roared.

"Of what, exactly?"

He whirled around, the long billowing cloak following like a living shadow, to glare at me.

"Are you aware that I have been accused of poisoning you in order to win your affections?" he asked venomously. "And are you also aware that a certain Gryffindor has made it his mission in life to see that you are properly 'cured' of this ailment? Furthermore, are you aware that I have received howlers from about forty parents, threatening me that, if I do not cease and desist immediately in my attempts to control a certain _blonde_ professor, I will be turned over to the Aurors?"

Stifling a sudden urge to laugh, I replied honestly, "Yes."

"You find this amusing, do you?" he growled out loudly.

"Yes," I replied. "Severus, this is nothing new. Did you really think people would see this marriage as normal or even plausible? And since when do you care what others think, anyway?"

"Perhaps we should reconsider," he said icily.

"That is bullshit, Snape!" I yelled.

"Is it? This charade is turning out to be more trouble than it's worth."

"You ass! How dare you say that! I don't mind your acerbic wit, or your tantrums, or your insulting my friends every spare moment you have, but I draw the line here!" I raged. "If you are insinuating that I am not worthy your time, then bloody well bugger off!"

I ripped the ring from my finger and hurled it at him. "Fuck you, and the basilisk you slithered in on!"

I marched away from him and proceeded out of the dungeons. I was far too furious to be sad. I envisioned conjuring some swords and slicing off his more 'precious regions', but decided not to.

_I may not be a prize, but I'll be damned if I will let a man who claims to love me tell me I am not worthy of his time!_

Whether or not to go to dinner was a large mental debate. On one hand, I could show Snape that I was nonplussed by our recent parting of ways. On the other hand, I would have to pretend that I was nonplussed by our recent parting of ways.

_Sod it!_

I decided to go. At least Lupin would be there.

"Hello, Ellie," Lupin said sweetly. "You look,well, buggered."

"Does it show?" I asked.

"What did he do?"

"What makes you think it is about him?" I snapped.

"He is the only one, other than Sirius, who could ever make your face turn that very particular shade of magenta," he answered casually.

"I returned his ring," I explained, "The wedding is off."

"What did he do?"

"He was born!" I yelled. Then I started to cry. "Damn it!"

Lupin took me in his arms and soothed, "Come now, this will pass."

"When? I have loved that man since I was eleven!" I wiped my face and straightened up a bit. "Let's go in."

Lupin and I sat down and several minutes later, Severus joined us at the staff table.

I stood up and state loud enough for most people to hear, "I have suddenly lost my appetite." I then tore out of the room.

"Will you just wait a minute?" yelled Severus.

I did not acknowledge him and kept on walking. This only worked for a minute before I was struck with...

"_Immobulus_!"

Snape walked in front of me. "Kinsington, will you please listen to me?" he snapped. "_Finite Incantatem_."

"How dare you cast a spell on me!"

With an evil grin he remarked, "At least now the rumors will be based on fact."

I choked on a giggle. "Well? What do you want to say?"

He held up the ring that I had pelted him with earlier. "I believe you misplaced this."

"No, Snape. I believe I misplaced my heart by giving it to a boy who seems to enjoy stomping on it," I replied smoothly.

"Touché."

I rolled my eyes at the git and continued, "Now, if you excuse me, I have a book to read."

"The blasted book can wait!"

I spun around and faced him again. "If you have something to say, spit it out," I raged.

"You really are angry, aren't you?"

"Well no shit!"

"Kinsington, I will not accept this," he hissed.

"What?"

"I will not allow you to stop this wedding."

I laughed. "You have no choice!"

For a moment he looked truly worried. "This will pass. You will change your mind."

I shook my head. "Not this time," I whispered.

His black eyes turned darker as he began to feel the gravity of my words.

"Forgive me," he demanded.

"Severus, there are many things I can forgive. There are even things that I can overlook. I don't mind that you are unpleasant. I don't mind your insults, your biting tongue, or your less than kind treatment of everyone. But when you tell me that I am not worthy of your time and trouble, that is where I cease to forgive." I was being eerily calm. "I will never stop loving you, ever. But we are finished; this time forever."

"I see," he responded, "So, you won't reconsider?"

That is when I lost it. I fell to my knees and sobbed uncontrollably. "I-I...I can't."

"Ellie, I am truly sorry."

"I don't care." _That was a lie._

"You are a terrible liar, you know," he remarked, crouching down to look me in my tear filled eyes. "_You_ are the only thing worthy of my time, Kinsington. I, however, am not worthy of yours."

"Severus..."

He waved off my sentence with a flick of his hand. "I do not deserve your affections. Luckily for me, you always gave them to me freely. If you would reconsider…if you would marry me, I would never..."

"Just stop," I interrupted.

He became quiet. I took his face in my hands, watching his eyes close as I did so. "I am yours, Severus. I belong to you."

He pulled us to our feet and then into an embrace. "You are my life," he said, barely above a whisper.

"I know."

* * *

The day I had dreamed of all my life had finally arrived. Professor McGonagall assisted me with my wedding gown. I chose a very simple, white silk strapless dress, which had a moderate flowing train detailed with lace. Something was missing as I gazed at myself in the mirror. 

"Excuse me," interrupted Hermione, peeking in the door.

"Come in!" I sang out.

"Oh, Ellie, you look so amazing! Here, let me try something. Close yours eyes and bend down a little." My eyes were closed and I could feel her tossing my hair around and pinning a few pieces back. She then put something on my head. "Open them."

"Oh, my goodness!" My long, wavy hair spilled loosely down my back and there was a small crown on my head. I looked just like I did in the mirror all those years ago! "This is...Hermione, where did you get this idea?" I asked flabbergasted.

"I read about it, actually. It is an old tradition that Sorceresses wear crowns instead of veils on their wedding days," she proudly announced.

"This is perfect." I felt tears build in my eyes. "I wonder what Severus will think?"

Just then, Lupin entered my rooms. "You are a vision, Ellie! Snape is going to die when he sees you!" he exclaimed as he came to take my hands. "How are your nerves holding up?"

"I can hardly contain myself!"

"It's nearly time now," informed Hermione as she peered out the door.

"Take me to him!" I squealed.

After excited good byes, Lupin and I were alone. He and I made our way to the north tower and stopped just outside the doors to the rooftop. "Is it time to go in yet?" I asked.

"Ready when you are."

I took a deep breath and the doors opened to reveal the night sky, full of stars. Then, I saw his eyes. The love of my life was waiting for me to become his wife. Lupin and I began to walk down the isle on a black silk carpet. Red Lilies were everywhere. I smiled all the way to the front, keeping my eyes on Severus the entire way. He didn't look at all nervous and neither was I. We reached the front; Lupin gave me a kiss, put my hand in Snape's, and then went to stand next to Professor Flitwick. Severus's eyes were filled with love and joy; he grinned a little as well.

"On a day such as this, when love has brought us together, it is easy to forget the hate that divides us so easily," began Dumbledore. "The sacred union between man and woman, friend and lover, body and soul, is not to be entered into by the faint of heart. It is my honor and my duty to join Ellie and Severus in marriage this night. May we rejoice with you as you begin your journey down the endless path that is your marriage.

"Ellie, Severus, join hands." We did as instructed. "By the earth, which provides us shelter and beauty, by the waters, which quench our thirst and carve the land, by the wind, that cools our brow and fills our sails, and by the fire, that lights our darkness and warms our hearts, I bind you to one another.

"Severus, it is time to make Ellie your wife. Place the ring on her finger and proclaim to all the vows of the magic that binds," instructed Dumbledore.

"With this ring, I take you, Ellie Charlotte Kinsington, as my wife. Let all that I am, and all that I have, be as yours," he said as he slid the ring on my finger.

"Ellie, it is time to make Severus your husband. Place the ring on his finger and proclaim to all the vows of the magic that binds," said Dumbledore.

"With this ring, I take you, Severus Snape, as my husband. Let all that I am, and all that I have, be as yours," I said as I slid the ring on his finger.

"I call upon the magic of the ages, that lives in all, to join these two; binding them in love forevermore." Dumbledore touched our rings with his wand and charmed, "_En Fidelio Eternum_. It is now time to finish what has only just begun. Let a kiss seal this union and it will be done," Dumbledore proclaimed.

Severus pulled me in his arms and kissed me as if it was the very first time. As this happened, a great blue light began as warmth within us, and spread like an explosion of a star over the rooftop. We looked at each other in amazement.

"The magic of old has agreed with their union. I now present to you all, Mr. and Mrs. Severus and Ellie Snape!"

We turned, hand in hand, to face our audience and received a standing ovation. The show that was my life had now begun anew. There was to be a small reception in the Great Hall for a few invited guests, and apparently some uninvited ones as well. Before we entered my new husband pulled me aside.

"I cannot believe that you are all mine," he whispered lovingly.

"Oh gods! I'm Mrs. Snape!" I exclaimed.

"Good lord, you're right," he mumbled, just now realizing it as well. "This time next year there shall be two Professor Snapes," he mused. I laughed and kissed him again.

"Hem, hem…excuse me you two. I do hate to interrupt, but your guests are waiting," informed Lupin.

"Shall we?" asked Severus, taking my hand. "We could just make a run for it."

"I know, I know, but we have to," I complained.

I had invited Harry, Hermione, the Weasleys, and Tibbs to the reception. Out of duty, Severus invited Minister Fudge, a few of his council members, and, to my horror, the Malfoys. The feast was nice enough, but soon it was over and Malfoy cornered me on my way to the restroom.

"I am pleased that you and Severus finally got around to getting married, Ellie. I was certain that you would have done it after you graduated Hogwarts years ago," Lucius crooned slyly. "It was not to be, I suppose. There is nothing like a marriage of two purebloods to make me smile. When can we expect children?"

I thought the pureblood comment was vile, but when he mentioned children, I didn't know how to respond. "Thank you Lucius." I tried not to let him ruin this day for me. "Let's not rush the children though, we only just got married."

I wanted to slug him in his perfect inbred nose. I saw my husband and excused myself.

"Get me out of here now," I hissed, trying to play it cool, but I couldn't hide it from him.

"What did Malfoy say to you?" he growled.

"It was nothing. Can we please go? I really want to be alone with you," I pleaded.

"I will kill him for upsetting you!" he snapped angrily. He looked at me and calmed down. "I think we can make our escape politely now. We have been here for hours."

"Should we tell Dumbledore?" I asked.

"Hm, that would be the easiest way to go about it. He will aid us in our departure. Come."

Severus took my hand and we went to tell Dumbledore we wanted to go. Dumbledore agreed and escorted us outside to a carriage. Once we were outside and in the carriage, the guests came to wave us off. The Weasley twins set off mass amounts of fireworks and I blew them kisses as my thanks.

"Finally alone," I sighed and cuddled up next to my new husband. "Where are we going anyway?"

With a smirk and twisted grin he stated, "Czechoslovakia."

I laughed heartily. "That must be your favorite place or something. I hate to be the one to inform you, but there is no longer a Czechoslovakia."

"You are a wealth of geographical information," he replied sarcastically. "We are going to France, to a wizarding village near Beauxbatons. We will be there for two nights, as I have taken the liberty of canceling both our classes for Monday."

"The mighty Severus Snape cancels class! Maybe I should have Harry and Ron floo St. Mungo's after all!"

* * *


	10. Chapter Ten: Unofficial Marauder

* * *

**Chapter 10: Unofficial Marauder**

We were now on our way to France for the weekend. Snape shook his head; an uncharacteristic grin was playing on his lips.

"I guess this means I shall not be calling you 'Kinsington' any longer?"

"You can call me Mary Sue for all I care," I joked.

"Well, Mary Sue, are you going to tell me what Malfoy said to you?"

"I don't know. He is such a git, but he doesn't know any better. He asked me when everyone should expect...something that can't be," I offered sadly. He understood me perfectly.

"Malfoy truly has a way with words, doesn't he?" growled Snape. "I am very bad at giving out comfort, you know. All I can offer you, and it may not be much of a consolation, is myself," he whispered in my ear." You have me."

"I had better!" I snapped in mock annoyance. "You are all that I shall ever need, Severus."

He snorted and replied, "Lucky you."

The rings on our fingers were more than mere tokens of love. By blessing them with the ancient form of the Fidelius, Dumbledore had created a bond. It was a bond of trust, in its purest, most undiluted form. To understand the workings of such a spell, I feel it prudent to explain its origin.

Marriage, to both Muggles and Wizardkind alike, has long been considered sacred. Ages ago, no one knows exactly when, a secret and indissoluble ritual was added to the vows of Marriage. This was the Eternam Fidelium, or forever faithful, rite. Only two souls willingly united could share in this bond. With this bond, the partner can see directly into the mind of the other. Unlike Legilimency, however, the two can select which memories, or emotions, to pass on. These 'visions' resemble what one might find in another's Pensieve: complete thoughts, movie-like images, unfiltered emotions.

Like the Fidelius charm, no one can retrieve this information without the secret keeper's consent. Unlike the Fidelius charm, the Eternam Fidelium rite allows two secret keepers: man and wife.

Severus asked for this ceremony for a very specific reason: my love, my husband was a spy. Together, for the rest of our existence, he and I would walk a path of unfathomable danger. If Voldemort ever found out that Severus and I were passing information to Dumbledore, we would die, and we would not be blessed with a swift 'Avada Kedavra'. We would suffer through unimaginable torment.

Severus would not bear his burden alone any longer. He could pass information to me, under the guise of a conjugal interlude, and in turn, I could inform Dumbledore. Risky? Yes. Deadly? Yes. Necessary? Yes.

So, it was on our last night in France that I came to understand all this...

"There is something important we must do before we return to Hogwarts," Snape began.

"What?"

He looked at the ring on his finger. "These rings...they are more than just ordinary." He took my left hand and touched his ring to mine. I felt an odd sensation. "Have you ever used a Pensieve?"

I arched my eyebrow and replied, "A few times."

"The vows we took after Dumbledore enchanted these rings set it in stone. We can pass information to each other without speaking," he informed, looking a bit nervous. "There are things that I must show you because I cannot bear to tell you. Some are very disturbing, Ellie."

"I understand," I comforted.

"Unfortunately, you cannot understand. Do you know that I was a Dea..."

I put my finger to his lips to stop him. "Shh. Yes, I do. I may be very daft at times for such a clever girl," I intoned in my best Snape imitation, "but when I see a person naked, I see everything." I nodded to his arm where the dark mark contaminated his flesh.

"When did you notice?" he asked evenly.

"Uhm, well...I heard rumors. Americans are not nearly as uninformed as some would have you believe." I covered the mark with my hand. "I actually saw it during our lessons one night. After you, well I, spilled that acid on your robes. I was a little shocked, but I hid it well."

"That you did," he mumbled.

"I think you should just show me, Severus. We can talk later."

"All right, but why did you...I mean...how did you ever trust me after seeing this?"

"Because, I know you," I insisted gently. "I know you had your reasons."

Snape nodded at me. "I think we should sit. These rings, when placed on our temples like so..." he placed his left hand on my temple, "...allow us to, for lack of a better word, connect. We will see and feel memories from each other's point of view. It will no doubt be extremely intense. I hate to do this now, but we need to be alone without distractions the first time because it will take a long while."

"All right," I whispered.

"Do as I have done," He instructed. I put my left hand to his temple. "I will tell you everything, but I must warn you: everything you have told me will also be passed to me. From the very beginning. Do you understand?"

"I do."

"Know that I love you, no matter what you see," he pleaded. "When I say the words, it will begin. Don't pull away. _Fidelio_," he said and then...

_I saw him as a very young boy...his father was screaming at his mother...I was in the basement and The Guardians were screaming at me...his father was killing his dog in a field while he watched...The Guardians were throwing me down the stairs...his mother was being beaten as his father laughed...I was screaming in pain as Sir snapped my arm nearly in two...he was watching his father talk to men in black robes and masks...I was playing the piano... _

...he was alone in his dark room...his mother was screaming from below...Sir was coming into my basement, the smell of whiskey filled the room...he was washing the blood from his mothers face...I was looking in the mirror as blood oozed from my nose...he was packing his trunk while his mother cried...Sir was beating me as Madam watched...

...he was being sorted by the hat as it called out 'Slytherin'...I was sobbing in the dark basement as Sir was dragging me across the floor...he was talking with Lucius in Transfiguration...I was in the hospital staring blankly ahead...he was on the Hogwarts Express...I was being yelled at by Madam...

...I received my acceptance letter from Hogwarts...his father kicked him in his side...I was packing my trunk while Sir and Madam told me I was a witch...he was watching me get sorted into Gryffindor...I saw him across the Great Hall...he saw me across the Great Hall...I was writing the answers on my parchment in Charms class...he was watching me write ...

...Malfoy was yelling at me as I ran to my dorm...he was thinking about me while he studied in the library...I was talking to James as we walked into the Great Hall...he was looking at me from across the room...I was thinking about him as I went to sleep...he and Lucius were fighting with Sirius and James...we were staring at each other from across the room...I was being beaten by Sir till I went unconscious...I was in Hagrid's arms...he was watching me being carried into the castle in Hagrid's arms...I was alone in the hospital room...he was watching me through an invisibility cloak...on and on it went.

He saw everything from my eyes, every beating, every thought, and I saw everything through his eyes. We could feel the pain, see as the other saw, and feel the love growing between us...

...I was reading the letter and running into the woods...he was searching frantically for me all day...he found me face down in the gardens...I told him the lies and he watched me run away...I could feel his heart breaking...I saw him graduate...he saw the rape and the murder...I saw him with Lucius, taking the dark mark from Voldemort...he saw the doctors telling me I could never have children...

...I saw him torturing Muggles...he saw my brother tell me everything as I watched him die...I saw him begging Dumbledore for mercy...he saw me in college...I watched him tell Dumbledore what the Death Eaters were planning...he saw me running around the world searching...he watched me enter the hall as I retuned to Hogwarts... we saw everything, from the beginning to the end.

It stopped. Severus and I were drained and shaking. Imagine what it is like to see and feel someone else's life. Imagine what it is to feel everything, raw and unstoppable. We held each other closer than ever. It was as if we had become one in a way that was impossible. I hurt for him and he mourned for me.

"I did not wish to tell you," he whispered.

"I understand now why we had to do the ceremony. You can't let Voldemort know that you are a spy."

"I joined the group that helped... kill," he whispered deep with regret.

"I know, Severus, I know." I kissed him gently. "We will not let him take one more thing from us. We will see his end together. Harry will defeat him and we will see to it, no matter the cost."

"There is a large possibility that we could both die."

"Then we will die, but not as traitors. We will stand together with Dumbledore and fight to the death," I pronounced. "After everything, Voldemort will not break us. If you have to choose between my life and a chance to destroy him..._you must not choose me_."

"You must do the same," he replied.

We were not afraid or angry or sad; we were resolved. There was nothing between us now and no one would ever break the bond we had forged. We slept as one, knowing we would never be alone again.

We awakened at the same time, looking onto each other's eyes. "I love you," I crooned happily. "Are you ready to take your wife home with you?"

He replied, "Hm, I love the sound of your voice when you say 'wife,'" kissing me as he spoke. "I think I should make love to my wife right now."

"You had better!"

* * *

In the afternoon, we got into the carriage and began our journey home. "Oh... I nearly forgot. Here..." he uttered, handing me a large bar of Honeydukes Best Chocolate. "Now you have everything that you requested." 

"You had better pull yourself together, man, or the students will think you've gone soft!" I teased.

"I see that you still find yourself very amusing," he grumbled.

"You are such a git. You know very well that I am." I pretended to be offended.

He nibbled my neck. "Remember what happened when we kissed at our wedding?"

"Yeah, what was that exactly?" I asked.

"I haven't a clue. I had hoped that you would inform me. Perhaps the Headmaster will know. He seems to know everything before we do." He narrowed his eyes and looked at me nastily. "I am sure our return will be dramatic," he hissed.

"I have no doubts." After a pregnant pause, I decided to share something with my new husband. "I have a feeling that Black is coming," I said seriously. "There is something missing, Severus. I just can't put my finger on it, but I think he is innocent."

"Is that what Lupin has been telling you?" he spat. "Is he hiding Black?"

"Lupin doesn't know what to believe. He is very worried about Harry, and if he was hiding Black I would know, and after last night you would too," I replied calmly. "It will happen soon. I can feel it."

"I learned long ago that you are always right about these feelings. Be careful, Ellie, your friend may betray you."

"Maybe," I agreed, "but there is something else and soon it will come to pass."

"You always were a little spooky. You could give Sybil Trelawney a lesson or two," he snapped.

"Don't you start with me! I don't need a wand to jinx you into oblivion, you conniving, hateful, loathsome Slytherin fool!"

"I love it when you talk dirty to me." He grinned maniacally.

When we returned to Hogwarts, our arrival at dinner was ridiculous! We were beginning to get used to thunderous applause everywhere we went. Severus just curled his lip in disgust, which was his usual behavior. After dinner we were bombarded by nearly all the students, who wanted to know where we'd been and how we were doing. We finally had to barricade ourselves in his office.

"If this continues, we shall have to hire bloody body guards!" he spat.

"Well, I have some experience with that, you know. I could get my résumé together and use Malfoy as a reference." He flashed me a look of contempt as he magically sealed the doors.

"I had the house elves move the rest of your belongings to my rooms," he thought a moment, "Well, I guess I should say 'our rooms.'"

"I hope you don't mind, I have a lot of stuff. I think we might be a bit crowded," I said.

"Let's go and have a look, shall we?" He opened the doors to his former bedroom. "Merlin's beard!" he exclaimed, awestruck. The room was jam-packed with my things.

I couldn't help but laugh as I looked at his face. "This is...this is..." I couldn't finish my sentence I was laughing so hard.

"We shall need more room. This is going to be a very long night."

"Severus, you go on and start on your lessons and I will tackle this..." I started laughing again.

"I need a drink!" he exclaimed. "Seriously, Ellie, let's have some wine."

"Excellent idea, Professor." He opened a bottle of red wine, poured us two rather large glasses, and came to meet me by the fire.

He sat in his usual chair and as I began to sit in mine he demanded, "No, sit here with me." I gave him a sexy look then sat half on the chair and half on his lap. "To my beautiful wife, Mrs. Snape," he pronounced, holding his glass to toast mine. We clicked glasses and sipped our wine.

"I can't get used to that. I wonder what my students will call me?" I wondered how long it would be before people stopped calling me 'Miss Kinsington'.

"They will address you as 'Mrs. Snape' or they shall answer to me!" He looked a bit shocked that I would assume otherwise.

"Of, course they will, I wouldn't have it any other way. Do you know how long it took to finally get that last name?" I assured him as he eyed me suspiciously. "Ellie Snape...Mrs. Ellie Snape...it is about damn time!"

He looked at me lovingly and pecked my lips. "Lupin had better keep his claws off you, and then there's that scoundrel Black!" He choked out 'Black' so nastily that I thought he might actually spit.

"Lupin wouldn't dare, and if he did I would slap him silly! As for the missing and always theatrical Sirius Black, well really, Severus, his ridiculous flirtations never interested me then, so what would make you think they would now!"

"He always desired you! How could he not? However, I know how you really feel and I will try to control my jealous tendencies," he hissed.

"Yes, you do that." I said it as if I didn't believe him. "You know you are the only scoundrel for me," I teased while I kissed his neck. "I'm a little tipsy. Can I have more?"

"I think we should finish the bottle, make love, and then get to work, unless you have any objections."

"Here, here!" I toasted.

When we had completed the first two steps of our plan, he started on his lessons for tomorrow and I went to make our bedroom look like a bedroom again. Very late, we went to bed and nearly passed out.

"Thank the gods, we are finally going to sleep," he said as I curled myself around him. "You are mine, Mrs. Snape."

* * *

Things settled down around the castle and all went back to normal, mostly. To the casual observer, or anyone else for that matter, Snape and I appeared to be the most unhappy couple ever. We were always arguing and shooting angry looks at one another, but that was our way. We were actually ridiculously blissful. I was his intellectual equal in every way and our tempers, though managed differently, were also one in the same. 

I could easily ignore his scathing looks and biting remarks; in fact, I loved them. They were as much a part of Severus Snape as that deliciously enormous cock of his. Most women would scamper away with their metaphorical tails tucked between their legs at some of his terms of endearment. I, however, am not most women. We loved bating each other as much as we loved shagging the senses out of each other. Our marriage was our own private heaven and hell, each ingredient important as the other.

Time does tend to progress and so does the school year.

Late one afternoon I was walking back from Hogsmeade, enjoying the gently falling snow in the woods. I began to feel a darkness like I hadn't since I was young. There was something going on just up ahead. I saw several Dementors circling as if they were attacking something on the ground.

_Sirius!_

I held out my arms and yelled, "_EXPECTO PATRONUM_!" as an enormous silver dragon eagle appeared and flew to the Dementors, chasing them away. I thanked Pelly, my Patronus, as he flew back to me and disappeared.

_There was no one there! What were the Dementors after?_

I saw a hairy black tail disappear into the woods.

_What on earth is a dog doing out here?_

I walked a little faster back home.

The very next day, Gryffindor played Slytherin in a Quidditch match. As Severus and I walked to the stadium I told him flat out, "I love you, Severus, but there is no way I am routing for your house. I am going to sit with Hagrid and support my team."

"Might I remind you that marrying me made you the co-head of Slytherin house," he stated proudly. "You really aren't going to sit with me?"

"No way! I am a loyal fan! When we smear the pitch with Slytherin I don't want to be anywhere near you!" I huffed. "Now, go and join your friends and I am going to mine."

"I will make you eat those words when we have the Quidditch Cup! McGonagall shall not have it this year. It will be in my office!"

"I shall see you after the match," I said nastily and began to walk to meet Hagrid.

"Stubborn woman!" He walked to me, kissed me quickly, and then went to his side.

It was an exciting match. We were all on the edges of our seats and we were winning. I jeered at Severus, who gave me the look of death. Harry was doing so well! I thought I heard a sound from behind the stands. I turned to look and at first I saw nothing unusual, but then I saw a large black dog watching the Quidditch match! I stared at him for a while and then the dog turned and ran into the forest. I heard yelling and screaming so I turned my attention to the match. Harry was falling! Dementors were circling in the air above the pitch and Dumbledore was running out to magically break Harry's fall.

"Dementors attacked 'arry when he was up chasing the snitch!" Hagrid informed on his way out of the stands. I joined him and ran to Harry. He was unconscious but okay.

Severus came to me with a look of concern. I grabbed his arm. "What are Dementors doing at a Quidditch match? This is outrageous!" I yelled furiously.

"It must be the excitement of all these emotions. Dumbledore is outraged and is going to speak with them now," he answered. "What? There is something troubling you."

"It's Harry! Why don't they leave him be! He needs to figure out his Patronus straight away," I grumbled.

"Lupin is working on it. I have to go see Dumbledore. I want you inside immediately," he demanded.

The week before Christmas Holiday I was in Hogsmeade with the students. Dementors were posted everywhere throughout the town. I was patrolling the streets to make certain they didn't get out of line. Severus was back at the castle working on something for Dumbledore. I began to think about that dog. "Padfoot?" I thought out loud. I remembered that Sirius was an Animagus and that he could transform into a dog.

_Could that dog be my old friend? I had never seen any of them in their animal forms, but maybe that was how he escaped. One day soon I will find out. For now I will keep this secret. Only, I can't keep secrets from Severus. If I made him promise not to tell he wouldn't be able to, I hope._

Everything went fine with the trip and no one was attacked. I went to find my husband in his office because I refused to keep this from him.

"I really need to talk to you," I stated as I entered.

He eyed me suspiciously. "What is it?"

I magically sealed the office and approached him at his desk. "Do you trust me?"

"You know that I do," he replied, looking a little more suspiciously at me.

"Then you must not say anything, even to Dumbledore. I can't keep this from you but I need to know that you trust me, Severus. I mean it, not a word just yet," I spoke very deliberately.

"All right, tell me. I trust you know what you're doing," he warned.

I placed my ring at his temple, looking him squarely in the eye and began, "_Fidelio_." I showed him what I had been told years ago and what my suspicions were.

"We should tell Dumbledore!"

"If it comes to that we will. No one knows this but us, not even Lupin. It is just a suspicion right now, Severus. Please wait for a while. I have a very strong feeling about this!" I begged.

"I am pleased that you are not hiding things from me. I will honor my promise to you, until you say otherwise," he assured.

"I never want to keep anything from you, not ever. We are in this together always," I insisted.

Christmas had arrived at last. We spent most of the day in bed together.

"Do you want your presents now?" I asked eagerly.

"You got me presents?" he pretended to be shocked. "It is a shame that I did not get you any."

"Oh, please, you can't pull that off with me! Here, you open one first!" I squealed and then said, "_Accio present one_." I clapped my hands and Severus rolled his eyes.

"For someone who hasn't any presents, you sure are excited," he tried to play.

"Open it, you ass, or I'll do it for you!" I demanded. He smirked and began to tear the paper.

He looked truly shocked. "Good lord... what did you do?"

I had given him a pocket watch. I knew he always wanted that did not come from a member of his family. It was a magical medal called Black Platinum. The front was engraved with the Slytherin house crest and had been enchanted to actually slither and hiss. On the inside, I had combined both our house symbols into one. The lion and snake were roaring and hissing at one another. The face of the watch was bejeweled with emeralds to mark every quarter hour. The back was engraved... 'To my love, my all, my husband.'

"Ellie...this is remarkable!"

"I had hoped you would like it. I worked very hard on it," I replied.

"It shows." He ran his hand across my face and crushed his lips to mine. He called for his first present to me. "Here you are. Open it," he whispered.

"It can't be! Severus..." It was my old journal that he had made for me when we were kids.

"You left it on the table in quite a hurry. I have had it all these years. Open it up." He had written "say 'Revealo'".

"_Revealo_," I whispered. "Huh!" Every word we had ever written to one another appeared, page by page. "How did you do that?" I asked amazed.

"Look at the last page," he instructed. It was a photograph of us as children. The images slowly aged and finally it was us on our wedding day.

"This is beyond words. I am...speechless."

"That is truly a first," he muttered. "I think you should open another." He called my next present and handed it to me.

It was a huge box of chocolates from around the world. In its center was a small, red leather box. It contained a stunning platinum and sapphire bracelet.

"It's gorgeous!"

He kissed my hand and then put it on for me, slipping one of the chocolates in my mouth after words.

I called for his next present. "Your turn." It was a heavy package. He opened it to reveal a large, black dragon hide book with the words, 'Potions of the Master Severus Snape', in green leather. He opened it and saw his own potions inside, complete with enchanted photos and illustrations.

"I put in a few that I knew how to make. You can make corrections, of course, by using this quill. There are hundreds of pages for you to add your latest masterpieces and the book will automatically expand, until you want to start a new volume. To do that all you have to do is say 'Multiplico' and touch your wand to the spine. Then a book identical to this will be created; only it will say volume two or twenty or whatever. I know you have been dying to have your own potions book, and now you have," I explained.

"How did you know that? I am stunned. This will be most excellent!" I had floored him.

"I know what my husband desires," I boasted flirtatiously.

"Hm, really? Then tell me, what is it that I desire right now?" he challenged.

"Lie down and I will show you, Professor," I hummed as I slinked on top of him and showed him exactly what he wanted. We opened the rest of our presents later on that night. It was the best Christmas in both our lives.

Students arrived on schedule after the holiday. Days went normally, except all the staff was a bit on edge about Black. Severus had kept his promise to me not to tell and I loved him for it. He really trusted me and I mentioned my suspicions to no one, not even Lupin. My classes were eager as always to learn what I had to say and finally they all got accustomed to calling me Mrs. Snape. Remus and I were spending a lot of time together as usual. Severus was taking it rather well, although I knew he was a bit jealous.

"So, Remus, how is Harry's Patronus coming along?" I asked one day, while we were working on our lessons together.

"Not bad. It still isn't corporeal but it is a bit stronger. You never told me what form your Patronus takes, Ellie. Let me guess, a unicorn?" he asked.

"Wrong as usual. Pelly is a dragon eagle," I proclaimed proudly.

"Pelly? How did you come up with that name?" he laughed.

"Oh, I don't know. He just looked like a Pelly to me, I guess. Hey, Remus, you look like crap. Have you been taking your potion? Severus is forever complaining about brewing it. I think he's going to teach me how to do it."

"Yes, I have. You should teach me how to do it when you learn. I would rather not be alone with your dear husband in his dungeons."

"I can't blame you there. He is foul to everyone as usual, except for me of course. I have a good laugh every time I think about Neville's boggart. I only wish I could have seen it," I chuckled.

"It was priceless, really," Lupin recalled. "Oh, the next time you play the piano for your class, let me know, will you? I have a fondness for Mozart and I assume you will eventually do some of his music."

"How could I not? I will inform you when I get around to it. Even Draco Malfoy behaves himself in my class, if you can believe that."

"If Draco had any clue about the things you did to and for his father, you could have him washing your laundry," he joked. "He's a nasty little git, isn't he?"

"I think he's worse than Lucius! Although, dear old dad did plant that diary in Ginny's cauldron last year. I get a sick feeling in my stomach whenever I see Lucius these days. He really went off the deep end when he graduated. I never thought he would go that far."

"I can't believe you let Severus invite him to your wedding reception."

"We have our reasons." I made him understand that this topic was forbidden. "Well, I need to go to bed and make sure Dr. Jekyll hasn't turned into Mr. Hyde while I've been out. Love you, Mooney," I said with a peck to his cheek.

"Don't forget about Mozart!" he added as I left.

"Can you believe this year is almost finished and Longbottom still cannot make a potion without endangering himself and the other students!" Severus spat as I entered his office. "Today, he managed to turn himself and six other students chicken-yellow, when his cauldron erupted after he turned a reviving serum into bile!"

"Did they get turned back?" I asked. He sneered.

"Madam Pomfrey is considering hiring an assistant. Neville and his escapades leave her little time to deal with the rest of the student population." He didn't answer my question. "Of course we turned him back! But I believe Creevy snapped his photo first." He seemed pleased with the idea.

"I see you've made some progress on your book," I noted, while seeing that the book I had made for him was open to page one hundred. "I think I am going to bed. I have a terrible headache and I am unusually tired."

"I wish I could join you but I have too much work. Do you want me to bring you something for that headache? This is a first, you going to bed at eight."

"I know. I am going to take a quick bath and then yes, anything you have to get rid of this pounding would be greatly appreciated," I said as I kissed him and went to the bathroom.

I had just sat down in the bath when he opened the door. "Hm," he hummed as he looked me up and down. "Here, drink this." He handed me a flask of potion and then poured something in the bath. "It should help you to relax and ease some tension. I came up with it myself," he stated proudly.

It smelled very nice and tingled a little. "What would I do without you? Thanks, Severus, I feel better already." I closed my eyes and soaked.

He bent down to kiss my head. "Don't twist up in the blankets when you get in bed. I can't sleep if I can't touch you."

My Potions master never failed me. I fell asleep with ease that night, which wasn't a thing to be taken lightly. Earlier that day, Buckbeak the hippogriff had been executed and everyone had been very upset. I had hidden myself in the castle all day to avoid this monstrous act.

_That poor innocent animal. I could strangle Draco for his lies!_

I was having a very unusual and vivid dream and felt out of place as if I had done this before. "The timeline!" I said as I shot up wide awake. Severus wasn't there. "Harry," I whispered terrified, then jumped out of bed and scrambled to dress.

As a Sorceress I was aware when timelines were going askew. It was part of my connection to the natural way of things. It was as if the elements were calling me, nearly whispering. I ran out into the office. Severus wasn't there either.

I had a feeling I knew where things were changing. I ran outside to the tree. The Whomping Willow was still! I ran into the tunnel and made my way to the Shrieking Shack.

_I am not supposed to be here._

I had to go anyway. I was compelled by some unseen force to do it. I heard the voices from inside the room, yelling and arguing. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were in there. Lupin was talking loudly and then... "Sirius!" I gasped.

I flung open the door and saw Severus unconscious against the wall. "Keep talking, I want to hear this for myself!" I commanded as all eyes and wands pointed to me.

"What the fuck! Kinsington? My lord!" shouted Black.

"I SAID KEEP TALKING!" I shouted, raising my hand and pointing it at Sirius.

"Ellie, it's not what you think!" yelled Harry. "They were just telling us..."

"Then let them finish," I said harshly. "Lupin, Black, tell us now!" They explained it all and I had no doubts. "I knew it was Peter, I just knew it! Make him show himself! Then Kill him!"

"Harry doesn't want us to kill him," said Sirius. "He has that right."

I looked at Harry and understood. He was so much like James.

"Kinsington..." began Sirius.

"Uh...excuse me...Mr. Black," stammered Hermione. Sirius looked bewildered. "It's actually Mrs. Snape now...just thought I should point that out," she finished timidly.

He looked at Severus and than at me. "We didn't hurt him badly." Then, with a mixture of horror and disbelief he asked, "Ellie...you married Snape?"

"Not now Sirius! Just do it! Both of you, now!" I commanded, lowering my hand.

I saw Ron's rat transform into Peter before my eyes. "I'm not supposed to be here. I have to go," I said. Then Lupin, Sirius, and I embraced like the long lost friends we were. "I'll see you all later. Sirius, I knew all along," I said as I rushed to leave.

"What about Snape?" asked Hermione.

"I shouldn't interfere with this. I have to go," I said and left. I was terrified, but finally all the pieces fit.

_I have to get back to bed before anything else gets interrupted._

No one saw me as I made it back to my room. I forced myself to lie down, knowing full well that I couldn't sleep. I cried for my old friend who had been imprisoned for the murder of his best friend. Sirius had looked like a ghost of himself: skinny and sallow, with dark shadows for eyes. I prayed he would be exonerated and he could get to know his godson of whom he had been robbed. Just before sunup, I fell asleep.

"Wake up!" roared Severus as he burst into the room. "Sirius Black has escaped from the north tower! He and Lupin were in their old hideout! He escaped the Dementors!" He was out of his mind with rage.

"What?" I yelled in surprise.

_He escaped? Why would he need to escape? Why hadn't he been cleared? It was Peter, not him!_

"Do you know how he escaped?" he accused with his eyes boring into mine. "Did you assist Potter in freeing him?" he wildly accused.

"No! I have no idea how he did it!" I wasn't lying. I had no idea what had happened after I left the shack. "Where is Dumbledore, Severus? Where is Harry?" I asked, panic stricken.

"They are with the Minister of Magic explaining what went on! Where you here the entire night?" he demanded.

I would never lie to my husband. "No, Severus, I wasn't," I replied honestly.

"You helped Black escape! How could you do this?" he yelled.

"No, I did not! I did see them all last night. I went to the shack, Severus, and you were unconscious! I saw everything! I know the truth!" I was trying to be calm.

"The truth?" he fired angrily.

"All of it. Do you want me to tell you or show you? You have to know what really happened," I pleaded. "You have it all wrong!"

"Do I?" he spat. "I was there! They jinxed me!"

"That is why you need me to show you what happened afterwards, Severus! They know you hate them and you wouldn't let them finish!" I yelled.

"LIES!" he roared. "YOU ARE MY WIFE! HOW CAN YOU LIE TO ME?"

"You know I would never lie to you!" He looked at me full of anger but knew I was right. "Come here," I said and took my hand placing it on his temple. "See what I see..._Fidelio_!" He saw everything as I had seen it. He saw the truth.

When it was over Snape was astounded. "Time had been altered...you knew it..." He looked at me with wonderment. "I could feel it...he's innocent!" he pronounced.

"Why wasn't he cleared?" I was very concerned. He told me everything that had happened since I returned to bed. "This isn't right, Severus. We can't do anything to change it," I sobbed.

He took me in his arms. "I am sorry that I accused you of conspiring against me," he comforted.

"I love you too, Severus. I know it was all very confusing and suspicious. I'm not at all mad at you. Please know that I would never betray you," I sobbed in his arms.

"Shh, I know. It just did not look very good. Black will be cleared in time, but we mustn't tell anyone what you just shared with me. Things are starting to turn for the worst," he said gravely. "You know what we shall have to do."

I understood that we would be spying on Voldemort's Death Eaters from now on. Danger was rearing its ugly head so I held close to my partner, knowing he and I were the only ones who would ever know what we had to face.

"I am ready," I whispered, growing strong in my convictions. We went to breakfast hand in hand. The door had been opened and evil was circling, waiting. We would not fail; we couldn't afford to.

TO BE CONTINUED...

* * *


	11. Chapter Eleven: Wizards' Flu

* * *

**Chapter 11: Wizards' Flu**

_oooooo _Past _oooooo_

It was New Year's Eve of my sixth year at Hogwarts. Snape and I had only a few days left before the return of the other students. It had been a wonderful holiday for both of us so neither one of us really wanted the new term to commence. I had truly not been expecting him to profess his love for me on Christmas Eve, and there was also little doubt that he had shocked himself as well. I could tell that he trusted me but he was very guarded, as if he was expecting me to proclaim that it had all been some sort of colossal joke planned out by Potter and Black.

If only I could tell him that this was anything but a joke to me; that he was the first person I had ever loved and the only one _I_ truly trusted. You see, Severus Snape wasn't the only one afraid of love. I was utterly terrified. Never before had I dared to feel a connection to another living being. It was just too risky. The Guardians had never shown me what love was or how to express it or even how to recognize it. There was no denying it. I was in love with Severus Snape. No instructions necessary.

What if he stops loving me? Do things like that happen? How do I know he really loves me? Three questions simple enough at first glance, but upon further inspection these questions can drive one to madness. If I had had a real mother to ask she probably would have told me to have some faith, that these questions are not easily understood or answered, that some things in life do not have a simple yes or no or even a maybe for an answer. She may have even said that any boy who couldn't see how wonderful I was, or any boy that didn't love me would have to be mad. But I had no _real_ mother. I had Madam.

Madam.

She was an unusually tall woman. I looked nothing like her, except maybe the shape of her eyes. Unlike my eyes of cerulean blue, her eyes were cold, gray steel, rimmed in a darker shade of lifeless platinum. Madam was older than most mothers of children my age by a decade at least, in my estimations. She had probably been a very attractive, no, handsome woman in her younger years, before I came into the world. I wouldn't call her hair black, it was more a very, very deep shade of brown, but I always thought it black. Black seemed to suit her. I remember searching her face, looking for traces of myself but was always disappointed, for I never really found any. No, I looked nothing like her.

If I had had a real father he would have told me that I was his princess. He would have said that there was no boy of this earth worthy enough of his daughter, that I was too special for anyone less than a prince, that I was the finest daughter that ever lived. But I had no father. I had Sir.

Sir.

He was as tall as Madam. He always seemed much taller than her, though now that I recall, they were exactly the same height. Perhaps it was the way he loomed over me in the darkness of night, with his shadow encompassing all the light in the room. There was always an other-worldly glow from the kitchen at the top of the stairs when he came to me. That light outlined his tall, ominous frame making him all that much more intimidating. When properly illuminated, Sir appeared to be just an ordinary man. He was just a man with the same grey eyes and black, brown hair as Madam. I looked nothing like him.

I don't know why my thoughts turned to The Guardians on that particular night of all nights. Call it sentimental or call it pathetic but I always wanted them to love me. I wanted to be there with them when the new year was born. I wanted them to tell me they loved me, that I was the daughter they had always dreamed of having. I wanted Sir to stop coming to me in the dead of night trying to make me do what no father should ever do. If my own parents couldn't love me, how could anyone?

The Astronomy Tower was vacant that evening. Stars by the millions were just emerging from under the haze of twilight and the air was crisp and smelled of snow. I had been up there for well over three hours just thinking and praying that this year would be better than all those previous. I had the love of the boy with dark, ebony eyes. That would make all the difference; I was certain of it.

"You will catch your death of a cold out here, you know."

"Severus."

He shook his head and walked toward me with a look of disdain on his face. "Kinsington, didn't anyone ever teach you to wear the proper attire when venturing into the winter air?"

"No," I replied while cracking a grin. "Did anyone ever teach you that it isn't polite to sneak up on people?"

"Perhaps you should be more aware of your surroundings. Then it would prove more difficult to 'sneak up on you'," he snapped.

He was so close to me. I smell the faint and tantalizing aroma of sandalwood and spice wafting from his dark form. I turned away from him to gaze once again at the emerging night sky.

"What were you doing up here?" he whispered, coming up behind me and grazing my arm with the back of his hand.

"Oh, I was just thinking."

I placed my hand on his and curled my fingers around his long, graceful hands. Severus responded by drawing closer to me and wrapping his arm around my waist, pulling my form against his chest.

"You were supposed to meet me in the library over an hour ago. I was beginning to think I had been stood up."

"I lost track of the time," I replied.

"That is blatantly obvious. What were you thinking about?"

"Things."

"What sort of _things_?

"Life."

"As enchanting as your monosyllabic blurbs are, Kinsington, I am certain you know how to form a proper sentence."

I leaned my head back on his shoulder and giggled. "I'm sorry, Severus. I was just wondering what The Guardians were doing right now.

"Hm?"

"I wonder what they do when I'm not around."

"_That_ I do not know. I can tell you what I do when you are not around," he replied quietly, now nuzzling his cheek against the side of my head.

"I know what boys do when they are all alone," I giggled out.

"That is repulsive!" he snapped. "Wherever do you get these notions?"

"Sorry, I was only joking! So what do you really do when I'm not around?"

"I can assure you I do not…do what you were insinuating," he hissed. "I was going to say that I think about you."

"Really?" I replied in a flirtatious, girly voice.

"Yes, really."

"Well, to be perfectly honest, I was thinking about you also."

"Sure you were," he muttered.

"I am capable of thinking about more than one topic over the course of several hours, Severus. I'll have you know that most of my thoughts are about you."

"Turn around," he whispered.

When I faced him he was looking deeply into my eyes, suspiciously deep. I felt as though he was inside my head, searching for something. I don't know how, but he really was inside my head.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Legilimency," he replied. He broke our gaze and continued to explain, "The art of entering another's mind."

"Where did you learn that? I don't think that's right, Severus! What gives you the right to poke around in my mind?"

"I just wanted to see if I could do it!"

"Well don't do that again! At least not without asking me first! If you want to know something all you have to do is ask me. I will tell you anything you want to know," I huffed.

"I apologize," he said softly.

"All right. It is too hard to stay mad at you anyways."

"So tell me, Kinsington, do you love me?"

"Yes, Severus, I love you. Why didn't you just ask me to begin with?"

"I wanted to see…" he began.

"If I really meant it?" I finished. "Yes. I love you."

He lips captured mine. "I love you, Ellie. Feel free to search my mind if you want."

"That won't be necessary."

We never made it to the party that night. We watched the new year dawn from the top of the school. It was to be a very good year indeed…

* * *

_oooooo Present oooooo_

The rest of the school year passed quickly. Now that Remus was gone I found myself a little depressed. I was too busy to dwell on it though. During the summer Severus and I worked covertly, with Dumbledore the only one knowing anything. Severus was gone for weeks at a time. I would meet him places to pass the secrets between us. Since I was his wife, no one would suspect a thing. Even Lucius knew how in love we were and wouldn't have a clue that we were meeting to do anything other than spend time together. It was the perfect cover, flawless. The Death Eaters showed themselves at the Quidditch World Cup that summer. Severus and I feared that it was only the beginning.

A week into the school year, we had another enemy to face. Wizards' Flu was running rampant through Hogwarts. Severus and I were two of the only people who didn't seem to be affected. We worked overtime for weeks. He was assisting poor Dumbledore, who could hardly speak without vomiting, and I helped Madam Pomfrey go to all the dorms and tend to the students. There simply wasn't room in the hospital wing for anyone else. It was miserable. I had been exhausted for some time now and feared I too was catching the illness.

Finally, after a full five days of no new cases, I was still feeling ill. I was dizzy and nauseous many times throughout the day. Sometimes the very sight of food was enough to send me running to the bathroom and other times I ate like mad.

"Severus, will you pass me those sausages," I asked at breakfast one day.

"You hate sausages," he hissed.

"I know, but they look so tasty," I said as he handed them to me, looking at me as if I were crazy. I had detested sausages all my life. "Uhm, divine," I said as I ate five of them.

Minerva looked at me the same way Severus had. The just looked at each other as if to say, 'What in the blazes is she doing?'

"You know what I could really go for right now…" I said, grabbing some poached eggs, another food I hated. Stuffing them in my mouth I continued, "…some Chinese food... egg rolls, and fried rice, ooo and sweet and sour noodles."

"Are you feeling quite alright?" asked Severus looking at me suspiciously. "Ten minutes ago you had your head stuffed down the toilet in the girl's bathroom."

"I feel great!" I said with my mouth full. "Are you going to finish that?" I asked, pointing to his half eaten toast. He shook his head unable to form a verbal reply. I took it and stuffed it into my mouth.

Severus looked at me as if I were some sort of alien. "What are you doing?"

"Hum?" I asked.

"Nothing. Time for class." He pecked me on my cheek, raised his eyebrow at Minerva, and then went on to his first class of the day.

"Ellie, is there something you want to tell me?" asked Minerva.

"Oh, yeah, I nearly forgot. Thursday I'm doing Mozart in my afternoon class. I was hoping that Lupin might be allowed to visit. He really wanted to hear some Mozart," I said.

"Perhaps." She opened her mouth to say something, but apparently changed her mind.

The next day after lunch, which I hadn't eaten because I was ready to puke again, I stood up to leave. "Whoa, there, Ellie!" said Minerva as she caught me in her arms.

"What just happened?" I said.

She handed me over to Severus who looked very concerned. "You nearly passed out," he informed me. "Thank you, Professor McGonagall, for not allowing my wife to dive head first into the soup." Minerva nodded. "I think the Wizards' Flu has finally taken hold of you. I am taking you to Poppy immediately," he hissed.

"Good idea. It really hangs on, doesn't it?" I said weakly.

When we reached our destination Severus made me lie down on the bed. "You are pale and will remain still!" he ordered. Poppy came to inquire about our arrival. With an accusatory tone, Severus said, "Mrs. Snape has finally succumbed to the Wizards' Flu, Madam Pomfrey."

"Oh, poor thing." She looked at me with sympathy. "How long have you been feeling ill, Mrs. Snape?"

"On and off since the middle of the first week when I started helping you, Madam Pomfrey."

"That is unusual with Wizards' Flu, dear. Let me have a look at you."

For about thirty minutes she took my temperature, poked and prodded me, and examined my stomach with her wand. "Just a minute now, I have to let this sit." She went to the other side of the room.

"You are looking better. How are you, my love?" Severus asked sweetly.

"Fine. I wish she would hurry up so I could get out of here. Just give me the medicine and let me go home." He knew I hated hospitals.

"Ellie, just sit still!" Snapped Snape. "You should have come here weeks ago!"

Poppy swept breezily back through the curtains. "Well, Mrs. Snape, it's not Wizards Flu. You are in perfect health," she pronounced happily. Severus and I looked at each other and then at her. "It will pass, dear, I assure you. Professor Snape knows how to make the necessary potions."

"Potions for what?" asked Severus rudely.

"Oh, sorry, of course!" she began, "Mrs. Snape, dear, you are pregnant."

Severus and I looked at each other in disbelief as we knew this was impossible. "Madam Pomfrey, my wife can't have children, as you very well know!" he fired at her.

"Poppy, you examined me yourself and told me so," I began. "So, there is just a little misunderstanding," I said calmly.

"I am well aware of that, Ellie, but nevertheless, you are pregnant," she said. "Just under ten weeks now."

Severus and I looked at each other flabbergasted.

"TEN WEEKS!" I exclaimed, "But that's impossible!" I looked at Severus who couldn't speak. "What…how…but…no…is it…am I…" I stuttered out.

"Is Ellie okay…and the…the…baby…is it…okay?" Severus asked while looking at me, his eyes unnaturally wide.

"Oh yes! They are both perfectly healthy," she assured. "Listen…" She placed her wand to my belly and said, "_Sonorous_…do you hear it? That is the baby's heartbeat…not yours, dear."

We could both hear it rather clearly. "Oh my…no…Oh my!" I gasped, unable to believe my ears. I looked at my husband who was as astounded as I. I grabbed his hand.

She took her wand away and said, "Don't worry, everything is normal."

"How is this possible?" I asked.

"It is amazing what true love can heal. It is the most mysterious of all magic," she whispered.

I gazed into the horrorstricken eyes of my husband. "Severus…" I gasped.

"Now you don't have to worry about taking it too easy. Just go about as normal, after you rest a bit tonight of course. The only thing you can't do is Apparate. Professor Snape knows what supplements you need to take for the health of you and your baby. You can go home now and rest. Come back in a few weeks for a routine check up," she said. "Oh, and congratulations to both of you," she said gleefully as she left us.

We just stared at each other. We had no idea what had just happened. Still in shock, we walked home not saying a word. He helped me into bed and then sat beside me.

"Severus…did that just happen?" I asked, still unable to grasp the truth. "Am I pregnant?"

"Uh…yes, I think you are."

"Severus, we never talked about this because…well…it is impossible! We are having a baby." I was still stunned. "How do you feel about this?"

"Well, other than shocked beyond all reason….how do you think I feel? My beautiful wife, whom I am madly in love with, is…carrying my child," he said in amazement. I was crying now as we fell to the bed in each other's arms. "You are going to have my child, Ellie."

"This is too much. Oh, my gods…we are going to be parents," I sobbed. "I don't know what to do with a baby. I'm not sure I can do this."

"Yes you can. We will figure this out together," he assured me sweetly. He placed his hand on my belly and gently rubbed it. "Ten weeks….ten weeks ago we were…"

I laughed a little through my tears. "Shagging in the rose garden…remember, we almost got caught?"

"Oh yes…the rose garden," he mumbled. "We kept getting pricked by the thorns."

"I had to rub ointment all over your…" I laughed and he kissed me.

"Gods, I love you…both of you." He kissed me and then my tummy. "I wonder if it's a boy or a girl? I can make a potion to find out, you know."

"I don't need a potion to tell that. It is definitely a boy…and a Slytherin as well," I said with certainty. "Who else could sneak up on us like that and make me feel so ill?" I joked.

"So, we are having a son are we?" he said proudly as he kissed my neck. "Are you sure?"

"When I get a feeling like this you know I am never wrong." He nodded in agreement. "You, my dear husband, are no longer the last of the Snapes."

"I want to make love to you, Mrs. Snape" he said hungrily. "Fancy a shag?"

"You had damn well better believe it! But, maybe no gymnastics for a while." I grabbed him and wrapped my legs around him.

"Hm…not a problem," he whispered.

* * *

Things were getting hectic around the castle. The Triwizard Tournament was being held here at Hogwarts so we were all awaiting the arrival of students from two other wizarding schools, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang. Severus and I had had a few weeks to get accustomed to the fact that I was miraculously with child. We hadn't told anyone yet because we wanted our own time to celebrate and come to terms with it. He and I were very pleased about it. Luckily the nausea and headaches had subsided. 

We were waiting on the lawn for the arrivals.

"Ellie, we need to talk a moment. Excuse us, won't you?" Severus said to Flitwick. "Listen, the headmaster from Durmstrang, Karkarov, was a Death Eater," he began. "Play it cool and try not to spend too much time alone with him. We will have to use our rings nearly everyday now to keep our minds safe from intrusion."

"Right, I understand. Give me a kiss, you fiend." He softened a bit and tenderly kissed me. "Where in the blazes are they? It is getting late," I complained.

"Are you cold?" he asked gently.

"No, but I could do with a very large cheeseburger."

"For heaven's sake, woman, you had a sandwich and fruit an hour ago!"

I whispered, "It's not for me, it's our baby. He wants it." I had been ravenous lately and had some very uncharacteristic cravings.

"Oh please, you are incorrigible!" he admonished, but then added, "Whenever these foreigners decide to grace us with their presence I shall see about the burger."

After Severus went to punish some Ravenclaws for having a good time, I was approached by Mad Eye Moody. "Hello, Alastor, how are you this evening?" I asked. He always made me feel creepy. I suppose it was that eye of his.

"How are you getting on, Mrs. Snape?" he grumbled. "That baby of yours is getting big in there."

_For fuck's sake!_

"What? You can see that? Don't tell anyone yet! Severus and I aren't ready!"

"I won't. But soon it will be obvious. Hard to hide a thing like that," he groaned.

I sighed and felt very uneasy. Moody was not what I had expected of an Auror. There was something fishy about him. He was just so very, unnatural, and I'm not talking about that eye. Moody went to talk to Harry and Severus returned to me.

"Moody is wrong, Severus. I don't like him at all and I certainly don't trust him. He knows about the baby because that wicked monstrosity of an eye can see into my belly!" I whispered furiously.

"Dumbledore trusts him. I trust you," he said firmly. "If you say he is wrong, then he is in my opinion as well." He stood behind me and put his arms around my waist. "Beauxbatons…just over there." He nodded to the distant sky. A little while later the Durmstrang crew arrived by boat.

"I will see you later in the Great Hall."

He kissed my cheek and we set off to our assigned duties. I was to see to the Beauxbatons students and he had Durmstrang duties.

At dinner we all made room for our two new guest teachers. I still hadn't met Karkarov, but I really liked Madam Maxime who was the size of Hagrid. I was standing and talking with her when I finally met the ex-Death Eater.

"Hello. Are all the teachers at Hogwarts so lovely?" Karkarov said as he kissed my hand. "My, my, you are a beauty."

_Ugh! What a creep!_

"Who might you be, darling?"

"She is my wife, Ellie Snape!" spat Severus territorially. Karkarov looked astonished.

"Why, Severus, I had no idea you had taken a wife. You are a lucky man indeed. Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Snape," he said, eyeing me lustily.

"Likewise." I forced a smile. I stood closer to Severus and he put his arm around my back.

"Hm," hissed Snape, focusing intently on Karkarov. "Shall we join the others so the feast may begin, Igor?" he spat.

There was a very large cheeseburger waiting for me. "Did you talk to the house elves?" I asked.

"Anything to keep the two of you happy," he whispered.

I looked to my right and frowned. I really missed Remus terribly and couldn't wait to see him this weekend. "I know you miss him. Why don't you get a room in Diagon Alley this weekend and have a little sleep over?" suggested Severus.

"Are you quite serious?" He was always so jealous.

"He should know about the baby first. I imagine the two of you will gab endlessly." He sounded disgusted with the idea. I kissed his hand and we finished the feast talking to our neighbors.

In his office later on that evening I just had to ask, "Severus, why do these potions have to taste like moldy ass?" I cringed as I drank my prenatal potion.

"You are such a lady," he criticized. "Where would one find moldy ass? I think I have a need for it in my wart inducing tonic."

I rolled my eyes and began looking over the sheet music for tomorrow's lesson. "I think I will get a room for Friday night. You were serious, weren't you?" I asked.

"I already arranged a room for you and Lupin. I will send a large supply of his potion along with yours." Snape was drawing his usual red marks while grading his student's essays. "There are two beds," he added. Then he peeked up at me and grinned, knowing how I truly felt.

"Thanks, you are wonderful," I praised.

"You are an annoyance," he hissed.

* * *

I met Lupin in the Leaky Cauldron on Friday afternoon and told him about the arrangements Severus had made for us. 

"I think he is starting to like me. Either that or he's trying to pawn you off on me to move on to his next fling," Lupin joked.

"The latter I think. Let's eat, I am starving!" I said as I grabbed his arm and took him to a table.

After ordering a ridiculous amount of food, he ordered himself a Firewhiskey and asked me to join him. "Wanna get sauced?" he said raising his eyebrows up and down.

"You remind me of Padfoot when you do that!" I whispered. "No, I don't want that stuff. I shall stick to butterbeer, thanks."

"Ellie, you can drink me under the table! What's going on?" he asked.

I smiled secretively. "There is a reason," I began. Remus knew that I couldn't have children and the reasons why. I knew he was going to be shocked. "I am going to have a baby!" I said happily.

"Really? but…" he said as I interrupted him to explain. "That is wonderful! You will be a great mum! How far along are you?"

"Fourteen weeks yesterday. I know it's a boy, I just do. Guess what else I know?" I asked.

"Let me guess, he's a Slytherin."

"Yep. No Gryffindors here, except you and me."

"I shall love him anyway. He is your son after all. Our dog friend will die when I tell him," he replied.

"I have no doubts about that. Severus doesn't know yet, but I want to ask Harry to be his godfather. It just feels right to me, cosmically and all. Do you think Snape will kill me?" I asked.

"Yes, but I think you should do it anyway. Maybe this son of yours will turn Slytherin house around. If you and Severus can get married and you mysteriously get knocked-up, anything is possible."

I rather agreed. _This could change things for the better._

Lupin and I had a magnificent time that night and the next day. "How are you getting back? You can't Apparate in your condition?" he asked as we kissed goodbye.

"Floo Powder is safe for a few more months. Pet that dog of yours for me. I love you, Mooney," I said as I stepped into the fireplace. He blew me a kiss and then off I went.

POOF!

I appeared in our office fire. "That is so messy!" I brushed soot off my clothes and found my husband waiting for me.

"Did you enjoy your little escapade? You should head straight for the bath," he said as he kissed the one part of my face that wasn't ashen.

I did exactly that and he followed me.

"It was a lot of fun. I only wish he could still teach here. I want to strangle Fudge!" I complained.

"We all would," he agreed. "Let me know when you are out and we can uhm…" He looked at his ring.

"That's not all we can do," I said seductively. Deciding to tease him a bit, I stripped my clothes off slowly.

I was really a fiend lately. The hormones were driving me to it and Severus was more than happy to oblige.

As the weeks passed by, I had some visitors from the other school attend my class. They were impressed and curious; even Viktor Krum seemed less sullen. Harry had been chosen by the Goblet of Fire to be a competitor in the tournament and Severus and I were very suspicious.

"I have a theory about this," I said quietly to Severus in bed one night.

"Well, my little Sorceress, show me." I did the 'ring thing' and he knew I suspected Moody. "I know you hate him, but really, Ellie?"

"Just think about it, that's all I'm saying. Now, I am going to get some water and I shall come right back."

I was wearing only my underwear and a camisole. On my way back from the bathroom I did a double take in our full length mirror. I was really starting to show! I lifted up my camisole and marveled at the pouch in my normally flat belly. "Good lord, I look like I swallowed a pumpkin whole." I turned sideways. "I am getting fat! Soon you shall have to ask me to sleep with Hagrid's blast-ended skrewts!"

He got up and came to me at the mirror. "What are you blubbering about? I have never seen you look more radiant and desirable."

"Desirable?" I said as I looked at my belly. "Are you mad?"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I don't have eyes." He stood in front of me and ran his hands across my bare belly, looking very happy. "It is amazing," he said quietly. "You are only five months. This is only the beginning." He cracked a grin and said, "Beautiful. You are simply beautiful."

"You are too kind," I said sweetly. I could tell he really meant it and my heart flipped.

"We should start telling people now. This will stick out of your robes soon."

I felt it for the first time: a little kick from within. I gasped, "Did you feel that?" He looked shocked and knelt down to put his face to my stomach. It kicked again.

"Unbelievable, does it hurt?" he asked, still pressing his face to me as I played with his hair.

"No, it's like…bubbles or something. Well, I guess this is real, isn't it. It feels wonderful!"

"Yes it does." He kissed my tummy and stood to hold me. "I am without words."

"Me too, but now I can't wait to meet him!"

"Our son," he whispered and kissed me passionately.

"Don't start something you don't intend to finish, Professor."

"Remove your knickers at once," hissed Snape.

"No."

"Do not toy with me, woman," he whispered in a dangerous tone. "You are mine to do with as I please." With a wave of his wand I was completely nude. "I shall teach you a lesson for your insolence." With another wave of his wand my hands were bound behind my back. "You are my little whore, aren't you?"

I remained silent. I wanted to be punished.

Severus coiled his long, powerful fingers in my hair and forced me to my knees. "You are a naughty little whore," he hissed. "MY whore!"

"Yes, Professor Snape. I am your naughty little whore," I spat.

"Put my cock in your mouth and show me what I've taught you."

"I could bite it off, you know."

"You wouldn't dare. I know how you love it when I fill you completely."

My tongue lashed out and flicked at the tip. Severus growled and threw back his head. This was all the encouragement I needed to begin the oral assault on his member. From tip to base I tasted him. When I knew he could no longer bear the teasing, I swallowed him whole, again and again.

"Oh…that's it," he hissed. "Your skills have improved under my tutelage. A fine whore indeed."

When I felt the telltale twitch, I pulled away. "Not yet, Professor. We have much to do."

He pulled me from the floor, bringing my face to his. "This is a dangerous game you are playing," he growled. "Perhaps I should remind you who is the master?" Snape snaked his arms around my waist. "Get on the table." With his assistance I was now on the table by our bed, hands still behind my back. My legs were thrown over his shoulders.

He slid his erection across the wetness of my opening. "So you are ready for me, are you?" Shaking his head he continued, "Beg me."

"Never."

"Beg me, or you shall have nothing."

"Perhaps it is you who should beg me, Professor."

He moved his hips in small, taunting circles. "Tell me what you desire."

"I want you to fuck me, Professor. Fuck me now!"

"Beg."

"Please, fuck me."

Snape snorted out a laugh befitting a demon. "I told you I would make you beg." With one thrust, he was inside me.

"Gods…yes, Professor!"

Without further ado, he released my hands from their bondage allowing me to steady myself on the desk. Had I not been pregnant I have no doubts that this little encounter would have turned very wild and hard. I wanted it wild and hard! Lucky for me my husband had better control of his faculties than I, and more than once he had to subdue me, but not without my protests, of course.

* * *


	12. Chapter Twelve: The Other Man

**Chapter 12: The Other Man**

**

* * *

**

We informed the staff of my condition at breakfast the next morning. After we told Dumbledore, McGonagall was next. She knew we were married, but somehow she seemed more than a little uneasy with the idea that two of her former students would actually engage in conjugal activities.

"I'm due in April."

"Congratulations." The look she gave my husband was one of accusation rather than congratulations. It was almost as if she were scolding Severus for soiling one of her precious Gryffindors.

"Minerva, will you stop gaping at me like that"

"Severus," I said calmly, "you may want to keep your voice down. The Slytherins are beginning to stare."

He muttered something unintelligible before slamming down into his seat. Severus Snape was not a man of few words – though many people would prefer it if he was – as his choice of words were generally icy and of a less than flattering nature. His kinder, more considerate words were reserved only for me, and occasionally Dumbledore, when no one else was around. Lately I had noticed a change in him. I wouldn't call him distant, not that he was ever near to begin with, but I was of the impression that he wanted very badly to tell me something, but wasn't quite sure how to say it.

We enjoyed companionable silence most evenings in his office, where we would both become rather engrossed in our work, the only sound being the scratching of our quills. Call it intuition or whatever, but when I looked across the room at my husband that night to find him staring back at me, I knew he had to tell me something important. Silently, I closed my book and made my way to his desk.

"What do I tell him?" he asked.

"What do you tell whom, Severus?" I took a seat on his lap and took his hands in mine.

"When I was young and foolish, full of hatred and hungry for power --all those people, Ellie," he began. "Some of them were younger than our students. The first time I witness a killing, I was sick, horrified by what I had seen. Then, each one after became easier somehow."

"Oh, I see. This is about…"

"What sort of god or gods or person for that matter would allow a man such as me to have a child? I am far better suited to destroy than to nurture, and I certainly have no patience of any substance. My own father was the worst sort of man. He never bestowed any affection on me or my mother and certainly did not pretend that either of us was of any importance. I hated him from the moment I could speak."

Even just talking about his father was enough to bring the venom to his eyes. I knew that look and feeling all too well.

"Joining the Death Eaters pleased my father, you know," he informed. "It was the only time when he actually told me he was proud that I shared his name. He was proud of me. Proud that I stood by while Death Eaters tortured, poisoned, and murdered innocent people for a cause I never believed in."

"Severus, you are not your father. You know that."

"I am far worse."

"No, you would have been, but you made a choice not to be. I am not going to pretend that what you did was justifiable or that I fully understand. The difference is that you chose not to continue down that particular path. You have spent over a decade working against you-know-who, and at great personal expense."

"My debt will never be paid in full. I can still hear their voices and see their faces!" he hissed.

"I know," I whispered.

"I was a fool who became an animal." Severus took my face in his hands. "Why do you love me?"

"Honestly? Well, I just do. I could give you hundreds of reasons, Severus, but when it comes down to it, I just love you." I thought for a moment and then continued. "When I was in college, a good friend of mine told me that love isn't about the one you can live with, it's about the one you can't live without. When I was away from you, I was…lacking. It was if my reason for continuing to live had been removed from my being. That may sound silly or trite, but I was so dead inside."

"I do understand."

"No matter how far I traveled, or how many things I learned, or how many people I met, I knew I was missing something. I never could find it; it was always just around the corner. The first time I met you when I was ten, something inside me came alive. You can't imagine what it felt like to see you there across the room. For the first time it was as if someone really i saw /i me, really wanted to see me."

I kissed his lips sweetly and continued. "Severus, I came back for you. All of you. Sins, regrets, lies, love, friendship…all the things within you. I don't care how broken or guarded you are. I need you."

His eyes closed as he embraced me. "I do not deserve you."

"Bullshit! I blame myself for some of your decisions."

"Never, ever say that," he commanded. "I did not take the Dark Mark because you left me. I took it because I was weak, and then left the Dark Lord because I was weak!"

"No! You joined a group of wizards who made you feel powerful and promised you a place where you would belong. You left because you knew it was wrong!"

"It was more than wrong," he hissed. "It was utterly immoral."

"Yes, it was," I agreed. "You are only human and for that reason you are flawed. It is not as if I am perfect. You always did put me on some pedestal far above everyone else and you never should have. I lie and cheat and hurt people too. I have even murdered, remember?"

"That is different! You committed a righteous act when you killed Sir, Ellie! I watched people kill for sport because I was trying to please my master!"

"Killing Sir might have been an act of righteousness, but I killed him nonetheless," I replied. "You know, The Guardians were not exactly good parents either, Severus. At least we know what not to do with our child."

"What do I tell him when he asks me about my past?"

"Tell him what you want, but don't lie to him. He will understand when he is old enough, which won't be for a very long time," I assured him.

He placed his hands on my belly. "He will never know the kind of suffering we have. I will make sure of that."

"I know," I whispered.

We decided to go to bed early that night but talked for a long while about all sorts of things as we lay in each other's arms. Parents were a sore spot for both of us since we had the very worst anyone could hope for. Severus never really discussed his home life, but I knew much about it from what we had shown each other from time to time. He was just as damaged as I. I thought at times that at least together we made a complete person; maybe not a well adjusted person, but a complete one nonetheless.

"I have told you much of my times at while you were gone, but you always avoid the subject when I ask you," Severus mentioned as he twisted my hair in his fingers.

I giggled and asked, "What would you like to know?"

"Everything," he replied smoothly. "What did those Americans do to you that made you stay for so long? Even I could not persuade you to remain here for very long."

"That's not fair, I snapped. "I'll have you know that some of my best friends weren't even American."

"Are you going to talk to me or are you just going to insult me all night?"

"I do so enjoy insulting you," I chirped in a silly tone. " As you can imagine I was a bit of a nerd."

That comment was answered by a snort of amusement from Snape. "Nerd indeed. You mean know-it-all."

"If that's what you want to call it, then yes. Now shut up already so I can continue! Did you know that the main reason I took chemistry was because of you?" He arched his eyebrow in curiosity but did not interrupt. "It was the closest thing to Potions. It surely didn't help though, did it? Anyway, I decided that being a teacher would be a good choice for me. I love to share my ideas and knowledge with fresh young minds, or at least semi fresh minds. That may sound ridiculous to you but I just have so many thoughts in my head, it seems a shame to keep them all bottled up."

"I want details not drabble."

"Patience, Professor," I hissed. "So, college was wonderful. I enjoyed playing Muggle and had to contain myself many times from correcting professors, my history teachers in particular. Other than my academic pursuits, I did make good friends with several people. My best friend was named Rob Milner. He and I would argue about nearly everything but we got along well. He helped me learn all about computers and I helped him pass chemistry without blowing up the lab."

"How very Longbottomesque," hissed Snape.

"He really was very brilliant, just not in chemistry," I informed. "He was really there for me through some extremely difficult times. And, no, he wasn't my boyfriend. We were just very good friends."

"Hm."

"Most of my friends were boys, Severus. You may as well get used to that idea. You know how I feel about most girls: too silly and back-stabbing for my taste. I was just one of the guys to them."

"Ha! With a body such as yours I find that impossible to believe," he grumbled in a jealous tone.

"You would!" I remarked. "I suppose you don't want to hear about my holiday trip to Florida then."

"Does it involve you and a boy?" he asked nastily.

"Three boys, actually."

"Ménage a…" he started.

"Not likely," I stopped. "Forget it. I think I have something that will entertain you more than a story anyway."

Severus pulled me on top of him and asked, "Does it start like this?"

"You are a quick learner, Professor," I whispered as I nibbled his neck.

* * *

The Triwizard Tournament began at last. The first event was a success and Harry was still alive. I ate with Harry, his friends, and the other Weasleys that night, while Severus talked with Karkarov. 

Later that night in the office Severus informed me that he had something to show me.

Severus pulled back his robe to expose the hideous mark on his arm. "It is getting more visible," he hissed.

"It won't be long now, will it?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"I wish I could say no," he remarked. "Do you have a gown for the Yule Ball? It has been a long time since I had you on the dance floor?" he asked, changing the subject.

"You don't really think I'm going like this, do you? I am getting bigger every day!"

"You shall attend with me, for I refuse to go alone!"

"If you laugh at me in the tent of a dress I shall have to wear, I'll slap you silly!" I spat.

"You will look amazing and you know it. But, mind that your breasts do not spill out too much. They are getting rather large," he mused while staring at my chest.

"You haven't seen anything yet, you just wait," I warned. "Oh, hell, will Lucius be there? If I have to listen to him go on about purebloods and children like we're some sort of livestock, I may not be able to control myself."

"You know he will be. Leave him to me; he shall not say a word."

I had fun at the dance and did feel rather pretty. Severus and I were making out in the rose garden like teenagers when low and behold we were once again sabotaged.

"Really you two, that is how you have found yourself in this condition to begin with," crooned Lucius Malfoy. "You owe me a dance, Mrs. Snape, you promised."

"Lucius, why is it that every time Ellie and I step into the rose garden you feel it necessary to interrupt?" spat Snape.

He laughed and said, "Come now, Severus, surely you are not jealous." Severus curled his lip in disgust.

"All right boys, don't make me separate you two. My love, I did promise," I informed my husband as I took Malfoy's arm.

Malfoy spun me onto the dance floor and drew me close to him.

"It is a pity you and I never got together," Lucius proclaimed as we danced, a little closer than I would have liked. "We would have made quite a pair."

_A pair of what? _

"I always fancied you, you know. You were always the loveliest girl in school." He was now a little closer.

_Oh please don't go there!_

"Lucius, I don't think Narcissa would appreciate that very much." I hoped he would drop it and back off a little.

"No, I suppose she wouldn't, but I do not care," he muttered. "If you ever tire of your husband I would be happy to step in."

_What! No no no no no no no!_

"Or even if you wanted to keep him, I would be more than happy to have a fling. I'll tell you a little secret: When I married Narcissa I closed my eyes and pretended it was you. Maybe you might even have _my_ child someday. Oh, Mrs. Snape, I fear that I am in love with you."

_BLOODY HELL! What is he talking about? I have got to get the hell away from this crazy bastard now_!

"What the hell are you…" I began.

"Draco adores you, Ellie. He would easily forget about Narcissa if you were to be his mother. Think about it. I would love you and show you pleasure like you've never known," he sighed hungrily.

Just as I was about to run away, he kissed me! And it was no peck either. He nearly gagged me with his tongue down my throat.

"UNHAND MY WIFE, MALFOY!" roared Severus as he advanced with his wand at the ready.

Everyone was staring as I was trying to pry myself from Malfoy's hands. Severus was furious! I ran to his arm and grabbed it. I thought he would kill Malfoy right there in front of everyone.

"Now, Severus, I was simply congratulating Mrs. Snape about the baby. There is no need for jealousy, is there, Ellie?" he said calm and cool, as if he was telling the truth.

"Definitely not, Lucius," I insisted coldly. "Make sure to say hello to your _wife_ for me, would you."

"Of course. Now, I think it is time for me to leave. Do come to dinner soon, won't you?" Lucius relayed cordially.

Severus lowered his wand and calmed himself. "We shall see," he spat. "I think you should go now, Lucius, before you feel the need to _congratulate_ someone else's wife."

When he had left Severus and I decided to leave as well. "I shall kill him if he ever lays a hand on you again!" Snape was livid.

"That was by far the most disgusting, embarrassing, utterly repulsive thing that has ever happened to me!" I said emphatically. "What in the hell was he doing? He knew you could see him! You won't believe what I have to show you."

I placed my ring to his temple and showed him all that Lucius had said. He was even angrier than before. "Can you believe he wants me to be his mistress? He sounds like he's going to do in Narcissa and replace her with me!" I yelled.

"He professed his love for you! He wants father your children!" he raged. "He wants you to sneak round behind my back and sleep with him!"

"Severus, surely you don't think I would…"

"No, of course not! I know better than that! I just want to kill him! Another man is after my wife!"

Then suddenly he became silent and pondered something.

"What is it? Are you all right?" I was concerned.

He took me gently in his arms and kissed me for a long time. "You know that I love you, don't you?" he asked very seriously.

"Yes, I know. What is it?"

"Maybe you should play along and have an affair."

"Have you gone barmy? You want me to sleep with Malfoy!" I screamed.

_He's lost his mind!_

"No, but just think, if he trusted you and thought that you had feelings for him, he would divulge certain things; things that even I cannot discover by spying," he replied smoothly.

"Please tell me that you aren't serious?" I begged.

"It may be our best hope. I know it would not mean anything, and if you do it now there is no chance you'll have his child," he said sadly.

"There is no way in hell I will agree to it! Do you have any idea what you are saying? Please tell me you aren't serious! Severus!" I yelled. He didn't answer me. He was serious!

I started crying and ran into the bedroom slamming the doors behind me. He wasn't joking. He wanted me to have an affair like some whore, and with his child inside me! I felt almost like I had the night of the rape.

_How could he ask me to do this? _

I cried so hard I thought I might drown. "Get out of here!" I screamed at him. "I can't bear to look at you!" I threw my pillow at him and stood up. "How dare you treat me like some common prostitute? Get out now!" I fell back on the bed crying madly.

"Please listen to me," he pleaded.

"I said get out!" I was hysterical. "I need to be alone right now! I won't listen to you about this anymore!"

"Do you know how serious this situation is? He has opened a door and we must try to…"

"WE? This is ridiculous! Stop this, now!"

"You said no matter the consequences, Ellie," he reminded me.

"I would die if you asked me to, but cheating on my husband and ruining our lives together wasn't part of the deal!" I replied. He just stared at me. "I don't even know you right now! If you don't stop I will leave you! Severus, I will leave you forever!" I screamed.

"Please, do not say that," he hissed. "You cannot mean it." I just continued to cry with my face in the pillows. "You have to calm down. This is not good for the baby."

"You think it will be good for our baby for me to have sex with Malfoy?" I spat hatefully. "What are you thinking?" I was disgusted. "Don't you dare touch me!" I warned as he tried to take my hands.

I went to my wardrobe and began throwing my clothes on the bed. I grabbed a bag and began stuffing my belongings into it. I stopped suddenly and put my hands on my belly because the baby was going nuts. I tried to calm down for my child's health, so I stopped packing and sat on the bed.

"Please don't leave me," he whispered softly. I reached out to him and he put his arms around me and put his head on my belly. "I love you more than anything. Please, Ellie, you cannot leave me again."

I had only ever seen him cry once before. It was after we had shown each other everything while in France and it wasn't like this. He was terrified that I might leave him. I was so angry and scared by what he was proposing, but the sight of the unemotional Severus Snape crying was enough to make me reconsider leaving.

I started to feel ill and there was a pain where the baby was. I winced and said, "I think something's wrong," as another pain, more intense than the last, stabbed at me.

He lifted his head from my belly. "What?" he asked concerned.

"My stomach hurts," I informed. Now I was scared that I might lose my child. "It's the stress. I can't lose this baby, not now!"

"I'll send for Poppy," he said quickly.

"I'm scared."

"This is my fault," he snapped. "I'll be back immediately." He ran out of the room leaving me terrified on the bed.

It was less than two minutes he was back with Madam Pomfrey. "Calm down, Ellie. It will be all right," she tried to comfort me. She took out her wand and examined me looking grave. "I don't know what started this, but severe stress can cause you to lose the baby. What happened?"

"Nothing," I muttered, not wanting her to blame Severus when I blamed Malfoy.

"_Nothing_ wouldn't cause your baby to try and be born four months early," she said sternly.

"Oh, gods," sighed Severus. "Is he all right?"

"He? If you mean the baby, yes. For now it has stopped but, Ellie, you can't get too worked up. I want you to stay in bed tomorrow and then find some way to manage this stress, or your child will try and come far too early. A child born this early will not survive." She looked at Severus suspiciously. "You are both very lucky this time."

I closed my eyes and caressed my belly as she left.

"How can I begin to tell you how sorry I am? I would never endanger our son," he whispered when Poppy was gone. I didn't answer him. "When I saw Malfoy kiss you I went mad. Please, Ellie, please say something," he begged.

"Tomorrow I will send Lucius an owl to let him know I want to see him privately," I stated calmly. "I will do whatever he wants and I will get your information. I am used to men taking what they want from me so I will know how to handle it. I never thought in all my life that my husband would give me away so freely. I was wrong about a lot of things, I suppose. No one, and I mean no one, will ever take my child from me. Not even you." The only man I had ever loved had asked me to betray him, and in betraying him I betrayed myself.

"No," snapped Severus. "This is all wrong! There are others means of retrieving information. I was a fool to even suggest it."

"You were right, Severus. I will be Malfoy's whore," I hissed coldly. "Now get out of here and let me sleep before you try and kill my son again. OUT!"

When I fell asleep that night the nightmares had returned. I didn't care anymore; I only cared about my son.

* * *

I woke early and went to send Lucius the owl. When I came back to bed Severus was nowhere to be found, and for the first time in 16 years I did not look for him. I placed a ward on the bedroom door that only I could break and went back to sleep. By dinner time I was ready to eat so I left the room. I went to the kitchens to eat alone because I had no desire to see my husband. I went to Gryffindor tower to stay in the common room. Snape couldn't follow me there. 

"Ellie, what are you doing here?" asked Hermione.

"I just needed a change of scenery, you know," I replied kindly.

"I guess the dungeons are a bit…dull. Are you sure you're all right? You look lost in thought."

"Yeah, I will be just fine."

"Professor Snape has been looking for you everywhere. Does he know you're here?"

"No, and I would like to keep it that way," I said a little firmly. "I'm sorry Hermione, hormones and all." I made an excuse.

"Men won't understand that but I most certainly do. Just relax a bit. I wish I could stay and talk but Harry and Ron are waiting for me in the library," she said. "I'll see you later, Ellie."

"Bye. Tell them I said hello, won't you."

I talked with many students that day. When everyone had gone to bed I decided I needed to go home.

"I have been looking for you all day," Severus said calmly. "Are you alright?"

"No," I replied.

"I am sorry. Can we please discuss this?"

"No."

"I need to know that you are not leaving me. Please, just talk a bit," he begged gently.

"All right, I'll talk; you listen. I sent the owl this morning. I am waiting for Malfoy's reply and when I get it I will meet him. I am not leaving you. You know I never will. After he has his way with me I shall never be the same. If you don't like who I become you have only yourself to blame. I think we should sleep in separate rooms from now on. You can stay here and I will go back to my old rooms. When the baby is born you can decide if you want to be a part of his life, knowing his mother has betrayed you at your request," I informed calmly and went to the bedroom.

"I will not allow you to do this! I will not allow you to give yourself to him and I will not let you move back to your rooms! You cannot do this, Ellie. We have been through too much all these years to toss it all away! You are everything to me and I want my wife and son to be with me always. Do not allow a jealous rant from an angry man to drive you away," he pleaded with all his heart.

"Do you really mean that? I can't take this and if it ever happens again, Severus. I will snap." I wanted so much to forgive him. I just hurt so very deeply.

He came to me slowly and I held out my arms. He fell into my arms and I knew I could never be without him. "Nothing will ever come between us. I love you, Ellie. Can you forgive me?"

"I already have." I kissed him and held him tight. He carried me to our bed and held me all through the night.

* * *

Three days later, on a Sunday, I received an owl from Lucius. I looked at Severus as I opened it. 

"What do we do about this?" I asked, having forgotten that I had sent Lucius the letter.

"Read it and than let me read it. We will figure something out," he assured.

I opened it and read…

**'Dearest Ellie,**

**I have waited for this since the first time I knew you were pureblooded.**

**I can't wait to have you alone, and I promise you will not regret it.**

**Narcissa will be out of town for days and we can have the house entirely to ourselves.**

**Tell Severus you will be staying with a friend, I know he trusts you.**

**Meet me at my door at six o'clock Friday night. I love you, Ellie, I really do.**

**I will show you just how much over and over again. Don't worry, Iwill be very gentle.**

**I would never hurt you or your baby. I cannot wait to see you!**

**All my love,**

**Lucius'**

I thought I would be sick. "This is repulsive! Here…" I exclaimed and handed it to my husband, who read it and then made a face of utter disgust.

"Since the first time I knew you were pureblooded? Oh now _that_ is true love," he spat.

"What in the hell are we going to do?" I asked.

"I can tell you exactly what you are not going to do," he spat.

"You can say that again."

"If you met with him and made it clear that you only wished to talk, I think he would respect your wishes. I know it is risky, but if you do not meet with him now it will look suspicious."

"Severus, I am sorry that I sent the owl. I have really made a huge mistake."

"Maybe not," he interjected. "You and I have an understanding that goes beyond words. Our love is strong, Ellie. Nothing can break us, nothing. Malfoy may very well love you and if he does you will easily be able to ensnare him. If not, the situation may become more complicated and dangerous."

"What if I have to…make him trust me?" I asked.

_What if I have to sleep with him? _

"Do whatever you think is right," he mumbled sadly. "I hope that it does not come to that, but only you can decide. There is nothing that you could ever do that could change the way I see you. We know the truth like no one else can," he whispered. He looked at my belly and put his hand on it. "We have worked miracles together. Our son may be in danger if we cannot find out why someone is trying to drive us apart. If our roles were reversed, and you could find a way to make our son safe that involved my being with another woman physically, how would you feel?"

I finally understood. I knew it wasn't anything but a weapon. I would love and respect him for it. I looked him in the eyes and we spoke volumes without a word. "We will fight for our son, and for the children and families torn apart by Voldemort. I don't want him to end up like me or Harry. We will not fail." I kissed him and ran my fingers through his hair.

After we made love I thought about something else.

"Severus, where exactly are we going to put the baby? He shall have to sleep with us at first but then… we can't just stick him in the office?"

"Quite right. I shall speak with Dumbledore about an expansion. There are empty rooms on the other side of that wall so I think it shall be fairly straight forward," he said.

"Great idea! Perhaps a small eating and living area, and of course a nursery."

"Yes, and we might as well add another room while we're at it. In case…there is another baby someday," he casually remarked.

"Anything is possible, isn't it? Would you like another child?" I asked.

"No, I would love another child. Whatever we are blessed with we shall take." That really surprised me.

_I bet we shall have four._

"I love you, Severus Snape. You never cease to amaze me."


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Manipulating Malfoy

**Chapter 13: Manipulating Malfoy**

* * *

All we needed was a plan. Neither Severus nor I knew what exactly Malfoy had planned for Friday, but we were going to leave little to chance.

Chance.

There was a chance that Malfoy wanted nothing more than a tawdry affair. There was a chance that Malfoy believed that I too was involved with the Dark Lord because I was, after all, married to a Death Eater. There was a chance Malfoy knew Severus was a traitor and knew the best way to get to him was through me. There was a chance that this could go terribly wrong, but there was also the chance that it may go as planned.

If I could successfully manipulate Malfoy, gain his trust and loosen his mind, Severus and I could possibly know if the other Death Eaters were keeping secrets. But what if I couldn't? What if I had to give my body to another man and for nothing? Severus never was one to share his belongings with others. Although I was not technically his possession, I definitely belonged to him, and I would have it no other way. There was something very wrong about what we were planning to do, and the ramifications would no doubt be great on both our marriage and our work as spies.

If I could get Malfoy to tell me about Voldemort's whereabouts or plans it would be priceless information. But there would be a price. Could Severus and I really survive willing treachery in our marriage? If Snape was the one whoring himself for the greater good of wizard kind, could I turn the other cheek and pretend that I didn't care?

There was a foul stench coming from a cauldron in the office. "Severus, what is that? It smells like raw sewage mixed with…butterscotch."

"This is for you," he replied. "It is a potion that will allow you to separate your higher brain from your conscience. If you are unable to keep Malfoy from…having sex with you, this will make it bearable."

"Oh." What does one say to that?

"The potion must be ingested a full hour before the event in order to be most effective," he stated in his best Professor Snape voice. "I recommend that you take it before you leave the castle."

"Do I really have to go through with this?"

"No, it is your choice. I do not want you to do this, but I know we may gain invaluable knowledge." Snape began to stiffen up and turned to face away from me. "If he forces himself on you, I will kill him. If you fear that you are losing control of the situation I want you to leave immediately, no matter how suspicious it may seem to him."

"With any luck things will go smoothly and with out my having to…"

"Don't say it," he hissed.

The plan.

Two potions, a very unwilling woman, a very willing Malfoy, a very jealous husband, and a little luck. The plan had to work.

Potion number one: Pro-Veritasia Legilimae. The Potions Master had created a serum which would lower inhibitions and allow the drinker's mind to be at ease, which would make said drinker's mind open to suggestion and infiltration, and also create a form of temporary memory loss.

Potion number two: Draught of Disunity. This was an old potion, originally created by a cheating husband so he would not feel the guilt associated with constantly cheating on his wife. The potion allows the drinker's conscience to separate from the logical part of the brain, effectively creating a state of emotional numbness and mental clarity.

OOOOOO

Friday arrived all too soon for both me and my husband. As I gathered my things, we looked lovingly at one another. "I will be very careful," I whispered as we kissed goodbye. We decided that I should go out alone so if anyone was watching they wouldn't suspect a thing. He would explain that I would be staying with Lupin, and Lupin had agreed to cover for me by hiding out with Sirius for a few days. I dressed normally so as not to arouse suspicions. If I showed up looking like a tart Lucius would smell a rat.

I took a Portkey to Hogsmeade, then the Night Bus to a Muggle taxi station. I took a taxi to within a few blocks of Malfoy's manor then walked the rest of the way. The door to Malfoy's manor appeared before me, and I started the plan my husband and I had devised.

"Good evening, won't you come in," Malfoy said as I entered the house. He looked very pleased with himself, a bit unnaturally so.

"Hello, Lucius," I said kindly.

_You ass._

"I hope you're hungry, Ellie. I have a lovely meal prepared for us in the den by the fire," he said secretively. "Come." I took his arm.

He had outdone himself. There was a small table covered with blue linens which had several silver platters topped with ornate lids. A large bouquet of white roses sat at its center. It would have been romantic if it hadn't been Lucius.

"Lucius, this looks wonderful, thank you," I said sweetly and kissed his cheek. There was something odd about him and for a moment I saw a flash of something in his eyes.

"I sent the house elves to stay in the guest house so we could have complete privacy," he said as he helped me take my seat. "They did prepare this first, naturally."

_I wonder if he will try and poison me? No, that's not it. That is way too risky._

"Try some of this. It's an old family recipe." He put a small serving of sweet potatoes in sauce on my plate. He got a bit of the sauce on his finger and licked it seductively, putting his entire finger in his mouth. Normally I would cringe and possibly vomit but not tonight.

I had to admit they were delicious and I told him so. "I am absolutely starving these days. Since I found out I'm pregnant I have eaten non stop." That was the truth.

"You look radiant, Ellie. Your condition agrees with you."

I could tell he meant it. I had to admit that since the nausea had passed I felt wonderful. My hair and nails were growing wildly; my breasts that were never small had swollen a bit and my skin almost seemed to glow.

I smiled and thanked him. "I am a bit nervous. I hope you aren't mad." I was going to play him like my piano.

"Of course not. I had expected you would be. I am also a bit nervous because I can't believe you are finally here with me," he said.

There was something about the way he looked at me.

_Maybe he really does have feelings for me? Come to think of it, I have never heard him tell Narcissa that he loves her, and I was with them nearly all the time in school. Severus did tell me that their wedding was more like a business transaction and that Lucius had never mentioned anything about love when he had told Severus of his intentions to marry her. Could Malfoy really have harbored unrequited feelings for me all these years? I am beginning to think so._

"I'll be right back," he said. "I have a chocolate pie in the kitchen."

_Do it! Add the potion now!_

In a flash, I poured the potion into his goblet.

_That was close!_

He came back with the pie and sat down, then immediately sipped his wine.

_Ten minutes…then it should work._

Lucius reached across the table and gingerly stroked my hand. I had to resist the urge to pull away. "Your skin is so soft," he whispered. "You are so beautiful." I almost pitied him. He was just so very…unnatural. "Would you like to sit on the couch for a bit? I know you must be tired."

"Yes, I would."

_Come on potion….work!_

I stood and took his hand, guiding him to the couch. He was like a child or a sleepwalker the way he just stared at me in wonderment, as if I was just his imagination. He sat close to me. I put my head on his shoulder, which surprised him a little, and he put his arm around my shoulder and stroked my arm. It was getting difficult, but I tried to remember that we had been friends long ago. _My_ potion was helping me to loosen up, but I still felt wrong about this situation.

_What am I doing?_

"You smell like fresh lilacs," he whispered as smelled my hair and ran his lips across my forehead. "Are you all right with this? I don't want to frighten you away."

"I'm not frightened. Thank you for being so gentle with me," I replied sweetly. I wanted to go home and curl myself around my husband. I wanted to feel Severus' arms, not Malfoy's.

"A woman like you should always be handled with care. I remember when we were younger and I was rough with you." He sounded very regretful. I believed he was very sorry indeed. "I am sorry for that, you know. I would never dream of hurting you, Ellie. You are far too precious."

_Sure you are now! I remember when I was just a Mudblood to you, Malfoy. I haven't forgotten all the nasty things you did to me in school._

"It was along time ago, Lucius. I have changed since then, we all have. Everything happens for a reason."

"Severus loves you. He always has. I regret…well, he has always been my friend." I believed him for some reason.

_What exactly is going on here?_

"He has been very good to me, Lucius. He trusts me," I said sadly.

"I'm sorry, Ellie. We don't have to do this. We can stop anytime, but I just want you so. I want to know how it feels to be in your arms. I have never felt this way with any other woman, and I have had many."

_Gee, you mean you haven't been a faithful husband? Who ever would have guessed?_

"Severus is the only man I have ever been with."

_Why in the hell did I just tell him that?_

That statement did arouse an unexpected reaction in Lucius. He looked at me as if I were a virgin.

"Those other women were nothing to me. Women have never been anything more than a distraction, a way to pass the time. Narcissa is a cold woman, but she is from good stock. The only person other than you that I care for is my son. Draco is my life and I would do anything for him." I saw the love in his eyes when he spoke of his son, and I pitied him.

"Draco is a fine boy and I like him very much. He looks just like you, you know? He is very good to me and works hard in my class. I hope that my son will be as wonderful as Draco."

_If he is I will drown him at birth. My son will be nothing like Draco._

"You're having a son? That's splendid. He will be amazing, Ellie, he has to be. He is, after all, yours. You will be a magnificent mother. I can tell you love him already."

"I do. I love him with all my heart. I would do anything for him." And I would, including sleeping with a man I detested.

"So would I," he said seriously. "I would look after him as my own if you gave me the chance."

_Oh no! Please, don't let him say what I think is coming next._

What was I supposed to say to that? He surprised even me with that one. There was that look again. I had the feeling he was trying to tell me something.

"That would be rather complicated, don't you think?" I asked, trying to think what to say next. "We are both married to other people. I know Draco is fond of me, but he already has a mother, Lucius."

Lucius looked sad and…something else, but I couldn't tell what it was just yet. I decided to use a bit of magic. Lucius' state of mind after drinking the potion would be more dream-like than realistic. I took my left hand and ran it across his temple, pretending to be affectionate.

_The ring will capture something. I can feel it._

What would happen next I didn't know.

"I am tired. Do you think we could lie down and just hold each other for a while?" I asked so sweetly that I almost believed myself. There was the strangest look in his eyes.

"I would like that very much. Let me get your things and we shall go to the guestroom," he said. He took my bag and then my hand and led me up the stairs and into the guest room. "You can change if you like. I will be back in a minute," he whispered.

_What in the bloody hell do I do now? I can't believe this._

When he was gone, I went into the bathroom and changed into my nightdress. Not a tawdry one, but one I would normally wear. It was red silk and it was pretty, but not so much that it looked like I was trying to seduce him. I brushed my hair and looked sternly in the mirror, wishing my husband were there beside me. I put on a matching silk robe and returned to the bedroom to wait for Malfoy. I put out a few torches to soften the light. I was just extinguishing the last one when he came in. He was wearing dark blue, silk pajama bottoms and a matching robe. He wasn't wearing a shirt. I felt my stomach heave a bit, but the potion Severus had made me began to do its job. My Potions Master never failed me. I felt disconnected but I still had my wits about me.

He came to me smiling sweetly like a schoolboy. I embraced him and we began to kiss. He was so tender, not at all like I expected. "Let's lie down," he whispered, guiding me to the bed. I drew back the blankets and slid into bed. He just stared at me there in the bed.

"Is there something the matter?" I asked.

"No, I just love looking at you. I have only seen you a few times in the past sixteen years. You are just so exquisite, Ellie. I have missed you." He got into bed and looked me in the eyes. I moved closer to him and pressed my lips to his. He held my face in his hands and kissed me passionately. I felt myself grow distant, like I was watching it happen but not actually doing it. "Oh, Ellie," he moaned as he continued to kiss me. He stopped and put his head on my chest and caressed my arms, which were around him. "You feel so good, so warm."

I felt like I was comforting a sad little boy as I ran my hands through his long, blond hair.

_There is something more to this. There is something different about him. Something very odd. It must be the potion._

"Lucius, are you alright? Is there something you want to tell me?"

He looked up at me slowly, lovingly and I could tell that he did in fact want to tell me something. But would he? What was that look in his eyes?

"You traveled for a very long time, didn't you?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, I did. I went all around the world."

_All right, Lucius, what are you playing at?_

"Where was your favorite place? I was always rather fond of Egypt myself. I have been there many times," he said.

A bell went off in my head and it rang and rang.

_Egypt! Oh, Gods! This isn't about Voldemort! This is about me!_

"Yes, I went there once," I replied calmly. He started kissing me again.

"Very old and magical, Egypt. Things are written in blood in the pyramids. Most people think it is some sort of dye, just daily scribbling from slaves of the Pharaohs. One has to look closely to see the truth." It was as if he was in some sort of trance or telling me ghost story. He started kissing me again and moved his hands over my breasts and down to my stomach. He gently stroked my belly and continued. "Children of the Originators rose up against the kings. The path that was strong was now divided. The branches of the lines were never to be crossed. A child would be born of the magic of old and, in the life from true loves deception, would return the life that was already past."

_What? That sounds like what I read in my book! What does he know of this?_

He looked into my eyes and I could see he had taken a risk by telling me this. I had no idea what it meant, but that is when I realized that he did care for me and he had warned me because of it. He wasn't trying to come between Severus and me, but he knew something or someone was.

"Lucius," I whispered, astounded.

"I love you, Ellie," he said and kissed me. "There is only one man who loves you more and you must never betray him," he whispered.

He put his head back on my chest and I hugged him close. "I want to stay here with you tonight, just like this." I kissed his head and stroked his hair. Lucius Malfoy was in love with me and had found a way to tell me a secret, and no one would be the wiser.

We slept like that all night. When I was certain that he was asleep, I spoke very softly, trying to give him subliminal messages.

"You enjoyed yourself very much this evening, Lucius. You got everything you wanted and then some. When you wake up you will remember falling asleep in my arms after a night of passion. You will not remember telling me anything about Egypt. In the morning, you will send me back to my husband and then you will go about you business as normal."

_I hope that potion really does leave the mind open for suggestion. This is a royal mess. Egypt…what on earth was Lucius trying to tell me? Walls and pyramids…and what the hell is an Originator?_

OOOOOO

Like a good little puppet, Lucius did as I had instructed in the morning. I had no idea how temporary the memory loss would be, or if he would ever really know what went on last night, but I just wanted to get back home to Severus. When I reached the castle gates I could hardly keep from running.

Alastor Moody grinned maniacally at me as I passed him.

"Mrs. Snape, you have been missed. I can see the guilt and smell a man who isn't your husband." Moody looked far too pleased.

"It is not your concern what I do with my own time," I said in warning. "Keep your mouth shut, for my husband will never believe you." I played guilty and he bought it. He laughed a deep grumbling laugh as I went to find Severus. Moody was not who he appeared to be, and I would not be surprised if he had encouraged Malfoy to do his bidding.

When I found Severus he was drinking wine and facing the fire. He knew I was there but did not turn around. "Did the potions work?" he asked coldly. I could tell he had been drinking for a while.

"Everything is fine. We didn't need _my_ potion," I said quietly. He turned around looking hopeful. "He told me something, Severus, but he didn't even try to sleep with me." I assured him and he ran to me and held me and kissed me.

"Good," he said desperately.

"Severus, I am here now and I always will be. I am yours only," I cried.

"I have been sick just thinking about it. How is our son?" he said as he bent down to kiss my belly.

"Active. He's getting stronger with every kick," I giggled. "He and I are never better now that we are here with you."

"Never again we will do this," he sighed. "We should lie down and then you should show me what he told you so we can figure it out."

"I need you to make love to me first, Severus. I want my husband," I said as I buried my head in his chest.

He picked me up and carried me to our bed. "I want my wife," he replied.

"Severus, Malfoy knows some thing about me or my past. He wanted to know about Egypt."

* * *

Later on as we lay naked in each other's arms I began to explain. "Severus, I had an idea when I was with Malfoy. I ran my ring across his temple and I am sure I took something."

"I wonder what is that you took. Lucius is a skilled Occlumens, Ellie."

"I know, but there was something there, and I think he was trying very hard to tell me," I said. "Are you ready to begin? We should both do it so we can see it together."

"I agree." We placed our hands on our temples and said in unison, "_Fidelio_." We relived it together. Severus wasn't at all upset by what we had seen.

"Ellie, I want you to promise me something."

"Anything, what?"

"If anything should happen to me I want you to go to Malfoy," he said. I looked at him like he was crazy. "He isn't a good man, but he seems to love you and would take care of you and our child. I am certain of it."

"Nothing will happen to you, but if that is what you want I will promise. I could never love him, Severus."

"I know, thank you for agreeing to it. Now, what he said was cryptic but I think he couldn't be anymore specific or he would be found out."

"Severus, we need to go to Egypt straight away. How can we without arousing suspicion? I can't Apparate and floo powder won't be safe for much longer. Broomsticks are also out of the question because there is no way I could sit on one for more than an hour. What if we went as Muggles? I can't fly on an airplane because my third trimester is too close, but a boat or train or something," I suggested.

"Dumbledore will be here and we can't interfere with the tournament anyway. Cypress…that's where we'll go. I'll arrange a Portkey to the witch's haven there. I have been talking about going there for years to see about some rare potion ingredients. We can disappear from there. Egypt will be a long boat ride but I think it is our best chance."

"It sounds almost right but, we will have to travel by land from the coast. A motor boat would make it but there is far too much traffic on the river and too many prying eyes. We won't have time. The trip from Cypress alone will take all night," I informed.

"Weasley, Bill Weasley," he remembered.

"It is too dangerous to involve him, Severus. Gringott's will miss him if he's gone too long. I don't want anyone to question him or his life could be in danger." I was very concerned but knew Bill would help. "We don't even know where to look and pyramids are heavily guarded by Muggles and wizards. There are geographers, paleontologists, geologists, all sorts of people digging and excavating, researching." I was flustered.

"You could get in. You are a Harvard graduate not to mention a Sorceress. You could convince them you were there to research. You are adept at living as a Muggle and you can read and decipher hieroglyphs, no one would doubt you."

"I would need documents, equipment, and a team, Severus. It will take longer than four days to make it look convincing."

"Let's sleep on it for now, but we are on the right track. The book…you should ask the book," he whispered.

"I can ask it? It does its own thing and I…well I have never tried asking it. Tomorrow we shall see." I kissed him and he wrapped his arms around me as I lay on my side facing away. Thank the stars, I was finally home with my husband.

* * *

After breakfast we went to his office and I sealed the door. "Well, here goes. Do you want to watch?" I asked as I opened the book. He agreed sat in the chair and I pulled the ottoman between his legs and leaned back on his chest. He put his arms around my waist, rested his chin on my shoulder, and folded his hands on my belly.

I turned to the first page and said, "I call to myself, to the earth, the waters, the winds, and the fires…I am the beginning: before the beginning and after the end." 'I' appeared on the page. "Do you see?" I asked Severus. He nodded yes so I continued, "Show me The Originators."

_I walked away and Severus and I watched. There was darkness and then there was light. A young woman was running from something…she wore a crown and her hair was golden. A man ran after her screaming her name, calling to his wife. She fell to the ground and pleaded for the life of her child but he was full of rage. It wasn't his child, he said. She had betrayed him with the king. The husband used his magic . A light came from nowhere and then she was dead. He fell to the ground and yelled at the heavens above, cursing them, blaming them._

_The king found him with his lover dead. The king cried out and all went dark. They were somewhere else now underground the sound of metal on rock could be heard but not seen. The husband and the king were facing each other as the lights were extinguished. We saw a flash of her body behind the wall and then the men were outside as the last stone was placed in the wall. The husband walked away and the king slit his wrist and let his blood run down the wall of the tomb. All went dark…we saw her and she was me again. She was pointing to the wall at the words that had been formed from the blood of the king. 'Death reverses and life progresses, backward then forward then backward to the future of the past to live again …' all went dark. I was facing us and the book_ _slammed shut._

"There was more written on the wall," I whispered.

"It was you," he gasped. "You were there."

"How is that possible? I saw it and felt it but… have I lived before?" I was confounded.

"Something happened when you she died, something that changed magic forever. We will go to Egypt for as long as it takes. I will go first and arrange things with Weasley and Dumbledore will make it look like Gringott's business. Then, we will go together during the second task. You will remain alone until I can rejoin you. We will make it look as if we've had a terrible fight and you needed to get away for a while. We shall have to think of something that everyone will believe, Ellie. Malfoy… I'll pretend to have discovered the two of you were having an affair."

"Severus, they won't believe it."

"Moody knows you went to him. He will believe it and so will our enemies. Our allies will play along," he assured.

"It may just work. We will have to reconcile before the baby is born. People will believe that you want your child and forgave me for his sake."

"Yes, absolutely, no one, even our enemies would think I would refuse my own child. I have to speak with Dumbledore immediately. I shall go now." I nodded my head and we kissed before he left.

"This has to work. It's our only choice," I said quietly to myself as I went to dinner.

OOOOOO

The next day Severus went to deliver a package from the Ministry to Gringott's in Egypt. I went to London to phone my chemistry professor at Harvard to see about an expedition.

"Professor Lindstrom, it's Ellie Kinsington. I'm calling from London. Do you have time to talk?" I asked eagerly.

"Ellie, it's been years! How are you?" he asked.

"Wonderful. I'm living in England with my husband. He and I are both teaching chemistry at a private school here." Well, Potions was almost like chemistry. "We were hoping to do some research in Egypt. You remember I always wanted to," I said.

"Congratulations! This husband of yours must be a very special man. I don't think you ever dated while you were here. Egypt, huh? You are in luck. There is a team in Saudi Arabia that is waiting for a chemist who can read Glyphs. Your timing is impeccable! They can be in Egypt as soon as six days. Ellie, this is unreal!" Professor Lindstrom was very excited.

"Wonderful, Tim! How many people are there?" I asked.

"Seven. We have two archeology grad students working on their theses, a biology professor, an archeologist from Saudi, a historian from NYU, a geologist from here, and the very best data collector slash computer whiz."

"You don't mean…"

"You got it, babe. Rob Milner, PHD," he said. Rob Milner and I were old friends. He and I had done research on many occasions and he was the best at sorting out information. We had also been roommates the last two years I was at school. We had a blast together and had been very close.

"That is spectacular, Tim! This is just too perfect! I can be in Egypt in ten days. How will I get the documents?"

"Milner will meet you in Tura. He's there now sorting data for a group of local scientists who are studying irrigation. He is just a phone call away. How can I reach you, Ellie?" he asked.

"I'll call you at noon Wednesday between classes. It is difficult to get calls in the building due to security measures, so I will call you from…a pub phone, ok?"

"I'll set it up now, girl. Come see me when your research is complete. It is so good to hear from you. I'll talk to you Wednesday. Bye Bye."

"Bye, Tim." I hung up the phone and took a taxi to Diagon Alley. I used Floo Powder to get home and ran to dinner, just in time.

OOOOOO

"Fornicating again, Mrs. Snape? Severus hasn't been gone for a full day yet and already you're sneaking around," growled Moody.

I played along setting things in motion. "Women have desires the same as men, Professor. What my husband doesn't know can't hurt him." I had put on a bit of the cologne I had taken from Malfoy's house the other night and scratched at my neck to make it look like I had been…playing. I had also made certain to mis-button my blouse a bit. I looked guilty as hell.

Moody looked pleased and convinced. "Oh, Mrs. Snape…he'll find out soon enough."

I pretended to look angry and nervous. "If you say anything I'll deny it. He will never believe you," I spat angrily. He just went about his business.

OOOOOO

Monday and Tuesday went on as normal, except of course that Severus was still in Egypt. The teachers had all been assigned to cover his classes which left me with fourth year Potions Tuesday afternoon.

"Neville, I want you to work with Hermione on this. I know Professor Snape doesn't want you to but today is different." Hermione loved helping out and she beamed with pride as she instructed Neville.

"Draco, could I have a word with you for a moment," I whispered.

"Of course, Mrs. Snape." Draco loved feeling important.

We went to Snape's office next door. I gave him a hot chocolate with a bit of memory altering Veritaserum that Severus had devised. I waited for him to drink half of it before I began. I saw the look in his eyes and knew it was time.

"You will leave my office after you write to your father," I commanded. "Begin the letter by talking about the task next week, make it casual like normal. You will tell him Professor Snape is out of town. You will mention that I am having lunch with Lupin in the Leaky Cauldron a one thirty tomorrow. You will complain about Lupin and make it sound as if you are concerned for me and that you hate Lupin. You will say you overheard me talking to Madam Pomfrey about my plans for lunch when you were in the hospital the other day, getting boils removed after Potter cursed you. You will tell him Severus and I have been arguing a lot. When you are finished writing the letter you will send it at once. When the owl disappears you will not remember what you have written or having this conversation just now. You will be hungry, go to dinner, and tell your friends all about what a wonderful time you had organizing the cupboard while I fed you chocolates. Do you understand?" I finished.

"Yes, Mrs. Snape. I had a wonderful time. I need to write to my father, please excuse me," Draco said dreamily and then did as I had enchanted him to do.

I knew that McGonagall and Moody were going to Diagon Alley around two tomorrow. If everything went as planned I would have lunch with Lupin, Lucius would come to me, and Moody would discover us together. Severus and I had planned it out to the letter and I knew he would be proud of me, no matter what I had to do to be convincing. At dinner that night I laughed to myself as I overheard Draco bragging about the chocolates and skiving off my class at my orders. They were like my puppets being lead about the stage in my show.

OOOOOO

On Wednesday I reached the phone in a hotel just outside London and placed my call to America. It was set in stone. Lupin was waiting for me in the Leaky Cauldron at one o'clock. As we hugged I whispered in his ear, "It is in motion. Follow my lead," and with a peck on his cheek, we sat to eat lunch. Severus had contacted Lupin at Gringott's the day he set out for Egypt and roughly explained things.

"You are getting bigger, Ellie. How much longer now?" he asked.

"Nine weeks. He is starting to kick the blazes out of me."

"I bet. So tell me about this romantic get away you are going on."

"Severus just wants me to himself for awhile." I pretended to be annoyed. "We are going to Cypress for a few days. I hope that calms him down a bit because he's been really testy lately. All we seem to do is argue anymore." The lie came easy as it was well rehearsed.

"I am sorry to hear that. You two always seemed so happy and in love?" He played along.

"Appearances can be deceiving, Remus. Snape's always more concerned with his infernal potions than he is about me. I almost don't care anymore," I said sternly.

We went on and chatted about absolutely nothing until the end of the meal. I knew Lucius had been spying on us the entire time. "I'll see you soon, Remus. Don't mention to Severus that we got together while he was out. I want to keep some things to myself." I hugged him good bye and then I went down the street and pretended to look at books near Knockturn Alley.

There is something else I should mention. What I had taken that night from Malfoy's temple was his perception of what went on that night at his manor. Severus and I had figured out a way to alter it. Malfoy's willingness to warn me coupled with the Severus' tweaked Vertaserum potion had created a sort of funnel into his psyche from the moment I touched his temple to the moment I left him. My husband and I were uncertain of what Malfoy was left with, but I was going to put his new 'memories' back in his head before I had the chance to find out.

"Hello there," Lucius said quietly.

I whipped around and pretended to be startled. "Lucius! I…I…what are you doing here?" I asked all flustered.

"I was just doing some shopping." He held up a bag. "Then I saw a vision of beauty."

_Yuck!_

I forced myself to blush a little and crack a shy smile. "Lucius, people are around," I whispered and looked around as if to appear guilty.

"Come down here with me. I doubt your colleagues will be in there," he said, pointing further into Knockturn Alley. I had seen Moody out of the corner of my eye go down there a few minutes earlier.

_This is falling into place perfectly!_

"You first," I whispered, looking at a book, "then I'll follow." He disappeared around the corner and I followed him. When I got there he grabbed my arm and pulled me to him. I acted excited and ran my hands across his temples feeling the energy leave my ring. He was pleased and kissed me greedily.

"I have been thinking about you non stop since you left." Malfoy stuck his tongue down my throat again. "I think I drank too much wine but I do remember that you were incredible," he whispered. I knew Moody was watching, probably with his eye through the wall next to us.

_Too much potion, really. Well, are you ready for round two, Lucius?_

"Lucius, I want you. Take me right here and now," I begged as I started sucking and biting on his neck.

"Ellie," he moaned in a dangerous and strained tone. He slid his hands under my skirt, so I raised my leg and wrapped it around his waist. I kissed him furiously.

_This is ridiculous! As if I would ever 'do it' in a dirty alley that smells of urine and …what **is** that smell?_

He stopped suddenly and looked angry.

"What's wrong?" I pretended to care.

"This isn't right. This is too dirty, not nearly good enough for you." I was surprised he noticed. "I love you my darling. We should go somewhere else," he said sweetly.

_Oh please!_

"I want more than just a few minutes with you. I want to spend hours making you feel good," he said sincerely as he kissed my cheek. "Another time then."

"Lucius, we have a few minutes so…let's make out."

_That was really lame, Ellie. Let's make out?_

He smiled warmly seeming to like my suggestion. While he was enjoying himself I was going over my plans step by step. I only hoped Moody was watching because I wasn't doing this for the hell of it. Thankfully, our time was up.

"When can I see you again?" he asked hopefully.

"I don't know. Things are getting complicated with the tournament and all. I miss you already." **_Lie_** "I will write to you soon. I am late and I really must go."

"I will be dreaming of you, my love. Do write soon," he pleaded as I left.

_I need some mouthwash and a long, hot shower! Moody…there you are._

As I left the alley Moody and I exchanged looks. I pretended to be horrified and walked away quickly.

_Severus is going to love this!_

I decided I would look guiltier if I didn't go to dinner, so instead I had a long, magnificent bubble bath and sipped hot chocolate while I soaked. Because Dumbledore had placed a special protection for married couples on our rooms, Moody wouldn't see the smug grin that I couldn't wipe from my face. After reading my book I crawled into bed, hoping Severus would wake me in the night.

OOOOOO

I felt my husband curl around me and I woke up happy. "You feel so good," I whispered sleepily.

"So do you." He was getting fresh with me. I moaned as he grabbed my breasts. "Aren't you going to turn around?" he asked.

"No, I think I shall like it this way," I said seductively. He liked what I said and did as I requested.

OOOOOO

The next day we went about as normal, plotting and scheming. I showed him what I had done since he had been away and he laughed a small, stuttering laugh.

"What? You never laugh?" I asked.

"I cannot decide which is more amusing: Malfoy trying to shag you in the alley, or what you were thinking while he was trying."

"Severus, really, you are enjoying this far too much. We shouldn't get pleasure from hurting people," I scolded.

"You forget, Mrs. Snape, that I am a Slytherin," he said proudly.

I rolled my eyes and slapped his arm. "How could I forget?" I shot him a look of reproach. "You won't be smiling shortly. If we don't figure out how I am to end this 'affair' soon I will actually have to go through with it." I shivered at the thought. That sobered him up quickly.

"You will not!" he shouted. "You belong to me!"

"Right. So how are we going to end it?"

"I will find a way while you are on Safari. Lucius will not come looking for you! I will kill him first!"

"Calm down, Snape! We don't have time for a fit right now!" The look he gave me could probably have killed a lesser woman. "Do you have your Muggle clothes together yet?" I asked.

"I have them, but you need to help me. Do Muggle men really wear these?" he lifted up a pair of cargo khakis and a camouflage t-shirt.

"No, Severus, I just wanted a good chuckle," I said sarcastically. "We will be in a desert, you know. No one will be wearing black." He looked extremely displeased. "Now, we are meeting Bill at the port city of Rashid, then to Tura to meet Tokey. He will have our documents and he must believe you are a chemist. That shouldn't be too hard. Then…"

"Tokey? I thought you said his name was Milner?" Severus interrupted.

"Oh, right, sorry. That is what I used to call him when we lived together," I explained. He looked jealous. "Merlin's beard, Severus. Rob is gay."

"Gay? I'm glad he's happy but…"

"Homosexual. You know, a fruit?" I replied

"You mean he prefers…" he understood, "Oh, right."

"You are so thick! I called him Tokey because we used to smoke a lot of…things in college. Look, he's the best and he's a good friend. We can trust him, even if we get exposed as non Muggles. He would freak a little, but he would adjust."

"Hm," he grumbled. "I have never met any of your regular friends before. What if he thinks I am unusual?"

"I hate to be the one to tell you this, Severus, but you _are_ unusual. He is my friend and he will love you. He won't believe I am actually with a man!"

There was a knock on the door in our office so we hid our things.

"What are you doing out of bed, Potter?" spat Snape.

"Er-a package came today for Mrs. Snape from a …friend," Harry said cautiously.

"Severus, go back to work," I commanded. "Padfoot?" I whispered when Severus had gone. Harry didn't know that Snape was on our side. Harry nodded and slipped me the package. "Thanks," I whispered. Harry smiled and then left.

"Who sent you a present? Lucius?" Snape hissed.

"No, Sirius. Would you like to open it?" I asked as he eyed it suspiciously. I tore it open. "Oh, look, how sweet." Sirius had sent a baby blanket. It was red and gold with the Slytherin house symbol embroidered in the center. Severus sneered but then said something very un-Snapelike.

"The first of many silly things we shall receive. I guess our son shall need something to keep him warm when I'm not holding him."

I was touched by the thought of him not wanting his son out of his arms. I gave him a sappy look at he snarled at me. My husband was so adorable!

* * *

More to come… 


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Muggle Safari

**Chapter 14: Muggle Safari**

In the blink of an eye, it was time to go to Cypress. We left after class Thursday, after wishing Harry luck, of course. The Portkey was just outside the gates, and in a flash we were in the witch's haven of Scaliko. It was a bit dodgy, but that seemed fitting. We wasted no time getting to the boat. It was a Muggle cruise line run covertly by witches. All night long I puked my guts out, until Severus was able to sneak a potion down my throat between heaves. At three in the morning we arrived in Rashid and began to search for Bill.

Bill Weasley was standing by a jeep looking very anxious. "Ellie!" He saw me and waved happily. He helped Severus with our luggage and told me his bad news. "We were supposed to have an enchanted truck, but it broke down on the way here. This is all I could get. I have no idea how to operate it, though."

"No worries, I can drive. All that Muggle time must be worth something." I exclaimed and climbed into the driver's seat then started the engine. Bill hopped into the back, but Severus just stared at me. "Severus, get in the damn jeep." I scolded. "You forget I can do nearly everything. Stop acting like a git and climb in!"

Bill was laughing, but stopped as soon as Severus got in. "Buckle up, boys, this is gonna be fun!" I showed them how to fasten their seat belts and off we went.

Severus looked apprehensive at first but eventually looked pleased. "I haven't done this in ages. This reminds me of driving on the beach during spring break from college. How are you doing back there, Bill?" I called.

"Great, this is fun!" Bill answered.

"How many hours to Tura?" I asked.

"About three at this speed."

I accelerated. "We'll make it in just over two," I replied.

"Is that really necessary?" hissed Snape.

"You are in my world now. Try and enjoy it." I sang out.

OOOOOOOO

True to my word, as the sun began to rise in Africa we pulled into Tura. "How will you get on from here?" I asked Bill as we unloaded our things.

"I am Apparating back to the goblins. I'll be fine." He hugged me. "Be very careful, the three of you," he said as he patted my belly. We assured him we would and then he left us.

Severus hugged and kissed me. "Well, this is it," he whispered. As we were kissing…

"Chokey! Hey, Chokey!" I heard Rob call out. Severus and I stopped kissing but held on to each other. Snape wanted to see who was addressing me in such a manor.

Severus whispered under his breath, "Chokey and Tokey… save us all."

"You're pregnant! I see how you two are; making out in public! Ellie!" Rob held out his arms and I ran to him.

"Rob, oh I missed you! You look great!" We pecked on the lips. "Come and meet my husband!"

"The man who captured Kinsington!" Rob joked happily as he shook Snape's hand. "Wait a minute, is this him? The one you always talked about when we were high? The one you said you were madly in love with?" he asked excitedly, a dawn of recognition rising on his face.

"The one and only. Rob Milner, this is my husband, Severus Snape."

"I knew it! She talked about you like you were the prince from Sleeping Beauty, man. She had it bad for you." Rob chucked Severus on the shoulder.

"Well," Severus mumbled, looking at me, "I 'had it bad for her' as well."

"The two of you are perfect! God, Ellie, I love this guy!"

"I knew you would, Tokey. Oh, how I've I missed you!" I squealed and I hugged the two of them together.

Severus seemed more comfortable than I had seen him in ages. "Milner, is there anything to eat?" he asked.

Rob smiled and replied, "I always loved that accent. Yeah, grubs cooking on the campfire. Come on."

"I like this Milner," Snape began. "I believe we can indeed place our trust in him." I squeezed his hand. "So, you spoke of me to him in college?"

"I loved you so much, Severus. I could hardly think of anything else."

"I love you more everyday, Chokey," he growled, which made me laugh. "Everyday."

OOOOOOO

We sat on the ground around the campfire eating our eggs and bacon catching up. We told all our old stories of parties and studies.

"Hey, Snape, did Ellie ever tell you about the trip we took to Florida for spring break?"

"No. I believe it involved my wife and three men," he spat.

"Yep, that's the one!" confirmed Rob. "It was so much fun! I think you would get a kick out of it."

"Hm…do tell," Snape said sarcastically.

"Rob, he doesn't want to hear about it."

"Come on…it's a good story!" whined Rob.

"Fine," spat Snape, "but I reserve the right to stop you at any time."

"That's cool," agreed Rob. "Well…we were twenty one and our third year of college when it happened…"

_

* * *

__Thank gods, spring break is finally here!_

Midterm exams had been quite a bitch. Usually I was content to remain in the dorms during any sort of holiday, but this year I decided to go somewhere warm where I could drink myself into oblivion. Key West was the destination I had chosen and, for some inane reason, I decided to suffer through a 28 hour car ride with a German, Rob Milner, and a boy who looked angry even when he was happy. The aforementioned German was in my Organic Chemistry lab and the angry boy was his friend. Lutz, the German, was the very best party animal Harvard had to offer. The angry boy, whose real name was Keith, was called 'Captain' -- apparently due to his fondness for a certain variety of spiced rum.

There we were, just the four of us, piled into my beast of a car: the old Chevy Caprice. I called my car the 'S.S. Kinsington' because fitting it in a space was more like docking a boat than parking it. I took the first driving shift as we set off around six that Friday night in March. The German and Milner were in the back seat with a large cooler of terribly cheap, canned beer wedged between them. Captain was in the front passenger seat and had the job of scanning the radio and alternately putting in cassette tapes to keep the festive music flowing. All in all it was a pleasant journey. Had it not been for the fact that I had a cold and was in a Nyquil induced coma of sorts, it would have been wonderful.

We reached Fort Lauderdale around eight the next morning when I passed the responsibility of driving on to Captain. It was fitting: Captain in command of the S.S. Kinsington. With Captain in control, I took my seat in the back where Lutz had been and promptly cracked open a cold, bad beer. The combination of cold medicine and the very worst of American beer quickly had me in a state of drunken bliss and then drunken sleep.

I would have slept the entire way but when the wheels of the car began to screech, I was quickly jolted from my reverie.

"Son of a bitch!" yelled Captain.

"What the hell was that?" I asked.

"I almost hit an alligator!" Captain replied. "What the fuck, man?" Lutz was laughing hysterically but I was not amused. "Shut up you fucking bratwurst-essen, bier-trinken mistkerl!"

_That_ I found funny. "Excellent command of the German language, Captain. Until about five minutes ago, I didn't even know you could speak English!" I laughed out.

"Reisigbuendelm," muttered Lutz.

Captain turned to me and asked, "What does that mean?"

"Keep your bloody eyes on the road!" I yelled. "I am fairly certain that he just called you a queer."

"Yep. That is what I said," confirmed Lutz.

"I get more pussy in a week than you got when you were coming out of your mother!" yelled Captain.

There was a collective 'Oooo' from the car before I slapped the back of Captain's head. "That was disgusting!"

Several hours and several insults to everyone's mothers later, we arrived at our accommodations in sunny Key West. The hotel was dodgy at best but that really didn't matter. Nearly every waking moment of our vacation was spent stumbling up and down Duval Street; crawling in and out of pubs and clubs.

* * *

"Stop right there," demanded Severus. "Were the two of you _ever_ sober during your stay at college?"

Rob and I both laughed hysterically. "We were sober in class," informed Rob.

"I hate to interrupt, but when will the rest of the crew be joining us?" I asked.

"Our crew will meet us here in about four hours. We'll start out for the first site when night falls. It is way cooler and not as many people will be out. I pitched a tent for the two of you so you guys can get some shut-eye," explained Rob. "When are you due? You're not going to squat and spit out that kid in the desert are you?"

I laughed at the look on my husbands face at this suggestion. Snape was rather amused. "No, dumb ass! I am due in late April. I will manage just fine. You know how strong willed I am."

"Strong-willed? I'd say more like stubborn as a constipated mule!" fired Rob.

"Ha!" barked Severus. "How right you are! Milner, you seem to know her almost as well as I. Excellent!"

Rob and I burst out laughing and Severus did that odd laugh of his. "Severus, I have never seen you like this before! You are actually smiling and laughing in public." I was amazed.

"I told you, Ellie, I like this Milner," Snape reminded.

"I like you too, buddy!" admitted Rob happily as he and Severus toasted their coffees.

_Next, they will hug and rollup a joint before they toss a football around. I'm so happy they like each other. This is getting fun!_

"Tokey, if I could borrow my husband for a bit, we need to rest."

They looked like children who had just been called out of the play yard for dinner. He patted Severus on the back and said, "All right, but don't get too loud or you'll scare the camels." I rolled my eyes as Severus grinned and joined me.

I was fairly sure Severus had never gone camping before and was rather surprised at his reaction when he got into his sleeping bag. I got in mine beside him and we snuggled up. Just before we fell asleep I swear heard him say, "If I were a man who preferred the rod, I would gladly go with Milner."

OOOOOOOO

I woke up before Severus and joined Milner to meet our team. My back was killing me from sleeping on the ground and I feared I would have to find a solution to this problem immediately, as I was only going to get larger. My stomach wasn't really all that large for a woman nearly eight months pregnant, but I sure felt gigantic. Rob handed me some beef jerky and introduced me to our teammates.

First I met a young married couple, the grad students, Matt and Sarah Idle. He seemed nice enough. Matt Idle was a tall, skinny man with dirty blond hair and brown, horn rimmed glasses. His wife, Sarah, was a pretty petite brunette with perfectly manicured nails. I could tell she was pampered and I doubted she could survive out here. Her shoulder length hair was neatly styled and the dry winds kept fighting against her efforts to keep it in place. Prissy, high-maintenance women annoyed me to the core.

Next I met Micah Ephram, the hippy looking geologist. He was mellow. He had his long graying hair tied in a ponytail which got wispier as it went down the middle of his back. He had a very friendly smile through his bushy gray moustache. His friend from NYU, Phil Crouse was a historian writing a novel on archeological expeditions. Phil was a very handsome and muscular man in his forties with thick, blond hair and bright hazel eyes. Phil had a wife and three daughters. He missed them so much that almost every word out of his mouth was about something one of his girls had done recently.

The biology professor's name was Jonathan Johnson, and preferred to be called Doctor Johnny. Doctor Johnny had red hair and pale blue eyes that blinked more than normal. He had a bit of a twitch and constantly shuffled his feet. The most interesting member of the team would have to be Gilly Moffett, the Saudi archaeologist. She had gorgeous brown eyes that had flecks of green and shiny black hair cut short like a boy. Her tanned, olive skin was flawless and I thought she was stunning. Gilly had an English husband that lived in France who looked after their two sons while she traveled around the world making lots of money. She spoke perfect English and one would never guess she'd grown up in Saudi. I liked her at once and could tell she felt the same about me.

We were all eating, cleaning and loading rifles, and talking loudly when Severus emerged from our tent. What a sight we must have been. We looked like a bunch of AWOL soldiers preparing ourselves for Guerilla warfare. Gilly had a filter-less cigarette dangling from her bottom lip while she drank a beer and loaded her rifle simultaneously. My pregnant belly and I were aiming at an old bean can across the camp with a long sharp shooting rifle. My hair was in a high ponytail and I was wearing cargo khakis, an army green tank top, and an unbuttoned khaki shirt, with the arms rolled up to my elbows. My worn, brown hiking boots I had had since college completed the ensemble. Gilly and I alone were a sight to behold: rogue amazons.

I saw my husband and lowered my gun. "Sleep well?" I asked cheerily. Had I not been here on such pretenses, I would have been in heaven. Snape was eyeing me and my crew suspiciously.

"Excuse me, Madam, have you seen my wife? I believe I left her here somewhere?" he asked cordially. I laughed and gave him a large, wet kiss. "My wife will have your head for that, Madam."

"Snape, how's it going?" Rob asked as he took my gun and inspected it. "Have you met the gang?"

"I have not yet had the pleasure," Snape sneered as he surveyed the crowd. "That woman," he nodded at Sarah Idle, "is she in the right place?" Sarah was putting on lipstick while gazing in her hand mirror. Severus rolled his eyes. "That will not help, you know." I had to laugh.

"Oh, that's Sarah and the goofy looking guy next to her is her husband Matt," informed Rob. "She and Ellie already had words."

Confused, Severus asked, "Had words?"

"I simply explained that she might want to cut her nails before she starts digging in the sand and rocks," I informed. "Then there was the matter of the toilet," I spat.

"Ellie told her there wasn't one and called her 'princess.'" Rob chuckled. "That's our girl, eh, Snape?"

"Hm, my wife always has been…tactful," he replied sarcastically and curled his lip at me. I pecked him on his cheek. "What time is it?"

"Four. We'll be leaving in about three hours," I answered. "Severus, this is Gilly. Oy, Gilly!" I yelled, and then asked her in Arabic to come meet my husband.

"Hello, Severus, great to meet you!" she exclaimed enthusiastically as she shook his hand like a man. "Hell of a woman, your Ellie! I was pregnant on my first dig, you know. She's tough as nails and one hell of a sharp shooter to boot!"

"Really," he asked, looking at me suspiciously.

"Chokey could pick a pea off a cocktail fork from a mile away!" exaggerated Rob.

"Oh, please, Rob! Maybe a half mile." I winked.

Severus shook his head and replied, "She never ceases to amaze me. I had my reservations about leaving my very pregnant wife in the middle of nowhere, but now I see that I may have been misled." He then muttered quietly to me, "Nice outfit, dearest."

"I swear on my mother's grave I won't let anyone or anything touch her, Snape. I've got her back." Rob's hand was raised like he was being sworn into the Boy Scouts of America.

"Your mother's still alive, dick-wad!" I chastised. "Severus, he will take excellent care of me."

"Such colorful metaphors, Chokey," Snape criticized. "Thank you, Milner, I am sure Ellie has yours as well."

Severus was introduced to the rest of the crew and he formed a very definite opinion about Sarah: she was useless. We packed all our gear and loaded it into our three jeeps then set out just before sundown. The Idles and Phil were in the middle of the caravan. Severus, Rob, and I were in the rear, and Gilly, Doctor Johnny, and Micah took the lead.

Gilly and I were literally riding shotgun due to unstable governments and local upheaval. Excited as I was to fire my magnificent weapon, there was no need; we arrived at our dig site unscathed. First, we set up our equipment tent and then our lab stations.

Severus assisted Micah in pitching all the sleep tents and creating a fire pit. I was so proud to see my husband doing manual labor and not complaining or using magic. How well he was adjusting to Muggle life, extreme as our circumstances may have been. I did use magic once, when no one was looking, to conjure a camp bed that I could waddle in and out of with ease. I mean, that belly of mine would not allow another fit of struggling up and down to get in the sleeping bag on the ground! Severus shot me a look of reprimand before saying, "Clever wench."

The first day began at dawn and it immediately became clear that no bloody walls were to be found here. I hoped Bill was having better luck than we were. My Potions Master assisted me in preparing slides for analysis and samples for carbon dating during the first and second days of the dig. Treasures were abundant if what one was searching for was four thousand year old pottery and human remains.

The night before Severus was to leave me, he and I were talking in our tent when we heard a loud bang in the distance. We peered out the tent and only Gilly was out there.

"Just the other team shooting at rats again," Gilly dismissed.

Severus and I knew better. That had been the sound of someone Apparating. Who, we did not know. Our question was answered a minute later when the figure of a man approached our fire. Gilly aimed her rifle at the shadow and called out, "This is aimed at your head!"

"Hold on, miss, I'm looking for the Snapes. My name's Bill. Don't shoot," answered the eldest Weasley.

Gilly looked at us for confirmation.

"Bill! It's fine Gilly, we know him," I assured her and she lowered her weapon.

"Mr. Weasley, what are you doing here at this hour?" spat Snape.

"I've got owls…I mean letters for you both. I also found something that may interest you," Bill answered happily.

Severus seemed annoyed but I told him to be nice. "Want a coffee, Bill?" asked Gilly as she poured herself one.

"Yeah, thanks." Bill took a cup and Gilly nodded to us to let us know she would give us some privacy. "Here." He handed us our owls and we walked to the dig site to talk. "So today we went back to this old ruin to break some curses and I found a doorway I hadn't seen before. I only had time to peek inside 'cause the goblins would get suspicious. A long stone wall was inside, Ellie, and some very faded Glyphs in a reddish brown dye that looked as if it was missing about half of the original words."

Severus glared at him and then opened his letter. "Where?" he hissed and began to read.

"Well that's the thing you see, most Pyramids, or the real ones anyway are in Giza. This one was just outside a Muggle city in a hillside, or what's left of it. I think you should have a look, but it will have to be very late at night so no one will suspect," Bill said and sipped his coffee.

"This is from the headmaster," Severus informed, looking up at me from his letter. "I shall have to leave early I am afraid." Severus could see I was concerned and put his arm around my waist.

"Is something wrong? Is it Harry?" I asked.

"No, but Dumbledore thinks Malfoy may be getting anxious and I must intervene."

"Damn, this isn't going to work!" I declared in exasperation. "Severus, I will go now with Bill and I want you to come too. Maybe we will get lucky and I can go back to Hogwarts with you."

"Even if we are successful, you are needed here. The team cannot finish without you, Ellie, so remain the entire time."

"Five weeks isn't that bad if you can keep Malfoy pacified. Okay, let me get my things and we'll be off. We can take a jeep and I'll tell Gilly…you're out of gas and we're running you back to your camp. She'll go with it." I walked quickly back and did what I had said.

"You aren't Muggles, are you?" Gilly asked.

"Muggles?" _How could she know that?_

"My oldest boy started Beauxbatons this year. Bit of a shock, but now I can tell when someone is…special," she said secretively. "My lips are sealed, Ellie. I'll cover for you, go on."

I stared at her in disbelief. I never would have figured her for the mother of a wizard. "Thanks, Gilly, we'll talk later."

I went back to Bill and Severus and got into the jeep. When we were on the road I told Severus about Gilly and her son.

"I believe we can trust her, but do not give her any unnecessary details," Severus warned.

OOOOOOO

"Ellie, slow down a bit. The path is just over there," said Bill, pointing to a patch of shrubs. An eroded hill sat in the middle of a sand field. This had to be it. I parked the jeep and we all headed for it. "Smells a little moldy in there," proclaimed Bill as we walked further into the tunnel.

"Did you hear that?" I stopped and looked at Severus.

"_Lumos_…yes," Snape answered. "Something is behind that door."

"Boggart, I bet. They love it in these dark, quiet places," surmised Bill.

Severus and I agreed and I opened the door. Sir jumped out looking the way he did when I killed him: bloody with his neck gaping. I hadn't expected that but recovered quickly. "_RIDDIKULUS_!" I fired and with a pop Sir changed to Madam. "_RIDDIKULUS_!" I said again and Madam's head shrank, then she vanished. "I see you've met The Guardians," I said disgusted to Severus, who appeared shocked.

"The Guardians?" asked Bill whose face was twisted in repulsion.

"Never you mind," Severus warned Bill and held me close for a moment. "Are you all right?"

"Yes. I had hoped never to see that scene again. Did you see all that blood?"

"There is none of it on you, my love," he comforted reading my mind. "Ready?"

"Bill, you stand watch. Severus and I need to do this alone," I stated and we went to find what would hopefully be the key to my past and our son's future.

Something was written on the wall. "That's not it, but it says to look farther." After an hour we found the wall we had seen in the book. "It's too faded, Severus, and parts are missing." I had an idea. "Give me your knife."

He handed it to me and I cut my arm below the elbow. "What in the hell are you doing?" he screamed.

* * *

A/N: This is my favorite line from this chapter from Snape: "If I were a man who preferred the rod, I would gladly go with Milner."

To Be Continued. Please review.


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Bits and Pieces

**Chapter 15: Bits and Pieces **

* * *

As the blood flowed freely from the slash in my arm, I lied to my husband, "It only hurts a little." I put my arm on the wall and let the blood run down it. Comprehension spread across my husband's face when symbols began to emerge when my blood passed over the stones. "Ooo, I think that's enough. Can you stop the bleeding?"

"_Emmendo._" Snape touched his wand to the slash and it closed. "The next time you decide to harm yourself, would you warn me first?" he asked angrily.

After flashing him look of contempt, I turned my eyes to the bloody wall and began to read out loud, translating for my husband as I went along. "Sorcery is the beginning, before the beginning and after the end. Death reverses and life progresses, backward then forward, then backward to the future of the past to live again. You once what you were and shall be again. Older than younger, but younger than old. To the wind, to the sun, to the earth, to the waters: moons and the stars will be all that one sees. If you look very close you'll see nothing at all. If you look very far you'll see something that you are. If you look in between you'll see danger and peace. If you don't look at all you'll hear screaming and laughing, fighting and loving and killing and living. Follow the lines, but mind you stay clear. Evil is goodness and goodness is fear…"

"Blood has been shed of true loves deception. No longer are the days of the pure. Children of The Originators will suffer for her. The husband begets evil, begets powerless lines. The breath of the beginning lies waiting a return. Soul of the mother who's womb will be torn. Betray him not, dark lover and friend. Running from guardians who stole a last chance…the dark lord awaits, the husband was he… born half of magic half of hatred and serpent. Love the woman, no matter the cost. She has to betray you, but all is not lost. If you request that she run to another, the past will be the future and the future torn asunder."

"What? Jibberish! Just like that damned book," he whispered.

"I know." I put my hand to the wall and slid my fingers across the cracks. "It's moving!" I exclaimed in fear. Severus pulled me back, and the wall crumbled. "I see something!"

"It's a crown," he voiced. We crouched down to climb into the room.

"I feel as if I've been here before." I felt out of place, like I had the night I awoke to find Harry in the Shrieking Shack. I walked hand in hand with my husband to look at the crown. "I saw this in the book. I was wearing it." I reached out to touch it. but Severus grabbed my arm to stop me.

"This may be a trap. Look!" Snape pointed to the cloak which was lying beneath the crown. It looked as if a body had vanished from within it.

_I recognize that! I…she wore it on my…her wedding day. She married a man out of duty rather than love. I loved the king…she loved the king._

"Severus, it was me?" I whispered.

"We need to get out of here now," he sternly said.

"The crown." I reached my hand out and it flew to me. Instinctively I pulled out a large, yellow stone from its center. It glowed in my hand and filled the room with warm, yellow light. The room began to tremble and the stones fell. Severus grabbed my arm and dragged me out and then we ran for the entrance, barely escaping as dust and rubble sealed the passage.

Bill took my arm as Severus and I coughed and staggered out. "Unbeliveable!" Bill exclaimed.

"Give me that stone, Ellie!" Snape commanded. He snatched it from my hand and warned, "This is coming with me, do you understand? You nearly got us killed back there!"

"I had to get it back. It-it… called to me. It's something important," I said, trance-like. "The king gave it to me when I died so that I would return to him. Something happened and he didn't make it. You came instead," I said to my husband. "There must have been some sort of mistake or miscalculation on the King's part. I can't believe that I remember this! It's like a memory of an old childhood fairy tale or something."

"It's bloody fucking bizarre, is what it is," declared Bill.

"Thank you, Mr. Weasley, for that stunning summation of the night's events," spat Snape.

I stared at the stone. "We must destroy this. It will only bring bad things," I whispered.

Severus eyed me with curiousity.

"I love you, Severus. We have to destroy this! Who I was must not become who I am. The king knew he was wrong," I cried.

"This stone will see its end in due time. For now, you must return to Muggle camp and I must go to Hogwarts."

"How are you getting home?" I asked.

"I am Apparating to Cypress then taking the Portkey back to Hogwarts. I am coming back for you at the end of your dig, unless you send for me sooner."

"Severus, don't listen to the lies from the stone. I am _your_ wife, not his," I warned.

"I have no intention of sharing you with a man who has been dead for millennia," he purred silkily. "This is all a bit ridiculous, if you ask me."

"Perhaps it is. I would just really like to know what in the hell all this means!" I complained.

"Either someone is playing a prank of gargantuan proportion or this is for real," Snape surmised.

"Thank you, Mr. Snape, for stating the blatantly obvious in such a way as to annoy the shit out of me," I snapped.

"Hm," he grumbled. "It is time for my departure."

His demeanor softened a little as he kissed me farewell. "I do love you, Mrs. Snape." A wry grin played on his lips as he then said, "In the words of Rob Milner: try not to squat and spit out that kid of yours in the desert."

"You ass!" I exclaimed. "We shall be just fine."

"Then I am off."

With a loud cracking pop, Severus Snape was gone.

_I am pregnant and all alone in Egypt._

Bill escorted me back to camp, and we were promptly welcomed by Gilly and the rising sun. I felt exposed and alone, and the last thing I wanted to do was make excuses about my whereabouts last night. Gilly told everyone that I was feeling a bit ill and not to bother me so I could sleep. Ignoring Gilly's protests, Rob entered my tent and I cried myself to sleep in his arms.

"Ellie, did you and Severus have a fight?" Rob asked concerned.

"No, we're fine. He had to go and I had to let him."

"Is there some secret you want to tell me? You have the same look on your face as the day when you melted my record collection."

I giggled. "Yes, but you have to _swear_ that you won't freak out on me, all right? This is going to be the strangest thing you've ever heard, and you won't believe it at first. Just remember that it's me like always, Rob."

"I trust you, sweetie," he assured me.

_You say that now, but you ain't seen nothin' yet!_

"I have abilities, like well… I can do magic," I stated cautiously. He looked at me cockeyed. "I know it sounds crazy but…" I explained as best I could for over an hour.

"Severus can do this too?" he asked.

"Everyone can at the school where I teach. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, but it's just so …" he muttered.

"Unreal, I know. Want to see a little something?"

"Oh, boy," he sighed. "Yeah, but nothing to freaky, okay?"

"Get ready." I summoned his hat from the other side of the tent.

"No Way!" He was amazed but, surprisingly, he was not scared. "Do something else!" I levitated my water jug. "Wicked! One more, Ellie!" I clasped my hands together and opened them to reveal a small ball of blue light, which I then released, blew on it, and it turned into a butterfly.

"Do you still love me?" I asked apprehensively.

"Of course I do! Why didn't you tell me before?" Rob looked really happy.

"We aren't supposed to reveal ourselves to Muggles -- non magical folk. I knew I could trust you not to say a word," I said sternly.

"No way, I would never say anything. You are my friend, and I love you."

"Then please rub my back, It's killing me!" I moaned. Rob worked his hands in my lower back. "Oh, heaven. This belly does a number on my back."

"Will the kid be like you?"

"Well, he will definitely be like Severus. I hope no one will ever be like me. I hope I am the last of my kind."

"I hope not," Rob crooned sweetly, "you are the best."

"Tokey, _you_ are the best."

Rob had always been there for me even when I could not be there for myself.

OOOOOOO

A day after Severus returned to Hogwarts, my team and I went to our next dig site to resume our expedition. Tempted as I was to leave or contact my husband, I resolved myself to 'play Muggle' for a while longer.

_How are things back home? Is Malfoy looking for me? Will anyone really believe the affair story? Lucky for me that I have Rob and Gilly to confide in. I miss my husband._

"So, Ellie, how's that baby doing?" asked Gilly.

"Murder on my back! This heat is almost unbearable during the day, Gilly. How far along were you when you did this?" I asked.

"Not that far. I was only in my first trimester. Puking was a daily routine for me."

"Hey, ladies, it's time to work now," Rob called out as he came to greet us. "Sarah is having a fit over there! I have a feeling she might be bailing on us."

I rolled my eyes. "What is wrong with princess now?" I asked. I looked across the campsite and saw a very disgruntled Sarah smacking at her husbands chest.

"You won't like it," Rob mumbled.

"Milner, spit it out!" commanded Gilly.

"First it was the coffee, there was no sugar. That is what started it anyway," he began. Gilly and I just looked at each other and shook our heads. "Uh, then her boots had a scorpion in em. Luckily she took our advice and shook em out first. Now she can't find her hairbrush."

"Give me a damn break!" I yelled angrily. "Let me talk to her!" I could hear Gilly laughing madly as I walked over to Sarah. "Sarah, I hear your morning has been less than good."

"I hate this desert and this stupid filthy place!" Sarah whined.

"Why did you want to be an archeologist?" I asked angrily. "This is the most exciting part?"

"Well, we can't all be as tough as you and your dike buddy Gilly! What the hell are you doing out here anyway? Pregnant women should be at home with their husbands!"

I had a sudden urge to hurl her to the ground and beat that pretty little face to a pulp! "Mind what you say about other people, Princess. I may be as big as a house but I can still kick your prissy little ass!" I pointed my finger directly in her face. "Maybe _you_ are the one who should be at home getting a pedicure and eating bon-bons, bitch!"

Sarah started to cry and ran into her tent. I was fuming and truly hoped she would leave this place immediately. Gilly came over to me and pulled me away before I could go charging into the tent after Sarah. "Come on, Snape. We have work to do," Gilly said.

"That little…she had better leave!" I warned.

"Trust me, she's as good as gone," Rob confirmed.

OOOOOOO

Sarah left on a plane the next day. Matt stayed behind with us, and we soon learned that he was a really nice man. Without his wife around he opened up, and we all had a wonderful time for the rest of our time in Africa.

* * *

In mid March my husband returned to me to take me home. Rob and I cried as we hugged goodbye, and I promised I would keep in touch, somehow. Gilly winked at Severus when she shook his hand, and she and Rob watched us sail off into the horizon toward Cypress. We stayed in Cypress for the night, as we could no longer take a Portkey because it would endanger the baby.

"Severus, how are we getting home?" I asked as we cuddled in bed.

"By train. It will take a week but we do not have another option. You have grown much larger since I have been away. I hate to have missed even a moment."

"I feel ready to pop. The last week was nearly unbearable, but Rob helped as best he could."

"Milner will be forever in my debt."

"I told him who I really was and he accepted me without question. I miss him so much. I had forgotten what a good friend he was, but he can never be like you. You are my very best friend."

"That was a bit too sappy," Snape hissed.

OOOOOOO

In the morning I began to feel contractions but didn't tell Severus. They were mild, and I knew it was common to have phantom labor pains this late in my pregnancy. Before we left, however, they grew more intense. "Bugger, that hurts," I complained as I stopped moving and rubbed my belly.

"What? It is too soon for that," he proclaimed.

"I know, it's nearly four weeks early. It will pass," I assured him, but he wasn't convinced.

"Ellie, maybe you should see a healer before we get on the train, just to be sure."

"Here? I don't think so. I want to go home!" I whined.

"We shall stay another night to see if this does indeed pass," he commanded.

"Come on, I want to get home and sleep in my own bed and see my friends."

"I am a man of many talents, but midwifery is not one!" he spat. "We shall have some lunch and then we shall see a healer. No arguments."

I wasn't very hungry and I hated to admit Severus was right because the pains were still getting more intense. I gritted my teeth and tried to pass it off, but he was not buying it. I complained the entire way to the healer's hut but when we met with her I calmed down. She was a tiny old woman with missing teeth, but she smiled like she had them. She examined me and pronounced that I was in the first stages of a real labor.

"But it's too early!" I worried out loud.

"The baby shouldn't come for another month," supported Severus, while I gripped his hand with iron force.

"It cannot be stopped, but it will be all right. The child is very strong and will not have complications," she assured.

"How long is this going to take?" I asked impatiently. "We have a train to catch."

"As long as it takes," she snapped. "You can leave for a while, but when it becomes more frequent and painful you must return at once."

"I'm out of here!" I leapt up from the table.

"Ellie, slow down!" spat Severus.

"She said I could go, so I am."

"You are being ridiculous." he hissed. I took his hand and pouted. "Are you prepared for this?"

"No, but I have to be, don't I? Are you ready?" I asked him as we walked down the street, looking into the store windows.

"As long as you are, I shall be. I haven't a clue how to be a father. Mine was no good," he replied.

"Well I've never been a mother before either, and The Guardians weren't exactly the best parents. I figure, as long as we don't do anything our parents did, we shall be fine."

"Love…that is one thing he shall have that neither of us had. I love him more than I ever thought possible and I have not yet set eyes on him," he said sweetly.

"We'll figure it out together."

"All of our things are at home, so we should stop in here and get some necessities." We saw baby clothes and items in the window. "Nothing too ridiculous," he grumbled.

We bought a few blankets, some nappies, and three outfits, but then Severus surprised me by purchasing the most adorable tiny green booties and a little matching cap. "Bottoms and tops," he proclaimed as he stuffed them into our bag. We took it easy walking around and resting a bit, then shortly after dinner came the pain.

"Son of a …!" I wailed.

Severus was startled and jumped. "Is it time?"

"No, but it is really coming now," I replied. We started the walk back to the hut. "Hold on a minute….oh lord! Don't worry, this will take hours."

OOOOOO

By the time we reached the hut I was highly agitated, but Severus was very attentive and didn't mind my bitching. When it became more frequent, he helped me into the bed and sat next to me. "Do you want me to help with the pain? I can give you something or charm you," he asked gently.

"No, it will hurt like hell but I will manage. It will be worth it, if I don't go mad first," I replied. "Just rub my back a bit and tell me how much you love me."

"Hm," he muttered. "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…"

"Shut up!" I bitched. "So, what did you tell Malfoy?"

"I told him that if he ever approached you again I would have him drawn and quartered."

"You did not!" I replied. "What did you _really_ say?"

"I told him that I knew about the affair and that I had decided to forgive you. Furthermore, I informed him that if he ever decided to approach you in a less than proper manner, I would promptly remove his manhood."

I rolled my eyes. "Do you think he bought it?"

"We shall see," mumbled Snape.

OOOOOO

As the night progressed so did the contractions. I was stronger than I realized and Severus was impressed. "Ah!" I screamed as the worst pain in the world split me in two. "I think it's time to get that witch in here! My arse is ripping in half!"

The raggedy old witch entered the room. "Are you ready to push now? It won't be long; you are nearing the end," the witch informed.

"Gods, I hope so! Severus…" He held my hand and put his other on my back.

"Now, when I say push, I mean it! Bear down and let it go. Husband, help her out!" she instructed.

"Ellie, are you ready?" Severus asked, sounding like a Quidditch captain.

"Don't let go of my hand! Ok, I can do this!" I said as I panted.

"Right now, Push!" she yelled. I took a deep breath and squeezed like crazy.

I whimpered and then screamed out loud. When it passed, I lay back on the pillows and Severus kissed my forehead. "This is impossible! The pressure is tremendous," I panted out.

"You are doing an excellent job."

"Another one's coming, ooh…damn it!" I yelled as I groaned and gritted my teeth.

"Push!" yelled the witch, and again I did.

This went on for _quite_ some time, and then it felt different.

"I can see the head now, mummy! Give it the hardest push you've got and then you'll have your baby!"

"Severus, I think I'm dying …ooh… no more. Can't she just pull it out?" I whined.

"This is the last one. Now, compose yourself and give us our child!" he said firmly.

I drew in a deep breath and gave it all I had left.

"It's a boy!" yelled the witch. A moment later the most wonderful sound filled the room. "He's healthy and weighs nearly eight pounds."

Our son was screaming his tiny little lungs out. He arrived at three in the morning on March 17th and was not happy to be awakened so rudely. She magically cleaned him and held him up. I started to cry and Severus squeezed my hand. "Here you are mummy." She handed me my boy. His perfect little head was full of black curls. I thought he looked just like his father.

"Amazing," Severus said stunned as he stared at his son. "How did you do that?"

"We did it, Severus. Here, you should hold him."

"No," he replied, "I do not have the required expertise."

"You won't break him, I promise. Babies are tougher than they appear. Just watch his head because his neck is wobbly. Come closer to me and I'll show you," I said lovingly. Severus sat close to me and looked at our baby with such love and wonder.

"What if the boy dislikes me and starts to wail?" he asked.

"He probably will wail, Severus, but it has nothing to do with his not liking you," I replied. "Here, just hold him like this. See?" I slid his son slowly into his arms. "See, that's it."

"Pleased to meet you. I am Potions Master Severus Snape," he stated very matter-of-factly. "I am your father and this is your mother." The baby stopped fussing. Severus looked at me amused. "I believe he likes me."

"Well, he should because he looks just like you! Look at all that hair! If I had gone full term he would have been twelve pounds with a ponytail," I joked.

"Yes, but I think he has your eyes, Ellie. He is remarkably handsome," he marveled. "Are you sure he's mine? He's just so…perfect."

"No, Severus, he's really Hagrid's kid," I laughed and he sneered at me. "I think we should name him after you, daddy."

"Flattering as that may be, I thought we'd call him…Julian." I was deeply touched and tears filled my eyes. "What do you think? He looks like a 'Julian' to me?"

"Julian Severus Snape. That sounds right," I sniffled.

"Well then, hello, Julian Snape: our first child and Slytherin god," he announced proudly.

I laughed and realized how utterly exhausted I was. "Can I have him back for a minute before I pass out?"

"Here you are." Severus handed him to me. "You've had a long night."

"So did you. Will you be all right if I take a nap?"

"Of, course. Julian and I will be in the chair." He took our son and I kissed my husband passionately. I fell asleep easily and dreamed of Severus and our new addition.

OOOOOOO

When I woke up Severus was asleep in the bed beside me. I looked around and saw that Julian was with the witch being examined. Julian started crying, which woke Severus quickly. "What time is it?" he asked.

"It is just after ten," informed the witch as she brought us our wailing baby. "He is in perfect physical condition." She handed him to me. "He's hungry now. You should all have something to eat after I examine you, Mrs. Snape."

"Severus, you can go eat in a minute." I handed Julian to him. "Madam Relic, when can we leave?"

She began examining me. "Let me see… you seem to be fine. No conjugal activities for six weeks, rest a few days before you get on the train, and eat as much as you like." I blushed a bit and smiled at Severus, who curled his lip. "You can leave the hut tonight after you've eaten and slept for a while. Mr. Snape, you can sleep in the bed again with your wife if she wants."

"Of course I can," he hissed. He handed Julian to me and asked, "What would you like me to bring for you?"

"Some of that roast chicken we saw yesterday, please." I kissed him.

"What should I bring for Julian?"

"I have what he needs." Severus looked confused, and then I looked at my breasts.

"Oh, right," he understood, "A very lucky boy indeed."

I rolled my eyes and pulled out my breast as Severus watched curiously. "Are you hungry, sweetie," I whispered as I tried to figure out what I was doing. Julian knew better. No sooner had I placed my breast in his mouth then he latched on and began feeding. "Well, that was good. I didn't know how I was going to get him to do it, but he sure figured it out."

"He is a Snape, after all," he declared.

Julian's little fist was grasping my finger as he suckled. "I love him so much, Severus."

He kissed my head and then Julian's. "I'll be back in a minute with your rations."

"Can I have some raisin bread as well, the kind with the swirls?" Snape nodded and then went to fetch our meal. I just watched the baby at my breast thinking _How can anyone be so amazing?_

When he pulled away, I put him over my shoulder and patted his back to get a burp. The good thing about being a magical mom is the diaper changing charm. When he was clean and dry I called for the bag of clothes and delicately put him in soft, green and yellow cotton pajamas. _How adorable!_ I put on his green booties and hat then wrapped him in a yellow blanket. I lifted my knees up and laid him on my legs to just look at him.

"Is everything all right?" asked Severus as he entered the room with a large box of food.

"Yeah, I dressed him up." I smiled and giggled. "He's staring at me."

Severus put the food down on the table and stood behind the bed to have a look. "Those are definitely your eyes," he stated. "He looks happy, not to mention handsome." He bent over me and said to Julian, "Did you enjoy your lunch, little fellow?"

Julian opened his eyes a little wider, and I laughed.

"He really responds to your voice. Look at him! He looks like he wants to say something," I giggled.

I picked him up and cradled him in my arms. I hummed a light tune and watched his little eyes close. A few minutes after he fell asleep, Severus took him and put him in the cot by the bed. "Feed me! I'm starving," I whispered. My husband helped me to sit on the edge of the bed and pulled the table to me. I was really sore all over as if I had run a marathon.

"You look as if you are in pain."

"Just stiff and sore. Can you imagine why?" I took a large bite of chicken. "Thanks. I know you have to be almost as tired as I am."

"After we eat we shall sleep. Ellie, don't shove the whole of that in your mouth!" he snapped. "Charming," he sneered.

Julian whimpered a little, causing us both to look at him, but he did not wake.

"See, he says not to bother Mummy," I said.

"Hm…I think he said not to talk with your mouth full."

OOOOOOO

After a glorious meal Severus helped me to lie down. He fluffed the pillows and covered me with the blankets. He gently got in beside me and I put my head on his shoulder and slung my arms around his chest. Julian woke us a while later with his angry cries. "I bet he's hungry again," I whispered sleepily. "I'll feed him while you gather our things to leave." I started to get up.

Severus got up first and said, "Stay put, I shall bring him to you."

Finally, we could go back to our room at the pub. Severus carried Julian as I waddled slowly beside them. "I wish you could carry me as well," I whined. "He's a lucky little git."

"Yes he is. He has you for a mother," he answered sweetly. "Already you seem as though you've done this before."

I chuckled. "I will give it my best."

"He's staring at me again. I wish I knew what he was thinking." Severus smiled at him. "You are sleeping with us tonight, boy."

The bed felt wonderful and I thought I would sleep forever. Severus laid Julian on his chest and rubbed his little back while I snuggled next to them and put my finger in his miniature hand. "You are wonderful, Severus. Julian and I are so lucky to have you." He looked into my eyes and whispered 'I love you, Ellie.' This was our first night alone with our son. We knew our lives were forever changed for the better. Julian was our life now and always would be.

* * *

Julian was such a good baby and only cried when he needed something. We woke several times to feed him and change him but we were happy to do it. Two days passed before we made the train. The ride was exhausting and bumpy and seemed to last a month instead of a week.

"Thank the stars, we are finally in London," I exclaimed as we made our way to Diagon Alley to find our carriage. Severus went to see about it and left us at a table outside Florean Fortescue's ice cream shop.

Lucius Malfoy approached me when we were alone. "Lucius!"

"The baby is here all ready?" Malfoy asked as he came nearer to see. "Are you both all right?"

I was uncertain what to do because Severus and I had forgotten to talk about it, due to Julian's early arrival. "Yes, thank you. We are both perfectly well."

"Where is your husband?" he asked coldly.

"Arranging our carriage home. Lucius, I…don't know what to say." Julian started to cry. "Shh, it's all right," I comforted. "There's my boy…yes." I smiled at him and kissed his little tears.

"Does the little one have a name, or shall I just call him baby?" Lucius didn't seem to be angry.

"His name is Julian," I cooed as I rocked him to stop his cries. "There we are."

"He is good looking boy. Healthy lungs for sure," Lucius replied. "You seem to know just what to do, Ellie. I knew you would be the best mother."

_Hm…please go away!_

"Well, I love him more than anything in the world, Lucius."

"As well you should. Narcissa handed Draco over to the nanny the minute he was born," he sneered. "I was in charge of his feedings. My boy had a father at least."

"I don't want a nanny raising my son. I don't want to miss a minute of this." I watched Julian sleep in my arms.

"Were you alone when you had him?" he asked slyly.

"Severus was with me, of course," I said defensively. "He is a very attentive father."

Lucius pursed his lips in disgust. "If you ever need me, come at once. Julian will be welcomed with open arms, Ellie. I told you I would love him as my own."

_Don't you ever give up, Malfoy?_

"I know, Lucius, but Severus and I need to be with our son. He needs both his parents."

_Please come back soon, Severus, I need you…Oh, thank gods!_

"Malfoy, can I help you with something?" Snape hissed.

"Just meeting your son, Severus," he said cordially. "He is a magnificent boy. Congratulations."

"I know. Now if you will excuse us, I am taking _my wife_ and son home with me," he spat.

"See that you do," Malfoy warned. "I will see you later," he directed at me.

"Goodbye, Lucius," I said politely and joined my angry husband. Malfoy smiled wickedly, bowed, and left. "I thought you'd never return," I sighed as we walked swiftly down the alley.

Through clenched teeth and a curled lip, Severus spat out, "Malfoy didn't waste any time in finding you alone."

"What was I supposed to do? He cornered us back there!"

"I'll not let you out of my sight again! Malfoy won't get his hands on you." Julian started crying again. Severus looked at him and said, "He won't come near you either, son. May I hold him now?"

I handed him over once we were in the carriage and Severus calmed down. "Shh, almost home now," he soothed. Julian curled his fingers around his father's little finger, and Severus smiled sweetly. "That's my boy." My heart leapt at the sight of him and his son. They were going to be very close, they already were.

The gates of the school opened for us. "While we were away this time the addition we talked about was completed. I have not yet seen it," he stated.

"Really? I can't wait to see it. Should we go to dinner with the rest of the school?" I wondered how Julian would do around a crowd of noisy students all peeking at him.

"Perhaps you should feed him first."

"Where could we sneak off to without going back to our rooms?"

He sent our bags home magically then said, "The rose garden is usually empty at this time; in fact Julian was created in there around this time of day."

"Severus," I said, embarrassed.

The white bench under the tree was empty when we arrived. The three of us filled it, and I began to feed our son while Severus watched. "The site of the two of you together is breathtaking."

"Can you believe he's been with us for seven days now? I can't imagine him not being here," I said quietly. Julian was suckling happily and squeezing my finger as usual.

"He will never be apart from us." Severus brushed the dark curls of Julian's hair with his fingers and his little eyelids flickered. "I think we should have another straight away so he will have a playmate."

"Well, I won't do anything to prevent it, but while I am breastfeeding the body naturally has ways of controlling it."

"I never thought I would want even one, then you came back to me. I would have been happy with just you, but now that he's here I feel our family forming. I have a family, can you believe it? When I look at you and our son I can't imagine how either of our parents could have been so cruel. I shall have a hard time punishing him when he misbehaves."

"You say that now, but wait until he's a teenager. Punishment need not involve being locked up or beaten near death," I said testily, thinking about The Guardians.

"No one will dare harm my boy or I shall torture and kill then!" he said angrily. Then he smiled maniacally and said, "That is, if you don't get them first." He seemed proud at the thought of seeing my wrath unleashed and kissed me wickedly. "Six weeks until we can--"

"It is five now, and don't remind me, you evil man," I said slyly. "I have an idea or two that I will be happy to share with you later tonight." I put away my breast and burped my little Snape.

"Oh, Mrs. Snape, shame on you. In front of the children," he scolded flirtatiously.

"Ready for center stage, Professor?" I asked as he helped me stand. Severus sneered and smacked my bottom. "Later," I fussed, which peaked his interest.

We proceeded to the Great Hall to introduce our son to Hogwarts.

* * *

**ATTENTION: Reviews wanted.**


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